Me: Guess what?
You: Chicken butt.
Me: No, really, guess what?
You: I give up. What?
Me: I haven’t seen my Mr. in almost two months.
You: Holy guacamole! Where’s he been?
Me: Rock n’ rollin’.
You: But I thought you were afraid of being alone at night?
Me: Oh yeah, I’m a panicker for sure. I just sorta took a great big breath when he left, and always made sure the TV was always on Disney or HGTV. (a.k.a. my two favorite channels that don’t ever show scary movie trailers.)
——————————————————————————————————-
He’s coming home today, and I cannot wait to finally e x h a l e………..
(And sleep with the all the lights off again.)
The house he’s coming home to is a little different than the one he left though.
On March 31st I had to say goodbye to our cat, Mr. Bean…
It was absolutely heartwrenching.
The two of us had spent a lot of time going back and forth to the vet during March. He stopped eating, and he was dropping weight like crazy. The first time around, they pulled one of his teeth (they said it was infected) and hooked him up to IV to get him rehydrated. The second time around, they hooked him up to another IV, did an ultrasound, and put him on three different medications. The prognosis wasn’t good, but he did show signs of improvement after a few days, so I took him home and watched YouTube videos about how to give cats pills. Three times a day, for the next week, I straddled his bath towel-wrapped body, nervously pryed his jaws apart and forced multi-colored pills inside his (growling) mouth. It was awful. For him, more than me, I’m sure. Eventually, I got him to eat a teeny tiny bit of soft cat food, but just when I thought he might be getting better, he took a major turn for the worse.
He was a shell of a cat the day I called his Dr. with what turned out to be the final update of his condition.
“You’ve done everything you could“, she replied, “It’s time to say goodbye.”
My knees went weak and I felt a huge lump form in my throat. I was afraid to talk because I didn’t want to open the floodgates, but I think she picked up on it because she did most of the talking after that. I listened to her explain the process, and our options, and just tried with all my might not to sob.
The next few days were pretty rough, especially since Kev was gone, but I know Bean was in a lot of pain and I absolutely hated seeing him like that.
He was an amazing and beautiful cat, and we’ll all miss him very much…
…especially the mama that rescued him at a grocery store…13 years ago.
PS- I published this post by Bean not that long ago, and I’ll always smile when I think about all the crazy places he used to sleep.
Hi Layla,
I was in tears reading this. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know what it’s like to say goodbye to such a loved member of the family. I am however, happy that your hubby is back.
That´s so sad. I know what are you talking about. It was so sad to me when my cat, Toti, die five years ago… My cat was very sick, but his got recovered. Then, some weeks later, was poisoned, and weak he was, passed away.
I got choked up when I read this post…I went through the same thing with my kitty several years ago and it is heart breaking, just thinking about him tears me up! I love having my fur babies but it pains me to know I will have to go through that again some day.
i’m so very sorry to hear about your kitty. it’s so hard to say goodbye to a member of our family. just know that mr. bean’s looking down on you. enjoy your reunion with your man!
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how that feels. I’m glad your hubby is coming home soon though!
p.s. you haven’t changed a bit in 13 years!
Dear Layla,
I’m so sorry for the loss of Mr. Bean. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is. I’ll be praying for your comfort. You gave him such love… Love he never would have experienced if you hadn’t rescued him!
On another note, glad Kevin will be home with you tonight!
Sincerely,
Erin
Birmingham, AL
I’m so sorry about losing your Bean….losing a family member is so hard! Happy to hear that Kevin is coming home, though! Enjoy his homecoming and your memories!!
Layla and Kevin,
I can barely see for the tears. So sorry for the loss of Mr. Bean. I lost my own baby, 13 year old Tia, a few weeks back. She had congestive heart failure and I finally had to make that hard decision after a bad night of her struggling to breath. The next morning, she refused her medication, which the vet said was her saying it was time. It was still difficult. Even though I know she had a great life, it was so hard to let her go, but she literally just floated away in my arms with the help of my wonderful vet. I hope you had a peaceful experience as well. Your cat angel and my dog angel will see each other in Heaven.
oh no. what a hard month you had. losing a pet is very difficult, i still tear up over my dog who passed away 6 years ago. animals hold a special place in our hearts and are such a comfort, especially when our dear ones are far away. i will always remember the pic of your cat and dog napping/sunning themselves on the bed from when you first posted it awhile back. such precious photos to remember him by. i am very sorry for your loss. hope you find yourself back in your husband’s loving arms at this time. 🙂
we had to say “sleep well, dear friend” to Bitty, twice. Each one lived 17 years and each one carved such a deep groove in our hearts. I was able to be there and hold each as they drifted away to a peaceful, painless place of sunshine and soft places to curl up and sleep. I’m so glad for you that Kevin will be home to hold you as you drift to sleep tonight…thinking of your sweet kitty.
I’m so sorry, Layla and Kevin. It is so hard to say goodbye to our faithful, sweet furry ones. Hugs!
Oh my gosh…I am so sorry! People think us animal lovers are CRAZY, and don’t understand how we can love a pet as much as we love humans, but I think it’s one of the greatest loves a person can experience. At least you spent 13 wonderful years with him…:-(
I feel so BAD! Kevin gone so-o-o-o long and you lost your kitty, too. 🙁 Too much sadness. Hope things look up when Kevin gets home.
my hubby just got home from being gone 2 weeks, it’s tough when your all alone, i am not afraid but i just get bored and lonely!
so sorry about your cat, i know how i would feel if i lost my dog! it was the right thing to do if they are suffering but the pain is still there and you look for them everywhere. blessings.
I’m so sorry for your loss Layla and Kevin. I lost my youngest kitty in the beginning of March this year. It was sudden and unexpected and I had no clue how to deal with it. I think she may have had a heart attack or stroke. All I can say is that your pets are the closest thing you have to children, and you treat them and love them as you would children, and it is painful to lose them. Just never forget the happy times you had with Mr. Bean and know that he is waiting for you in heaven. 🙂 Love to you both.
Layla, I am so sorry to read about your loss. It’s always hard to lose a good friend — and harder when you’re alone.
Layla, I’m so sorry to hear about Mr. Bean. From the pics he looks very happy and loved. Hopefully that is exactly how you’ll fondly remember him!
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I lost my own cat only four months ago and I am still not over it. He was only four years old and I loved him with all my hear. Losing a pet can be just as painful as losing a child and my thoughts go out to you.
Kevin and Layla,
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. From reading this post, I can tell he was loved, will be missed and definately part of your family. Alll the best to you both and Max during this difficult time.
Layla I’m so sorry. He was a beautiful boy. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Warmly, ~Melissa
I’m so sorry about Bean and that Kevin was gone. I lost the kitty of my childhood a few years ago – it’s just plain hard.
Losing a pet is the worst. I can’t even think of what to say that could make you feel better, because I’ve been there and it still hurts to think about it. My two year old cat got very sick almost 3 years ago and he didn’t make it. We also have his littermate, which made it 10x harder to watch him experience loss too. Their 5th birthday is next week and it’s always such a bittersweet day.
13 years is a long life and I imagine he lived a great one with you 🙂
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Oh my heart goes out to you. We have a senile arthritic diabetic cat who is 11 years old and as crazy as she is I would still be so sad if she ever passes away. She has a double name Kitty Lynn very appropriate b/c I picture her as an overweight sorority girl. Horrible I know. Anyways I am so sorry and I will be thinking about you!!
You are a great mom to take such good care of Mr. Bean
I cried after reading this post, Mr. Bean had a wonderful life because of you. I’m off to give our 11 year old Bean a hug.
I smiled reading your post bc I am so glad to know I am not the only one who HATES being home alone at night- I do the same thing! lights, happy tv etc!! LOL!! So sorry for your loss of Mr. Bean 🙁 our 4 legged friends have special places in our hearts!! love your blog! 🙂
Oh, dear. Now you’ve got me all teary-eyed about Mr. Bean. 🙁 I have always had cats and never had to put one down, they’d usually become outdoor cats and somehow run away. LOL. One time when I was in highschool my beloved cat got hit by a car on a farily major rode and I found out right before school. I took the morning off, my dad went and got her and buried her. I always loved seeing the pics of Mr. Bean and my fav is the one of your heads together. 🙂
I cried reading this. I have two cats and I cant imagine losing them. I feel for you….my thoughts are with you are yours
Layla…I try to come by here everyday and of all days I finally get to visit I can so relate to this post…First of all I am so sorry for you loss I feel for you…In the past fews days we have been going some of the same stuff with our cat…her name is Spitty Spat…We took her to the vet and found out not only does she have cancer but she now is fighting what the Vet thinks is a kidney infection caused by inflammation…which maybe due to the cancer growths near her kidneys…We are giving her IVs daily and meds…Due to her age she may not be able to hold out long she is 18 years old….but the Dr. did tell us he has seen cats pull through with a good quaility of life still left but we need to get this kidney thing cleared up…she has lost some weight and has been limping around since one leg is being affected by this infection…He told us all we can do is give her the antibiotics,pain meds. laxative and daily IVs and see how it goes…I have been in tears about it…We are hoping for the best and praying for strength in the situation and whatever outcome it will bring…We have been very blessed having her in our lives just as I know Mr. Bean was a blessing to you guys and I know You were a blessing to him…Many hugs…Cookie
So sorry about Mr. Bean.
If I remember correctly, this is the cat you had that hated noise, new experiences, etc.? Reminds me of my cat Jinxie~ may she rest in peace. I STILL miss her.
Sorry for your loss. Blessings 🙂
I am so very sorry for your loss. I went down that road with our first puppy-dog, she got sick and giving her pills and having her continue to decline. It was so very painful to watch. As I was preparing the car to take her to the vet to have her put down, she died in our bed. My husband, too, was out of town. Such joy gone. Hugs to you and to your husband who comes home to a house forever changed…..
joan
I feel you on both fronts. My husband came home from Afghanistan in March after being gone a year. I’ve also had to say goodbye to a beloved kitten (I always call them kittens, no matter how old). I know how painful that is 🙁 I’m really sorry.
Layla, So sorry to hear about Bean, such a cutie! My cat Topsy is 17 years old and I can’t imagine life without her, she looks almost exactly like Bean. They do bring us so much joy, I bet your doggy is gonna miss Bean too.
Sorry you had to go thru that without Kevin. Take care.
xx
Sandra
Layla, I am so sorry for your loss. Joe and I got a cat when we were newlyweds, and I was so in love with him I longed to be a “stay-at-home pet owner.” He was such a special part of our family, and even several years after his disappearance I still have dreams occasionally that he comes home again. Saying a special prayer for your comfort. Those furry babies are precious!
Aww Layla, I’m so sorry! We had to put the last of my childhood cats to sleep a couple summers ago and it was awful. I’d never done it before, but it was her time. Broke my heart!
On a lighter note, I do the exact same thing when my husband’s out of town – I sleep with lots of lights on and HGTV going. I feel like it keeps me company, and BONUS – no scary movie trailers. A couple of years ago I was staying at my BFF’s apartment that she’d just moved out of, waiting for my apartment to be ready. I fell asleep watching tv and woke up during a trailer for The Exorcism of Emily Rose! OMG – the empty apartment was creepy enough, then you add that trailer that looks all happy go lucky until they do the “this is an actual recording of Emily Rose after she was possessed” and the devil voice comes on! I’m pretty sure I didn’t sleep the rest of the night. Scarred me for life!
So glad Kevin’s home now! 🙂
THANK YOU! I feel normal again! That is after reading this “You: But I thought you were afraid of being alone at night?
Me: Oh yeah, I’m a panicker for sure. I just sorta took a great big breath when he left, and always made sure the TV was always on Disney or HGTV. (a.k.a. my two favorite channels that don’t ever show scary movie trailers.)”
I thought I was the only one who does all this and who has all the lights on when the hubby is away.
Thank you!!!! 🙂
Mira
A tear came to my eye when reading about Mr. Bean. I have four fuzzy feline friends and don’t know how I will react when we lose one of them. Two of my childhood pets died, but not when I was living in the same household, so I didn’t have the impact of being with them every day and then them not being there. Glad your hubby is home for you to settle in and feel safe again.
I’ve been “stalking” your blog for a while now. I ADORE your talent and wit – but am so saddened by your recent loss. I buried my maltese 12 year old puppy almost 9 years ago – and still remember the fresh, raw pain very well. Time really does heal all wounds – but sometimes we just want time to pass a little faster ;).
I’m so sorry. You had such a beautiful kitty and the photos are stirring. I hope that you feel better.
Layla … am so sorry to read about your loss. I too had to say good-bye to my dear friend of 13 years last week … my Dog. I am devastated and so sad. He was such a good friend … the best dog EVER !!! Everyone who met him loved him … kids, big scary men, little old ladies … he won everyone over. I miss him terribly. If only our pets could live longer … we were lucky we had 13 years together but when one is so special it is is not long enough. I hope your pain eases soon.
so sorry
I am so sorry! I know how hard it is to have to say goodbye to a pet who was more like a child! I got a kitten for my 6th birthday. She was my baby. We grew up together. She came to college with me. Then on my 23rd birthday, I had to hand her over to my parents to take home to put her down because she was also not eating, drastically losing weight and I just knew it was time. That was such a rough day. I had to go student teach that morning and was a total wreck. And for weeks would come home and expect her to come great me. I still have a picture of her on my nightstand, 5 yrs later. Thinking of you and happy Kevin is now home for you!
Awww. So sorry to read of Mr. Bean. I just lost my English Springer Spaniel Molly last Wednesday night and I too am devasted. It was unexpected. Thought she had a flair up with her arthritis. Took her to the Vet who also said she had Stage I kidney failure. Should have at least 5 more months with her. But she only lasted a few more days, she was at home. Our poor babies. We must think of all the joy and love that they gave to us. So sad.
We bought a cottage on the Lake recently and I have been inspired by your creativeness. Hoped to bring Molly to the cottage soon. Thank God for that place. It’s been keeping my mind of things and keeping me busy. Thanks for your Blog and such great ideas. You are very talented and are help keeping my mind occupied!!! Hope you and Kev are doing well! Looking forward to your next endeavor!!!
I’m so sorry to hear about Bean – I’m sure it was so much harder going through it alone. With my husband deploying soon and a cat that’s about to turn 19 and a dog that’s almost 8, I’ve had major talks with both of them telling them that they’d better stay healthy at least until he gets home…
Layla, I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet Bean. Your post brought fresh tears. We lost our doxie, Niski in Dec. and I miss her so much. My heart breaks for you. ::hug::
Sadly, I haven’t been able to keep up with all of your posts. The new, well now 10 month, baby is happily taking all my time.
But… I wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your baby. We had to put our Meow Meow down last September, on our anniversary of all days. He was a rescued cat like yours (someone actually threw him away!!!), and I tried everything to keep him alive. I so wanted to have him die naturally in our home, but he just became too weak. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. So, I completely get how devasted you were and I’m so sorry Kevin wasn’t there with you.
On a happier? note, I was cracking up reading how you hate to be home alone and you sleep with all the lights on. Girl, THAT’S ME! Everyone thinks I’m nuts, but I just get so scared. Unfortunately, though, I think I”ve passed it on to my 11 year old son.
Anywhoo… I’m still waiting for you guys to get that TV show… I just see one in your future! (Remember I’m the cuckoo one who thinks she is psychic! 🙂
Dearest Layla, my heart goes out to you on your loss of Mr. Bean. We have a 17 yr old guy and I know that day is coming… it’s never easy but it sounds like he was well loved while he was with you. If you’re so inclined, get a copy of Cynthia Rylant’s book, “CAT HEAVEN.” It’s beautifully illustrated and has a sweet message that I hope will comfort you.
Hugs.
ginny
Aww, Layla, I’m so sorry about Bean! We had a scare with our little bunny on Wednesday (nerve damage, apparently?) but right now it looks like she’s actually getting better. Still not sure how long we’ll have, so we’re treasuring the snuggles and wiggly bunny nose. Sending hugs your way. It’s so hard to lose a furbaby.
Hi Layla, I’m sorry about your loss of Mr. Bean. I lost my Angel kitty of 16 years last week, quickly and unexpectedly, so I can really empathize. These wonderful furry friends are with us day in and day out with their crazy antics and unconditional love. It’s so hard to say goodbye, even when we know it’s time.
*hugs*
I understand your journey, having made the same one with my tabby Fluffy, just over two years ago. We were at the vet four times over a month, trying anything to get her to eat, until the ultrasound revealed a mass. We tried surgery, and found cancer that had spread to other organs. I remember bartering with the veterinarian for her life; there had to be something more that could be done. There wasn’t, and I said goodbye.
You loved him, and loved him well, and that’s the part that lasts.