“Our hearts made room for each other as the world spun around. The birth of an unexpected family that would walk untold miles together, bound forever by the palpable nearness of God, who does not turn away from our sadness and shares the richness of our joy.”
-Shannan Martin, Falling Free
Emotions were pretty loop-de-loopy around here earlier this week. Out-of-this-world highs, uncomfortable lows, and not a whole lot of time for anything in-between. Roller coaster- weeee! Things seem to be leveling out more as the week moves toward the weekend though, and no matter our moods, at the end of each day, Everything in me always whispers, “be thankful for it all“. The blessings, the challenges, the thin-between. They all add up to growth and healing…especially the challenges.
So this Thought-Full Thursday, I am thankful for every curve, plunge and crest…and that my family is bound forever by the palpable nearness of God, who does not turn away from us when we’re struggling, and shares the richness of our out-of-this-world joy. 🙂
PS- I’m reading sweet Shannan’s book right now, and highly recommend it!
Oh Layla,
I wish that things were not so challenging for you. I have enjoyed reading your blog for several years now and have shared in your journey with you. I am an adoptive mom to two boys…one adopted domestically at 3 days and one adopted internationally from Russia at 9 months. I can tell you that they *really* do grow up in the blink of an eye and they are grown and out of the house before you know it. Those crazy times of early childhood are but a blur. It’s hard to recall the specifics of our chaos but I know that they were plentiful. Just keep loving Sonny and praying incessantly. God will get you through. He loves Sonny even more than you do and will work ALL things out for good.
Thank you, friend! But I really do think that challenges help grow us personally and in our relationship with the Lord. And if I squint *reeeeally* hard, challenges help show us that Steevenson is comfortable enough with us to show us *all* his personalities, too. 😉
When Sonny smiles, does that help? He has the best smile ever. Love, patience, calm, and prayers for y’all!
I agree- Sonny’s smiles are so fun! I love absorbing them every day. 🙂
Sweetie, I know you and your husband are up to the task of being new parents! I hope you are not only leaning on other adoptive parents, but will be open to professional advice should you need it to get over the early humps 🙂 You have a beautiful family!
Yes, ma’am! 😀 We’ve been in contact with an adoption counselor at Lifeline (our adoption agency) and she has helped all of us SO much over the past couple of weeks! What a blessing!
Layla, I’m just wanting you to know that you’re not alone. Regardless of whether or not our children are adopted we are all on that roller coaster. Sometimes we are coasting along thinking, “Hey, we’ve finally figured this out!” and the moment that happens it seems like it’s time for the ride to start accelerating and dipping again. I think of my toddler who is learning words lightning fast, but still so frustrated when he can’t communicate something he wants, or worse, can, but the answer is still “no.” I think of my 6 year old who is now a month into first grade in a language immersion school and having his first experience full school days. He comes home exhausted and snapping at every little thing and taking his frustration out on his 4 year old brother.
It’s normal for kids to push at boundaries. I think it’s their way of making sure the boundaries are still there. It’s their way of asking, “Do you see me? Do you hear me? Am I important? How do I fit into this family? Do you love me enough to keep my in line? So keep on praying, keep on loving, and keep on adjusting, because nothing will work forever, at least, nothing has for us! And keep on enjoying the ride!
Layla,
Prayers for your sweet family. As a retired educator I learned that young children, even those that you know their life has not had ups and downs, are trying to understand the world around them. And so when they have changes, it throws them off kilter. A wise counselor once told me that young ones may feel that every day is a new start for them and they are not sure what to expect, especially those children who have had significant life events. Sweet Sonny is figuring it all out and you and Kevin are his grounding force right now – you know that and Sonny will figure that out in Sonny time :).
Welcome to motherhood!! 😉 Highs and lows – and never knowing when they will swing from one to the other – is all part of the wonderful world you are now in. And trust me when you look back on it later (mine are 22 & 20 now) – you won’t wish away any single moment – high or low. Good luck in this changing landscape – I have no doubt you will be (are being) a great Mom!
Moods are always mixed up when Fall is in the air! Thanks for sharing!
Layla, I have followed your blog for quite awhile now; I loved every.single.post. And I was one of the many who prayed for your son to find his way home to you. As a parent of four children (all from my own body), I am drawn to give you encouragement…Each one of my kids (from the same two parents) are as different as night and day and very different from their parents. Which means I have to parent each one differently and that can be challenging. At any moment, I can feel like a failure based on only one child’s needs and the knowledge that I haven’t met them. I have not adopted, so I don’t know what that is like, but I hear you and I feel you. You have entered the world of motherhood, raising another human being, given to you by God for He trusts that you are the mother for him. And this is what I say to my kids every night – I thank God for trusting me to be their mom for the time they live on Earth. The struggles you are sharing … I have those struggles too. You are not alone. We are not alone in this thing called motherhood. Take care! You’re doing good, mama.
In raising 3 hyper boys with school and learning challenges I was once told that kids who really push the boundaries when they are young (and have patient parents) were far less likely to go through a major rebellion in their teen years. The teen years weren’t easy for us but rebellion wasn’t the issue as much as schooling. Through it all maintaining a respect for my kids and their perspectives (and making sure they knew they were loved ) no matter how far off base they were or how much they said or did things that were hurtful, was the single most important factor in paving the way to a good and open relationship now that they are in their 20s. It felt like we would all ways be struggling at times and sometimes it was challenging not to compare them to other kids who seemed to handle life more easily but I clung to the fact that my kids were where they needed to be for them and tried very hard not to push them into being someone they weren’t. Even so I carried a weight of guilt around for years that I was a grossly inadequate mother but then God showed me if I were adequate there wouldn’t be any room for him to show his glory and by focusing on my inadequacy I was missing the chance to see him at work. To walk by faith meant I had to trust him all the way, even when it seemed there was no break in sight. God let me know that this wasn’t punishment for my short comings it was an opportunity to grow in my understanding of him and how to trust. You will look back someday and be so thankful for all you learned and how much better you are as a person precisely because of the hard times. I shudder to think what I would be like today had I not gone through those times and heart aches. It wasn’t an easy road but it was deeply rewarding.
Please know that you are not alone when raising family. You will experience more ‘downs’ in the years ahead – but your joys will outnumber the days when tears are easily shed, & new parenting skills will come full circle. Love, consistency & patience never fails!
I always remind myself how perfect and pristine and sterile my house and life would be without my kids. Yuck, who wants that?
Well, that is true, Annie! 🙂 I don’t think any of us will miss the hours and hours of raging and aggression though. Poor babe almost completely lost his voice this weekend. 🙁