“Before, I wanted to say: “I found love!” But now, I want to say: “I found a person. And he belongs to me and I belong to him.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Y’all! We got the revised copy of our adoption decree on Friday so I can share our baby’s name and photo today!
Our caseworker, Meredith, sent a copy of the decree to my email just before 6pm that day. I was home alone at the time, and never have I ever wanted to hug a person so hard in my life! I went out on the front porch and just smiled at the stars. Kevin got home from church about an hour later and it was SO FUN seeing him for the “first time” again. 😀
A couple of our sweet Connect Group families rushed outside their homes to celebrate with us, and then we went out for a late dinner at our favorite Japanese place. As I sat there, with my puffy, cried-out eyes, dunking deep-fried sushi roll slices in yum-yum sauce, I couldn’t get over how ethereal the whole experience felt. I kept asking our friends, “Did that really just happen? Did I really just see his new name? Am I really awake right now?”.
For three and a half years, I had been visualizing that night. The one where I’m sitting at Miyako Japanese Steak & Sushi, celebrating the 72 pages that say we’re officially a family of three. And then all of a sudden- WHOOSH. I’m there. Sitting at a thickly-lacquered pine table, between Kevin and Juju, and across from Mati, Suzanne and Billy. We’re eating edamame, and pouring soy sauce into tiny, footed trays. We were slurping on salty, chicken broth soup and celebrating the official stamps and signatures that deem our boy legally our son.
It was June of 2013 the first time I saw my son’s face. (Side note: it just occurred to me that “June” was my ‘Word of the Year’ in 2013. I chose it It chose me in December of 2012. Hmm. Very interesting.) I was coming up the stairs when I noticed Kevin sitting at the computer in our bedroom at the end of the hall. Because of how our desk is positioned, I could only see the right side of his face.
Wait. Are those tears? And is he smiling? What on earth is he looking at?
I start to walk faster. “Honey? Are you okay? What’s going on?”.
He doesn’t say a word, he just looks up at me and points to the computer screen in front of him. There, I see this picture:
It was a photo of a child that had just been transferred to the Angel House from the local social services building. His name is Steevenson– spelled like Haitians spell it with three “E”s. After a quick glance up at the menu bar at the top of the screen, I realize Kevin is on Three Angel’s Children’s Relief’s Facebook page. (Three Angels had just accepted our application around that time, so we spent a lot of time scrolling through their past posts and checking their page for updates.)
As we scrolled through the rest of the photos in Steevenson’s online album, I am also moved to tears.
Oh, that baby! So confused and scared. So clearly malnourished. At 18 months, his legs are much too small to support the rest of his weight so he sits frozen atop a steel medical table, his eyeballs the only things that move from photo to precious photo. Oh, that face! So sweet and gorgeous. I was captivated by his kewpie doll features; his button nose and pillowy lips. His big, wide-set eyes…with their ebony corneas. They’re like windows to his tender soul. I can tell he really hopes these new people mean well.
The silence that followed feels tactile. Kevin finally breaks it by revealing that he thinks we’re supposed to be open…open to both genders.
At that point, we…well, I had decided that because of my Palendromic Rheumatism and the absence of cartilage in my most-used joints, I couldn’t keep up with a boy. I had convinced myself (and my husband) that a boy would require more bending and lifting and physical activity than I was able to do. So, still clearly unable to understand how the God of the Universe works, I checked only the “girl” box on our adoption paperwork, and immediately started buying cute little 3T dresses.
But here was this little boy. Looking so alone and so…sonny.
Kevin’s voice is low and waveless when he says he thinks we should pray about also checking the boy box. And by “we should pray”, I know that he means “I think we’ve still got some surrendering to do”. This is the beauty of Kevin. He is sensitive and insightful. Palpably tethered to the Spirit that guides him from within.
24 hours later, we call our adoption caseworker. We sit sweaty together on our end of the speakerphone, hoping she won’t receive our news as indecisiveness. (We hadn’t finished our home study yet and we still had a 600-question psychological exam ahead of us to assure them we were capable of making good decisions- ha!)
We share with her that God used a photo of a little boy to remind us that we hadn’t fully surrendered to His will, and that we think He’s encouraging us to be open to either gender.
She quickly explains that this is wonderful news because it will make for a quicker match. She explained that there were many more boys than girls at the Angel House, so being open to adopting a son would probably lead to a faster match. And then she said this: “It also means he is probably already there”.
My heart began to hammer hard inside my chest.
Will we be matched with a BOY and could he be one of the boys in this photo we were just looking at the day before?
Our minds raced as we looked at all their sweet little faces.
Now this is where the story gets really cool.
5 months later we received a call that our dossier would be entering the Haitian adoption process along with the dossier of the child they had chosen for us.
THEY CHOSE STEEVENSON’S DOSSIER and 15 months later, WE WERE OFFICIALLY MATCHED WITH HIM!
And now here we are, exactly 1 after that, and I am SO excited to introduce you to our son: Steevenson Chevalier Palmer!!!
I call him “Sonny” for short. 🙂
Even though we didn’t know it at the time, I firmly believe that the reason Kevin was moved so deeply the day he saw Steevenson’s photo is because he was looking into the eyes of his son. The same reason I knew within seconds that we would be checking the boy box the following day. Everything inside me said “open up…”. It was the same familiar whisper that said “adoption”, and “international”, and “Lifeline Children’s Services”, and “Haiti”, and “Three Angels Children’s Relief”.
It can be scary to follow God’s lead without knowing where He’s sending you (or who He’s sending you to!). It can be uncomfortable to wait for God’s timing without knowing when it will come. Challenging to expect miracles without knowing how God will provide. Intimidating to trust God’s purpose without understanding all of the circumstances. But that kind of surrender will change your life in the most unimaginable ways, y’all. I can promise you that! 🙂
PS- Our babe’s birth surname used to be Chevalier (which means “gallant or chivalrous gentleman” and is pronounced shuh–volly-ay) so we just skooched it over and made it his middle name. I’ll be back with some more photos and videos of him in action later this week!
YAY! Thank you Jesus! I wish I could just squeeze you all! I am so happy for you and so excited that you shared this wonderful news! Congratulations!!! And I hope that one day I get to meet your little Sonny! My boys would LOVE playing trucks with him 🙂
xo – kb
Oh Layla!!!!! He is absolutely PERFECT! I’M in LOVE from all the way over here!
Excuse me… there’s something in my eye(s)…
Congratulations! And I can’t wait to say that again once he’s come home.
Rambling… but even his NAME is gorgeous! I just love how God works…
I’m struggling to find the right words to express how happy I am for you guys! He is adorable, and you look so beautiful together!
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate that you have reached this milestone before looking forward to the next step!
Hugs from Norway.
Gry
Congratulations!!! He just shines in your arms and his smile beams joy – just like the sun – his name “Sonny” is so fitting! Thanks for sharing your journey, this exciting news and him, with us! So happy for all of you!
Congratulations! I am delighted for the three of you. I am sitting on a commuter train into London with a huge grin on my face! I truly hope that you get to bring him home soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this last part of the adoption process.
What a beautiful boy. I am so, so happy for you.
I don’t know what to say, words seem so impotent.
He’s beautiful; you make such a beautiful family.
I’m almost crying; I feel such a relief to know that he’s now yours and you are his.
I wish I could hug you all. X
I have been following your adoption journey from the beginning and the last few weeks I have been checking daily for updates. This is the most wonderful news and I had a tear in my eye as I read your post. He is such a gorgeous litte boy and lucky to have you both as his parents. Congratulations.
I am SO happy for you 🙂
How amazing! I am crying happy tears for you guys. I can’t wait to see his come home video!
What a stunning photo of your beautiful family. So amazing how God opened your heart for Sonny and now he is finally there with you. Praise be to God
Congratulations! He is adorable!!!
Oh, Layla, Layla, Layla! How LONG I’ve been quietly reading your posts, waiting and hoping, and sending you, Kevin and “Sweet P” I don’t know how many virtual hugs. When this post popped up and I saw the picture I shouted for joy. I am so very happy for all of you. Congratulations – sending so much love to you all!!! <3
Sitting alone in my living room with my coffee this morning and I just saw your post & said “YES!”. From this stranger on the other side of the continent (in Canada) , I’m so happy for you all & hoping your baby will soon be with you!
Omg! Omg! Omg!! I am so so so happy for you and Kevin! I have followed your adoption story from day one and finally I have seen your son’s beautiful face.
Your lives have changed forever – you are in for the toughest, happiest, loneliest, funnest, most frustrating, joyful, hardest and most rewarding times of your life that you wouldnt change for the world.
Hmm, my eyes are leaking…
I am so happy for all of you! A beautiful post and a beautiful boy. Congratulations.
A match made in heaven right there Layla….. here’s hoping you are on a flight to bring him to sweet home Alabama soon.
I am beyond thrilled to finally see Sonny’s sweet face! He truly looks like he belongs!
I’m so thrilled to meet Sonny P! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! Congratulations !!!
Baaaaah! Squealing inside over here for you!! What a story! Thank you for sharing…. You three are a bel fanmi. ❤️ (My Kreyol is horrible but you get it.) ?
OH, so happy for you!
Congratulations!!!
WELCOME HOME SONNY!!!!! You are SOOO loved by SO many more than you even know at this time. 🙂 Your mom and dad …. they are they best!!! Now on to the adventure!!! 🙂
Hugs from Florida, Christina
Oh boy. No pun intended. Tears are trickling down my face right now. So incredibly touching. Congratulations and blessings to you both! Absolutely wonderful news. Enjoy every moment.
Pure joy! Congratulations and thanks for making my day!
Wonderful, just wonderful…every second of the journey it took for you to find your sweet son. Prayers that he will be in your arms and home soon. What a happy family picture you posted. I’m just overjoyed for you all!
I am so happy to finally meet Steevenson!!
Very happy for all of you!! Congratulations!!
He is ADORABLE!!!! Happy tears for you, such a beautiful family. ??? I love his name and nickname too. Congratulations!!!
PS….I just love how Kevin knew! Surely had an angel whispering in his ear that night. God bless!
Blessed are those…
Congratulations!
HAPPY TEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE’S BEAUTIFUL!
My goodness, the three of you make such a beautiful, joyful, happy family! My joy for all of you is bursting…just bursting. Congratulations!
I was moved to tears of joyfulness upon seeing your family portrait. What a special child he is, what lucky and blessed parents you are. Congratulations!
Layla and Kevin…
You made it!!!! You trusted, you perserveired, you opened your minds and hearts and you were ever so patient.
Your son is beautiful and he will forever be loved and cared for my you both, his mommy and poppa.
You will know and experience the most purest joy and love ever.
It’s like that wonderful story book says
“I love you forever. I love you for always. As long as I’m living. My baby you”ll be.
Congrats on you new journey in life. I fell in love with you 9 years ago when I discovered The Lettered Cottage and I can’t wait to take this new adventure with your new beautiful family.
Love, big hugs and many prayers.
Such a handsome young man! So happy to finally see his face, CONGRATULATIONS!
Congratulations!! I was just delighted to find this in my feed this morning. He is simply precious. So so happy for your family!
The most beautiful family portrait! I am rejoicing with you and Kevin and Sonny. A family is born. I love the look on all your faces, but there is something particularly moving in Kevin’s as he holds his son. I’m so happy for you all. Praise and thanksgiving.
So excited for you. Thank you for sharing your experience. Your happily ever after is waiting! Congratulations!
What a beautiful story. I love your reliance on the Holy Spirit. What a blessing for your family.
By the way…my sister-in-laws maiden name is LeChevalier so I knew exactly how to pronounce that!
Layla, I have tears of joy for you guys! LOVE this post. Congratulations, Mama! Sonny is one beautiful boy. xx
Congrats. How wonderful. I am adopted and thank you for doing this for this young man. Love happens. Deep love. The best to you Mom and Dad.
Hurrah!!! What a cutie! 🙂 I am so thrilled for you, Kevin and your Sonny! xx
I am so very thrilled for y’all! Our God is Great, all the time God is Great!! Congratulations! I was trying my best to briefly share the your adoption story with my husband a few minutes ago and couldn’t speak for crying! It has been a long journey that I’ve followed here on your blog. How exciting to finally see Sweet P’s face this morning. He is quite a cute little man! I look forward to continuing to read the Palmer family story!
What a beautiful FAMILY! Congratulations to all of you! I love hearing stories like yours…God is so amazing.
Coming out of the woodwork to say “Congrats!!!!” So happy for you and that the end is in sight and you will soon have your baby in your arms!! I have a friend who just started adopting a Downs Syndrome girl from China about 3 months ago, so this makes me happy! 🙂
Layla and Kevin, I am so over the moon happy for you and for Sonny! Your love for him has shown through in every post you write and it is an absolute joy to see you all together. Congratulations.
Now excuse me while I get a tissue.
This has been such a beautiful story of love. Thank you for sharing it with the world. When I went through IVF publicly on my blog, it was one of the hardest AND most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I know it helped so many! And luckily, like you, we had a beautiful outcome too. Cypress was born on 2/23/15! 🙂
Thank You Lord for bringing this amazing family together! I am so happy for you all. What a blessing! He is adorable, amazing smile! I have tears of joy for you guys!
Oh so happy for you all!!!! He is so precious and this eyes and smile!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh my gosh, congratulations!!! I burst into tears the moment I clicked on your post. I guessed it might be Steevenson a long time ago when you posted the video of the children dancing and mentioned that Sweet P had perfect rhthym – he was really in tune to the music! So very happy for the three of you!!!!
wow! I’m moved to tears! So excited for you all! Such a handsome boy and now a beautiful family!!! God bless you and thank you for showing us what being patient and waiting on God truly means❤️
Congratulations on becoming a family! What a beautiful little boy!
Thank you so much for sharing this journey with everyone. He may not realize yet just how big his family is, I think everyone that reads your blog has been falling in love with him and feels like we are a little part of his story.
All along I have known it was Steevenson, when you started calling him Sweet Pea I put it together that these would be his initials. It came down to Samuel or Steevenson but something in Steevenson eyes just looked like a Palmer. 😉
I couldn’t be more excited for you to bring him home and tuck him into to sleep for the first time his new bed. Oh, the wonderful adventures you will explore all together.