“Before, I wanted to say: “I found love!” But now, I want to say: “I found a person. And he belongs to me and I belong to him.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Y’all! We got the revised copy of our adoption decree on Friday so I can share our baby’s name and photo today!
Our caseworker, Meredith, sent a copy of the decree to my email just before 6pm that day. I was home alone at the time, and never have I ever wanted to hug a person so hard in my life! I went out on the front porch and just smiled at the stars. Kevin got home from church about an hour later and it was SO FUN seeing him for the “first time” again. 😀
A couple of our sweet Connect Group families rushed outside their homes to celebrate with us, and then we went out for a late dinner at our favorite Japanese place. As I sat there, with my puffy, cried-out eyes, dunking deep-fried sushi roll slices in yum-yum sauce, I couldn’t get over how ethereal the whole experience felt. I kept asking our friends, “Did that really just happen? Did I really just see his new name? Am I really awake right now?”.
For three and a half years, I had been visualizing that night. The one where I’m sitting at Miyako Japanese Steak & Sushi, celebrating the 72 pages that say we’re officially a family of three. And then all of a sudden- WHOOSH. I’m there. Sitting at a thickly-lacquered pine table, between Kevin and Juju, and across from Mati, Suzanne and Billy. We’re eating edamame, and pouring soy sauce into tiny, footed trays. We were slurping on salty, chicken broth soup and celebrating the official stamps and signatures that deem our boy legally our son.
It was June of 2013 the first time I saw my son’s face. (Side note: it just occurred to me that “June” was my ‘Word of the Year’ in 2013. I chose it It chose me in December of 2012. Hmm. Very interesting.) I was coming up the stairs when I noticed Kevin sitting at the computer in our bedroom at the end of the hall. Because of how our desk is positioned, I could only see the right side of his face.
Wait. Are those tears? And is he smiling? What on earth is he looking at?
I start to walk faster. “Honey? Are you okay? What’s going on?”.
He doesn’t say a word, he just looks up at me and points to the computer screen in front of him. There, I see this picture:
It was a photo of a child that had just been transferred to the Angel House from the local social services building. His name is Steevenson– spelled like Haitians spell it with three “E”s. After a quick glance up at the menu bar at the top of the screen, I realize Kevin is on Three Angel’s Children’s Relief’s Facebook page. (Three Angels had just accepted our application around that time, so we spent a lot of time scrolling through their past posts and checking their page for updates.)
As we scrolled through the rest of the photos in Steevenson’s online album, I am also moved to tears.
Oh, that baby! So confused and scared. So clearly malnourished. At 18 months, his legs are much too small to support the rest of his weight so he sits frozen atop a steel medical table, his eyeballs the only things that move from photo to precious photo. Oh, that face! So sweet and gorgeous. I was captivated by his kewpie doll features; his button nose and pillowy lips. His big, wide-set eyes…with their ebony corneas. They’re like windows to his tender soul. I can tell he really hopes these new people mean well.
The silence that followed feels tactile. Kevin finally breaks it by revealing that he thinks we’re supposed to be open…open to both genders.
At that point, we…well, I had decided that because of my Palendromic Rheumatism and the absence of cartilage in my most-used joints, I couldn’t keep up with a boy. I had convinced myself (and my husband) that a boy would require more bending and lifting and physical activity than I was able to do. So, still clearly unable to understand how the God of the Universe works, I checked only the “girl” box on our adoption paperwork, and immediately started buying cute little 3T dresses.
But here was this little boy. Looking so alone and so…sonny.
Kevin’s voice is low and waveless when he says he thinks we should pray about also checking the boy box. And by “we should pray”, I know that he means “I think we’ve still got some surrendering to do”. This is the beauty of Kevin. He is sensitive and insightful. Palpably tethered to the Spirit that guides him from within.
24 hours later, we call our adoption caseworker. We sit sweaty together on our end of the speakerphone, hoping she won’t receive our news as indecisiveness. (We hadn’t finished our home study yet and we still had a 600-question psychological exam ahead of us to assure them we were capable of making good decisions- ha!)
We share with her that God used a photo of a little boy to remind us that we hadn’t fully surrendered to His will, and that we think He’s encouraging us to be open to either gender.
She quickly explains that this is wonderful news because it will make for a quicker match. She explained that there were many more boys than girls at the Angel House, so being open to adopting a son would probably lead to a faster match. And then she said this: “It also means he is probably already there”.
My heart began to hammer hard inside my chest.
Will we be matched with a BOY and could he be one of the boys in this photo we were just looking at the day before?
Our minds raced as we looked at all their sweet little faces.
Now this is where the story gets really cool.
5 months later we received a call that our dossier would be entering the Haitian adoption process along with the dossier of the child they had chosen for us.
THEY CHOSE STEEVENSON’S DOSSIER and 15 months later, WE WERE OFFICIALLY MATCHED WITH HIM!
And now here we are, exactly 1 after that, and I am SO excited to introduce you to our son: Steevenson Chevalier Palmer!!!
I call him “Sonny” for short. 🙂
Even though we didn’t know it at the time, I firmly believe that the reason Kevin was moved so deeply the day he saw Steevenson’s photo is because he was looking into the eyes of his son. The same reason I knew within seconds that we would be checking the boy box the following day. Everything inside me said “open up…”. It was the same familiar whisper that said “adoption”, and “international”, and “Lifeline Children’s Services”, and “Haiti”, and “Three Angels Children’s Relief”.
It can be scary to follow God’s lead without knowing where He’s sending you (or who He’s sending you to!). It can be uncomfortable to wait for God’s timing without knowing when it will come. Challenging to expect miracles without knowing how God will provide. Intimidating to trust God’s purpose without understanding all of the circumstances. But that kind of surrender will change your life in the most unimaginable ways, y’all. I can promise you that! 🙂
PS- Our babe’s birth surname used to be Chevalier (which means “gallant or chivalrous gentleman” and is pronounced shuh–volly-ay) so we just skooched it over and made it his middle name. I’ll be back with some more photos and videos of him in action later this week!
Yea!!!!! You and Kevin win the award for being the most patient (will come in handy with a little boy!) and gracious parents. I hope his homecoming is soon!!!!
So happy to see this post this morning! I’m beyond thrilled for you guys…. beautiful little boy, beautiful family, beautiful story. I love that you kept his Haitian name.
Love this sweet boy ……. love also “we need to pray about this” really meaning we have some more surrendering to do …… sums it up exactly for so much of life. Beautiful :).
Best.News.Ever! I am so thrilled for all of you.
Congratulations!! Beautiful all around!
I am SO HAPPY for you all! I’m so anxious to see how God uses this precious child! Praise God!
I’ve never seen a more beautiful family. Happy Day!!!!
Your blog is hands down my favorite home decor inspiration! I have been following your adoption process from the start and am very happy for you today!
This Mama of two can’t wait for gotcha day!
Sandra
I was half right! When I visited the website after you first announced where your baby was coming from, I thought it would be either Samuel or Steevenson, I kid you not!! Squee! He is so beautiful, such a happy little guy 🙂 Congratulations!
Welcome to the hardest, but most fulfilling job in the world! I was so exited when i saw the full picture of the 3 of you. Congratulations. So happy for you all.
Woo hoo!! Praise the Lord!!! I’m so happy for you both! Thanks for sharing the fun details of God moving you to check the boy box. He is awesome!!! What a gift he has given you! Hugs!
Tears of joy are streaming down my face now. I am so happy for the three of you. Your patience is such an inspiration and your son is absolutely beautiful. What a lovely family you are!
What a faith-filled, joy-filled, God-honoring testimony the Lord has given you, Layla. So very happy for you, Kevin, and Sonny!! Thank you for sharing your great news with us and for sharing your faith — your sensitivity to God’s leading and mysterious ways encouraged my heart today and I’m quite sure He will continue to use your family powerfully through this wonderful story. God bless you all!!
This is the best news I’ve read in a long time. So very very happy for your sweet family!!!!
Congratulations to the new Mom and Dad! Sonny is just beautiful. This will be your greatest adventure ever! God bless you all.
WOW! What a testimony of living for God’s will!! It’s so amazing to see His hands in our life and how He orchestras everything for us and what He does is SO MUCH MORE than what we can ever imagine. Such a beautiful love story by our creator!!!!So very happy for you and your husband AND for little man!
I got goose bumps when I saw a third face in your photo looking back at me from my computer screen!!!! Yippeeeeee!!!!! This made my day! If we’d all keep our eyes, ears, & hearts open to those little whispers, what would we see? Sometimes, our son looking back at us from Haiti! I’m so happy for you, Kevin & Sonny! That was a lot of exclamation posts!!!!!
Every prayer prayed, every hope hoped, every dream dreamed as God was weaving your lives together as family are all such a beautiful part of your journey. Love, love, love it!
Such wonderful news!!! Continued prayers for all THREE of you!!!
I am beyond thrilled for you! Thank you for sharing this journey. God is SO Good! Congratulations! ❤️
I’ve been struggling to accept God’s will for me and my family because I believe it will be so difficult to do and will stretch us to places we would never willingly go. Yet I love God and I want to make Him happy. So I am doing it. In our case “it” is adopting from foster care. I am sure you never expected adopting your beautiful boy would take so many years. I am sure the wait was long and hard. I am sure getting used to having a child for the first time will be challenging and may stretch you to places you’ve never been too. It is nice to know we’re in this together. I also appreciate your faith showing brightly here for all of us to see.
Tears of joy for both of you!! I have been sharing your story with my children and they are also overjoyed for you. Steevenson has both your’s and Kevin’s smile. God is good and gives only his best. Looking forward to the homecoming now!!!!
Congratulations! Wonderful news!
Celebrating God kindness to this Sweet P and to you! What an adventure you will experience….it’s a blast raising a boy! Prayers as you wait for that long anticipated final leg of your journey, bringing Sonny home!
Yay! So very happy for you three! We waited 7 years for our daughter from China, so I can relate to the overwhelming joy you are all feeling. What a sweet new journey ahead for your family. Big hugs!
Beautiful boy. Beautiful family.
Congratulations! I’m so very happy for all 3 of you!
So so happy for you!! I’ve been following for a short time and have been captivated by your adoption story. This post moved me to tears. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here & CONGRATULATIONS!
The BEST news. Congratulations!
Layla,
I am sooooo very excited for the three of y’all. Sonny is one cute fella and so very blessed to have you and Kevin as his parents. I hope I get to meet him in October at the market.
Blessings,
Linda
Happy Mothers Day and Fathers Day!❤️
What a beautiful story and how lucky you are to have been guided to such a beautiful boy! Truly Blessed!
Oh Happy Day! Tears of Joy! Beautiful Lil’ Sonny!
What a fantastic name for such a lucky little dude! Congratulations to you, a family of three now 🙂
I have tears in my eyes reading your post! Wonderful, exciting, blessed news! I am so happy for the three of you. It’s moving to know that you and Kevin put your faith and trust in a loving Heavenly Father who had plans for you all along with this sweet boy, your son. It was meant to be! You and Kevin have tender hearts that are open for receiving blessings in life. You followed the promptings that ultimately lead you to Steevenson. Layla, you constantly listened to your intuition and things worked out the way they were supposed to. Big hugs and love! xoxoxo
Tears of joy! So happy for your family!
So very excited for all three of you! God is so very faithful and what an amazing journey you have been on! The best is yet to come!
OMG, I am so, so happy for you!!! I have goosebumps all over reading this post. Congratulations, I can’t wait to see more pics of you all together. xxx
God Bless the Palmer family of three.
I hope you can feel the love coming your way from all around the country for this blessing.
I’m beyond thrilled for you two!! This is a blessed little boy!!!
so happy for y’all! Looks like your boy is PERFECT fit 🙂
Congratulations. What a beautiful family! <3
How wonderful! He’s such a handsome young man, too. 🙂 I’m so very happy for the three of you!
Felicidades! I’m so happy for you guys God is love beautiful family ???
Congratulations! I have been following your adoption story for a while, and I found it very inspiring. I pray God blesses you and Kevin with all you need to be your son’s optimal parents. You are on a journey filled with many joys, mysteries, and adventures. It’s a rollercoaster ride that every family experiences…One day up, one day down, one regular day, and all of it mixed together in the craziest of ways. Nothing predictable, and all of it deeply meaningful.
Much love,
Mary
Felicidades! I’m so happy for you guys God is love beautiful family ???
I am so thrilled to finally see your son!!
Praise the Lord. So happy for your precious little family!!!!
So excited for ya’ll! I have narrowed it down from all of those sweet little faces that little Steevenson was your son! Hope the time flies so he will be home soon. Congratulations!!!
Oh my gosh, what a beautiful story of love, faith, and family! What a sweet little fella… I would definitely say this is a case of divine intervention! Congratulations!