I drove up to Symrna, Tennessee on Monday, and spent a couple of days with my friend Kim…
Her blog, The Twice Remembered Cottage, was the very first blog I ever had the pleasure of stumbling onto…
What an awesome discovery that was!
Three and a half years later, Kim continues to inspire me in so many ways. She’s been an extra busy girl lately, creating these sweet little wooden signs for her Etsy shop…
But, this week, we both decided it was the perfect time to take a break, and spend a couple of days just hanging out and having fun!
I took a couple of snapshots of her darling kitchen one day while I was there. It was so surreal being there in it after all these years of seeing it on her blog!
We stayed up way past our bedtimes, and talked about decorating & paint colors, and things that make our hearts sing. We ate at Cracker Barrel, listened to country music, and went on a crazy, out-of-the-way adventure one night because I typed “street” into our GPS, instead of “avenue”. Oops!
But aside from the bonding and belly laughs, the trip was a really positive turning point for me, too. I mention my anxiety here on the blog from time to time, but (unfortunately) it’s something that’s always in the back of my mind. I had my first panic attack five years ago this past August and there’s no way I would’ve been able to drive up I-65 for four hours, by myself, back then. Heck, I even had trouble walking out to our mailbox alone for a while there.
One of the things I’m still very afraid of is taking medication of any kind, so it’s been challenging trying to figure out how to deal with my anxiety issues naturally over the years. One thing that usually works pretty well, is to shift the focus off whatever is making me nervous, by talking about something completely different. For instance, on my way up to Kim’s the other day, I talked to my friends and family on my cellphone the whole way up the interstate. (Note to my Mom: Don’t worry! I used my little earpiece thingy and had both hands on the steering wheel the entire time!) Robert Brault said, “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.“, and I’m so grateful for all the sweet peeps that kept my brain busy that day!!
Once I got to Kim’s, everything was awesome, too. She made me feel so comfortable and safe, and I can’t thank her enough for taking the time to make sure I felt at home, the entire time.
She’s one of those people that just makes you feel calm just by being around her…ya know what I mean? One of those people you can really, really talk to…and they still want to be your friend when you’re done- LOL! (Thank you, Kim!!!)
“A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” ~Lois Wyse
And thanks to all the good friends out there that have encouraged me with kind comments over the past few years, too! You guys rock my (totally insane) world!
PS- To my fellow anxious friends out there reading this- Let’s make a pact to remember to do more reaching out to the people that do such a great job of rekindling our inner spirits. Not only will it help kick that anxiety to the curb, their spirits may need some rekindling too!
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Yes, talking about anything and everything to a friend who listens to you and if you feel calm when she just places her hand on your shoulder tightly… dont let that go! Thank God for friends 🙂
Hope you get over the panic attacks and anxiety…Try not to worry too much about everything and just relax and have fun. (easier said than done!, I know!)
Hi Ilke!
Thank you for the reminder…it is easier said than done sometimes, but it does definitely help to hear those words from friends and family, too! 😀
Oh Layla I wish I would have known you were sooo close to me!!! I would have taken you to lunch! Next time please let me know. I would love to make a plan! Its great to have good friends and new ones too!
Hi Deneen!
Now that I know I’m capable of making of the trip- I’ll definitely be back again soon!
Thanks for being sweet!
🙂
LOVE that y’all were able to spend time together!!! Happiness! Friend adventures are the best. Oh, and I talk on the phone the entire time I’m on the road too…helps the time pass more quickly!
XOXO
Thank YOU, Miss Myra for talking with me on the phone on the way up there! I cherish your friendship SO MUCH! 😀
As a Community Mental Health Nurse this warms my heart…:)
God Bless…..
Love your talents and sharing them is a gift to us all…
Thanks so much from a girl who lives in a very rural but beautiful tiny fishing community in Queensport, Nova Scotia…Canada
Thank you Shelley! I used to vacation with my family in Canada as a child. Ahhhh, the good old days. 🙂
Acupuncture has helped my husband with his anxiety.
Oh, neat! Thank you for the information, SMS! 😀
You always seem so confident and like you’re having a great time, so we will pray that the inside will consistently match the outside! Proud of you for pushing forward and for being willing to share with most of America!
Hi Laura!
Having fun has become my way of pushing my fears to the back of my brain! 😀 And bonding with sweet folks, like you, on this playground we call a blog has really helped keep it under control better too!
I’ve always considered you one of my favorite bloggers because you are so honest, real, and down to earth. I love how you view life and the positive attitude you put forth. It’s so great to have friends we can go to and leave feeling “full” and better! Blessings to you, Layla!
Hi Tanya!
Thank you for your kind words. 🙂
I agree about the “leaving full” part too. That was such a great way to word that! 😀
I too have anxiety issues Layla…thanks for making me re- think therapy, meds or a psychiatrist is all that can help with my anxiety issues.. ….just a friend to be silly with! 🙂
Hi Tracie!
Please drop me a line if you’re ever feeling anxious and need a friend to talk to!
🙂
Layla,
I think your link to your friend’s site is broken. I can’t get there at least, but I DO have issues… 🙂
Hi Ali!
I just fixed the link- thanks for the heads up! 😀
Oh my goodness, Layla. You could be talking about me here. I have the exact same problem. I haven’t traveled in years, since the death of my dad. It’s something I rarely talk about or tell people but one day hope to because I’m learning it’s not something I should be ashamed of. And I am also trying to deal with it naturally. We’ve got to talk soon. Thank you so much for posting this. You have no idea how much it gentled my heart. 🙂 And those red cabinets and kitchen are gorgeous!
Hi Diana!
It’s definitely not something to be ashamed of…but it certainly can be hard to talk about out loud. But I think if we start sticking together through this stuff, maybe we won’t be so nervous anymore! 😀
I love, love the cabinets. Could I pleased find out what color they are?
Thanks,
Alia
I too would love to know what color and brand the paint is that she used on the cabinets. They have inspired me!
Layla – You were so close to my house:) You could have seen the design consultation changes you did for me in person:) Check your inbox – I sent you some updated pics!
Hi Amanda!
I just saw your email- WOW! You guys have been busy! 😀 I love the window seat and fireplace wall- SO AWESOME! Please send me more pics when the sconces are up- so excited to see those!
I love the red cabinets! We just had the kitchen done in white..I think my husband would flip if he came home and found red:) This kinda inspires me to change them 🙂 Anxiety is a daily struggle. I suffer from fear based anxiety that unfortunately can lead me to depressive days & prevent me from doing daily fun things. I can relate to the mailbox scenario you described 🙁 I am better now, a year plus later :)Simply acknowledging that I need some help from time to time is half the battle 🙂 I have learned to try & recognize what triggers cause my anxiety & attempt to shift my focus onto something else 🙂 Thanks for sharing, I’m always interested in others stories & how they deal with anxiety 🙂 XO
Hi Jessica!
I’m glad you’re better this year than last. Maybe we should start a blog for anxiety sufferers so we can log on and talk to folks when we’re going through a tough time. Hmmmm….
Funny you say that about a blog, I was thinking last week about looking for some but starting one is agood idea to. I’m game to brainstorm ideas if you ever want to start one 😉 Have a great weekend & enjoy 🙂
I think that is a great idea! I suffer every day from anxiety.
So thankful for your honesty. It is nice to not feel alone with our fears and insecurities. I agree 100% with changing what you are thinking about, it always helps me. If I can get out of my own “head” and think about others I am so much better. You are like fresh air in this “perfect” blog world. Real is so much better than perfect.
Charity “Cha Cha”
Wow, I’m just down the road from Smyrna,outside Murfreesboro. I would have loved to invited both of you to my house! Going to check out her blog. I haven’t found too many local bloggers in my neck of the woods
Oh, wow. I don’t comment on blogs a lot, more of an obsessed lurker I suppose. But your statement about your anxiety hit such a chord with me! I, too, got my first panic attack about 5 years ago when I went through my divorce and then started more frequently when I moved away from family and became a single mom with no one close to turn to. I am also very fearful of taking a lot of medication, especially those types of medication, so it’s hard to take when the thought of taking the medicine gives you as much anxiety as the thing giving you the attack to begin with!! I so feel your pain! And I had my phone at my ear constantly through that period. It was the only way I got through it. Talking my voice raw to friends and family until I got through those bad moments. I’m glad to hear that works for you as well. Thanks for making me feel not so alone in my thoughts, Layla. Sometimes that’s the worst part.
I love everything you guys do on here and good luck with all of your new adventures!!
Layla – I have to say, I LOVE your blog….seeing your ideas and creative mastery at work is a complete inspiration! Not to mention, you and your husband are seriously adorable together :). I am trying to give my big outdated kitchen some new life on a very tight budget right now and my desire to do so was sparked by your most recent kitchen redo, which I love! Thank you for that! And, thanks for your honesty and openness about struggling with anxiety and panic attacks and still GETTING PAST IT to lead an obviously successful and inspired life! That is one thing I would NEVER have thought someone like you would be struggling with! I started having panic attacks and anxiety about 14 years ago, same as you, I was afraid to drive long distances (my first major PA was while I was alone driving on the highway)…I was afraid to be alone, afraid to go far from home, afraid to go to sleep at night. It was horrible and very hard for those around me to understand. It took me about 10 years and I don’t know how I did it, but I finally learned not to let the anxiety EVER win at anything, EVER. I make myself face my fears every day – it is the only way. That and a very occasional xanax. Anxiety is such an internal thing, very hard to be seen from the outside. I tend to be a very calm, put together girl – a pediatric nurse, a wife and a mom to three – and no one would EVER believe that I have struggled with this all these years. Sounds like you are doing all the right things – and believe me girl, from the outside looking in – you are working it!
Thanks again – and PS – Oh, brother – now I want to paint my cabinets RED instead of MOURNING DOVE!!!! Ha ha ha…
I discovered the whole world of decorating blogs by searching for “red painted kitchen cabinets” and landing on Kim’s blog. It’s one of my favorites.
Dixie
O HAI that kitchen is do die for. Love it when people go bold and it reeeally works. Off to check out her blog…!
Hmmmm. The post comment button isn’t working?
I re-read your post and I totally get the panic attack thing. I actually bought a book called “Don’t Panic” which was a bit helpful.
As a loyal TLC reader, I have to come out of the shadows to comment. I struggled with crippling anxiety for years and was even medicated for it. Today I am off all meds and completely free of anxiety. How? I stopped eating gluten and sugar. You may have to try a lot of things, but there is something out there that will free you from the anxiety prison. It just might not make a lot of sense at first. Best wishes! Back to lurking…
http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/317061_2270690060679_1651447831_2210311_961248977_n.jpg
I hope this work…check out the above link for a great cartoon of “Anxiety Girl”. I think you will like it!
Hi Layla,
It makes me feel sooo much better to know that a lovely, talented, smart, funny woman (YOU!) also struggles with anxiety. I have been dealing with this “monster in the closet” all my life! It’s just something that people don’t talk much about. Thank you for sharing your stuggle, and progress…and all your wonderful, wonderful decorating!
Your blog always warms my heart and puts a smile on my face!
Blessings!
Kim
Oh Layla so sorry about your anxiety issues. I had my first panic attack 10 years ago. After many tests, meds, and therapy I am doing really well today. Totally understand the whole driving thing I couldn’t even drive to the grocery store. Exercise and laughter really are the best medicine!! Praying for you.
There is nothing like a great friend!
Kims blog as well as yours were the first blogs I ever came across too. Her Red cabinets have always stood out in my mind. They are soo cute…and posibly the only red cabinets I have ever seen.
I sometimes get anxiety and panic attacks too….. They suck!! but like you I always try and switch my thoughts when I feel one coming on, and a Good friend always helps too.
So glad you had a fun time with Kim and that you were able to get yourself to go. I am sure that was hard in itself!
You know you can call me anytime to chat 🙂
PS I am still totally lovin’ Kim’s kitchen too!
oh how awesome to visit the “Twice Remembered Cottge”…. actually Twice Remembered and Daisy Cottage are the first decor blogs I ever stumbled onto!!!! Of course TLC is at the top of the list as well now!!!! Thank you so much Layla for sharing with us…. so open and kind hearted….. and VERY TALENTED!!!!! So happy to be able to visit with you …. even though I do not really know you…. 🙂 maybe one day!!!!! Be Blessed… Terri
Hi Layla,
Thank you for sharing about anxiety, I’m part of the pact to reach out more. I can really relate to alot of this. I’ve learned over the years most of my anxiety is caused from fear, being a perfectionist (that’s ok), and being so darn hard on myself. I strive to accept myself and others too, Layla as you put it so well, kick anxiety to the curb!!!
Layla you are a gift and a beautiful friend.
Fondly,
Laurie
Layla,
Thank you for this post and sharing about yourself. My doctor just recently wrote a RX for anxiety and I tried to take the meds but they made me feel worse than I did before. I think you are right on target about no meds and doing something to refocus your attention. I stopped the meds and directing my attention to keeping busy. Not only does it help “naturally” i’m getting stuff done at home.
Have a great weekend!
Lisa
http://www.trinity-house.com
I really needed to read this post this morning, Layla. I also have issues from anxiety, and I try very hard not to let it get to me, especially when I have a special needs daughter who needs me at 100% every single day! Super post. Thanks so much, and I am happy you had a great visit with Kim.
xoxoxoxo,
Ricki Jill
Layla, I’ve never commented I usually lurk but your comments about anxiety really hit home. I’ve suffered with it for 13 years now. My hubby and I dont’ travel much anymore because I get so freaked out, I even missed a dear nieces wedding this year due to not being able to travel from Colorado to Philly. I’ve missed out on so much…I can do the small occasional road trips but any more than that and it’s not good. Everyday I try to kick it to the curb, some days are more successful than others. I never would have guessed you have the same “affliction”…I appreciated your words and just wanted to say ‘thank you’ for sharing! Best, Teri
Layla, thanks for sharing!
OMGGGoodness! I didn’t know you were friends with KIM… I absolutely LOVE her kitchen. I actually sent you a pic of my kitchen once for makeover advice because I was planning to redo my kitchen (when I get up enough time & money!) I have had her kitchen in my bookmarks for ages inspiring me 🙂 🙂 i think I may have sent you a link to her kitchen saying it was my inspiration. Wow what a small world!
I’ve been reading your blog for a bit & I would have never guessed you would have anxiety. I have had anxiety attacks before but haven’t in a few years. Always in the back of my mind they will return one day : / for now, HAPPY they are gone 😀
Seriously, you just made me tear up! I will always remember this special visit…What a JOY it was to have you here and for it to be ‘just us girls’ ! Perfect timing with my out of town hubby and kids! I truly feel that you are a kindred spirit and I look forward to all the future visits in the years to come! YOU inspire ME and just make me happy! Love you, girly, and I’m so proud of you for so many reasons! {and who knew there was a difference between Streets and Avenues!?!}
Hi Layla!
I am a new reader to the blog and just had to comment about your anxiety attacks. Whenever someone talked about their anxiety, I thought they were a little crazy, until they started happening to me!! And like you, mine came whenever I was traveling by myself. I never saught any kind of help because I didn’t think it was a big deal and maybe I was a little embarrassed.
But, 4 years ago I read Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” and it radically changed my life and I finally felt like I had some controll over my anxiety.
Not sure if you’ve read this book or not, but it has been such a God send to me (and strengthened my faith).
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Sending prayers that your anxiety lessens and allows you the freedom you deserve in life!
Layla,
I have had problems with anxiety attacks in the past. They started about the same time my doctor discovered a slight heart issue and he definitely thought they were connected. I agree with the previous suggestion about sugar. I also cut out caffeine (tea, coffee, chocolate) yes chocolate :O but when you are desperate….
It made a huge difference for me. Stay well.
hey layla,
totally hear ya on the anxiety issues — i have dealt with this my entire life. this summer was really bad, and i finally caved and started taking a mild medication for it — and it has totally helped. i hate taking medicine too (even aspirin or cold meds!), but I also saw a therapist for a few sessions, and she told me that some people’s brain chemistry is just “off” and in need of the meds. she told me to think of it as my “brain vitamin” and that it’s actually GOOD for me, because NOT taking it puts my body through so much stress — all of that adrenaline pumping through my system all the time can cause serious havoc on many of my organs. I’d never thought about it that way, and she’s right… without all that adrenaline, I PHYSICALLY feel 100% better.
Also, check out a book called “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp (and her blog, http://www.aholyexperience.com). She writes about the power of gratitude, and I use these thoughts to replace my anxious thoughts. So great for the soul!!!
🙂
stacey
this has been my experience too. until i got regulated, i never realized how much the ongoing anxiety was affecting my life. Ruining it almost. I tried everything “natural” I could, but it was so constant that it just kept getting worse.
It’s okay if others want to deal with it naturally, but because I’ve gone that route and failed, a small dose of medicine has made my life so much better. I actually feel like I am who I’m supposed to be with it…
blessings Layla!!
Layla,
The other day I said to my mom ” I saw the cutest thing on my friends blog”. The crazy thing about this story is that we have never met, but I read your blog EVERYDAY! I almost feel like we are friends. Good Luck with everything. You are oh so very talented.
Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love, and of a sound mind.â€
Wow! It’s amazing to see how many of us struggle with anxiety. And funny how we all share a love for Layla’s talents and great design. We need to have a Lettered Cottage Kick Anxiety to the Curb conference where we have fun working on projects, sharing ideas and inspiration, have some guest speakers to talk about anxiety and design! How fun! Question is…would those of who have that driving anxiety be able to get there? haha. I have struggled with anxiety for about 8 years. My free spirit, up for anything, let’s go on a road trip spirit disappeared after having a second still born baby in 2002. (The first was 1999). I am blessed with three children but the loss of those two baby boys somehow transferred into being paranoid about being a passenger in a car, then escalated into driving anxiety. Planning routes, wouldn’t leave the house when it was raining or if it even LOOKED like it may rain…even a drizzle…avoiding fun vacations, etc. I hated it. I realized my fears were irrational but would often justify them…and still sometimes do…that people are killed in car accidents every day. Then it became that I was afraid to walk in my neighborhood because I was afraid of dogs and people have invisible fences and the dogs bark and run at you. Sigh.. My husband begged me to get on medication but I did not want to join the ranks of people that relied on a pill to fix things. Three years ago I finally knew I wanted something to help. I take 50 mg. of sertaline every day and it has helped tremendously! I still have little quirks and habits and I don’t like busy, busy interstates, still do not feel comfortable as a passenger but I do not obsess on routes, weather, etc. I have more freedom and enjoy getting out! Anxiety is an awful debilitating thing that is so frustrating. You long to be the person you once were and can’t understand your own fears. Layla, I am glad you had such a fun, relaxing trip! If I were Kim (she was the first blog I ever came across as well!) I would have had major anxiety about what my house looked like with you coming! 🙂
Layla,
Kim was the first blog I ever read and she ‘introduced’ me to my second — The Lettered Cottage.
http://fairfieldhousenj.com/2009/10/31/dear-diary/
I’m so happy you were both able to ‘go out and play!’ I am honored and blessed to consider you dear friends.
Deborah
Deborah
I would totally drive to Alabama to spend a weekend laughing with you!
@Heather… You know, I *was* antsy about Layla coming to my house! We live in a fixer upper and though I knew that Layla would be super sweet and understanding {because she’s fixing up her house, too}, I was so worried that things wouldn’t feel comfortable – like she’d be sleeping in a construction site or something, ha! But let me tell ya, she put my mind at ease and didn’t give the ‘mess’ and undone projects a second thought. It really helped me get over my fear of having people over. I’ve been so embarrassed to have friends here and my social life has really taken a nose dive since we started remodeling. But NOW I have the courage to have more friends over because, well, as Dr. Seuss said, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” So definitely, her visit really helped me with the my own inner struggles!
I needed to read this today, Kim! I am always putting off inviting friends over because of our perpetual construction zone. Maybe I’ll invite a friend over for coffee in the garden…baby steps 🙂
Coffee in the garden sounds absolutely delightful! Yes, one step at a time!
Kim, you have done beautiful, beautiful work on your house! I love your blog, your talent, your mind! (And your gorgeous hair and skin tone!) And I am so glad you have opened up an etsy shoppe! Yay!!
Aw, thank you, Heather! I really appreciate that!
I suffer from anxiety as well…it is NO fun! YAY you for taking the challenge.
This post blessed me. Your blog always encourages me to keep on with my DIYness, but as a fellow panic-attack sufferer, this encouraged me in a different way. Thanks for sharing that.
What a beautiful post Layla! I am so grateful for your honesty about anxiety. I get anxious too (especially driving) sine I have been hit 4 times in my mini van. I too do not want to take medicine and struggle sometimes. So glad you had fun with your friend.
wow, thanks for sharing her blog. I am now following her. She is amazing!
I’ve been reading you forever and in this sweet post I find you’ve been hiding this drool worthy kitchen. Thanks for the intro to TRC and prayers for continuing improvement in emotional and physical health.
Layla, you’re a sweetheart. This post is awesome. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Just a suggestion regarding your anxiety attacks. I personally know that a couple of visits to a hypnotist worked wonders for testing anxiety for my daughter when she was in college. Maybe it will work for you. I thoroughly enjoy your blog.
Dear Layla, thank you sooo much for your transparency! Sometimes I forget that all my talented “friends” out there in cyberspace have real issues just like me. Your blog is so special and admire you and Kevin very much. Thank you for your contribution to my life!!