“Before, I wanted to say: “I found love!” But now, I want to say: “I found a person. And he belongs to me and I belong to him.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Y’all! We got the revised copy of our adoption decree on Friday so I can share our baby’s name and photo today!
Our caseworker, Meredith, sent a copy of the decree to my email just before 6pm that day. I was home alone at the time, and never have I ever wanted to hug a person so hard in my life! I went out on the front porch and just smiled at the stars. Kevin got home from church about an hour later and it was SO FUN seeing him for the “first time” again. 😀
A couple of our sweet Connect Group families rushed outside their homes to celebrate with us, and then we went out for a late dinner at our favorite Japanese place. As I sat there, with my puffy, cried-out eyes, dunking deep-fried sushi roll slices in yum-yum sauce, I couldn’t get over how ethereal the whole experience felt. I kept asking our friends, “Did that really just happen? Did I really just see his new name? Am I really awake right now?”.
For three and a half years, I had been visualizing that night. The one where I’m sitting at Miyako Japanese Steak & Sushi, celebrating the 72 pages that say we’re officially a family of three. And then all of a sudden- WHOOSH. I’m there. Sitting at a thickly-lacquered pine table, between Kevin and Juju, and across from Mati, Suzanne and Billy. We’re eating edamame, and pouring soy sauce into tiny, footed trays. We were slurping on salty, chicken broth soup and celebrating the official stamps and signatures that deem our boy legally our son.
It was June of 2013 the first time I saw my son’s face. (Side note: it just occurred to me that “June” was my ‘Word of the Year’ in 2013. I chose it It chose me in December of 2012. Hmm. Very interesting.) I was coming up the stairs when I noticed Kevin sitting at the computer in our bedroom at the end of the hall. Because of how our desk is positioned, I could only see the right side of his face.
Wait. Are those tears? And is he smiling? What on earth is he looking at?
I start to walk faster. “Honey? Are you okay? What’s going on?”.
He doesn’t say a word, he just looks up at me and points to the computer screen in front of him. There, I see this picture:
It was a photo of a child that had just been transferred to the Angel House from the local social services building. His name is Steevenson– spelled like Haitians spell it with three “E”s. After a quick glance up at the menu bar at the top of the screen, I realize Kevin is on Three Angel’s Children’s Relief’s Facebook page. (Three Angels had just accepted our application around that time, so we spent a lot of time scrolling through their past posts and checking their page for updates.)
As we scrolled through the rest of the photos in Steevenson’s online album, I am also moved to tears.
Oh, that baby! So confused and scared. So clearly malnourished. At 18 months, his legs are much too small to support the rest of his weight so he sits frozen atop a steel medical table, his eyeballs the only things that move from photo to precious photo. Oh, that face! So sweet and gorgeous. I was captivated by his kewpie doll features; his button nose and pillowy lips. His big, wide-set eyes…with their ebony corneas. They’re like windows to his tender soul. I can tell he really hopes these new people mean well.
The silence that followed feels tactile. Kevin finally breaks it by revealing that he thinks we’re supposed to be open…open to both genders.
At that point, we…well, I had decided that because of my Palendromic Rheumatism and the absence of cartilage in my most-used joints, I couldn’t keep up with a boy. I had convinced myself (and my husband) that a boy would require more bending and lifting and physical activity than I was able to do. So, still clearly unable to understand how the God of the Universe works, I checked only the “girl” box on our adoption paperwork, and immediately started buying cute little 3T dresses.
But here was this little boy. Looking so alone and so…sonny.
Kevin’s voice is low and waveless when he says he thinks we should pray about also checking the boy box. And by “we should pray”, I know that he means “I think we’ve still got some surrendering to do”. This is the beauty of Kevin. He is sensitive and insightful. Palpably tethered to the Spirit that guides him from within.
24 hours later, we call our adoption caseworker. We sit sweaty together on our end of the speakerphone, hoping she won’t receive our news as indecisiveness. (We hadn’t finished our home study yet and we still had a 600-question psychological exam ahead of us to assure them we were capable of making good decisions- ha!)
We share with her that God used a photo of a little boy to remind us that we hadn’t fully surrendered to His will, and that we think He’s encouraging us to be open to either gender.
She quickly explains that this is wonderful news because it will make for a quicker match. She explained that there were many more boys than girls at the Angel House, so being open to adopting a son would probably lead to a faster match. And then she said this: “It also means he is probably already there”.
My heart began to hammer hard inside my chest.
Will we be matched with a BOY and could he be one of the boys in this photo we were just looking at the day before?
Our minds raced as we looked at all their sweet little faces.
Now this is where the story gets really cool.
5 months later we received a call that our dossier would be entering the Haitian adoption process along with the dossier of the child they had chosen for us.
THEY CHOSE STEEVENSON’S DOSSIER and 15 months later, WE WERE OFFICIALLY MATCHED WITH HIM!
And now here we are, exactly 1 after that, and I am SO excited to introduce you to our son: Steevenson Chevalier Palmer!!!
I call him “Sonny” for short. 🙂
Even though we didn’t know it at the time, I firmly believe that the reason Kevin was moved so deeply the day he saw Steevenson’s photo is because he was looking into the eyes of his son. The same reason I knew within seconds that we would be checking the boy box the following day. Everything inside me said “open up…”. It was the same familiar whisper that said “adoption”, and “international”, and “Lifeline Children’s Services”, and “Haiti”, and “Three Angels Children’s Relief”.
It can be scary to follow God’s lead without knowing where He’s sending you (or who He’s sending you to!). It can be uncomfortable to wait for God’s timing without knowing when it will come. Challenging to expect miracles without knowing how God will provide. Intimidating to trust God’s purpose without understanding all of the circumstances. But that kind of surrender will change your life in the most unimaginable ways, y’all. I can promise you that! 🙂
PS- Our babe’s birth surname used to be Chevalier (which means “gallant or chivalrous gentleman” and is pronounced shuh–volly-ay) so we just skooched it over and made it his middle name. I’ll be back with some more photos and videos of him in action later this week!
Hallelujah!
I am so happy for you guys (she said with tears in her eyes).
Layla – I’ve followed your blog for years but have rarely, if ever, commented. But today! Oh my goodness, I’ve waited with you through this process and have hurt for you at times. But today! I am so so happy for your family. And what a beautiful family it is. Thank you for sharing such good news with us.
God has blessed you all! Congratulations on your beautiful family! Our daughter is still going through the adoption process to find a child through the SC child services department and been a real challenge so I’m very thrilled to see a success story.
I can feel your joy across these miles and I am brought to tears. He is so precious and so, yours. Congrats to you all…..for your patience, your persistence, your belief . It has made you a family. Much love.
Blessings upon your house! My heart is full for you today.
So very excited for you guys! I have followed along in your journey and seriously teared up seeing this photo with the three of you and finally be able to lay eyes on his sweet face! Many blessings to you!!
I am crying tears of joy for you! God bless you and your family. Congratulations!
I’m so happy for your family!
Finally! Thanks goodness. I want that boy in your arms and home permanently!
Could not read this fast enough when I saw the heading of the blog! Such happy tears for your new family! He is adorable, and I cannot wait for the years of photos and blogs to come as he grows up. Thank you for sharing this journey with us, your internet friends. God knew what he was doing all along!
I have been waiting to hear this wonderful news! Thanks so much so sharing the amazing journey so far. Love the family picture of little Steevenson Palmer in your arms. Blessings!
Congratulations!! Your family is beautiful! And that smile on Sonny’s face says it all!
Yeee! I’m still a regular Lettered Cottage reader and rarely comment. But I just have to today. The tears when reading this! My day is made! God’s blessing is beautiful. I’m so excited for your family! Congratulations!
Crying right now. What a beautiful post, thank you for sharing something so heartfelt and honest. It is amazing how everything happens for a reason and whatever is meant to be, will be. Congratulations to you and your family. What a beautiful son you have, the son you were always supposed to have. Very inspiring and touched my heart. Hold him close and remember what a blessing he is even when he is coloring on your walls hahaha.
He’s beautiful!!! Im so happy for ya’ll. What a blessing you will be for each other!
Deepest congratulations from another adoptive mama. We started our adoption journeys at the same time. After an initial home study we took a break in ours as I still had more grieving to do with not being able to carry a child. But we started back up in late 2014. In May 2015 we brought home the most beautiful baby boy from the hospital… and after we had checked only that “girl” box too lol!!! I marvel at the boyness of our son, adventurous with no fear. He is amazing. Our adoption was finalized feb 17th. Best day ever. Enjoy the comfort of knowing it’s for real and forever. Your Sonny is just beautiful.
Crying happy tears with you!! So, so very happy for you all!!
I have been waiting for this day with you. Everyday I looked to see a post, praying for these words. I feel like your family is a part of my family. I cannot begin to express my joy for you, Kevin and Steevenson.
God is good. Congratulations!
Congratulations!
You are an inspiration to so many people. Your trust in God is amazing and never have I witnessed so much grace. You make me want to be a better person…a better Christian! I am so very happy for you and your new little family!
Patience, devotion, perseverance and love is what I see here! Congratulations. 🙂
I was waiting for this wonderful news with you for so long. I never comment, but today I couldn’t stop myself from doing it. I am so so happy for you guys. Congratulations, from the bottom of my heart!
i had to take my glasses off to see through tears to read your blog! what a tstimony to Gods faithfulness when we surrender our own will to His. Cingrats to your whole family. nowh his grandparents will be there with him too! happy family. ?
Congratulations!!
You both are such a fine example of what it means to be patient and to love without limits. Our Lord and Savior is so very very pleased with the unsurmountable FAITH you have had in HIS love and plan for you. Thank you and So very very overjoyed for your joy!
AMAZING!! I am soo very happy for you! He is beautiful!
Tears in my eyes, a smile on my face. Oh, what a wonderful story your little guy has! And I love his name! So very happy for you all! Can’t wait till he’s home!
Congratulations and blessings on your patience and faith being rewarded in this lovely way! The first time that Steevenson sleeps beneath your roof will be one of the sweetest moments of your lives. Sending best wishes for speedy travel and gathering of the babe.
Such joy !! When I saw you and your little one on Instagram I was so happy for you ! This sweet son of yours is truly a gift from God . Thank you for sharing . This little one was placed right where God wanted him . It’s amazing to see how our Lord works ! So happy for you all ! God bless ??
Hooray!!
Congrats – and God Bless! I’ve been reading for several years and just want to share that I am so very happy for your family. 🙂
So very very happy for you!!!
Dear Layla, Kevin and Sonny, May you live Happily Ever After!
Please make sure you tell and retell this wonderful story to your son, it is such a good one!
xo Sue
What a delight to see your post righ when I opened FB! I want to shot from the rooftops for ya’ll! God is so very GOOD! Love Steevenson’s cute little face!! Sweetest family pic I ever did see!! Thanks for sharing this journey with us all! Can’t wait for your sweet boys homecoming!!
Oh Layla and Kevin I am so happy for both of you! Sonny is just adorable and I cannot wait to see him thrive when he gets home. Congratulations!!!!!
What a lovely post to begin the new week!!! I am overjoyed for all of you. May God continue to bless you on your journey together….it’s going to be wonderful!
Oh Happy Day! or Oh Sonny Day! Congratulations to the three of you.
Hallelujah and congratulations! So happy for your now official family of 3!!! 🙂 He is so precious!
Happy, happy news indeed! Along with so many other commenters, I too, have felt like we have been on this journey with you! God is so good! He has given you “the desire of your heart!” Sonny is a beautiful boy! Congratulations!
Amen! Finally your boy will be coming to his new family soon! Couldn’t be happier for you! Xo
Thank you for sharing your heart and soul! I rejoice and praise the Lord WITH YOU!
Oh my goodness! When I saw you and Kevin and there was not heart over that little face, I knew it was going to be the news we’ve ALL been waiting to hear!! How very very exciting for you! When will you get to bring your precious boy HOME? Much love, I know you are so thrilled, and I am thrilled for you!!
He is absolutely precious! May God bless your sweet new family! 🙂
This is such great news! Sonny is absolutely adorable! Congratulations! What an amazing thing 🙂
So, so very happy for you and your cute family! As an adoptive mama myself, I’ve seen how God’s hand plays a part in getting His precious children into the families where they belong. Sonny is adorable, and I’ve never seen you look happier. Congrats!!
I’ve been following all your updates as you inched closer to your son. How exciting to hear this joyous news. Your family just enlarged in number and love. I am so happy for all of you.
Congratulations! Wonderful news!!
My heart is full of joy just seeing this picture of your precious new son! Praise the Lord!
God’s grace and answered prayers.