“Before, I wanted to say: “I found love!” But now, I want to say: “I found a person. And he belongs to me and I belong to him.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Y’all! We got the revised copy of our adoption decree on Friday so I can share our baby’s name and photo today!
Our caseworker, Meredith, sent a copy of the decree to my email just before 6pm that day. I was home alone at the time, and never have I ever wanted to hug a person so hard in my life! I went out on the front porch and just smiled at the stars. Kevin got home from church about an hour later and it was SO FUN seeing him for the “first time” again. 😀
A couple of our sweet Connect Group families rushed outside their homes to celebrate with us, and then we went out for a late dinner at our favorite Japanese place. As I sat there, with my puffy, cried-out eyes, dunking deep-fried sushi roll slices in yum-yum sauce, I couldn’t get over how ethereal the whole experience felt. I kept asking our friends, “Did that really just happen? Did I really just see his new name? Am I really awake right now?”.
For three and a half years, I had been visualizing that night. The one where I’m sitting at Miyako Japanese Steak & Sushi, celebrating the 72 pages that say we’re officially a family of three. And then all of a sudden- WHOOSH. I’m there. Sitting at a thickly-lacquered pine table, between Kevin and Juju, and across from Mati, Suzanne and Billy. We’re eating edamame, and pouring soy sauce into tiny, footed trays. We were slurping on salty, chicken broth soup and celebrating the official stamps and signatures that deem our boy legally our son.
It was June of 2013 the first time I saw my son’s face. (Side note: it just occurred to me that “June” was my ‘Word of the Year’ in 2013. I chose it It chose me in December of 2012. Hmm. Very interesting.) I was coming up the stairs when I noticed Kevin sitting at the computer in our bedroom at the end of the hall. Because of how our desk is positioned, I could only see the right side of his face.
Wait. Are those tears? And is he smiling? What on earth is he looking at?
I start to walk faster. “Honey? Are you okay? What’s going on?”.
He doesn’t say a word, he just looks up at me and points to the computer screen in front of him. There, I see this picture:
It was a photo of a child that had just been transferred to the Angel House from the local social services building. His name is Steevenson– spelled like Haitians spell it with three “E”s. After a quick glance up at the menu bar at the top of the screen, I realize Kevin is on Three Angel’s Children’s Relief’s Facebook page. (Three Angels had just accepted our application around that time, so we spent a lot of time scrolling through their past posts and checking their page for updates.)
As we scrolled through the rest of the photos in Steevenson’s online album, I am also moved to tears.
Oh, that baby! So confused and scared. So clearly malnourished. At 18 months, his legs are much too small to support the rest of his weight so he sits frozen atop a steel medical table, his eyeballs the only things that move from photo to precious photo. Oh, that face! So sweet and gorgeous. I was captivated by his kewpie doll features; his button nose and pillowy lips. His big, wide-set eyes…with their ebony corneas. They’re like windows to his tender soul. I can tell he really hopes these new people mean well.
The silence that followed feels tactile. Kevin finally breaks it by revealing that he thinks we’re supposed to be open…open to both genders.
At that point, we…well, I had decided that because of my Palendromic Rheumatism and the absence of cartilage in my most-used joints, I couldn’t keep up with a boy. I had convinced myself (and my husband) that a boy would require more bending and lifting and physical activity than I was able to do. So, still clearly unable to understand how the God of the Universe works, I checked only the “girl” box on our adoption paperwork, and immediately started buying cute little 3T dresses.
But here was this little boy. Looking so alone and so…sonny.
Kevin’s voice is low and waveless when he says he thinks we should pray about also checking the boy box. And by “we should pray”, I know that he means “I think we’ve still got some surrendering to do”. This is the beauty of Kevin. He is sensitive and insightful. Palpably tethered to the Spirit that guides him from within.
24 hours later, we call our adoption caseworker. We sit sweaty together on our end of the speakerphone, hoping she won’t receive our news as indecisiveness. (We hadn’t finished our home study yet and we still had a 600-question psychological exam ahead of us to assure them we were capable of making good decisions- ha!)
We share with her that God used a photo of a little boy to remind us that we hadn’t fully surrendered to His will, and that we think He’s encouraging us to be open to either gender.
She quickly explains that this is wonderful news because it will make for a quicker match. She explained that there were many more boys than girls at the Angel House, so being open to adopting a son would probably lead to a faster match. And then she said this: “It also means he is probably already there”.
My heart began to hammer hard inside my chest.
Will we be matched with a BOY and could he be one of the boys in this photo we were just looking at the day before?
Our minds raced as we looked at all their sweet little faces.
Now this is where the story gets really cool.
5 months later we received a call that our dossier would be entering the Haitian adoption process along with the dossier of the child they had chosen for us.
THEY CHOSE STEEVENSON’S DOSSIER and 15 months later, WE WERE OFFICIALLY MATCHED WITH HIM!
And now here we are, exactly 1 after that, and I am SO excited to introduce you to our son: Steevenson Chevalier Palmer!!!
I call him “Sonny” for short. 🙂
Even though we didn’t know it at the time, I firmly believe that the reason Kevin was moved so deeply the day he saw Steevenson’s photo is because he was looking into the eyes of his son. The same reason I knew within seconds that we would be checking the boy box the following day. Everything inside me said “open up…”. It was the same familiar whisper that said “adoption”, and “international”, and “Lifeline Children’s Services”, and “Haiti”, and “Three Angels Children’s Relief”.
It can be scary to follow God’s lead without knowing where He’s sending you (or who He’s sending you to!). It can be uncomfortable to wait for God’s timing without knowing when it will come. Challenging to expect miracles without knowing how God will provide. Intimidating to trust God’s purpose without understanding all of the circumstances. But that kind of surrender will change your life in the most unimaginable ways, y’all. I can promise you that! 🙂
PS- Our babe’s birth surname used to be Chevalier (which means “gallant or chivalrous gentleman” and is pronounced shuh–volly-ay) so we just skooched it over and made it his middle name. I’ll be back with some more photos and videos of him in action later this week!
May God bless you all with a lifetime of love and happiness together
Congratulations! You have a wonderful, beautiful family of three!!! Enjoy!!
We don’t know each other, but me, life many others feel as if we know both you and Kevin after following your adoption process the last few years. What a blessing to open my computer this morning and see that sweet face. Tears of joy and thankfulness are falling!
I adopted my gift from God from China 17 years ago! I remember the first time I saw her face – a faxed photo from my adoption agency. I cried such deep tears of joy and gratitude. And a month later, when they placed her in my arms there in China, I knew she was MY girl forever! Now, my beautiful fun-loving, cheerleader, Italian food loving, pug-loving of a girl will soon be graduating from high school and heading off to college. You have a wonderful future ahead of you! But the most important thing you will ever do for your Sonny, as you already know, is bring him to Christ. The One who made our families. The day she accepted Christ as her Savior was truly the happiest day of my life. We are SO blessed!!! Enjoy the time of joyful waiting – lean on God for patience and peace. Congratulations!!!!!!!
Praise God!!! I am so happy for all 3 of you !!!
I can’t remember a happier Monday morning reading this news! I have so many emotions swirling around my heart for you three, but mostly just LOVE that everything turned out EXACTLY as GOD intended . . . .
you all are such an inspiration to me . . . .
I’m going to go find my tissues now . . . . xoxoxo
Oh my goodness, Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!
WooHoo Palmer Family!!! What a cutie-patootie Steevenson is!! Sending all of you a hearty congratulations from the Boston area on this “official” day that he’s become a Palmer! Thank you for sharing your story with us, I’ve so enjoyed following along…and look forward to the next upcoming and exciting steps in your continued family journey!
Congratulations! A couple of years ago, whilst foster parents, my husband and I had decided we were only going to foster girls as we had already adopted a girl and boy with mental health needs and having other boys in the house had been difficult for our new son (aged 11 at that time). We had a call asking if we would take an 8 year old girl in to our home to foster and we said yes immediately. We then found out they were having difficulty placing her brother due to the large numbers of little boys coming in to the system at that time. My husband looked at me and said ‘what do we do?’. I said that if the brother was under 2 years old, meaning he would be in a crib in our room and not have to be in our sons bedroom, that we would foster him too. I cannot tell you how pleased I am that we made that decision. Our little boy Jakob is now 41/2 and is the most beautiful, precious bundle of love. He and his sister have completed our family and their adoptions were finalized October 2015. If we had not been open to God’s leading and accepted that little boy we would have missed out on such a blessing. He is very placid and my age (51) has not given me any issues keeping up with him. He’s the kind of child who wants to read, do puzzles and play make-believe games. There are plenty of ways to satisfy a child’s need to be physical and girls are no different to boys in that regard. Congratulations again! God is indeed good!
I’m crying. God’s timing and the way He leads and guides is so sweet. I love reading this story from the beginning and seeing God’s hand through it all. And I love even more seeing sweet Sonny’s face! Wow! What a handsome son you have!! Cannot wait to see more photos of him! Can you re-post some videos of him now with his whole face and laugh and voice? So so happy for the Palmer family!
A new chapter in life! As Dr. Seuss said (can you tell I am a librarian? Lol) “Oh, the places you’ll go!” And it will be grand!
My dear Layla and Kevin,
I have been reading your blog for years. I came for the decorating and DIY projects, I have stayed for love I feel for you and your family. I am overjoyed with happiness for you. Sonny is beautiful, and looks so happy to be with you. Congratulations to you and your whole family!
Your post brings back so many memories for me – the first time we saw our son’s picture in a baby house in Russia. Who says you can’t fall in love at first sight with just a photograph? So very happy that you were open and willing to go where God led you!
God is good. So excited for you and your little guy. Hope he is with you soon.
I’m SO happy for you and Kevin!! He is absolutely gorgeous!! God bless all of you!
I’M IN LOVE! He is preciousness! I’m so happy for you and Kevin. God is so good! This little fellow is going to be so blessed to have such a wonderful mother and daddy. Yay!
Oh, sweet friends!! I’m so so happy to read this post and to be joyous and excited with you for God’s amazing grace. You 2 will be the best parents ever!! xoxo
I’m so very happy for the three of you! Little Sonny will be sleeping in his beautiful new bedroom soon – home stretch!
He is precious, y’all! Your faith in His faithfulness so touching and your story brings me to tears again and again. The transformation in that sad little face to the smiling cherubic face is heartwarming!
I want to shout from the rooftops!! What blessed news the Lord has given us today!!! So happy and moved to tears!! Love from Chicago!
Such amazing news Layla! I’ve been following along this incredible journey of yours for awhile without saying much, but I couldn’t help commenting now! He is SO beautiful! How lucky all three of you are to have each other! God bless! xoxo
Been an avid reader and so very happy to see that beautiful boy’s picture this morning. You are a beautiful family, Congratulations!
Congrats Palmer family — family of 3! What joyful news! His eyes dance and his smile is simply contagious. xo!
Congratulations and many more blessings ahead ?
Congratulation on your little boy! You can see the love in all three of you! We have an adopted daughter who we got at 3 days old she is now 45 and still my joy! I believe God matches us up together, not us. Enjoy your little guy!
So happy for you all! I’ve been reading your story for years and was so excited to see this post!!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
I LOVE your birth story! You are a gorgeous family and I cannot wait to hear your mommy stories of your little boy “at home” with you both! This is so exciting!
Thank you for sharing your path and your joy with us! I am filled with delight and happiness this morning for the three of you! Me, just a reader from Texas, is thanking God for the family this little boy now has with you and Kevin. Beautiful!
p.s. The family photo is completely saturated with love!!
I’m going to carry this good around with me ALL day! That photo of the three of you is basically the best thing ever. Wish I could’ve celebrated with you in person! One day!!! XO
Congratulations! I have been following your story from the beginning. God is good! Looking forward to Steevensen’ s homecoming. God bless you and your new family.
I am beyond EXCITED for you it has been a long journey for you and I’m sure him! I’m so happy for you that the end is in sight!!!! He is beautiful!!!!
So so happy for you I screamed and burst into tears for this info this morning. I have been with you every step of the way I have never left a comment before but I just had to today. Wishing you all the best all the happiness and JOY you deserve. God bless!
My heart is so full for you that it feels painfully near to bursting. Such a blessing to finally see that handsome face and beautiful family all together! I also had to smile at his name. I’m an Ohioan by birth, but lived in the south by way of Louisiana and Texas for over 10 years. Steevenson’s Haitian given name…has SUCH a southern vibe to it! Those southerners LOVE to use surnames as first names and it’s so sweetly appropriate that his name would use that concept with the Haitian spelling. Congratulations, Palmers! ❤️
I am so excited for all of you. God has truly blessed both you and your husband and also your son!
Your journey is amazing! His smile is infectious and shows love! How blessed all of you are! I too was moved to tears! Thank you for sharing!
Praise God! I am sitting at my desk, at work, with tears of full JOY for you as a family! It takes me back to a very special time in my life 28+ years ago when we adopted our son. You have such a wonderful journey ahead of you. Enjoy. Every. Single. Moment!
Kevin and Layla,
He’s so beautiful! And what a beautiful family you make. There is so much joy in that photo . .
Congratulations to all of you!
so happy for you both!!! Praise God.
Overjoyed with you and for you! Cannot wait for you to bring him home! Praying for you three! Xoxo
Love your testimony of God’s leading through the process of bringing you and Kevin and Steevenson together! Glorious and precious! Thank you for blessing us with the story!
What a beautiful picture of our God’s great love and faithfulness! Congratulations!
And now I am moved to tears. No words to express how happy I am for you all. Congratulations!!!
Praise God! I can’t wait to see more photos of your beautiful son.
Such wonderful news! Thank you for sharing every step in this amazing journey to parenthood with us. God’s blessings to you and your beautiful family.
He is just how I imagined. He is absolutely beautiful. Your story is beautiful and your family–of three- is BEAUTIFUL! Congratulations and thank you for sharing this life journey that touches so many.
Oh what a beautiful feeling . . . seeing the three of you all together. That’s what love looks like. God is so good to give us families to love and care for each other. What an amazing young man he is, and so blessed to be living with awesome Christian parents like you and Kevin. I can’t wait to watch your new lives unfold as parents of a beautiful little boy. Hallelujah :). Praise the Lord.
My heart is so full. Reading this post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this wonderfully personal and sacred journey with us. Sonny is so cute and his smile is just like his daddy’s! I’m so happy for you all.
I have been waiting with bated breath for this day, crying and praying and hoping and dreaming right along beside you both. What a wonderful family you are and what a lucky child to have found a home with such beautiful, loving parents. You are all truly blessed and and I wish you all the best.
so when do you get to bring him home????
Your Sonny is just precious and I am so happy for the three of you! I have prayed for your family as I followed your adoption process. Reading your story this morning moved me to tears. God is so good! I’m looking forward to seeing more pictures of your sweet family as your grow together.