“Love to be real, it must cost.
It must empty us of self.”
―Mother Teresa
***
“You know that Love looks like something, right? ”
“It does”, Pastor Tommy said at church last week. “Love is action…and it usually costs us something.”
And with that, my pen flew into high gear. I couldn’t scribble the words down fast enough. They felt like a spark inside my heart, and I wanted to think a lot more about them.
What does love look like?
Man did that question stir up a lot of great conversations around here this past week! Seems like most folks (myself included) feel like their idea of what love looks like has changed quite a bit over the years. (How could it not, right?)
These days, I think love looks like a pivot point. One from which every decision I make, and every action I take, should be based.
It looks like actions without expectations.
Like joy in others…the kind that feels essential to our own.
It looks like a wider margin, freed up for things that didn’t used to fit.
It looks like a nature changed.
A promise kept.
Like a handed-over heart.
A held-fast hope.
It looks like patience, personified.
Like hanging on and hoisting up.
Like the glue that holds life and faith together.
Like a first precious glimpse of Heaven.
***
Everybody is going to have their own version of what love looks like to them, but I think it’s so fascinating to realize that it all boils down to the same thing, don’t you? #sacrifice
I look for it everywhere lately.
Do you see it here? In a breath, taken away because he gets to share his life with her…
(source)
Do you see it here? Standing in awe, and singing for Him…
Do see it here? In a commitment that was built to laugh…and last… 😉
Do you see it here? In the time he spent away from the part of his heart he hadn’t met yet?
Do you see it here? Where the sun meets the Son…
I’d love to hear what love looks like to you if you feel like sharing in the comment section below. Maybe it looks like a Bible verse, a memory, or something happening in front of you right now. Whatever it is, I’d love to hear about it. 🙂 And for those of you on Instagram, I thought maybe we could share photos of what love looks like over there today, too. (Just use the hashtag #WhatLoveLooksLike and we’ll all be able to connect.) I texted some friends yesterday and told them to send me a photo of what love looked like to them, right at that exact moment, and it was so sweet to see their hearts pop up on my screen in that way!
Love y’all,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.“
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love this idea. I’ll definetly be keeping my eyes out for what love looks like and posting on Instagram. Love is beautiful!!
🙂
Love is giving and not expecting anything in return. Love is that feeling every time I look at my children and feel such a warm glow in my heart. I could go on and on . . .
Thank you for this post. You are a brilliant writer and your words really affected me today. 🙂
Your comment brought with it a tear, Debbie. Love looks like a kind comment…that floated in while I was asleep. Thank you for the warm wake-up! 🙂 XO
The adult child that calls his/her mother for no reason.
The smile on someones face when you enter the room.
The extra long hug.
Being there to listen, when you have no words to offer.
Those are SUCH great examples of what love looks like, Bernie! Thank you so much for sharing them here with us! XO
One that always makes me think, “Love is a verb, not a noun…”
Oooh! That is so true, Gina!! 😀
Thank you Layla – that was beautiful.
Thank YOU, Carol. I appreciate your comment, and hope you see lots of Love today! 🙂
This is the best writing I’ve seen from you, ever! I’m so thankful that you share your gift 🙂
Thank you, Adrianne 🙂 This one took several days to complete, but I don’t think I have ever felt more passionate about a post! I’m so thankful you enjoyed reading it, and I am very grateful for your e-friendship. XO
thank you ! I have spent the last few days being very hurried and worried about getting things done and how can we do this and that and your post this morning put it all in perspective. more time spent at what love looks like is just what I need right now
I’m with you, Kathi. High five to spending more time looking like Love, less time hurry-worrying! 😀
Beautiul Layla. I love how you captured the idea with the photos you included and our words describing each. And to have taken this idea that sparked you in such a way….. You have such an amazing heart and soul. You are truly special. 🙂 Thanks for bringing this idea to our hearts and minds.
Kristin, you are just so sweet! I want you to know that I have realized that I instantly smile when I see your name pop up in my comment thread. YOU are truly special, my friend! XO
The photo with the older couple on the hammock–we call those “smiling eyes”. 🙂 My oldest daughter has them. The rest is in an email to you but THANK YOU for sharing of yourself, your ideas, your joyful heart. You bless so many with your love for life. Your comment made my day!
Love is … our precious life!
Amazing pics that certainly make you think. For me, love is long talks with my honey, him asking “how can I help you?” or with his bad cold this week saying “I hate not being able to give you a hug or kiss.”
Aside from my main man, these days when my grandma with dementia smiles at me like a part of her heart still remembers me, it brings me to tears.
Anele! Good morning! 😀
Love DEFINITELY looks like long talks with my honey, too. The sharing of our time and attention is such a beautiful way to love.
And your sweet Grandma…bless her heart! I can just imagine how that smile lights up the room for you! XO
Love looks like Luke 22:42. “Not my will, but thine, be done.”
YES, Mary Anne!! You inspired me to post more…
“Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”
Thank you for directing us straight to that passage, Mary Anne. XO
For me, it’s a reminder that being in his will isn’t necessarily about our comfort but rather his purpose, his plan. Loving others may come at a great cost. We may have to give up our will, comfort and convienence and yet let it be our heart’s cry, “Not my will but thine be done.” It was me he was loving in that moment..and you. At a great cost. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 I’m so very thankful to be his friend.
This is beautiful, Mary Anne, and so what I needed to read today. I am going to write out your words so I can keep pondering them today.
Thank you for a beautiful post. I was painfully reminded this weekend of what love does NOT look like. Your words brought me hope and focus on the future. Love looks like people sharing their gifts with the world.
Love, for me, is that acknowledgement that just…right now…,,,my heart is full to the brim.. We have a saying in our family, “I just love right now” that captures and acknowledges those special moments of feeling God’s grace surrounding us at an exact moment. And, being God’s grace, it comes unbidden and perfect for the moment. We use this phrase often; it’s understood perfectly by all of us. And, in reading your amazing post this morning, I gave thanks for YOU. And felt my heart fill. And I thought, “I just love right now.” Thank you, my friend-I-haven’t-met-yet.
The ultimate love is His, Romans 5:8 “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That is love. Love is a piece of your heart outside your body in the form of two children you would die for, and watching those children grow up and move on with their lives even though it breaks your heart. Love is helping your son refinish hardwood floors and paint his first house and wanting it to take forever so that he spends one more night at home knowing that when he moves out, he will never move back in. Love is smiling and acting excited that your 18 year old daughter is going away to college in 6 weeks when you just want to lock her in her room and turn back the clock 15 years. Love is my husband telling me that he loves me and I am beautiful two days before my 50th birthday. Love is going to see my 100 year old grandmother in the nursing home, and telling her I love her, even though she has no idea who I am. Love is a gift. A gift that is sometimes overwhelming. But such a blessing. I am loved, and I love so many people. I love my Savior. LOVE!!!!!
As a mama of both adult married children with teenagers still at home, it looks like grasping the moments that are flying through our hands. I have been homeschooling for 20 years and have 3 more to go and it seems like both an eternity and just seconds. My oldest daughter is pregnant and love looks like that sweet little bulge that will bring me my first grandbaby. I instagrammed a picture of my oldest two in innertubes floating lazily in the lake at our 4th of July family get together. Just seeing them together, a slice of time harkening back to their growing up days, warmed my heart. But love also looks like the years we’ve sacrificed over our adopted children helping them heal their wounded hearts. Our path has been so life shatteringly difficult at times but as my youngest two raised their hands in worship yesterday I knew that it was ALL GOD and it was good.
Love is a lot of things. But right now love is commitment and strength. My husband is going through a difficult time and I could easily walk away but love keeps me here. He is a great man with many gifts to share with the world, he just can’t see that right now. Love is sharing my strength (and the strength of God) with him.
Favorite ever. In the history of the world. This is why I love YOU so much.
When I told my 13 year old son that I loved him (expecting no reply) and he replied, “Love you too, Mom”.
Your post is beautiful!
Beautiful! I did a post almost exactly like this 3 years ago for Valentine’s Day. So honored to be in such distinguished company! May the Lord bless you outrageously! <3
Layla oh my this was precious! My favorite picture was of the little girl praising the Lord with her heart, mind, and soul! I’m going on a “girls week trip” starting today and I’m going to encourage them to share what love is to them! It’s a time at the lake every year to just be… We have morning devotions, craft, walk, swim, eat, go for sunset cruises and love a lot! It will be filled with love from start to finish! Hopefully I’ll capture some pics and send them your way! 🙂
Layla…. what a beautiful and thought-provoking post! Have a beautiful day!
tremendous post, layla! what a way to warm my heart on a monday. thank you!
to me, love looks like holding hands for no reason, other than you are close enough to do so.
🙂
I suffer with chronic migraines and live my sister, brother in law and their 5 children. To me, love is one of the kids running over with their cold hands to put on my forehead or the 2 year old twin boys coming over with their sticky mouths to give me smooch on my owie head.
Aw, so sweet. I’m so sorry about the migraines; I have them, too. Always have. But they are manageable. Just wanted to mention that food sensitivities can be a large factor. In my family, gluten has proven to be a huge problem. It gives my daughter headaches for one thing. Sugar is a contributor to mine. You may already know this, but if not, it can be life-changing, so I hated not to mention it. Just a thought! 😉
Thanks Lynn – I just did a year of gluten free with no changes. I know most of my triggers so I just try to avoid them. The ‘good’ thing of it is that the kids learn at a young age to be sensitive to the needs of others.
So true. Always a silver lining. For me it’s knowing just how my little girl feels when she has a migraine, since I have them. And I feel your pain, too. 😉 Be blessed!
LOVE this post! Has me really pondering! LOVE the pictures that you used also! You can feel the emotion in each. Thank you for sharing!
I can see love in the people around me, how they treat others. I can see it in nature, when you see all its beauty in one moment. I see it when reading your blog, your inspirational and moving words. But love also looks like a memory since I haven’t felt loved in a very long time and can’t imagine anymore what it’s like. I hope to feel it one day again, hope keeps me going.
Oh, Annelies – when you are able to see the love around you, you ARE experiencing love! Make sure to love yourself, too, just like a best friend.: )
Sending you a hug!
Leah: )
Thanks Leah! I really felt that hug right through the screen. You are such a warm and inspiring person. And you are spot on that I need to be reminded to love myself as well. Keep on sending love through your blog to all of us!
Simple or complex – it all adds up. A cup of coffee delivered to me while still in bed can sometimes be as large a love as a new baby’s first look into your eyes. All that love goes into the same heart and fills it up.
Wonderful post!
Oh wow you made me cry at work at the picture of the father and baby! Wow – that is what love looks like! Love looks like doing what you KNOW is right everytime you do something. Love looks like my grandmother who always gave hers unconditionally. And love looks like lifting someone up when they need a boost.
Layla,
What a beautiful and inspiring post. It made me think and smile! I am surrounded by love, and I don’t want to ever take it for granted. I am lucky in so many ways, and having a wonderful husband and 3 great children is more than I could ever ask for. Even when problems come along or there are bumps in the road, I have to remember that love is what will heal those things. Thank you!
Beautiful post Layla and so true! Love holds nothing back. God gave His Son for us while we were still sinners. He holds nothing back from us. Love is freedom and freedom creates action and enables us to pour out to others that which we have received. Have a great day!
Love is adult children inviting their parents to move in with them not knowing what that is going to look like exactly. The closed circle.
Cindy, you just made me tear right up!!! 😀 We’re so grateful to be able to “do life” with Jim and Katie in a new and adventurous way next year! I hope y’all get a chance to spend some time together, too! XO
Love picked me up after work Thurs, July 3rd and drove me across the Canadian-American border to Watertown NY. A total surprise and shock. His heart knew how much it would mean to see the Star Spangled Flags flying in front of all the homes we drove by, and come to celebrate the 4th of July with my countrymen, he said.
God’s heart found us the sweetest Americana little place, called Sacket’s Harbor, with all my favorite things, century old homes, history, sailboats, blue and sunny skies, friendly faces, and a night sky filled with stars and fireworks.
Love knew I needed a lift from life’s heavy burdens, and he used my dear Canadian husband.
And it made all the difference.
Love your post today…
Something else I’ve been learning too about love…Since God IS love 1 John 4:16 you can change the love and replace it with God in the 1 Cor. 13:4-7 and that is how He loves us. God is patient with me…God is kind towards me…God boasts in Truth…
etc. Hope that encourages others today!!
Thank you for sharing this. It was beautiful and heart touching. I agree with your pastor, love in action does cost us something. This love in action Is life changing, look what Jesus love has done for us —-changed us.
<3
Layla, When I see the pictures of you and your husband, I always think sweet LOVE. It always shows through your photos. I can personally say that the love I feel for my grandchildren is very special. They love me so unconditionally and I them. It’s a beautiful thing.
Cindy
Love is all around if we just take the time to look. Love today was reading this post, and reminding me to do just that! Thank you!!
I don’t have a picture but to me nothing spells love than your pet looking at you with such adoring eyes!! The way they wiggle at your touch and nudge you to continue…..
Oh boy, I wish I could post photos. 🙂
+Love looks like two parents hugging their child together.
+Taking your dog for a walk, rubbing his tummy, and then sitting on the floor to cuddle with him.
+buying a stranger $20 of groceries because his/her bank card won’t work.
+Feeding a toddler pesticide-free blueberries or strawberries (super healthy fruit to nourish their little bodies).
+Snuggling with your kitty and telling her how thankful you are that she picks you as her family.
+listening, reciprocating and caring when you’re co-worker says “how’s it going?”
+forcing time in your schedule to visit your elderly Grandmother once a week, because you know she unfortunately won’t be around forever.
+smiling kindly at everyone.
+babysitting for your sister-in-law so she can shower or nap or go shopping with her friends “like she used to.”
+getting up early to watch the sunrise with your love.
+cleaning up a (13×15) yard and creating “nature-love” (ex. planting butterfly and bee-friendly plants, creating a toad and frog house, pruning trees to increase their health, adding a bird feeder).
+taking your girlfriend and her 1-month-old first-born to Starbucks so she “has” to shower and put on “normal” clothes and get out of the house.
+holding hands.
+risking being late in order to be kind to someone.
+learning a new recipe just so someone has a taste of home on a special occasion.
+when the choir giggles their way through a musical anthem because someone in the congregation is being comical and the minister catches the fun spirit, smiles, and says “amen”
+telling the truth, even with great risk
+chasing the boogeyman out of the closet and out from under the bed with enthusiasm
+telling another that they did a great job.
+praying a prayer of gratitude for each little miracle (like those above)
+reading a blog where someone has been brave enough to speak love, truth, kindness and get others to join the wave…we need more of that in this world.
Thank you beautiful Layla & Kevin!
With MUCH gratitude…
Maryjane
from Manitoba, Canada
Thank you, Maryjane!!
Loved your list! I read every item and they definitely all looked like love, a.k.a sacrifice, to me!
Thank you so much for sharing with us. You have a beautiful heart! XO
Those pictures you found were amazing! I felt the love. I don’t do instagram, but I thought your post was inspiring so I dug through what pictures I have on this new computer and found a picture that struck me as love. You can check it out here: http://thelittlewhitehous.blogspot.com/2014/07/what-is-love.html
Love is not thinking about what we’ll get in return, how we can benefit. Its selfless. It sees the best in others.
And a simple example of love is watching 2 of my kids playing cards at the kitchen table with 2 friends from “up north” at our favorite place in Mackinaw, laughing and giggling, while the memory of witnessing my oldest son propose to the love of his life a week ago is fresh in my mind. Love is in the simple things of everyday life and the life changing events that we’ll never forget!
Bingo, Jacki! It’s always sacrificial!
That’s why watching your kids and witnessing your oldest son propose looks like love to you, too. Your heart is connected to them on a completely sacrificial level. Their joy feels essential to your own!
LOVE is SO AWESOME! 😀
Right now it looks like me crying in Office Depot because of how much I LOVE this post!!
Aw, Stefania! It’s not because of how much you love this post…it’s because you know how much Love matters. XO
Love looks like letting go when you want so badly to hold on. I lost my mom to cancer over 13 years ago. I didn’t want to let her go but loved her so much that I couldn’t watch the pain any longer. It still hurts just as bad today as it did the day she died, but love is allowing yourself to change your prayer from “God, please heal her.” to “God, please take her.” Thank you for your words. What a comforting heart you have.
What a beautiful post! Brought tears to my eyes…
To me this is love. Gods love for us is all. There can be no more. He has given us everything we need to secure out place with Him in everlasting life. Our love for others is that we lovingly do what we can when they are in need. We don’t even have to like them. But we willingly provide in labor or gifts what they require in their time of need, even if they are not our favorite person. Love the Lord God with all your heart, mind and soul. And love your neighbor as yourself. The 2 greatest commandments. Thanks Layla for sharing. And thank you God for showing us how to love.
*Love* this!
Right now, as I look around the messy kitchen with the dirty dishes and the lingering taco smell, and see the dollhouse family neighborhood occupying the dining room, and the tool my husband dropped by the front door, and imagine my son’s dirty clothes that I know without looking are on the bathroom floor, and the clean clothes that I know without looking are on my oldest daughter’s floor, I realize that is what love looks like, since it connects me to the ones I love. *I am blessed.*
Layla, I’ve been reading your blog since day 1. I always enjoy your writing, but today’s post is exceptional. You have an amazing spirit that shines through in your writing!
I know that God is love. And He gave me a loving, kind, full of laughter, wise, tender, caring Father here on earth. Today would be his birthday. His 94th. He passed away at 90 years 5 days old. I’ve realized that when I’d cry I would long for my Dad’s wisdom, that his wisdom was from above so I kept on getting wisdom from my Heavenly Father in the absence of my earthly Father. I miss him so very much. I have a TBI. when my world seems confusing and I’m treated unkindly, I know my Dad would have said, Oh my Lelah pa Lelah. I never wanted this for you. And would have patted my hand and written me a letter. He held my hand those two days before he died. He said with clarity, ” You’ve always been such a good daughter. You’re my Little Lelah Pa Lelah.” My special name. And we sat together. And I was not sad nor afraid that day. I had 17 cousins from north and mid and south US. Each one bent over and he grasped their hands in his. He told each one something special and they told him something special. And my four cousins, in his small room, sang hymns in perfect harmony. I miss him and love him. We all did. Neighbors, friends, relatives…and this is my best example of love to my children, to me, to my spouse…here on earth.
Best . post. ever. 🙂
What does love look like? Love looks like Jesus.