I read something recently about how every now and then “our journey collides with someone who changes it all”.
It made me think about the past fews years that we’ve been blogging/reading blogs and how, for us, that “someone” has so often been a person on the other side of our computer screen. Someone that we may or may not ever even have the chance to meet in person- but man we wish we could, because reading what they wrote definitely changed our journey for the better.
The following post is a tender one, and we’re hoping to hear from lots of “someone’s” in the comments section today.
We started researching adoption a couple of years ago, and right away, we knew that it was definitely something we wanted to be a part of. My dad was adopted as an infant, and his adoptive parents, my Grandma Evelyn and Grandpa Richard, were….
Gosh.
I don’t even know that I can put into words how much I love and miss them.
I keep a picture of them on my nightstand and I find so much comfort in their smiles every day.
Fast forward to the summer of 2011. We were asked to film a pilot episode for HGTV. It wasn’t something we sought out- they just came a’knockin’, and we felt like we should at least try and give it a whirl. Unsure of what our future held, we put our adoption plans on a temporary hold so that we could figure out what the heck was going to happen with that whole ordeal first.
Long story short, our pilot episode didn’t turn into a TV series this year. Short story even shorter: WHEW! (We are so grateful to have had the opportunity, but we learned real quick that it wouldn’t have been the right fit for us in the long run.)
So here we are. Back to adoption square one.
We’re more eager than ever, but we’re also kind of unsure about where to start (again).
All we know is this:
We want to create a family with a little one, that for one reason or another, needs a mom and dad.
Just like my dad did when he was only 3 months old…
Just like “Firecracker’s” little sister did last week…
Just like Joy’s son Eli did…
Just like Shannan’s daughter Ruby did…
Just like the brothers Mike and Kerri adopted did…
Those folks have inspired us so much, and if our purpose for this life is to Love, and to grow in Love, we look forward to growing in it no matter where it finds us- just like they did.
Love has no boundaries, and neither do our adoption plans. So whether our journey collides with a gift right here at home in Alabama…
…or right here at home in the USA…
…or right here at home, on God’s great Earth…
…we look forward to the opportunity to continue our journey with a little someone who changes it all.
We do have a question for any adoptive or soon-to-be adoptive parents out there, though. How did you decide where to adopt from? There are so many children out there that need families, and we keep feeling led in so many different directions. Doors seem to open and close on us at every turn, which makes the whole process hard to even start. We’d love to hear about your experience if you’re up for sharing it.
PS- Speaking of blog-related journeys and collisions, I just had to include this comment a “someone” named Betsy left on a blog post of ours a while back:
Click the play button below to hear Peter tell his story:
Powerful, powerful stuff…thank you, Betsy. So grateful to have collided with you.
I’m a single mom by choice and was blessed to have my daughter myself at 41. I just wanted to wish you much luck, strength and blessings on your journey to create your family.
God will make it clear to you, he will provide a path. Keep praying and ask others for prayer.
We adopted a baby girl from Ethiopia, the process took 3 years & was difficult but completely worth it. There are pro’s & con’s to international & domestic, we prayed over it & asked for wisdom from God b/c like you said, the need is great. When we began researching Ethiopia the need was so overwhelming (5 million orphans just in that country) & the poverty so overwhelming. Of course children everywhere need a home, but I think God makes it clear what path to choose and gives you a peace once you decide – international can take longer and be a little more expensive, you miss out on some time with them initially but you also don’t have to deal with a mom changing her mind last minute (rare if that happens) or meeting with the birth mom through the years. Our girl was abandoned, as is most orphans in Ethiopia, brought to an orphanage and would end up on the street or not make it until their 5th b-day. These were things to consider. Finding an agency is important as well. Feel free to email me with any questions (we just brought home our daughter in April of this year so it’s very fresh on my mind). So glad you are doing this – it’s worth every tear & struggle.
We have five adopted children. It would take a book to tell you our story but when we started our journey, my goal at the time was to adopt an infant. I had suffered 4 miscarriages. One of the miscarriages was twins so we lost 5 babies altogether. We just wanted a baby. I started researching local agencies and called one that didn’t have a year or two year wait. That’s the one we went with. We ended up with a 27 day old baby in less than a year. When he was 2, we did it again. Different agency but same social worker. We just kind of followed her. This time we adopted an 18 day old baby girl. Our social worker sent us a letter in the mail saying that she was going to start working with an international agency in Ukraine. We didn’t end up using her again but her letter got us looking into Ukraine. 4 years after that second adoption we headed to Ukraine. We cam home with two 14 month old baby boys. When those boys were 5 years old we got a call. There was a baby not born yet and she would need a family when she was born. For many reasons there were other families wanting to adopt who turned her down. We know the real reason was that God had planned all along for her to be in our family. We brought her home when she was 24 hours old. It is unbelievable that with waiting lists the way they are we ended up with five babies. We lost five babies, two of which were twins, and God gave us five babies, two of which were the same age. Our story is full of miracles and God’s love. I guess all I can say is pray and ask God to show you the way to go. He will bring the right child or children to you.
Wow! I have chill bumps! What a beautiful story of God’s grace and provision!!
I wish you luck in your journey! My adopted children are now 30 and 26 years old respectively. Heath was 13 days old when we picked him up from one of the hospitals in our county, and Virginia was only three days old when we brought her home. You are doing the right thing by letting people know you are interested in adoption. And you can reach a MUCH broader audience than I could 30+ years ago! But it was by being open about our desire to adopt that ultimately led to the greatest miracles of our lives. And, believe it or not, when Virginia was six weeks old, another person contacted us about ANOTHER possibility. That “possibility” was adopted by two dear college friends. We have all been blessed by these wonderful children, and I pray you will be, too.
Another time, I will have to tell you about Virginia meeting her birth mother a few years ago. The story will warm your heart!
I did not want to adopt.
My husband and I tried to get pregnant for close to four years and by the end of that dreadfully grueling process (infertility and the things we crazy humans do to try and get a baby in our tummy) I was a wreck and certainly not up for an exhausting adoptive procedure. I didn’t think I could do it – or even wanted to. “How can I love someone who is not my flesh and blood? I pleaded with my husband. And he sat up, looked at me straight on and said the words that changed my life. “Heather. I love you, and you are NOT my flesh and blood.”
That was it. Since we wanted a baby *yesterday* and we also had no clue what we were doing, we reached out to an adoption coordinator {http://www.adoptioninfosvcs.com/} in Atlanta where we live. Within, I kid you not, 9 months, we were flying to California to meet our newborn baby boy.
God laughed and about a year later, I was pregnant.
We have an 11 year old adopted boy, a biological 9 year old girl and we adopted again in 2006 and have a boy who just started Kindergarten. Our family is, complete.
I will pray for you all!
My husband and I are in the process of adoption. We spent a lot of time praying and researching the options for where to start. For many reasons we found that domestic adoption was the right way for us. It seems to all depend on what your specific priorities and needs are and most importantly where God is leading you. For us having a shared culture, being able to foster to adopt, and having a more complete medical history for our child were important to us. There is a wonderful site calls AdoptUsKids.org that I would highly recommend as a wonderful resource site on domestic adoption. There is a wonderful full length video on the US foster/adoption system the site that is fantastic! So much has changed legally in favor of the adoptive parent in the past few years and that helped us have more confidence in the domestic system. I hope your journey to adopt is a wonderful one!
We just submitted our application on Saturday to begin an Ethiopian adoption. We’ve talked about adoption since before we were married 10 years ago, have since had 2 sons, and now are ready to expand our family again. My only sister was adopted domestically at 4 days old, so it’s near to my heart. We also believe adoption is God’s design–in our need, He grafted us into His family–and we hope to graft another in need into our family–for His glory.
What a loving post…..I wish you both all the best!!
I had been wondering when this topic (the one that really got me hooked to the blog) would come back… but I didn’t dare to ask. I have no word of wisdom for you… but I’m looking forward to reading your story, as adoption has always been on my mind…
Layla & Kevin,
Congratulations!
We adopted our amazing daughter almost 12 years ago when she was born. We attended a RESOLVE meeting in our area about adoption. Various agencies were there speaking about domestic adoptions, international, foster care…you name it someone was there from every area to give a presentation and speak about it.
We really connected with a lady from a domestic adoption agency that was 2 hours away from us. She was an attorney who did private adoptions but then started an agency. She was an advocate for birthmothers and let the birthmothers see every profile. They didn’t narrow anyone down by religion, or how long they’d been on a waiting list. They believed connections are made and the birthmother should see everyone available to her. It was 9 months from the time we signed up with them to till the day we brought our daughter home. It was magic!
I have to say THE BEST THING I DID was remove myself from any one situation. When I realized that OUR child was going to come to us when SHE was ready. I believe we all are set on a course like you mentioned to touch each others lives. When I figured out that she needed to be here when the experiences were going to line up with what was right for her life. I was able to hold my arms open wide and wait for her to arrive. Patience is something you learn as a parent. I was learning patience. I was learning to say to this little one out in the universe “It’s ok. Mommy & Daddy are here for you now and you can come as soon as you are ready. It is safe & everything will be ok. We are ready when you are.” I then began to prepare a nursery and buy items for a little one….I wasn’t getting them ready for a particular situation I was getting them ready for our child. Somedays I closed the door to the nursery and some days I sat inside and dreamt about what it would feel like to finally hold her. Now that she is here, I can’t imagine another person to connect with our family. I feel so honored to have been chosen to be her mother. She is amazing!
Enjoy the ride 😀
So powerful! I finally get it! God has shown me His grace and compassion by giving His Son to die for my sins. I can surely give other forgiveness and show them compassion because it is what God would want me to do and because it is the right thing to do. I didn’t have to earn it from God. There could be no way I could earn such a gift from God. And what is better yet, He gave ti to me know ing couldn’t earn and because He wanted to …… WOW!
i adopted my daughter from China in 2004, when she was 11 months old. I KNEW I wanted to adopt from China since I was 8 or 9…. NO, really!! I always wanted to adopt & was way too scared to birth a baby, so it all worked out! I used GWCA out of TX (even though I don’t even live close to TX!) and was thrilled with them. My daughter is the absolute joy of my life, she is the BEST decision I ever made!! It was an amazing trip, and an amazing experience and now… an amazing life. The love I have for my daughter is like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. Best wishes on your journey!!
Love your blog! I have had the joy of being able to witness my brother and sister-in-law adopt, and it has been such an incredible joy to see how much their lttle boy has blessed them and my family. On a more serious note, today many friends and family are starting a novena ( a multiple-day prayer) for a couple we know trying to adopt a baby boy out of state. What started as a smooth adoption, has become complicated, and they may lose this little boy they have been fostering for over 3 months. So please pray for them whoever read this because they and this precious baby really need prayers for both God’s will and peace and strength! Thanks and will be praying you!
I think of choosing where/how to adopt as following the yellow brick road. I don’t know how we chose Korea. I know that we looked at domestic adoption, foster care adoption, and many different countries. I would have told you when I was 15 I wanted to adopt from China. I would have told you two months before we started the adoption process that I didn’t want to adopt. As we were discussing the options Korea just felt right and kept coming up. It just felt right. I know, not helpful, huh?
I guess it came down to a few things. It’s a program I believe in. It’s a culture I find interesting and can be proud to adopt and help him be proud of and learn about. But in the end, our heart led us to where we were meant to be. And yours will too. We’ve been home just a short time and we think we are the luckiest people alive.
Pray, listen, follow your heart. You’ll find the right path.
I do not have any adoption wisdom to share with you other than to keep your faith. I’ve had friends that have gone through the process and they all say it’s the wildest roller coaster ride you’ll ever go on, but so very worth all the ups and downs in the end. I wish you and Kevin all the best during this journey; I will pray for you two. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I was wondering if you would update us on your adoptions plans! My husband and I are just getting started on domestic adoption. We believe we are supposed to adopt from Foster Care and start our required classes and homestudy in November. My advice to you is to attend informational meetings held by adoption agencies. You get the opportunity to ask questions and figure out what the best option for your family. We ended up choosing Foster Care adoption for two reasons…it is the most affordable route…and has the greatest need (especially when considering sibling groups). I felt like now would be the easiest time to adopt older children. We could always adopt or have an infant later when it could be more financially feasible…and then the children would be in birth order (not sure that really matters :))
I believe God will show you the way. It is amazing the freedom you will feel if you just let God direct each step. We had no idea we would end up here. Who knows…we may get pregnant or have someone we know ask us to adopt a relative of theirs. 🙂
One more recommendation….tell everyone you know! 🙂 You never know who may have a connection with a child or baby that needs a home! I’m going to be updating my blog soon to get the word out for my family too :).
we adopted internationally when it was still relatively “easy”. lots of years later & lots of gov’t regs later my heart breaks for kids who languish because it’s become so complicated. we still receive e-mails from our agency & there are many kids in china who need homes. your process will move more quickly if you’re willing to accept a “special needs” child. wish you could meet my “special needs” child. he’s exceptionally smart & quite the athlete. don’t be scared off by labels that may be placed on the children but be realistic at the same time. pray for the LORD’s guidance–he’ll show you where your children are.
Just wanted to add a comment here to let y’all know how much we appreciate you sharing your experiences with us! SO much love throughout this thread! THANK YOU!
Reece’s Rainbow. It is an advocacy group for children who might otherwise have the chance to be adopted. Most of the children listed are in Eastern Europe (Ukraine and Russia). We brought our beautiful daughter, Paisley, home from Russia on Christmas Eve. We would have never found her if it had not been for Reece’s Rainbow. Best of Luck, Renee http://www.reecesrainbow.org
Hi Layla –
This past July my sons and I celebrated our 10th Gotcha Day. In July 2002 two little boys captured my heart and changed my life forever. Adoption was a natural journey for me as I was adopted at birth. But when the time came to choose a direction I felt called to become a foster parent. Fostering isn’t for the weak of heart – it was challanging, frustrating, rewarding, wonderful…all at the same time. I wouldn’t change the past 10 years for anything!!!
The direction you two choose will be filled with ups and downs but when you hug your forever child for the first time…yup…it will all be worth it!
I’m very excited to follow your journey to parenthood. May you find yourself surrounded by loving supportive people.
Steph
Hey there …
I’m not considering adoption right now and have never adopted, but I am a social worker and have worked in a private foster care agency for 7 years. As some of your readers have said, adopting through the foster care system can be difficult and a lengthy process, but it is worth it in the end. I have witnessed many adoptions and worked with so many children awaiting adoption – the joy is tremendous! It’s my favorite part of my job – seeing “forever families” join together. If you have any questions about foster-to-adopting, feel free to e-mail me!
P.S. Love your blog 😉
Oh my. Adoption. It is my heart. I think I was preparing my entire life to be an adoptive mom. And now. My heart for adoption lives and grows right here in our home….via China. We have 3 precious little ones who are now 9, 8 and 3 who look at us through almond eyes. My heart just can not even contain the love I feel for these children. We decided to adopt from Ch!na after I watched an episode of Oprah featuring Lisa Ling. They talked about the babies in The Dying Rooms in Shanghai, Ch!na. My heart shattered. These babies in Shanghai had just been left to die. I could not stop thinking about adopting from Ch!na. I watched Lisa Ling’s NatGeo documentary about “The Lost Girls” of Ch!na. My husband and I decided to adopt the most precious 19 month old girl we had ever seen. She was listed with Children’s House International. It took us 9 months from the day we said, ‘YES!!” to the day we were on a plane heading for Beij!ng! She was 28 months old when they brought her into the room dressed in a puffy pink coat and snow pants. I fed her Cheerios and she was a happy girl! She never looked back. A year and a half later we returned to Gu!lin to adopt another itty bitty girl from the same orphanage. She was not so easily swayed with a handful of Cheerios….but she did love the baby doll we brought her and she still, 5 years later sleeps with her Mei Mei doll every night. She was 39 months old and so tiny that the words “frail and fragile” often came to mind. We thought our family was complete with 6 children until this past year when the cutest little boy ever….EVER….showed up on my computer screen. I knew he was our son the minute I saw him. We brought him home in February of this year. He is 3, and he is funny and kind and sweet and loving and such a joy. He giggles and says, “Don’t chickle me!” when he wants to be tickled. I think we just might be finished now because, you see, our sweet, funny 3 year old boy is from Shangha!…..from the very orphanage I heard about on Oprah that drew me into wanting to adopt from Ch!na. So, why did we adopt from Ch!na? I think because we just knew we were suppose to. It all made perfect sense. It will to you too when you make the decision. Hang on tight…it’s a ride you will never forget! 🙂
The best advice we got was “tell everyone you know that you want to adopt.” We did a home study first, not affiliated with an agency, and were getting ready to call agencies when a friend who works at a hospital called us in the middle of the night to say “there is a young mom who just gave birth to a healthy baby girl and she is interested in an open adoption and I told her about you guys.” We met our daughter and her birthmom within hours and the next day, checked into the hospital with her and brought her home the following day.
Years ago, I used to be very involved in a fabulous organization called the American Adoption Congress ( I am an adoptee as well as my daughter). I heard Adam Pertman (author of Adoption Nation) speak and an audience member asked him “why are so many people going overseas to adopt when there are children in our country who desperately need parents and families?” and I’ll never forget Adam’s answer… “You go where your heart calls you”
I thank God every day for our precious daughter, her courageous birthmother and for our community of friends and family who supported us through a long, rough fertility road.
Many, many blessings to you on your journey to parenthood….
I was so excited to see the title of this post with the word “Adoptive” in it. It’s great to hear where you are in the process again.
My husband and I just started the home study process back in March. We hope to finish by the end of this month…. we have been moving a little slow. We are going through Lifeline Children’s Services, a Christian adoption agency here in Birmingham (I’m not sure if they have an office in Montgomery) and have been pleased with the process so far. Back in January we didn’t know where we would be adopting from. Except that it would be international. We have felt God calling us to international adoption for a long time. We started narrowing it down by first looking at the countries Lifeline works with. Next, we crossed off all the ones we didn’t meet age or marriage requirements for. My husband and I are both under 30 and have been married for five years. We started sensing that God was leading us to a country in Latin America. Having gone on several mission trips to this area our hearts already have a special place for these people. After narrowing it down we were eligible for either Peru or Colombia. Our biological daughter is only 10 months right now and we plan to keep the birth order. So we decided on Colombia since because of our age we are eligible for the youngest children (0-35 months). We expectantly look forward to meeting our child sometime in the next year!
The best advice I can give you in deciding where to adopt from is first prayer and second deciding on an agency. Your agency will have a list of countries that they work with and fact on each one. They all vary as far as: the average age of the child, time in country, and length of process. I look forward to seeing how God uses you in the adoption process. I’ll be praying for y’all.
We started out as domestic–someone we knew. We then decided to go the foster care route when that adoption failed (mom decided to parent 2 wks before delivery). We tried for years this way but got nowhere. Out of the blue, the uncle of the baby we could only love from afar called because he and his GF were pregnant. She had her tubes tied and still became pregnant. God is great. I truly believe that our little Logan was a great gift from God–delivered to us in a not-so-conventional way. We are hoping to adopt again soon–come on baby Palmer #2!!!! :):);)
Good luck on your adoption journey! I write this as I snuggle with my 8 week old son who my husband and I adopted from a private agency in Utah. We chose Utah as it is a state with short waiting periods and some of the best adoption laws, where the birth mother can relinquish anytime after 24 hours. My husband and I were able to be in the delivery room and welcome our son into the world with his beautiful birth mother. I will never forget the experience and I thank God every day for our miracle baby and the joy that he has brought into our lives. We cannot wait to adopt again!
First of all, yeah! The world needs more people to step up and step out in faith and adopt! My heart breaks for so many children all over the world. My husband and I chose to adopt twice from China. Why China? It just felt right, so we dove in. Now, 6 years later, I have completely fallen in love with China and know it was the place our hearts were all along. Blessings in your journey, wherever it may take you.
I’m an adoptive Mama with two darling children from China. Like many of the comments the story is long and winding and we just followed the path that God had for us. Every time we deviated a major heartache and roadblock was in store for us. We were older parents looking to be first time parents – ie many US agencies wouldn’t even list us. We were the poster family for what could go wrong in foster to adopt. We waited a long time on China. Our hearts were set on being parents so we set back and waited and waited and waited just a bit more. We now have a beautiful 3-1/2 yr old daughter (adopted at 7 months) and a handsome, special 8 yr (adopted at 6 1/2) old BOY – I know a boy from China. God has a sense of humor for a Mama that was going to raise two girls. Our son is Deaf – he has blessed our family. Long story short WE didn’t decide. We prayed about it and listened. We were lead to our two children. We are parenting a child with needs we thought we’d never ask for. Enjoy the journey. Listen to your heart. Everyone will have an opinion – trust yourself! You’ve taken many leaps of faith before – this is just another one of those leaps! Good luck!
Oh My! Adoption has blessed our lives more than we could possibly share. We started down the path to adoption, thinking we would adopt internationally (we had done a mission trip to Uganda in 2008). We thought for sure, a needy child from another country was how we would grow our family. (I couldn’t have children due to early menopause at age 27). We researched a gazillion agencies and settled on Bethany Christian Services (bethany.org). After our very first seminar with them, we knew we were to adopt domestically and help a child here in our own country, which for some reason never had crossed our minds. In February of 2010 we were officially on the wait list, and by March we were picked, and by April, we welcomed our baby boy Jadon into this world. I even got to cut the cord! Our birthmom was amazing, and we still have an open adoption relationship with her. Its been so incredibley wonderful. This year we went back on the waitlist, and in May we were selected again. Our fabulous birth parents have been awesome this whole journey, and as it stands, she is scheduled to be induced tomorrow morning! (wed, Sept. 12th). So while you are reading this we are packing up the car, driving 3 hrs south to the hospital to welcome our second son into the world, and start another fabulous relationship with a family who is making an amazingly hard, sacrificial decision, and blessing us with baby number 2! Now that we have adopted, and done so domestically, we see the amazing need for adoptive families here in our own back yard. That said, there is still a change a uganda kiddo will enter our home one day! 🙂 Praying blessing, peace, and God’s hand on you both as you walk this journey. And if there is a Bethany agency in your area, we highly recommend them. They have been wonderful! God Bless!
We adopted our beautiful daughter who is now 11 after years of unexplained secondary infertility. I was in the same boat that you were .There are so many children who need a forever home. What we did was contact a local adoption agency and went to a info night. We knew that international adoption was for us. We had a short list of wants. Shortest wait and youngest that we could get the child. We requested an infant to 2 years old. Then trusted that God would lead the right child to us. Our wait was not that long. It took a total of 10 month from the time we turned in our application to being matched. We were told it could be a year or longer to be matched. Our daughter is the light of our family. We adopted from South Korea . She was matched with us at 2 months and arrived in my arms just shy of 7 months old. We liked that our agency had all the steps planned out and we knew what was to come next in each step. There were no surprises except when we would be matched. 🙂 We also liked that the program had been in place for years. So there was no questions of the program would close while we were waiting. It was the best thing we ever did. 🙂 I wish you luck and happiness on your journey to your perfect child.
So many beautiful collisions in this life, Layla ~ God Bless you both on your journey to grow your family. And what ever lucky little one finds his or her way to The Lettered Cottage, they are already loved and will find a whole new world of love, too.
xo Heidi
I have been wondering what was happening in your adoption process! I’m so excited for you guys and can’t wait to follow along as you find your little one!
Thank you for sharing Peter’s story. My husband and I attended the Master’s College and we adopted two children from Uganda! We love hearing great stories that connect with our own experience.
Several years into our marriage my husband and I decided that we were going to adopt but we were not yet ready to begin that process, we just new it would be down the road one day and from somewhere. Several years later we had a biological child and after that we decided we were going to pursue adoption but we didn’t know from where. We ran into some friends that were in the process of adopting from Uganda and it peaked my curiosity. I began reading about Uganda, researching it, learning about the invisible children in Uganda, the LRA, the poverty, the starvation, etc. As my husband and I prayed, we felt the Lord had put it on our hearts to adopt from Uganda. We started the process to adopt 2 children, 2 years later and one more biological child later, we brought home a 2 year old and a 4 1/2 year old. They have now been home over 4 years and we have been greatly blessed. We are thrilled to have a family that God uniquely put together. Going from 1 child to 4 within 6 months was a crazy, crazy, journey but God has richly blessed us!
When i was 27 i adopted the daughter G-D meant for me to have …. She blessed my life beyond belief and has brought me nothing but joy….. She has also given me 4 , 4! , awesome grandchildren ….. Adoption gave me a family, and I couldnt be more blessed ….
My husband and I have 4 biological children: 14, 12, 6, and 5. He is an active duty Marine and that leaves me to parent as a single Mom a lot. We counted our blessings to have such amazing children, but were definitely a “complete” family . Last summer, our church youth were going on a mission trip to the Philippines to work in an orphanage. My daughter and I signed up to go. We saw it as a great way to share God’s love, but my husband and I also hoped that seeing how good, we as Americans, have it, our daughter could see that she should be thankful for what she had and knock out the complaining or feeling of entitlements that many kids today have before it really started. I was going as a chaperone, and more honestly, to help my daughter with some of the more difficult things she might see… orphans, extreme poverty, illnesses, etc. It was very clear by the end of our time there, that God’s plans were much bigger that just a 10 day trip. Simply knowing that there are orphans in the world and praying for them, pales in comparison when you look into their eyes and know their names. Sharing His love with ” the least of these” is our hearts desire, and we are now awaiting dossier approval and our referral for a new child or children that God has already picked to become part of our family. I pray that your heart will go where God is leading you, and that your story will be one that inspires others. There is a video online called ”
Indifference” by Eric Ludy, and on days when i feel like maybe I am taking on more that I can handle, it helps to to see things more clearly, and reminds me that NO, this is right were we are supposed to be! Good luck to you, I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!
Hi Layla-
We’ve chatted before on adoption issues. In fact the post I wrote about you can still be found at: http://konuchfamily.blogspot.com
Also, at this link, it describes part of our adoption deciding process: http://konuchfamily.blogspot.com/2009/07/magazine-is-mine-do-they-have-copies-in.html
When we started our process, we were open to any child, any where. We didn’t need a newborn experience, and were looking at toddlers to 5 years. When we found our daughter in China, she was 4, by the time we got her home she was 5.
I will tell you this, we have been very, very blessed. She has fit into our lives perfectly, as if her head was touched by the hand of God. There have been no attachment or “older child” issues. I know this is not the case for everyone, but for us it has been wonderful.
I am excited for you and Kevin. Try to remain open. If you read our adoption blog from the beginning, you can see that we actually thought we were going to adopt from different areas of the world. China was originally not even on our radar screen. But that is where God sent us, and we all feel incredibly blessed! Love, Donna K.
I came over from Funky Junk to read this post. I haven’t read all of the comments (Wow! you got some wonderful encouragement), so I don’t know if you’ve had comments from those who are adopted. I assume your Dad had wonderful adoptive parents. I did too. Adoptions are more open now than they were when I was a child, so I have no idea who my biological parents are, but I am sure they could never have been as wonderful as the two people I consider parents. My biological sister was adopted with me (the orphanage wouldn’t allow us to be separated). I was 3 years old, and for 60 years, I’ve counted my blessings that God found the perfect parents for me and my sister. It is so easy for a biological parent to take their children for granted. I don’t think an adoptive parent ever takes their child for granted. An adoptive parent not only holds a heart full of love, but a heart full of gratitude. I didn’t intend to go on this long, but I do want you to know that I was blessed by adoption, and after reading your post, I know that any child you and your husband adopt will also be blessed by adoption. Wishing you the best! laurie
I am the adopted child. I was adopted at birth. I feel grateful everyday for the parents I had and all that they gave me. I don’t really feel adopted. My parents are my parents and I belong to them. However it happened that those two were chosen to be my parents….I don’t know but it was perfect. It will happen for you too. It is meant to be. I was adopted through the Methodist Mission Home in San Antonio Tx which is still an active adoption agency. The Gladney Center in Fort Worth Tx is also awesome. I have friends who adopted by first fostering newborns removed from their parents but eventually rights were terminated and they were allowed to adopt. No matter what route you take, you’ll be blessed with a child who just needs to be loved and taken care of and it will be all you dreamed about. Much luck.
We are in the process of pre-adoptive placement. WE are adopting a 12 year old girl out of the foster care system in VA. This was a no brainer. we would not have to travel to meet someone. (we have a family at home already) and the state of VA gives a grant to all families adopting special needs children and older children from the Foster Care System. We sat back, got approved, (this is harder than you think) and PRAYED. God showed us that we needed to open our original parameters from 0-5 all the way up to 0-18. within one year we are new parents. ! We now have our two 21 year olds, our kindergartner and NOW we have a beautiful TWEEN! 🙂 easy. hard. scary. terrific. FAITH filled adventure! if you have more questions contact me! 🙂 I would love to share our journey with you!
I’m glad that your heart is open to adoption. But you should know that especially international adoption is wrought with corruption, mostly in the form of bribery, and especially bribery to birth parents. Before you adopt, I believe it’s important to read some of the adult adoptee blogs out there. A simple google search will bring you to a different world and a different perspective. I am an adoptive father and a foster father of a total of five children. Our story has been very hard, but also wonderful. But you should know that a very large portion of international adoption is about supplying eager families in the united states with babies from third world countries. Documents can be forged, babies taken, birth moms bribed. It is far from uncommon. It is common.
Before you adopt you should read “Finding Fernanda”. It is eye opening.
I love you guys! I love your heart for photography, beauty (interior design/decorating), and adoption! My DH and I are 1 year and 9 months into our adoption, and are eagerly anticipating being matched…let’s just say, sooner, rather than later:) Blessings to you both!
We are just getting ready to finalize our 3rd adoption. We choose to foster/adopt. We looked at several different options and had started to work with an agency for international adoption but it just didn’t feel right. After much prayer, we agreed that we wanted to help children right in our own community that needed loving homes. Foster to adopt is very difficult as other previous post have mentioned. We adopted our boys 4 years ago and 3years ago their sister was born and she was placed with us returned to the parents for 4 months but then came back and is a month away from her adoption. We have been blessed beyond words with these children and wish you luck in your journey.
We have 3 biological children and one we adopted from China. When we decided to adopt, we researched all our options, and just kept going back to China. We were open to anything, but everytime we read something or we felt like we were being pulled in that direction.
My advice is to do the research, find the options you qualify for, can afford, and then see which one keeps pulling you in.
Wow, this was an encouraging post for me, as an adoptive mom. It is wonderful to hear of others willing to take a little one into their home and call him/her their own.
We chose to adopt internationally because we feel like America has the most to offer an individual as far as a future goes.
As Christians, we wanted to choose a country where the gospel was not prevalant. We chose our adoption agency first, Dillon International, (a reputable agency is a must) and then chose from the countries they were working with.
In the end, we believe it was God’s sovereignty that led us to India and ultimately, to our little boy.
Adoption is an amazing experience and I so wish more would get to experience it.
And by the way, we have since started an adoption ministry that offers grants to families going through the process. You can read more about that here: http://www.sparrowministries.com
God bless you on your journey!
Sara
This is so exciting! You are about to begin the adventure of a lifetime, and I hope and pray that God will bless you greatly! We have three biological sons, and then adopted our daughter when our youngest son was 10. It was definitely the hardest, yet best thing that we’ve ever done.
I would encourage you to pray for clarity and then trust God to show you the direction that you should go. In our case, he gave us a heart for southeast Asia at least 10 years before we actually adopted. He did so by opening our eyes to the child trafficking that happens in that area of the world, and the thought just broke our hearts. We ended up going to Vietnam, because at the time, our local adoption agency had a program there, and an adoption only took a few months to complete. Still, it wasn’t easy, but our beautiful daughter is now 12 years old, and we thank God for her every day.
I would also encourage you to consider adopting a child that doesn’t have other parents waiting in line for them, because so many children (143 million) go to bed every night with no one to tuck them is or read them a bedtime story or comfort them if they wake up in the middle of the night, scared. Just make the most of this wonderful opportunity!
I have never adopted a child: I’m speaking from the perspective of someone that is on an adoption journey via the “sidelines” – my in-laws are in the process of an international adoption.
What I have learned from their experience? Adoption is NOT for the faint at heart!! Another important lesson: God will meet every need possible in His timing!
The reason I feel led to share what little I know about adopting with you is because your post landed in my inbox the exact same day that my in-laws received their first travel date. They started their adoption journey a little over a year ago. They were “paper work pregnant” for a LONG time. They waited for what seemed like an eternity just to find out when they could travel the 1st of 3 required trips. I think it’s amazing that their travel date (that really should have occurred weeks ago) was the same day as your request for everyone to share “how do you know where” adoption info…
My in-laws have 2 biological children – they will be adopting a special needs child. God calls special people to adopt a child that has special needs. The organization that advocates for these children is Reese’s Rainbow. Please visit their website if you want to prayerfully explore this type of adoption.
We had three bio kids and then God called us to adopt. We just knew in our hearts that our son was in Africa. We researched programs for adoption in Africa and Ethiopia was the program that we felt best fit our desires.
I think the best way to determine where from is to explore all your options… foster to adopt, private infant adoption, african american infant adoption, international adoption (ethiopia, uganda, russia, haiti).
I know you will choose what is right and meant for your family!! Email me if you ever have any questions!!
Christy
Hi Layla! What an awesome post to read! We are an adoptive family – our two 2 year olds are adopted. They are four months apart in age and we brought them into our family when they were 9 weeks and 9 months old. We have seven children total, and have such passion for adoption, and love to talk to others about it. Here our some things I’ve written on adoption over at my blog:
My Adoption Page: http://thescarletpaisley.blogspot.com/p/adoption.html
Adoption Posts (since I switched over to my new blog last winter…): http://thescarletpaisley.blogspot.com/search/label/adoption
We’ve done two different types of adoptions: one word-of-mouth adoption (tell everyone you know that you want to adopt, then hope someone knows someone! and someone did!) then one foster-adoption… God specifically lead us to these kinds of adoptions when the time came – they were situations we never saw ourselves in, but are so thankful for God’s leading and faithfulness! God Bless you as you take this step. ~ Amanda
Well, I have not adopted a child, but I am the child who was adopted.
It’s funny how your children are already pre-desitined to be yours and have a way of finding you, even if you do not carry them in your tummy. My adoptive parents tried for years to have a baby and were unable, they put out the word to our huge family (this was back in ’86) and somehow my mom’s cousin’s husband (attorney) had a client who owned a business who had an employee with a daughter who was giving her daughter up for adoption. That was ME!!!! In the weird world of things, I was desitined to be my parents child and I can only think that God and desitny had every thing to do with how I ended up in the arms of my mom and dad.
At the age of 24, I found my birthmother, I had a closed adoption, and she and I along with a half sister who is a year younger than me, have all formed an amazing bond. She has been an awesome addition to my life and has given me a whole new world of enlightenment and what it means to be a selfless, whole, giving kind of person.
I would never change the way I was brought to my family, and in many ways it has been the greatest gift in my life to say I was able to have such an amazing family (adoptive and birth family) to share my life with. My adoptive mom is one of my best friends and knows that she is nothing less that a true mother and I was meant to be hers, no matter how I was delivered to her arms.
Good luck and many blessings to you on your travels of finding your little one. Some journeys are longer and broader than others,
=)
Megan
How beautiful that so many responded with messages of hope and courage. I am posting to share with you a friend’s blog. They’re adopting a son from Uganda and she’s sharing her experience:
http://sequinstocheerios.blogspot.com/
I’m sure that you have more than enough to read, but her words are so beautifully crafted and you can really see into her heart.
All of the best to you as you begin your journey.