“Before, I wanted to say: “I found love!” But now, I want to say: “I found a person. And he belongs to me and I belong to him.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Y’all! We got the revised copy of our adoption decree on Friday so I can share our baby’s name and photo today!
Our caseworker, Meredith, sent a copy of the decree to my email just before 6pm that day. I was home alone at the time, and never have I ever wanted to hug a person so hard in my life! I went out on the front porch and just smiled at the stars. Kevin got home from church about an hour later and it was SO FUN seeing him for the “first time” again. 😀
A couple of our sweet Connect Group families rushed outside their homes to celebrate with us, and then we went out for a late dinner at our favorite Japanese place. As I sat there, with my puffy, cried-out eyes, dunking deep-fried sushi roll slices in yum-yum sauce, I couldn’t get over how ethereal the whole experience felt. I kept asking our friends, “Did that really just happen? Did I really just see his new name? Am I really awake right now?”.
For three and a half years, I had been visualizing that night. The one where I’m sitting at Miyako Japanese Steak & Sushi, celebrating the 72 pages that say we’re officially a family of three. And then all of a sudden- WHOOSH. I’m there. Sitting at a thickly-lacquered pine table, between Kevin and Juju, and across from Mati, Suzanne and Billy. We’re eating edamame, and pouring soy sauce into tiny, footed trays. We were slurping on salty, chicken broth soup and celebrating the official stamps and signatures that deem our boy legally our son.
It was June of 2013 the first time I saw my son’s face. (Side note: it just occurred to me that “June” was my ‘Word of the Year’ in 2013. I chose it It chose me in December of 2012. Hmm. Very interesting.) I was coming up the stairs when I noticed Kevin sitting at the computer in our bedroom at the end of the hall. Because of how our desk is positioned, I could only see the right side of his face.
Wait. Are those tears? And is he smiling? What on earth is he looking at?
I start to walk faster. “Honey? Are you okay? What’s going on?”.
He doesn’t say a word, he just looks up at me and points to the computer screen in front of him. There, I see this picture:
It was a photo of a child that had just been transferred to the Angel House from the local social services building. His name is Steevenson– spelled like Haitians spell it with three “E”s. After a quick glance up at the menu bar at the top of the screen, I realize Kevin is on Three Angel’s Children’s Relief’s Facebook page. (Three Angels had just accepted our application around that time, so we spent a lot of time scrolling through their past posts and checking their page for updates.)
As we scrolled through the rest of the photos in Steevenson’s online album, I am also moved to tears.
Oh, that baby! So confused and scared. So clearly malnourished. At 18 months, his legs are much too small to support the rest of his weight so he sits frozen atop a steel medical table, his eyeballs the only things that move from photo to precious photo. Oh, that face! So sweet and gorgeous. I was captivated by his kewpie doll features; his button nose and pillowy lips. His big, wide-set eyes…with their ebony corneas. They’re like windows to his tender soul. I can tell he really hopes these new people mean well.
The silence that followed feels tactile. Kevin finally breaks it by revealing that he thinks we’re supposed to be open…open to both genders.
At that point, we…well, I had decided that because of my Palendromic Rheumatism and the absence of cartilage in my most-used joints, I couldn’t keep up with a boy. I had convinced myself (and my husband) that a boy would require more bending and lifting and physical activity than I was able to do. So, still clearly unable to understand how the God of the Universe works, I checked only the “girl” box on our adoption paperwork, and immediately started buying cute little 3T dresses.
But here was this little boy. Looking so alone and so…sonny.
Kevin’s voice is low and waveless when he says he thinks we should pray about also checking the boy box. And by “we should pray”, I know that he means “I think we’ve still got some surrendering to do”. This is the beauty of Kevin. He is sensitive and insightful. Palpably tethered to the Spirit that guides him from within.
24 hours later, we call our adoption caseworker. We sit sweaty together on our end of the speakerphone, hoping she won’t receive our news as indecisiveness. (We hadn’t finished our home study yet and we still had a 600-question psychological exam ahead of us to assure them we were capable of making good decisions- ha!)
We share with her that God used a photo of a little boy to remind us that we hadn’t fully surrendered to His will, and that we think He’s encouraging us to be open to either gender.
She quickly explains that this is wonderful news because it will make for a quicker match. She explained that there were many more boys than girls at the Angel House, so being open to adopting a son would probably lead to a faster match. And then she said this: “It also means he is probably already there”.
My heart began to hammer hard inside my chest.
Will we be matched with a BOY and could he be one of the boys in this photo we were just looking at the day before?
Our minds raced as we looked at all their sweet little faces.
Now this is where the story gets really cool.
5 months later we received a call that our dossier would be entering the Haitian adoption process along with the dossier of the child they had chosen for us.
THEY CHOSE STEEVENSON’S DOSSIER and 15 months later, WE WERE OFFICIALLY MATCHED WITH HIM!
And now here we are, exactly 1 after that, and I am SO excited to introduce you to our son: Steevenson Chevalier Palmer!!!
I call him “Sonny” for short. 🙂
Even though we didn’t know it at the time, I firmly believe that the reason Kevin was moved so deeply the day he saw Steevenson’s photo is because he was looking into the eyes of his son. The same reason I knew within seconds that we would be checking the boy box the following day. Everything inside me said “open up…”. It was the same familiar whisper that said “adoption”, and “international”, and “Lifeline Children’s Services”, and “Haiti”, and “Three Angels Children’s Relief”.
It can be scary to follow God’s lead without knowing where He’s sending you (or who He’s sending you to!). It can be uncomfortable to wait for God’s timing without knowing when it will come. Challenging to expect miracles without knowing how God will provide. Intimidating to trust God’s purpose without understanding all of the circumstances. But that kind of surrender will change your life in the most unimaginable ways, y’all. I can promise you that! 🙂
PS- Our babe’s birth surname used to be Chevalier (which means “gallant or chivalrous gentleman” and is pronounced shuh–volly-ay) so we just skooched it over and made it his middle name. I’ll be back with some more photos and videos of him in action later this week!
Soooo happy for you all!!! Great news!!! He is adorable!!!
Oh my. Talk about timing and giving yourself fully up to God. My husband and I have decided to become foster parents…but I haven’t been able to make the call yet. Your post today gave me the courage to do it. Your family is beautiful. So many congratulations!
Ohhh my goodness, I’m in tears!!! I feel a need to open my email at work!!! THIS I’m sure was why!!!
CONGRATULATIONS Kevin and Layla, I’m over the moon with joy!!!!
Sincerely,
Lisa W.
So happy for all three of you! We each have our special adoption story and so clearly see the reason why each thing happened as it did, because we all end up with the children that God so clearly meant to bring into our lives. Best wishes for speedy travel dates so he can finally come HOME!
Congratulations! God Bless Sonny! He is beautiful boy!
I am speechless. So VERY happy for all three of you. Thanking God for His wonderful Love and Faithfulness.
When I saw the title of your post I couldn’t open it fast enough. I had goosebumps from head to toe. Congratulations!!!!! I am so happy for y’all. Looking forward to seeing more of our precious Sonny.
Such happiness for you & your sweet family! God is great xoxoxo
So happy for you!!!!!
He is so adorable! Congratulations!
What a blessing!
What a joyful day this is to hear your news! My heart is bursting at the seams with joy for you all! God definitely knew that little fellow needed to be a Palmer!!! What a life of joy, love, and stability he will have with you and Kevin. I will continue to pray for smooth sailing ahead for Gotcha Day!!!!
What a beautiful family! So happy to share in your wonderful news. God is SO good!
Praise God~ From whom all Blessing flow! Congratulations… Steevenson has already brought you a joyful heart…. and now each day you will be all together… seeing God’s world through brand new eyes. Thanks for sharing this with us it has been an honor to be a prayer partner and watch God work. Blessings from Oregon Jane
Congratulations! It has been a blessing to follow along. I can’t wait for the day that you get to bring your son home.
xo~Jill
Goodness! It’s been a true joy waiting and following along with you to make it to this point toady! Congrats!
Hooray! The best photo you’ve ever posted! God is good!
What a beautiful family! Congrats & I wish you many blessings and much happiness!
I have read your adoption story since day 1 (at least the day you posted) and have waited eagerly for updates. I’m so happy for you and Kevin. Nothing is more amazing than the day you take your baby home. Can’t wait for that post.
Great news! What a sweet face!
Words cannot describe how you must be feeling.
When I saw the three of you, “Precious” was my first thought.
I am so happy for you, I know it has been a long wait, and waiting is so hard! Your boy will be in your arms before you know it! Praise God for giving you the desirof your hearts 🙂
So glad you finally received what you have been waiting for. His eyes are precious and full of laughter and joy!! 2016 is the Great Year– which means a Great Year for whatever you need or want!! God is good and His timing is perfect! Love your blog and enjoy reading it every day.
Praise be to God and all his glory, his will has served!
Have great joy with him, it goes so fast, I only know you through you post and I believe you will be awesome parents.
So so happy for your family 😀 😀 Thank you for taking us on this continuing journey with y’all. All blessings <3
Handsome little fellow!! Congrats to you both:)
What an amazing journey towards the best form of love, the love for a child. There is nothing quite like it. It is love in its highest form. You and Kevin are obviously such kind, compassionate souls. You deserve to experience and live that kind of love, with your beautiful, precious son Steevenson.
Enjoy every moment of your new life as a family. Best wishes to you all.
xo
So, so beautiful.
Oh goodness! I’m so happy for you guys!!! I started reading your blog right about the time you did the first t-shirt fundraiser. I was so moved by your story that I purchased one of those t-shirts and proudly wore it often. Your faith really spoke to me (as I’m sure it did to so many others). I’ve often wondered how you could stand waiting all this time for your precious little boy. Each time you and Kevin came to mind, I offered up a silent prayer for God to put his hand on your hearts. I’m typing this through tears because I’m so proud of you! You are a shining example of surrendering everything to our Heavenly Father. Wishing you all the happiness your hearts can hold!!
Oh my goodness, what a cutie! Congratulations, you two…THREE! So happy for you!
Muy Feliz so happy for you. You brought tears to this mommy eyes. Congratulations and God Bless
You are a beautiful family! So happy for you. 🙂
Wooooohoooo!!! Congratulations!!! Beautiful story, beautiful family. Blessings to the Palmer Family….. of THREE!!
Tears of joy for your sweet family! Congratulations!
What a beautiful boy!!! I am so happy for you and Kevin…….”surrendering is always the key it seems to me……..His plan is always the very best!!! We celebrate with you and pray the time will go so quickly before you are able to bring him HOME! God is Faithful!
Linda
What a beautiful family!!!
I am so incredibly happy for all of you! I believe your family was always meant to be.
So excited and happy for the three of you! God is good!
Congratulations!!!!
Praising God for this wonderful news! Steevenson is adorable!!! I’m so thankful that God has brought you together as a family!
I’m crying reading this. I’m so happy for you and so excited for you to start your new life as a family. I can’t wait to see photos of your sonny growing up with his mum and dad. Huge congratulations to you all xx
So exciting! So happy for your family!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
Tears of joy!!!!!
Maryjane
I’m typing through tears. I’ve followed you all through this journey and could not be happier for your new beautiful family, a blessed union that only God could orchestrate. I’ll continue to send my prayers, love and support your way. God Bless.
This is amazing! When does he move in?!
I am so excited for you! It’s wonderful that you are doing this and I’m glad its getting closer!
Congratulations!! So excited for you.
He is so beautiful!! You can tell he’s been well taken care of at Three Angels because he looks so healthy and happy! Rejoicing with you. Praise God!
So happy for all of you. God has blessed you with a beautiful little boy.
He is absolutely adorable. Beautiful, handsome and so many wonderful words all in one breath. I love the picture of the three of you, happiness abounds. “Family” Truly blessed. Tears of joy for the three of you.
I keep checking your blog for updates and cried when I saw your sweet son. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!