“Before, I wanted to say: “I found love!” But now, I want to say: “I found a person. And he belongs to me and I belong to him.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Y’all! We got the revised copy of our adoption decree on Friday so I can share our baby’s name and photo today!
Our caseworker, Meredith, sent a copy of the decree to my email just before 6pm that day. I was home alone at the time, and never have I ever wanted to hug a person so hard in my life! I went out on the front porch and just smiled at the stars. Kevin got home from church about an hour later and it was SO FUN seeing him for the “first time” again. 😀
A couple of our sweet Connect Group families rushed outside their homes to celebrate with us, and then we went out for a late dinner at our favorite Japanese place. As I sat there, with my puffy, cried-out eyes, dunking deep-fried sushi roll slices in yum-yum sauce, I couldn’t get over how ethereal the whole experience felt. I kept asking our friends, “Did that really just happen? Did I really just see his new name? Am I really awake right now?”.
For three and a half years, I had been visualizing that night. The one where I’m sitting at Miyako Japanese Steak & Sushi, celebrating the 72 pages that say we’re officially a family of three. And then all of a sudden- WHOOSH. I’m there. Sitting at a thickly-lacquered pine table, between Kevin and Juju, and across from Mati, Suzanne and Billy. We’re eating edamame, and pouring soy sauce into tiny, footed trays. We were slurping on salty, chicken broth soup and celebrating the official stamps and signatures that deem our boy legally our son.
It was June of 2013 the first time I saw my son’s face. (Side note: it just occurred to me that “June” was my ‘Word of the Year’ in 2013. I chose it It chose me in December of 2012. Hmm. Very interesting.) I was coming up the stairs when I noticed Kevin sitting at the computer in our bedroom at the end of the hall. Because of how our desk is positioned, I could only see the right side of his face.
Wait. Are those tears? And is he smiling? What on earth is he looking at?
I start to walk faster. “Honey? Are you okay? What’s going on?”.
He doesn’t say a word, he just looks up at me and points to the computer screen in front of him. There, I see this picture:
It was a photo of a child that had just been transferred to the Angel House from the local social services building. His name is Steevenson– spelled like Haitians spell it with three “E”s. After a quick glance up at the menu bar at the top of the screen, I realize Kevin is on Three Angel’s Children’s Relief’s Facebook page. (Three Angels had just accepted our application around that time, so we spent a lot of time scrolling through their past posts and checking their page for updates.)
As we scrolled through the rest of the photos in Steevenson’s online album, I am also moved to tears.
Oh, that baby! So confused and scared. So clearly malnourished. At 18 months, his legs are much too small to support the rest of his weight so he sits frozen atop a steel medical table, his eyeballs the only things that move from photo to precious photo. Oh, that face! So sweet and gorgeous. I was captivated by his kewpie doll features; his button nose and pillowy lips. His big, wide-set eyes…with their ebony corneas. They’re like windows to his tender soul. I can tell he really hopes these new people mean well.
The silence that followed feels tactile. Kevin finally breaks it by revealing that he thinks we’re supposed to be open…open to both genders.
At that point, we…well, I had decided that because of my Palendromic Rheumatism and the absence of cartilage in my most-used joints, I couldn’t keep up with a boy. I had convinced myself (and my husband) that a boy would require more bending and lifting and physical activity than I was able to do. So, still clearly unable to understand how the God of the Universe works, I checked only the “girl” box on our adoption paperwork, and immediately started buying cute little 3T dresses.
But here was this little boy. Looking so alone and so…sonny.
Kevin’s voice is low and waveless when he says he thinks we should pray about also checking the boy box. And by “we should pray”, I know that he means “I think we’ve still got some surrendering to do”. This is the beauty of Kevin. He is sensitive and insightful. Palpably tethered to the Spirit that guides him from within.
24 hours later, we call our adoption caseworker. We sit sweaty together on our end of the speakerphone, hoping she won’t receive our news as indecisiveness. (We hadn’t finished our home study yet and we still had a 600-question psychological exam ahead of us to assure them we were capable of making good decisions- ha!)
We share with her that God used a photo of a little boy to remind us that we hadn’t fully surrendered to His will, and that we think He’s encouraging us to be open to either gender.
She quickly explains that this is wonderful news because it will make for a quicker match. She explained that there were many more boys than girls at the Angel House, so being open to adopting a son would probably lead to a faster match. And then she said this: “It also means he is probably already there”.
My heart began to hammer hard inside my chest.
Will we be matched with a BOY and could he be one of the boys in this photo we were just looking at the day before?
Our minds raced as we looked at all their sweet little faces.
Now this is where the story gets really cool.
5 months later we received a call that our dossier would be entering the Haitian adoption process along with the dossier of the child they had chosen for us.
THEY CHOSE STEEVENSON’S DOSSIER and 15 months later, WE WERE OFFICIALLY MATCHED WITH HIM!
And now here we are, exactly 1 after that, and I am SO excited to introduce you to our son: Steevenson Chevalier Palmer!!!
I call him “Sonny” for short. 🙂
Even though we didn’t know it at the time, I firmly believe that the reason Kevin was moved so deeply the day he saw Steevenson’s photo is because he was looking into the eyes of his son. The same reason I knew within seconds that we would be checking the boy box the following day. Everything inside me said “open up…”. It was the same familiar whisper that said “adoption”, and “international”, and “Lifeline Children’s Services”, and “Haiti”, and “Three Angels Children’s Relief”.
It can be scary to follow God’s lead without knowing where He’s sending you (or who He’s sending you to!). It can be uncomfortable to wait for God’s timing without knowing when it will come. Challenging to expect miracles without knowing how God will provide. Intimidating to trust God’s purpose without understanding all of the circumstances. But that kind of surrender will change your life in the most unimaginable ways, y’all. I can promise you that! 🙂
PS- Our babe’s birth surname used to be Chevalier (which means “gallant or chivalrous gentleman” and is pronounced shuh–volly-ay) so we just skooched it over and made it his middle name. I’ll be back with some more photos and videos of him in action later this week!
I can tell your heart is bursting with joy! We are celebrating along with you!!
I am so happy for all of you.
I’m sitting here at the library in tears. Enjoy every minute of your new lives!
I’m so happy for you and Kevin , my cousin and his wife from Canada, adopted a little girl from China, she was so shy, quite when she first got here. But now, she is thriving, beautiful, intelligent, so much confidence.
You and Kevin are gonna be great parents, you have so much love to give. God bless your family and thank you for sharing your experiences.
Beautiful story and boy. So happy for you! What a journey!
What a wonderful family God has created! So much joy ahead. Blessings to you all.
Awwww, I remember when you first put up the pics of the Angel Babies and I saw F.Moise and I thought what a cute but funny name, but when I looked at Steevenson I KNEW HE was the ONE! I truly did! I wish I could go back in time and show you how I reacted! He is such a cutie and one who obviously dotes and loves you both.
I am not a believer in God and I make no apologies for that, however I do believe that things happen in a karmic way to help us learn to be better people and to share love. This is a prime example of that love! I can see he is onto BIG things in the future!
Hugs and loves to you all on your new journey of adventure!
PS. Deep-fried sushi rolls?????? Only in America!!! LOL!
Love from Australia.
I thought the exact same thing, Ria, when I looked at Steevenson’s face in that collage of photos so long ago!
I, too, am not a believer, but I have felt the same emotional tug with this story of the Palmer family and how it is an example of the power of love concerning things that are beyond our control.
You and I are seeing this family with similar eyes from different parts of the world. Interesting and amazing, isn’t it?
What a beautiful family of three! Congratulations Kevin, Layla, and Steevenson!
Karla in CA
Beautiful story of God’s guidance and love. Beautiful baby boy. So happy for you.
So over the moon happy for you guys!!! 🙂
He is the cutest EVER! Congratulations! Having a son is the best!
How thrilling for you… and such a beautiful boy!
My heart is bursting for you all!!!! Your Sonny is adorable and I am so incredibly happy for you all!
So glad for you three!
He is absolutely beautiful!
I’ve been reading your blog for six years, and it truly fills my heart with joy to read today’s post each time I’s see an adoption title I would end up holding my breath to see if was finally “the” post! So happy for your family?
Yeah! What a beautiful family you make 🙂
What a beautiful family you are! My heart is pounding with excitement for you all. He is adorable.
Okay I know this sounds insane BUT, SweetP has Kevin’s smile. Seriously. I love it.
Congratulations on your new son. Adoptive parents dance on air when their children come home to them-I did with both of my sons. There are no words to describe that joy!
I’m so happy for you!
I don’t use emoticons, but picture a big smiley one with a teardrop below the right eye! What a wonderful son you have!
What a moving story of our Father’s providence! I love that you are sharing your journey with us, and oh my word, your son is so sweet!!!! Congratulations! God is GOOD.
Very happy for you guys. Its been a long wait and it was well worth it. This is a great picture of your family. Blessings to you guys. Now I’ve got to go wipe my eyes.
Anyone can have a child and call themselves “a parent”. A real parent is someone who puts that child above their all selfish needs and wants. Sonny has a REAL parent now.
Love you family and god blessing you all!
CONGRATULATONS….so very happy for you all. What a cutie pie. God Bless your new family, it is now complete.
So happy for your sweet family!
My heart is so happy for your family. I’ve been following your story throughout my own adoption journey. My son joined us through the gift of adoption just four months ago. It’s been the most joyful four months of my life. I hope the time goes quicly as you wait to finally bring your little guy home. Also, thanks to Kevin for teaching me to use my camera. I’ve been capturing so many precious memories.
This is the post we’ve all been praying for!
Congratu;ations. I am so happy for you guys.
I’m sitting here with tears of joy! I’ve been following since before adoption was even mentioned on your blog and now to read this is just pure joy! What an incredible blessing it is to have a son! The good news is that a lot of the physical play is with daddy and the cuddles are with mommy! (at least with our boys, but of course we take turns!) 🙂 Congratulations and blessings to you all!
Congratulations Kevin and Layla, I am over the moon happy for you. It’s so nice to finally meet your son.
I don’t think I’ve ever commented (maybe once). Been reading your blog for a year or two, coming from Miss Mustard Seed. It has been an interesting, heart-warming, incredible journey for you, Kevin, and the rest of your family. Thank you for putting your heart into this blog and sharing your life. This is such good news! So happy for you to finally have legal parenthood of Sweet P. After your recent sharing about some of his wonderful qualities, I think that the dignified, mature name of Steevenson fits him, although he is also always going to be Sweet P to me. Thank You, Lord, for giving Steevenson, Layla, and Kevin to each other! Congratulations to you all!
SO, so happy for the 3 of you! I keep wiping away the tears of joy.
God is sooo good!!!
Blessings and love,
Barbara
Love personified in one photo. Makes me feel so warm and cozy, maybe his nickname is spelled “Sunny”?
I just wish it were the day you bring him to his room in your home. No more waiting. He’s your son now??❤️?✝
What a blessing!! I am so happy to see the three of you together at last!!
So excited to see his sweet face along with yours! God is so amazing in how He works things out for our good. I can’t wait to read of the adventures ahead! Soon. Praying soon.
P.S. Just this week I was sharing with my youngest about his granddaddy’s nickname when he was young. My daddy is a Junior so everyone called him Sonny. Even when he went to work with the railroad it stuck because my granddaddy worked there, too. So I just want to say I love “Sonny!”
Congratulations to the both of you for your patience and longing to be parents. It is the most challenging and rewarding job (and hard) on this earth and it is an amazing feeling. Sonny is so blessed to have two parents who love him more than anything else and have waited for this day. I’m so thrilled for the both of you….you deserve to be parents.
Congratulations….
Your child is so beautiful. I am so happy to see his face. Your child. I look forward to seeing pictures of him in your beautiful home. And your in-laws moving in. What a family you are building!
Good Morning Layla! Just reading this now! Congrats to you all!!! I have tears of joy running down my face! So happy this day has finally come…now to get him HOME!! God’s timing is always perfect. Thank you both for sharing your story with us and leading by example what happens when we truly surrender to His voice. God bless you and your dear sweet family. ??? Sending you much love and big hugs,
Andi @crookedcreekcottage
Bravo!
So excited for you both!! A happy day for sure. The birth of your family of three. ? I absolutely love the very last pic and will be praying for y’all to be able to bring home soon.
There are no words to express the joy, excitement, and thrill we feel for you all in this moment. What a marvelous journey. Hosanna!
Love, Jana
Blessings to you : ) So happy the day is finally here for you !!!!! Thanks for sharing the journey. Janita
Oh Layla, you are going to be FIGHTING the girls off that beautiful boy. Look at those beautiful eyes …
Congratulations!
One more congrats sent your way. You were meant to be together. I hope he is home with you soon. Such a long process..
I am sooooooo ecstatic for you guys!! Thank you, Jesus!
Oh, Layla, he’s beautiful! I am just overwhelmed. Such a beautiful story. These three and 1/2 years have been so long. I can’t imagine how much your arms just ache to hold him! I pray he’s in your lap in Alabama very soon!!
You are the most stunningly beautiful person, inside and out. Congratulations!! He looks SO happy to be with you and Kevin.
I don’t know what is going on this week first a good friend is celebration his “Gotchs Day” and later on that day I talk to my best friend who also was adopted like me. We grew up together!! Then I see this post on Suzanne’s page and just gotta say WOW!!! As an “Adopted” child I would like to say “Thank-You” for having the Courage Strength to seek out and pray for “Sonny”. I look back at my “Life Path” and see the lords hand on it.
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 2, 4 Says – There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.
We dance with ya’ll and Sonny!!! Later on his life he’ll Thank you for the Gift of his Life.
This is a poem that hangs at my parents house.
Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still, miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute, you didn’t grow under my heart, but in it. – Fleur Conkiling Hegliger