We tweeted a few Instagram photos of us getting fingerprinted for our background checks last week…
We got them done at our local sheriff’s office and I think I must have smiled the whole time we were there.
We (all four of us) also managed to figure out how to get our Adoption Timeline set up last night…
…so if you’d like to check that out- just click on the Adoption tab in the menu bar at the top of our Home page, right here:
We’re hoping to start our home study next week, and I look forward to blogging about that whole process here as well. Oh, and hey, that reminds me- if any adoptive parents out there have any home study-related advice for us and any other “first-timers” reading this, we’d love to hear from you in the comment section below!
For pics and updates in between posts, join us over on Twitter, Facebook and/or Instagram!
We adopted our daughter six years ago, domestically (we are at her birth!). While the timeline seems impossibly long when you are still waiting, one day you will look back on every single milestone along the way – even the homestudy – so foundly because each was a step towards your new son or daughter. I’m lucky to have had one biological child and one adopted child. And I thank God every single day that adoption was part of my journey. It brought me greater joy than I have ever known. You soon will know that joy too! Blessings on your journey!
How wonderful for you both! I have friends who both foster children and have adopted two boys. Their journey has been an amazing one, and it truly takes special people to do this! You are so blessed–best of luck to you that the process is not too drawn out!
Relax, be yourselves and don’t try to make your home or yourselves too perfect (it makes them suspicious, ha ha!). I’m sure you’ll do great…what an exciting journey!
Such an exciting journey for you guys! Praying that all goes amazingly well!
Having gone through the homestudy process about 5 times, I can say it is pretty easy. Don’t worry about cleaning too deeply. (They don’t look in closets or drawers :)) They are mainly making sure the space is safe and adequate to raise kids. I have no doubt you have that covered! 🙂
Basically be prepared to have your life scrutinized inside and out. It is amazing how much they require to adopt a baby/child when there is none in giving birth to a baby. None of the info is difficult, just thorough! Blessings on your journey! It will be one of the most exhilarating experiences you will ever have!
We on on the waiting list, adopting from Ethiopia. My suggestions: relax about the interviews and home tour, just be yourselves – your SW is on your side! For me, it was the paperwork and classes and requirements that were such a struggle to get through. (Seems we had more than most people, but God knows what He’s doing!) I made a gigantic 5 page list with every single thing that had to be done so I felt really good checking them off and seeing how far we had come! Plus it’s handy to show to others in your life so they can understand all you go through. We also made copies of each document before sending them in to our SW or agency just in case anything was lost or there was anything we needed to check on later. Praying that all will go well before you in this exciting journey!!!
Layla, I am so excited for you to start the adoption process! Documenting your timeline/feelings/etc. is so special. Just last night I ran across my journal when I was anticipating my baby, and OH how special it is! I was also touched to see your baptismal photo. I’m so happy to know that you are a believer and that we are sisters.
That’s great that you’re adopting!! My in-laws adopted a little boy a couple years ago. So fun and such a blessing!
congratulations! i adopted from china nearly 3 years ago and it was the best decision of my life! the journey can be long, but so rewarding in the end. document everything and be patient. i have my own timeline including the cost of things along the way on my blog. you may find it helpful. one thing i included in my documentation was all the little ways God provided for me throughout the process so i’d never forget. the times when i would “randomly” meet an adoptive mom when i was out and about and she shared her story with me or when i received some unexpected money that provided for and adoption related expense. it’s so amazing to go back and read how God had his hand on the whole process from beginning to…now. my daughter is now 4 years old and is doing amazingly well. she was on the “special needs” list, so if you have any questions about that let me know. (she has a finger/toe deformity due to abs) enjoy the journey!!
Congrats!! We are working on our 11th adoption and our 9th from China. We are praying to be DTC this month. Things change so fast the road is different every singe time.
Ok so we are about 3/4 of the way through our home study process. I live in CA so I am not sure the difference from state to state.. I was freaked a little bit by the questions they asked, ours felt a little like a counseling session, but I took a breath and worked on it over three days. We are setting up our interview’s right now and I am nervous about that we have a 1 1/2 each of seperate interviews and then a 1 1/2 of a couple interview. (i’ll let you know how it goes). Praying for you both through the process.
The waiting is the hardest part. We adopted our daughter 3 years ago. Everything about her was unexpected, and everything about her was a perfect design for our family.
We have 5 children (4 bio). The adoption process is an emotional pregnancey with your heart going through the labor pains. I urge you to pray for your son or daughter. Maybe even write letters to them once in a while. I would also urge you to pray for your social worker and everyone else involved in the process. We prayed the God would give us (my husband and I) a “like mind” when it came to making choices. You will get so much well intended sent with love free advice, but you and your husband are the ones on this particular path. Let God lead you. OK…I guess that’s some free advice.
We are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. We are currently waiting for a referral and just went on the waiting list a month ago. My advice is just to relax and be yourself during the home study process. Prior to the process, I felt like the social worker would be judging us and everything about our house. This is so NOT the case at all. It is more of a conversation and she brings up good questions that needed to be discussed (e.g. what will be doing to help our child experience diversity since we live in mostly white town; how adopting a child with significant special needs may not be the best route for us because we both need to work full-time). I laughed at myself after the home study because I scrubbed my bathrooms top to bottom and made sure everything was in place. She never used the bathrooms once! Since she is writing your home study report, this process gives her the chance to really get to know you so she can make you come to life, and let others feel like they really know all about you when others read the report. Anyway, do not worry about a thing!! You will be fabulous!
So excited for you guys. We just finished our home study the week before Christmas. We took three times longer than the estimated time but know God wouldn’t have it any other way. Enjoy learning about each other through this process.
I’m so excited for you guys. I’ve been following you for awhile….I actually think I found you when I first read about you wanting to adopt because we were just starting the process. We just came home from China (3 months ago) with our sweet little girl.
When it comes to the Home Study (and the whole process in general) I say just take it one step at a time….don’t look ahead too far or you’ll get overwhelmed.
Hey y’all! I just wanted to tell you that adoption has been on my mind lately I’ve done fertility for wow…going on four years now. I have been following y’all’s blog for years now and just love the spirit you two give off for your love for each other, your family and home! I just know your adoption will be full of love as well! I will be praying for y’all and just know that your not alone in anything! Hugs
Toodles-
Sarah
P.s,
Come by and give me a visit sometime!
Lifeasasteelmagnolia.blogspot.com
So excited for you guys!!!
I love that you are doing this! We are in the very, very beginning stages of our adoption process so it will be fun/helpful/encouraging to follow along and see what’s to come!
Hi Layla!
Welcome to the journey! As a fellow Lifeline-momma, I’m excited to hear about your process. Our social workers have been absolute dreams. At our home visit they walked in, sat down on my orange couch (in the sitting room I had cleaned ever-so-carefully), and said “Ashley, you should relax. I left my white gloves in the car.” Hilarious!
Honestly, my advice to you is this: relax and know that God is in control! The time consuming part of the home study is the parent education. Do not put it off…just tackle it and it will be over. Even though we have been in the adoption process for three and a half years (long story), the parent education instigated a few really cool conversations for my husband and me.
Enjoy your work with Lifeline! I look forward to your Gotcha Day pictures!
Blessings,
Ashley
So excited for you both.
Congratulations! I remember how nervous I was when we completed our home study years ago. I made sure the house was spotless & organized every closet & drawer. The day of our appt. I followed my 3 kids around to make sure they didn’t get a single crumb of food on the ground or a single toy out of place. My husband thought I was crazy, especially since I am a social worker myself. 😉 Like others have said, just relax & be yourself. The home study really is the easy part. It’s the waiting that is torturous! We brought our beautiful daughter home 3 years ago from China.
I didn’t know you all are planning to adopt…guess I need to swing by here more often. How exciting, Layla! You guys are going to be wonderful parents! Praying for peace, joy, and wisdom for you. 🙂
We adopted our youngest daughter from the state department of social services. Originally we thought we would adopt an older child, but after a few temporary foster care situations, we decided perhaps our family was not cut out to handle the problems that came with an older child-mostly due to our youngest at the time’s inability to handle new children in the house.
We said we didn’t think we would proceed with adoption and then we got a call that there was a 3 month old little girl all ready for adoption., At first I was like, no way! Our oldest was 18 and youngest was in 3rd grade.. but after a visit, how could we say no! 🙂 She is now 9 years old and an energetic, social delight. (most of the time= lol) The homestudy was a LOT of paperwork and time.. but the home visits.. super easy! Don’t fret the small things and just enjoy the journey.
Congratulations, you two! I did not know you were adopting…we have one daughter from China, and a son on the way(also from China).
I would echo what everyone else is saying, just to relax. Our social worker has become one of our dearest friends, and they are just there to help you bring your child home!:-)
I have 3 cousins that are adopted and one of those cousins has an adopted daughter, too. If you were to meet our family you could never pick out the ones that are adopted. They are all the same. Love them all. I will say a little prayer for your success. Hang in there.
make a pot of coffee and picture it like you’re talking to a good friend… they WANT to help you adopt! congratulations on your adoption journey! very exciting times… our first was born in Vietnam and is such a blessing to our family. we are very close to canton, mi and our kids were sick when you were here… I would have loved to meet up at ikea and talk adoption over some Swedish meatballs!!
Can I just say that I LOVE that you are sharing your adoption journey on your website!
We are also adopting through Lifeline and hope to begin our home study in the next couple of weeks. So fun to be at the same step in this process as you guys. God bless!
I attached myself to to your site when I moved into my house and you’ve encouraged me so much. Now your adopting and I hope I can give back a little bit. My sons are adopted; the oldest is 22, the younger 18, and we were one of the first open adoptions at the agency we worked with. Very positive for us all though we have some funny stories.
My best advice is that you be yourselves. Let yourselves shine through everything you do because it’s all about you and your little one finding each other. The odds are that a birthmom will pick you because you are the right parents for the baby she carries. Just be yourselves and trust…and of course pray.
Good luck to you both. Let it be a joyous wait!
I love the responses others have shared. I’ll simply add what our adoption agency director told us the day we officially completed our paperwork, which is “CONGRATS, you are now officially pregnant!” Your sweet baby will find you (like our son found us) and, while I know that you will have ebbs and flows of emotions during your journey, the *second* you hold your son/daughter in your arms for the first time, you’ll know that every emotion you experienced was well worth it!
God bless you during this journey!
Thank you for sharing this process so publicly. Your baby will have two rockin parents 😉
Awww, thanks Jenn! 😀
I enjoy reading about your adoption journey. We just had our home study approved a month ago for a domestic infant adoption. I’m finding it hard to wait patiently. We have 2 boys and tonight at prayer time, our 3yr old asked to pray for our baby that’s coming. Children are such a blessing!
Screeeeeaaaaaam!
(That’s a happy scream. A Very happy scream.)
xo
Love you, Essie dear. 😉
I was SO nervous the first time we met with our social worker. In my mind I was picturing the home study visit being like an interview with question upon question that we had to answer correctly. It turns out that the visit was one great big long conversation about our life and hopes and plans for adoption. I sweated for nothing. 🙂
I think the biggest thing to remember is to just be yourself!
(Oh yeah, and I baked a few yummy treats and had them on a giant platter in the middle of the table. All of us stuffing our faces kind of broke the ice at the beginning of the visit.)
😉
P.S. Good luck!!! Although I know you’ll do great.
I haven’t experienced the adoption process first-hand, but some friends of mine adopted two children from Africa last year. (They blogged about it at letloveguide.blogspot.com in case you want to hear their story.) Just from following their process online, I would say to expect the unexpected. Things won’t go as planned. My friends had an incredibly drawn out process. They expected to be overseas for up to 8 weeks and were there nearly a year. Needless to say, it wasn’t what they expected. But through it all, God was faithful and wrote a beautiful story for them and their kids. I’ll be praying for you guys and your sweet little one out there.
My advice is to TRUST. Have faith that this little one is longing for you as much as you are for him/her. I heard SO many stories of these instant adoptions that happened overnight and with no hiccups or bumps in the road. These DO happen. However, our adoption was more like a roller coaster from hell- that ended miraculously and perfectly…. But it was easy to feel frustrated and sad and sometimes hopeless when our adoption process didn’t go as smoothly as I expected and hoped. Our time from beginning until we got our sweet baby was 14 months. There was a lot of disappointment and what felt like rejection along the way. We had TWO failed placements. One of those was a baby we had for two days and then had to return to his mother when she changed her mind. I don’t tell you this to scare you. I tell you this because I never thought something like that could happen, and at the time it was the worst agonizing pain I had ever experienced- I never thought I would heal from that. But when we got our baby, I knew that instant that HE was our baby. He was the baby meant for our family. We went through a lot in the process, but without those hardships and heartbreaks, we never would have found him. And he is the baby I saw in my dreams, the baby who grew in my heart, the baby who’s soul has always been connected to mine. So that is my advice. Trust that God sees the whole picture. He knows the longings of your heart. I hope your adoption is smooth and quick and flawless…. But if there are some bumps in the road, TRUST that there is part of the story God has not yet revealed to you, and that he will bring the baby to you that is meant for you in HIS time.
Love and joy and hope and patience to you both on your amazing journey. Take care of yourself. Nurture yourself. This baby is growing in your heart right now. 🙂
I’m coming out of lurk-ville to encourage you about the home study. My advice is to RELAX!!! I was petrified of the home study, social workers, everything. Absolutely terrified. And it was so anti-climactic. We loved our social worker (which was good because we saw her over and over during the post-placement period) and it was just so easy. I’m not saying you’ll lover your social worker, because I’m sure there are some that are annoying. But it really was no big deal. I cleaned my house like it’s never been cleaned. I washed and ironed my curtains. And the social worker just walked through each room for like 5 seconds. She didn’t care. So do what you need to do to feel prepared, but realize you’re doing it for yourself, not because the social worker expects it.
Thank you, Anna! We LOVE our social worker, so we’re super stoked to get this party started! 😀
I haven’t adopted myself, but a dear friend just recently adopted three boys (her nephews), and even though they were blood relatives, the process took over a year to complete (it was a nightmare!), so the best advice I can give you is *be patient*.
Awe, I love the picture of y’all hanging out with your kitty and dog. So cute! 🙂
Breathe. Remember their job is not to judge but help you prepare. Burn a memory of the feeling of not being in control into your heart, so you can empathize with what your child might be feeling when the day comes they are placed in your (a stranger’s) arms.
Good luck tomorrow with your orientation interview. My heart is bursting with excitement for you and we’ve never even met. Anyone as good at expressing themselves on a blog will be pure gold in person. I’m eager with anticipation for the coming year for you and Kevin.
Sincerely, Me
Good Lord….I need a some !!! in that paragraph! :0)
Wishing you much luck on your journey to adoption!
Hi 🙂
The reality of this process is that even when 100’s of us who have been through it say “don’t stress,” you will…because you want everything to be perfect and you don’t want to leave anything to chance.
When we finally had the date for our SW to come “inspect” our house, I went CRAZY! I stressed over everything…right down to how big the cracks were in between the rocks that separated our driveway from the walkway to the house. I made sure all the towels matched in the bathroom(which is something you all do everyday, but not me!), that my cupboards were organized to perfection, that the house smelled like fresh baked cookies (those were really good cookies.) But the reality was, she just looked around. Suggested some changes (outlet covers) had a cookie and some coffee and went on her way.
Enjoy this time…it’s your nesting. And remember, for the most part, it’s a marathon not a sprint…so don’t forget to breath 🙂
Lisa
Hi!
Firstly, sorry for my bad english… I’m from Argentina and since 5 years ago we have a beautiful and great kid, Tomy.
In our country the laws are very complicated and we had to wait 3 years but when Tomy came was amazing!!!
I will follow your history because is wonderful adopt kids, is something amaizing, thanks for share with us!
God be with you and everything is gonna be great!
Grace
That’s so exciting! Can’t wait to follow along with you guys on this amazing journey! 🙂
Congratulations! I remember when we went through getting fingerprinted……after our homestudy was complete and our USCIS Visa was applied for, we had been fingerprinted 3 different times within a few months! We’ve now been matched with our child and are in the process of bringing him home! God has been faithful throughout the journey! Our SW was good, but she also dropped the ball sometimes. I don’t say this to criticize, but you need to be on the ball and organized with everything! If you don’t know what needs to get done and when or pay attention to the details, they may not finish on time or gloss over important things. Our first homestudy had to be corrected because they incorrectly named my birthplace AND didn’t include the post-adoption visitations. We had to go back and get our organization to fix it before submitting it to the orphanage. So, pay attention!
I have 4 pieces of advice:
1. Try to enjoy the journey! It can be long and frustrating, but it’s also the last time it’ll be just you and your husband as a family of two before your child comes along. Enjoy these moments!
2. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s journey! It may seem that other families have a shorter wait time, are matched faster, go to court faster, etc. It’ll be tempting to think that other families have it “easy”, but you should try to enjoy the journey for you and your husband (refer to #1). 🙂 The journey can make you crazy if you let it!
3. Find other adopting families from the same country or local organization and reach out to them! They’ll be an encouragement during hard times and a lifeline when you’re trying to figure out how to navigate the system once you’ve been matched, etc.
4. The most important one: PRAY!
Good luck with everything, and may God bless your family as it grows!
I’m sending good wishes your way. You must be so excited. Children are such a blessing and I hope your journey to find your new family member is swift. 🙂
Congrats! We have been a waiting family since February 2012 for domestic infant adoption. The paperwork will seem overwhelming and intimidating, but just look at your social worker and agency as your advocate and ally in the process (not as judges) to help you meet the baby meant for you! Our journey to adoption has been long and difficult, and being patient during the wait continues to test us. However, we have already been blessed by adoption through the people we have met and connected with who are in the same shoes. Try to find other waiting parents or adoptive families for support and encouragement. Although our baby is not here yet, we know it is worth it! My prayers go out to you!
Congratulations on the start of the most wonderful journey you cannot even imagine! We just finalized our adoption of 3 on Dec 28th…it was truly a Christmas miracle. Something no one told me but I did out of necessity to keep everything straight; document everything! Document appointments, visits, every thing and any thing. Keep a detailed calendar and copies of all paperwork. I had to testify in a trial to terminate parental rights of our children and I had to recall events that happened months earlier. I was able to use my notes during questioning. It will also be important for the future when our children have questions. We had several social workers through the process and on several occasions my notes helped them.
Every adoption is its own process and you’ll learn a lot long the way. Its a remarkable experience and worth every minute. You’ll have so many new feelings and experiences. It’s the greatest gift God can bestow. And the first time he/she calls you mama…you will melt into tiny pieces! Congratulations!!!
They just wanna make sure you’re not crazy people! I have no doubt when you share about your lives and they see your home, they’ll love you (and may ask for color scheme advice?). Just know any recommendations they give (“You’ll wanna lock up those cabinets”) are suggestions not criticisms. 🙂 Enjoy and be blessed!
Congratulations on getting the process started! SO excited for you guys.