It is curious how this feeling of courage and confidence seems to be seated, not in our brain, but in our middle. This is a good place to feel it- it adds strength to our backbone.”
-Dr. Claire Weekes
A small book landed in my hands when Kevin and I went to Texas for two nights of worship, a few months ago.
It was given to me by a woman whom I had never met. She had seen me stand up the first night, when Pastor Tommy had invited those of us struggling with fear to rise to our feet so that the church could gather around us and pray. She handed it to me with a hug and a smile, and told me I needed to read it.
It was a book that at least 3 people had recommended in the past. A book called “Hope And Help For Your Nerves“, that I just never got around to buying because I’m not a big reader (especially when I’m anxious), and “how could a BOOK help me with MY kind of anxiety?“.
But it DID, and I just couldn’t let one more day go by without telling you about it.
_________________________________________________
I *almost* didn’t go to Texas.
I *almost* didn’t stand up that first night.
I *almost* didn’t read the book even when it landed in my hands. For weeks, it sat on my bedside table…it’s unopened cover, collecting dust with each passing day.
Fear *almost* prevented me from doing all of those (and so many other) things.
_________________________________________________
I realize full recovery may take more time, which is fine, now that I understand what is happening and how to float through it.
I know why I started sitting in the back row at church. I know why I would repeatedly check my pulse.
I know why it sometimes feels like I have a lump in my throat. I know why my stomach sometimes churns. I know why I sometimes feel off-balance.
I know why, in an anxious “season”, I feel like a cork bobbing up and down in a stream at the mercy of every passing current. I know why my body sometimes feels like a Pandora’s Box, full of unpleasant surprises that keep me dreading what *might* appear next. I know why, in those seasons, my horizon is sometimes bound by my front door.
I know why I spent so much (too much) time searching for deep-seated causes.
I could go on and on, but more important than why, I want you to know that all of those (and so many other) issues were no longer mountain-sized issues by the time I got done reading about them. They just sort of “melted back”…as in backwards. Still around, but behind me- not RIGHT in front of me EVERY day. And after four shaky months, I am finally starting to feel like myself again.
I’m not saying my nerves are fully desensitized (they’ve been sensitized for years, so I’ve got some major re-training to do), but I’m back in the front row at church, and I don’t even think about checking my pulse anymore. The lump in my throat still pops up from time time, and my stomach still starts to churn when I’m stressed, but those feelings vanish much quicker than they used to, and they don’t ever escalate into panic now.
The book was written by Dr. Claire Weekes (1903-1990), and her method was so highly regarded that she was nominated for the Nobel Prize for Medicine in 1989.
She got it. Like, really really got it. I underlined something on almost every single page.
If you struggle with (or know someone who struggles with) panic and/or anxiety, please don’t wait for it to land in your hand like I did. Reaching for support doesn’t have to feel like grasping at cotton candy. I’ve worried my way through many anxious seasons throughout the past 10 years, and I have no doubt that book was Heaven-sent.
Kelly Benson
Bless you. You spoke to my soul today. I’m going to get the book on my lunch break. Can’t carry this load another second.
Sharon Herbitter
I’m so glad this has helped you — and that you were brave enough to share your problems — both in Texas and here in your blog. This will surely bless someone!
Maggie
I have had things happen to me also.. Out of nowhere this person turns up and helps..I totally believe in angels. Maybe she was yours..
Jessica
I know that it was no accident I came across this post! You have described me to a T! I had my first panic attack 21 months ago and life hasn’t been the same since. I’m finally, praise God, at a better place now, but it’s still there in some way or another every single day. I have noticed that during the darkest times, the enemy tries to make me feel isolated and alone. It’s so helpful when other Christians open up and share their own struggles. So THANK YOU! I can’t wait to read the book!!
Amanda
So glad I read your post. I’m going to check out this book. Thank you!
Toni
I’m so glad that you’ve found help! An easy book to look for is Love is Letting Go of Fear and I also recommend the website helpguide.org. The website has tabs for specific issues that folks might be dealing with and really good self help and resources on it.
I recently took a class on Mental Health First Aid and it is changing my life. Best wishes for your journey.
SuzG
Oh, how this post brought back memories! I suffered horribly from crippling anxiety for a decade. In addition to the panic attacks and general anxiety, I loaded myself up with shame for not being braver/stronger than my nerves. Dr. Weekes’ books were so enormously helpful! At a time when I was too embarrassed to talk to anyone about my anxiety, I heard her speak (I don’t even remember where – a radio program, I believe) and immediately ordered her books. This was pre-internet 🙂 And I am here today to tell you that I can now stand up before people and speak. I can fly on planes. I can go to the dentist, and to get my hair cut. All these things were agony for me, and I tried so hard for so long to just feel normal and good. If you are struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, as I was, please don’t give up. Please be kind and loving towards yourself, and please rest and trust and know that you will be able to live in deep peace and joy. Dr. Weekes’ advice is good and true. Trust in the process. Love to all who are experiencing this, from one who has and shares your pain.
Ange K.
Thank you Layla! I need to read this book.
lisa
THANK YOU ..
I needed to hear that today.
I get so mad at myself when I let fear of the unknown rule the day !!
I take it to the Lord & then walk away carrying it once again.. UGH !
(take it to the Lord & LEAVE it there !)
Some foods / vitamins are super important to our mental health.. one being magnesium, one way to get it is by taking an Epsom salt bath .
anyway..
blessings to you 🙂
Katie
Thank-you Layla! I believe your message was Heaven sent for me today. I was needing that, and a peace came over me just reading your post. Virtual hugs.
Katie
Carole Wood
Yes I read two of her books when nothing else helped me. Kept re-reading them and practiced floating through situations where the mind controls the body. Highly recommended.
Sarita
I will be getting the book…i am getting ready to have srgery..in allof this “pre” stuff i had to get cardiac clearance for surgery…my heart has a few provlems..nothbg “major” i am 64 …one thing the dr said and i was floored…anxiety dauses your body to create sooooo much adrenaline! that isnt good for your heart!! It puts sooo much stress on your heart. You are young now but as you age this adrenaline. Takes a toll! Just one more reason t o get control of our anxiety. When i started going back to church i HAD to sit back row outside seat “just in case”.! anyway….i wanted to share the heart thibg with you….take care
Birthmother never forget
Maureen
Oh Layla! I am so happy I checked in today! I am about to turn 50 and I had my first panic attack at 13. I have lived with panic and anxiety my entire life. There were seasons that were worse than others, but it was always leering at me from the sidelines ready to take over my every thought. It manifested itself in many ways throughout the years such as agoraphobia and anorexia. Although I have been doing better the last few weeks having gone to CBT therapy and I made the bold decision to start being kinder to myself and dare to dream of the possibilities of an anxiety free life, I am really looking forward to reading this book. Like you, I have an amazingly supportive husband who has been at my side through the entire journey and count my blessing for him each and every day! Prays and hugs to you on your journey. Know that you are not alone 🙂
Jackie F
Hi Layla! I’ve never commented before yesterday & now 2 days in a row! Thanks so much for the recommendation. My sister-in-law suffers from anxiety/panic attacks. I just texted my brother the book info and suggested he just buy it and show up home with the book & a bouquet of flowers. Hope he takes my advice.
Ann
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m encouraged to know that someone who suffers from anxiety can do the beautiful work you do. It gives me hope for myself someday. I WILL read this book as soon as I can obtain it. Blessings!
Robbie Zeller
Oh Layla! You are so wise and your vulnerability is greatly appreciated! Praying for you as you travel through this journey. Glad to hear that you are on the front row 🙂 Love, Robbie
GG
Thank you for sharing. Wow, could this ever be more well-timed? Just downloaded it and will start ASAP because life is not meant to be lived like this!
Anita
I plan to get the book. Thank you for your honesty and your post!!!
Judy
Hi Layla, I suffered with anxiety many years ago and didn’t know what was wrong. It felt like physical problems all the time with no explanation. I was young and felt very lost. A wise person suggested I read that book and Wow! did I feel like I wasn’t crazy anymore- that I had found the reason for what I was experiencing. I ended up seeing a counselor who had also suffered and recovered from anxiety and it helped me alot. I felt that it saved my life. I used breathing techniques and imagery (listening to tapes (back then) that had someone describing a walk on a beautiful path, etc.) to change my thoughts and where they were focused. I don’t usually feel comfortable sharing this much personal info where so many can see it, but I say all this to say that I don’t have those problems any more. I was able to overcome them with some help. Years later, I came to know the Lord and realized that He was the catalyst for the help that I found. I know that He is with you too, so I am sure of your success in overcoming this issue as well. God bless you Layla!
Dharma
Layla – my 18 year old son was diagnosed with Severe Anxiety Disorder a few months ago. He is in CBT now and this book will be a great addition to his audio file. He is also learning meditation and relaxation. It’s like God is giving me him back…one week at a time. Bless you and your journey.
Donna
Thank you Layla! I just ordered the book from Amazon. I doubt I would have ever heard of it if not for your blog. Thank you for sharing your story.
Andrea
This book has been sitting in my bookshelf for quite a while now–you’ve just given me the gentle nudge that I needed to finally read it. So glad it has helped you, hope it continues to get better for you!
Erika
HUGS! This is a great thing for you, friend. So happy you got some Heaven-sent help placed in your hands.
Patty Page
I’m adding this to my book list of helpful books. Thanks!
Kristin S
Fear.
Worry.
Anxiety.
Panic attacks.
All have been a part of my life since I was 3 years old. That’s 41 years. Counseling. Books. It’s still such a journey. I’m going to a river retreat with friends next week. I KNOW I won’t go out in the river out of fear. Fear of looking stupid or not doing something right. Fear of the “what mights…” I hate it. I hate it so much.
Heather
Thank you for sharing. I too suffer from anxiety. I have been carrying around this baggage for my entire life. As a 43 year old woman, I am sometimes ashamed for what I have passed up or lost because of an anxiety attack. I have tried my best to conquer them through counseling and medication, but they never really go away. It’s frustrating, but also comforting to know that I do not fight this battle alone. Thank you for the book recommendation.
Debbie Delosreyes
Oh Layla, It is so brave of you to publicly discuss fear/anxiety. I too have suffered from anxiety at different times since I was a teenager and I just turned 45. I really can feel your struggle and am giving an internet hug from Virginia! I will definitely read the book you suggested. The good news is that anxiety can come and go and it teaches you to listen to your body and stress level. Also, I believe it makes you a more compassionate person. I hope you have a doctor that listens to you and puts your mind at ease. I can tell you have great family support around who will listen. I have learned a couple of things about myself such as I must listen to my body and take care of myself. Not everyone can put the same amount of stress on their plate. I have learned sometimes anxiety is not related to what is going on in my head; such as I feel nervous and don’t know why and it ended up being a job that I was having burnout from. Once I left the job, I felt a lot better. Mostly, I struggle with health worries because I was the child of a very sick parent. Visiting the doctor, etc.. makes me so nervous.. which can be embarrassing. I look forward to the book. In the meantime, I hope you continue to feel better each day and enjoy that little boy of yours soon. Prayers from VA.
Paige
I suffered from panic attacks when I was in college. They overwhelmed my life for a while. I read Peace From Nervous Suffering and it changed my life. Once I embraced the feelings of panic and stopped being afraid of them, they went away. I have not had a panic attack in 25 years. I still worry about things but the physical part is completely gone. I know that you can be free of them.
Ashlea
Oh Layla, isn’t God good? He is with us in the lonely, dark places- and he is there to walk us into freedom too. I will be praying for more and more freedom, and a deep sense of the presence of God. Praying for freedom from anxiety and panic {and the same for all of you lovely ladies that share the same struggle} thankful that God kept pursuing you- and you turned to Him. That takes courage friend. Blessings to you!
Jonni @ Jasper's Cottage
Thank you so much. I suffer from anxiety often too and it’s nice to have some guidance on where to turn for help. jonni
Julia
Thank you for sharing this.
Maryjane
What’s the name of the book?
Maryjane
Oops I just found it 🙂
Annie
Thank you for sharing this. I have been dealing with anxiety and a few panic attacks since my husband died three years ago. I will definitely read this book.
Amy R.
Thanks for sharing this book. I am going to be reading it and hope it helps me too!
Caroline
A huge THANK YOU. I will be ordering this book right now. I have struggled with anxiety and panic–being on the daily brink of suicide for the last decade. All the time I am on a literal minute by minute basis of staying alive. You just want to feel some tiny second of how it used to be, some way out from the constant crushing tension and fear. You look around and think to yourself–most people are not like this, how do they live and function…what is wrong with me, how did I used to live, why am I always like this? It is immobilizing and debilitating, so I completely, utterly, and instantly understand anything and everything you have gone through or are going through. and
I must say sometimes it’s just so doubly..triple-y hard for some of us…as not everyone is so lucky to have people around them who understand or even want to begin to try to understand what a beast this truly is, the constant struggle, the waste of your life ticking away in such painful battle. That is where I am and have been for years, and my heart goes out to anyone like me (and you) and our ability to survive, literally. Your little blog here, and other bloggers give me a little break even if just for a moment to catch my breath and distract me — so I wanted to thank you for that! Distraction and finding something to keep you busy I think is key, if only it was so easy to get started and keep at it!
I am glad that you and others that are so very lucky to have a loving husband and people who support you. I cannot even begin to tell you how hard it is when you have literally the opposite working against you. I have spent most of these years in poverty, constant worry if I will have electricity or will be able to eat. I am a completely different person than I was 10 years ago–so so much worse–in all ways, from my vision, to never even being awake during the daylight, to never even sleeping, to numb and crawling body parts, to ALL SORTS or other problems. One day I hope to see a doctor. I would love to know what is wrong with my neck and eyes, etc. Not being able to see a doctor, as you can imagine is not good for anxiety and panic. Stress is a killer. I wish we didn’t do this to people in our country.
Things hopefully are looking up for my situation, fingers crossed, finally after all these years. Your book suggestion looks perfect right now. I do not subscribe to religion, so I was pleased to see that this was a scientific book rather than mythological. It sounds like it was was a real life-changer for you, so I hope to find lots of helpful information as you did. What a pioneer in science it seems Ms. Weeks was! Thanks again, and kind regards. I hope to get back to you~
~Caroline
Layla
Hello Caroline,
I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. 🙁
I really hope you will pick up a copy of the book. Just reading it has changed SO much for me. I could’ve written a post that went on for DAYS about it. As I read, it felt like she was sitting right there next to me, talking directly to me about my issues, and it was SO validating and therapeutic.
Please do keep in touch. I will be lifting up prayers for you!
Layla
Aubrey
It’s so cool how God gives us help along the way–just the right kind at just the right time. He’s r.e.a.l. Thanks for sharing this.
Amy
I read this book 33 years ago after seeing it in Cosmoplitan magazine, of all places, and it changed my life. I still use the wisdom I gleaned from it to this very day. Glad to know it is still finding its way into the hands who need it.
Kary Ross
I too think I shall check out This book!
We lost our whole home in fire 1 1/2 years ago. You describe me to a T as well. Although I’ve not been a front row church girl ever! I seem to be better with my throat pain as well and my stomach too. But I think I must read your book you recommend and hope to be able to pass it along as well.
Good to hear you are feeling well. You are looking very well. God is good.
Blessings!
Laura Perry
I just found you on Instagram and made my way to you here. I’m so glad that I took the time to do that. I was taken by your photos, they’re just beautiful, and your writing is equally as beautifully expressive. I look forward to reading your post in the future. Thanks for sharing your God given gifts.
☺?
Roxanne
Thank you so much for sharing this, I know someone who really needs this! I’m happy to hear it’s helping you, sending prayers that you feel stronger every day!
Karen Tuffy
also look into The Midwest Center by Lucinda Bassett. Another fantastic program for stress and anxiety…