“Before, I wanted to say: “I found love!” But now, I want to say: “I found a person. And he belongs to me and I belong to him.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Y’all! We got the revised copy of our adoption decree on Friday so I can share our baby’s name and photo today!
Our caseworker, Meredith, sent a copy of the decree to my email just before 6pm that day. I was home alone at the time, and never have I ever wanted to hug a person so hard in my life! I went out on the front porch and just smiled at the stars. Kevin got home from church about an hour later and it was SO FUN seeing him for the “first time” again. 😀
A couple of our sweet Connect Group families rushed outside their homes to celebrate with us, and then we went out for a late dinner at our favorite Japanese place. As I sat there, with my puffy, cried-out eyes, dunking deep-fried sushi roll slices in yum-yum sauce, I couldn’t get over how ethereal the whole experience felt. I kept asking our friends, “Did that really just happen? Did I really just see his new name? Am I really awake right now?”.
For three and a half years, I had been visualizing that night. The one where I’m sitting at Miyako Japanese Steak & Sushi, celebrating the 72 pages that say we’re officially a family of three. And then all of a sudden- WHOOSH. I’m there. Sitting at a thickly-lacquered pine table, between Kevin and Juju, and across from Mati, Suzanne and Billy. We’re eating edamame, and pouring soy sauce into tiny, footed trays. We were slurping on salty, chicken broth soup and celebrating the official stamps and signatures that deem our boy legally our son.
It was June of 2013 the first time I saw my son’s face. (Side note: it just occurred to me that “June” was my ‘Word of the Year’ in 2013. I chose it It chose me in December of 2012. Hmm. Very interesting.) I was coming up the stairs when I noticed Kevin sitting at the computer in our bedroom at the end of the hall. Because of how our desk is positioned, I could only see the right side of his face.
Wait. Are those tears? And is he smiling? What on earth is he looking at?
I start to walk faster. “Honey? Are you okay? What’s going on?”.
He doesn’t say a word, he just looks up at me and points to the computer screen in front of him. There, I see this picture:
It was a photo of a child that had just been transferred to the Angel House from the local social services building. His name is Steevenson– spelled like Haitians spell it with three “E”s. After a quick glance up at the menu bar at the top of the screen, I realize Kevin is on Three Angel’s Children’s Relief’s Facebook page. (Three Angels had just accepted our application around that time, so we spent a lot of time scrolling through their past posts and checking their page for updates.)
As we scrolled through the rest of the photos in Steevenson’s online album, I am also moved to tears.
Oh, that baby! So confused and scared. So clearly malnourished. At 18 months, his legs are much too small to support the rest of his weight so he sits frozen atop a steel medical table, his eyeballs the only things that move from photo to precious photo. Oh, that face! So sweet and gorgeous. I was captivated by his kewpie doll features; his button nose and pillowy lips. His big, wide-set eyes…with their ebony corneas. They’re like windows to his tender soul. I can tell he really hopes these new people mean well.
The silence that followed feels tactile. Kevin finally breaks it by revealing that he thinks we’re supposed to be open…open to both genders.
At that point, we…well, I had decided that because of my Palendromic Rheumatism and the absence of cartilage in my most-used joints, I couldn’t keep up with a boy. I had convinced myself (and my husband) that a boy would require more bending and lifting and physical activity than I was able to do. So, still clearly unable to understand how the God of the Universe works, I checked only the “girl” box on our adoption paperwork, and immediately started buying cute little 3T dresses.
But here was this little boy. Looking so alone and so…sonny.
Kevin’s voice is low and waveless when he says he thinks we should pray about also checking the boy box. And by “we should pray”, I know that he means “I think we’ve still got some surrendering to do”. This is the beauty of Kevin. He is sensitive and insightful. Palpably tethered to the Spirit that guides him from within.
24 hours later, we call our adoption caseworker. We sit sweaty together on our end of the speakerphone, hoping she won’t receive our news as indecisiveness. (We hadn’t finished our home study yet and we still had a 600-question psychological exam ahead of us to assure them we were capable of making good decisions- ha!)
We share with her that God used a photo of a little boy to remind us that we hadn’t fully surrendered to His will, and that we think He’s encouraging us to be open to either gender.
She quickly explains that this is wonderful news because it will make for a quicker match. She explained that there were many more boys than girls at the Angel House, so being open to adopting a son would probably lead to a faster match. And then she said this: “It also means he is probably already there”.
My heart began to hammer hard inside my chest.
Will we be matched with a BOY and could he be one of the boys in this photo we were just looking at the day before?
Our minds raced as we looked at all their sweet little faces.
Now this is where the story gets really cool.
5 months later we received a call that our dossier would be entering the Haitian adoption process along with the dossier of the child they had chosen for us.
THEY CHOSE STEEVENSON’S DOSSIER and 15 months later, WE WERE OFFICIALLY MATCHED WITH HIM!
And now here we are, exactly 1 after that, and I am SO excited to introduce you to our son: Steevenson Chevalier Palmer!!!
I call him “Sonny” for short. 🙂
Even though we didn’t know it at the time, I firmly believe that the reason Kevin was moved so deeply the day he saw Steevenson’s photo is because he was looking into the eyes of his son. The same reason I knew within seconds that we would be checking the boy box the following day. Everything inside me said “open up…”. It was the same familiar whisper that said “adoption”, and “international”, and “Lifeline Children’s Services”, and “Haiti”, and “Three Angels Children’s Relief”.
It can be scary to follow God’s lead without knowing where He’s sending you (or who He’s sending you to!). It can be uncomfortable to wait for God’s timing without knowing when it will come. Challenging to expect miracles without knowing how God will provide. Intimidating to trust God’s purpose without understanding all of the circumstances. But that kind of surrender will change your life in the most unimaginable ways, y’all. I can promise you that! 🙂
PS- Our babe’s birth surname used to be Chevalier (which means “gallant or chivalrous gentleman” and is pronounced shuh–volly-ay) so we just skooched it over and made it his middle name. I’ll be back with some more photos and videos of him in action later this week!
I’m excited to see his sweet face!!! Congrats you, THREE! ❤️
Tears of joy for you and your Sonny boy, Kevin and Layla! God is so faithful and your testimony to that fact will win hearts and souls for Jesus. ?
Congratulations Palmer Family!! It’s wonderful to see all of the well wishers commenting and expressing their joy for you all…we’ve all been waiting with you..waiting to open our email and see that you will be together. My nieces have both adopted a son and when they were officially theirs it was called their “Forever Family Day”. They celebrate it every year!
God Bless
So so so happy for you Layla & Kevin!! Your little boy is beautiful and I can only imagine how overjoyed you must be!
I’m not sure I’ve ever commented…yes, I guess you could label me a stalker…but this post moved me to tears. It’s way too long a story to share here, but under similar God instances our daughter and son in law adopted a sweet toddler girl from Uganda. Praying more blessings on you and Kevin…and patience once Sonny is in his new home…and grace and mercy. Adoption is difficult….but I’m pretty sure God often feels that way about me sometimes…His adopted daughter. ? Much love to you.
Congratulations! That is amazing news. He is so precious!
Layla and Kevin – Congratulations Mommy and Daddy. I have tears of joy for all 3 of you. You are truly blessed. XO
Haha! I am so excited for you! What a beautiful family you three are. I know the feeling of looking at a photo and just knowing. It happened to us last year with our dog who we rescued. I am the mother of four boys and I can tell you that raising a boy us the best thing in the world because they love their momma’s so. Congrats again! Can’t wait until he’s home! ❤️❤️❤️
So happy for y’all! What joy to be able to share your sweet boy’s face! God is GOOD!
So so happy for you guys!!!
Congratulations! I have enjoyed reading this story and see it unfold and see the hand of God working. Awesome God!!!
So very, very happy for all of you. Love the family photo!!
So amazing! So very happy/grateful for you all! Congratulations Palmer Family!! ???
Thank you Lord for answered prayer. <3
Congratulations dear Layla and Kevin! I’m very very happy for all of you, but specially for your Sweet P! You have follow your inner voice of Love and will give this sweet little boy now, the safety of a home and the heartiness of a family. Thank you very much for that! I think, that not every adoptive parents are per se loving parents, but I’m sure you will be the very best ones for him! I follow your blog quietly and from the distance, since many years, and I do it, not just because you are so talented by renovating and decorating, but specially because of the love, the positivism and the spirituality you spread out through it. God bless everyone of you and your little wonderful family! (Sorry about my not very good English! 🙂 )
Congrats! He’s beautiful and his smile fits right into your family!
Oh my goodness, crying over here! Sooooo happy for you three! He’s so adorable and you three are beaming!
I’m so, so happy for you. I’ve been following your story and it is a joy that you are now a family of three. Wishing you abundant blessings and a life of happiness with your son.
That is wonderful news!!! It is so great to finally be able to meet him and see his sweet face! Congrats!!! <3
Oh Layla!! He is just the most precious thing & I’m so so excited for you!! This is a joy-FULL day!
So excited and happy for you guys! Those little hands peeking out of your hair and around Kevin’s neck are just the sweetest sight!
Congratulations also to Sonny for getting the most amazing parents!
How wonderful to be able to look back and see how God worked all things together…when it is sometimes hard to see when it is happening on a day-to-day basis. But the two of you are also sensitive to His gentle leading. Congratulation on the culmination of the big legal process. The ONLY thing better will be when you have him in your home full time! Thanks for sharing the journey. I love the smiles of joy on all three of your faces.
Congratulations seems the appropriate word, but really, my heart is full to overflowing with this post. How many prayers I’ve lifted up for the three of you. How many times I’ve checked to see if “there’s any news for Kevin and Layla.” How much a part of my prayer and faith life you’ve become. It’s just amazing news….finally!!!! Congratulations!!!
Congratulations Family of 3!!!!
What a beautiful family! We’ve been fostering our three year old daughter for almost two years, waiting and hoping we get to adopt her. I dream of the day I can post her photos. I’m so happy for you.
Congratulations! This brought tears to my eyes too. What a cutie!
Tears of joy!!! Your post… his face…. both so beautiful! He is just as I imagined! No words adequate. 🙂 Giving thanks to the Lord today!
I’m thrilled for you. Sonny looks so happy. I hope the transition for all of you will be easy! I also want to thank you for what I feel was inspired writing in your second to last paragraph about trusting God’s leadership. It was exactly what I needed to read today.
Doing the happy dance with you!
He is so precious! I’m so very happy for you!
Congratulations!!!!! God’s plans are perfect plans.
I am jumping for joy for you…..your Sonny is adorable!
Wow, I know we all feel like in some way we have traveled this road with you all. Very small way. I have never had to wait for so long for such a big blessing but you have shown me that if YOU can wait for this, I can wait for my prayers to be answered. I am so impatient and selfish. Thank you for reminding me how GREAT God is and to surrender!
Love, love, love, Sarah, Ontario, Canada
Hallelujah!! I’m so happy for you! ♥♥♥
Stop it stop it stop it!
We get to see a photo!?!??!?!?!
Oh, your Sonny is beautiful and I’m all amuss at my desk.
So so SO happy for all three of you! What an amazing gift from God. Both the work He’s done in your hearts through the process and of course that sweet, sweet boy!
Trying not to cry at my desk- it’s not working! So happy for y’all, it’s so wonderful to see the three of you together! Prayers that the next steps will move swiftly.
What wonderful news to hear this morning. What a blessing for all of you.
So pleased to see a picture of your beautiful family! Tears here too !
Congratulations! This picture brought a tear to my eye as I sat at my computer. You’re a beautiful family!
Happiest news!! Sweetest picture!!! So happy for the three of you!!! ?
I scrolled through my email while waiting in line to drop my kids off to school. “Meet our sonny” …cue hard lump in throat, welling eyes and tears of joy for you. My kiddos wondering if their mom has officially lost it? What a great way to start a Monday morning! So so happy for you and to finally see that sweet little face.
Congratulations! So happy for all of you. I had been checking here twice a day since the mix up, hoping to see this post.
I KNEW your boy was Steevenson way back, somehow. I would often look at that group photo of those babes and try to guess which one would be a Palmer, and my eyes always went to Steevenson. Guess God was telling me he’s the one, IDK. But I am so bursting with joy for you!
Don’t worry about keeping up with a boy – our grand-boys are very patient with my slower pace, and don’t seem to mind waiting for me to catch up. And they also were less inclined to be held and picked up just when they got too heavy for me, but always wanted to be in my lap!
Oh my!!! Congratulations and what a beautiful little boy. So happy for all of you 🙂
Hallelujah! So happy for you! Blessings on all of you as you enter the next phase of your journey as a family.
Congratulations! What a beautiful story. Enjoy your family. God bless all of you.
Praise the Lord! He never fails, and He is always on time.
May God bless your family. May his face shine bright upon you. He has answered your prayers!
I am so thrilled for your family! Thanks for sharing your adoption journey and now your son’s beautiful face!! Your post brought tears to my eyes this morning.
So very happy for you all. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad………..a beautiful son. Many, many blessings.