It was right around noon on Monday when our caseworker’s call came in. I was out and about, running errands in the rain at the time.
“Is Kevin with you?” Meredith delicately said, “this is going to be a kind of a hard call“.
Kevin wasn’t with me.
Gulp.
My brain immediately raced to the worst scenario.
Meredith went on to (very gently) explain a possible change in our adoption process, and in an instant, my windshield matched my cheeks. 🙁
It wasn’t the worst case scenario that had flashed into my mind, but bottom line: we’re *probably* not going to Haiti any time soon.
On Monday, I couldn’t focus on anything but the bottom line.
I really believed we’d be booking our 2-week socialization trip in the next couple of weeks, and I felt so sure we’d be snuggling with him at the orphanage soon.
But God has really redirected my focus over the last couple of days, and I’ve got a whole new perspective today. It wasn’t about the bottom line, it was about a (potentially) better line (in the long-run).
So today, I feel encouraged to know that he’s in very Happy hands in the meantime…
…and, with a click of that play button, I feel re-encouraged to focus on the Wonder…not the wait. 🙂
You have the right attitude, Layla, and this is most likely a blessing in disguise. Know that many prayers are continuing to come your way. This entry was the first time I’ve read you write “my son”. Bless you and thank you for sharing with us all.
I’m surprised no one has asked. Which one of these children is your Sweet P,( in the video)?
Also, I’m reminded of the many heart breaks, anxiety trips, frustrating years my family and I spent in a religious cult like church. The pastor was my father. Years of being abused by a family friend. For many years after we left them, we had to adjust to the real world. Through. Divorce, 2 children with mental disorders, loss of my parents for 5 years etc.
I am who I am today, because of my past. No, I don’t mean 27 years of pain that I dwell on. No! I mean how I REACTED during and after those years. I’m reminded, this isn’t your God testing you, this is life. Life marches on and THE ONLY thing you control… Is how you think and behave through a rough journey. Positive thinking and living molds your life, your journey. It’s here right this moment. The beauty of life is we control how happy or sad we are by allowing good thoughts, good people surrounding us, no matter how hard something is. Live just for the now. The rest will take care of itself. This gives us a very powerful weapon. A positive outcome!
I have faith in YOU ! I will keep you in my mind as I meditate. I promise!!
There are a LOT of women who said they will pray for you and Kevin. I just want to remind all of us, saying ” I’ll pray for you”, is a beautiful way to say, “I care!” But if you said it, please please follow through. Don’t just say it, do it. ( sounds like a commercial!)
I believe in you and Kevin to make this a learning time! Why? Because I think positively for you. Live for today, make good decisions to flow with the river called life, don’t fight it. One day you will look back on this time as beautiful!
Love, Beth
So sorry it is not going as smooth/quickly as you hoped. It sounds like your adoption worker is on top of what is going on and that is a huge Blessing.
What a blessing this change will be to the current system, but I am SO sorry that you are all caught in the switch. I really can’t imagine what it feels like.
What a dear video, I love seeing little ones move with the joy that in just inherently bubbling out of the souls!!
Soon! Soon!
Psalm 37:3-4
Proverbs 3:17
I recently read a Facebook status update from one of my friends who went through the arduous process of adopting…at one point, they were duped by the birth parents and lost over $15,000, not to mention the heartbreak at being so close, and then having those dreams torn away. I’m telling you this, because the Facebook update was about their beautiful boy Gabriel, who came soon after that terrible situation, and this week his adoption into their family was official!! All of these ups and downs will be worth it. Keep your spirits up, we are all rooting for you! XO
Layla and Kevin,
I’ve been reading you for years and I both rejoice and feel my eyes flood with tears for you during this process. God has His hand over you, he HAS THIS and I will pray for continued acceptance and peace. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sue said exactly what I was thinking. I live my life, believing Jeremiah 29:11. My thoughts went, exactly, to this passage!!!!
Layla, you and Kevin have such beautiful faith……..you must know that all the new laws are for reason.
You have so many friends and loved ones that pray for you daily.
Let this be the time to pull your home together a bit more.
Sweet P will be coming home to the most wonderful, loving parents, and to a home that spells that love for him too.
We are all with you. Put a smile on that beautiful face!!!!!
Xoxoxoxoxo
Great things happen for those who wait !:)
Layla,
You are so brave to ‘share’ with your readers! I love how you wear your emotions on your sleeve…I had tears of frustration right along with you and I’m miles and miles away, have never even met you, saying prayers for you and your family. God is good.
Layla and Kevin! I love what you wrote, “It is about the better line!” What a beautiful perspective God has given you! Jeremy and I are praying for you. So grateful that you are sharing this journey. We are blessed by you!
Xoxo,
Bri
Layla & Kevin –
Your faith and optimism are so amazing to me! You will be blessed immeasurably soon, and it will be worth every second of the wait and all of the effort! I am so inspired by your story (and designs 🙂 ), and I’m cheering for you guys all the way! Thank you so much for sharing, and keep the updates coming! 🙂
Layla, your perspective and attitude during these changes and potential setbacks are truly inspiring. I have been there, and I know that agony of waiting. So glad our God is bigger than all that red tape- I’m praying for you all.
I admire you, and know that GOD will continue to bless you with courage, strength, and patience.
Hey Layla, really praying for y’all that this change does indeed turn out to be a blessing. The pictures of his room are so sweet.
I emailed you about a week ago about the t-shirts (I received two, but I only purchased/paid for one….) Haven’t heard back from you so I’m wondering if you ever got the email. I’d like to pay for the second one if possible. Hope to hear from you!
Hi Shirley!
Thank you for the sweet message. 🙂
Off to check my inbox for the one about that extra shirt! XO
I just found your blog. We are a few month behand you and are hoping to enter IBESR soon! This is our second Haiti adoption and it is always nice to connect with others in this crazy process! We are hoping to get our t-shirts to our door this week for our fundraiser. So fun. 🙂
love you guys & thinking of you every single day! i’ll start saying extra, extra special prayers for you two ❤️ hang it there lay
God bless you as you try to remain faithful to him and your little one…..He knows best and He will direct the steps!
Oh, Layla, I’m so sorry for the set-back. 🙁 But, so thankful that you’re seeing the positives and know that God’s got it. He already has the perfect times planned out, and though it’s hard to wait, He is with you (and with your little guy too!). The room looks so welcoming and sweet. I pray your son will be snuggled up with that teddy bear sooner than you think, and that all of the waiting will just be a memory. I’m currently reading the Jesus Calling devotional, and is so encouraging. If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it. Even though the book begins on Jan. 1st, you can jump in and start at any time of the year. Hugs to you!
Were you told any estimation of how long this transition process could take? We received our referral March 20th (we’d been pre-matched to our girl for quite a while!) and have been planning our bonding visit in early May (though we had some scheduling issues and it hasn’t been finalized). I haven’t heard anything on this from our agency yet, but I’m guessing it will affect us too?
Hi Loraena! 🙂
You may want to check with your agency and see what they have to say. Our delay may not be everyone’s delay because (as I’m sure you know) everyone’s process is so different right now. XO
Hi! Thanks for replying! Yes, definitely checking with our agency. Our caseworker was just in Haiti last week and we were communicating while she was there, but she hadn’t mentioned it. I’m sure we’ll be in touch once she’s back in her office. Congratulations on your referral! So nice “meeting” up with people who are at similar stages in the process.
I’m so sorry for the set-back and for things not turning out exactly as you had planned and hoped for in the short term. I’m praying that this is good news in the long term and will streamline the process of getting your sweet boy home into your arms.
Layla, you are so inspiring to me !!! I love how you can take a devastating time and work it for the good. I hope your little man comes home to you real soon. Bless you hunny. Hugs xo
Sheila
praying harder now than ever.
so much love to you.
Thanks for your updates so that we all can be apart of what God is doing and will do as this journey unfolds. You may not be having physical labor pains but still very much labor pains!!! Blessings
Linda
I’m so sorry the news you got was not what you’d expected. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
God loves your little Sweet Pea so much and is making a way for him to come home soon.
Praying for you all!
BTW…got my t-shirts and love, love, love them!!!! They are soooooo soft and comfy!!! Thanks and hoping you’ll do more!!!
God will surely bless you for your patience and love- our time is not always his- that’s the frustrating part. As an adoptive parent myself, I understand your frustrations and send love and peace your way… you are going to be an amazing mom!!!
My heart is sad for your news and very empathic. Having walked the adoption path myself I know how hard, long and taxing the journey can be. I love that you have put it in Gods hands and you are leaning on him. We did the same, but some days were still very hard. We waited years and finally in Gods time became parents. I have always said that adoption isn’t for the faint of heart and it takes faith – a lot of it. Blessing to you and Kevin.
I have you on my bloglovin…you need this post today…
http://beckwithstreasures.com/journal/2014/4/14/being-a-parent
Thank you God for the “lows.”
Layla,
Sending prayers your way. May god be with you.
I know this is a great disappointment…keep trusting The Lord.
I am keeping both of you in my thoughts and prayers! This is the time when our faith is tested, the waiting! We know better things to come but it is a trial to hold it together some days. You know you both will get through this but for the “right now” it can hurt with any setback, even if we know it is for the best. ~Hugs to you both~
awwww, so wotth the wait….just you wait and see! Beautiful video of beautiful children
I am so sorry that there has been a delay.. SO tough to imagine. Praying that your strength will remain grounded in the Lord and His sovereignty. He is in control.
I love your blog…and love your adoption story. We adopted 3 1/2 years ago and it was a very hard time for us. … But it was worth every obstacle…know I’m thinking about you and wishing the days fly by. ..and hoping for a cuddle with little man very soon! !!
His little room looks so sweet and welcoming — he is a blessed little boy to join your family. I’ll be praying God’s grace to be poured out on your sweet family and praying that the Wonder will be long and the Wait short until you can hug your little guy. God is holding your little boy and He is holding you too.
On this side the wait feels eternal. I have walked it many times. And yet, at the moment when everything comes together, it is amazing how the pain of the wait is quickly forgotten. God’s timing is perfect even when it isn’t easy. Praying for you as you hold on to Him in the waiting. Blessings!
After sending in all our paperwork, doctor’s reports etc. Etc…etc. I received a postcard that said “If you do not hear from us within a year we regret our inability to help you”. Devastating and so disappointing. And so IMPERSONAL. But almost exactly one year later we were bringing Teddy home! Hang in there, stay positive, it will happen.
So many times the reality doesn’t match up with our prayer. I prayed for healing for my mom, yesterday she had her hip replacement. She got healing, but not in the way I would have wanted. The older I get, the more I realize that His ways truly are higher than mine, and it is not always for me to understand His timing. Take comfort in knowing that HE who spoke everything into existence knows exactly how everything will work out with you and Kevin and Sweet P. And His timing is PERFECT. So while you wait, keep on trusting, keep on serving, and keep on keeping your eyes on Him. He never fails! Blessings to you my sister!!
As an adoption grandmother, I encourage you to “wait” with The Lord. My best scripture to get me through is: “Be still and know that I am God.” He will comfort and strengthen you and watch over the little one. Our prayers are with you all. Take heart!
In His time. Hugs! Praying for you.
In His Time (song by Diane Ball)
In His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful in His time
Lord, please show me every day
As You’re teaching me Your way
That You do just what You say
In Your time
In Your time, in Your time
You make all things beautiful in Your time
Lord, my life to You I bring
May each song I have to sing
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time
Layla,
I love that you were able to find the positive in this situation. I can only imagine how hard the waiting is. Thanks for sharing your news and the sweet video! I’ll be thinking of you and Kevin and hoping you’re in Haiti with your son soon!
I’m really just a lurker on your website, but I LOVE your style. I’ve been keeping your adoption process in my prayers as a number of other friends are also going through similar jolts of joy and setbacks. I will definitely continue to keep your updated situation in my prayers.
I also wanted to let you know that I purchased a couple of your daydream shirts for my sister and best friend who are just starting a natural cosmetics business. It’s a leap of faith for them and currently they can’t quit their day jobs, but your shirt’s sentiment meant a lot to them. They LOVE them. I am so pleased I could share your lovely design as well as help someone along in the adoption process.
Thank you!
I love following your blog and hearing your story! You are truly inspiring and such an optimistic person! I truly enjoy your blog. I wanted to find out where you got some of the cute items in the room. (the curtains) I NEED to know where you got these, I love the color! :). I love the lamp, curtains, bed, etc. Will you do a blog post of where everything is from? Love your amazing style. Thanks for being amazing! We will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers! Sending love your way!
Thank you so much, Ashley! You are too kind and I sure do appreciate you saying all of that. 🙂 XO
I’ll definitely do a “wrap-up” post on Sweet P’s room once we’re done decorating in there. Thanks for asking…and for the love and prayers!
Hugs…
My heart was hurting as I read your blog. You’ve come so far!! I’m glad it is all going to work out & you will be bringing your son home soon. I love his room!!!!
Sweet P ‘s parents,
When God gives u a vision because you trust that the one who gave you the vision is going to make a provision! This is from a book called the The circle maker (praying circles around your biggest dreams & greatest fears) You need to be praying circles around your sweet P!!! This book is a prayer power house tool really awesome!
No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly
Ps 84:11. Amen
Layla,
We have quite an adoption story for our first daughter and how God delivered our son, the second (and biological miracle), and our third, a daughter, who also is adopted. I would love to share with you personally.
I love the verse, “Man plans his way, but The Lord estblishes his path.” I remember Priscilla Shirer saying, “When God does something, it is always supernatural.” Our stories are just that!
He has appointed your child from the foundation of the earth. When you are faced with disappointment, remember one thing a friend told me when we got a call that we were not going to be able to get a child we were pursuing. She said, “God has a better blessing.” He will bring it His way, His timing, His perfect design. The wait is hard, but is for His perfect providence. Blessings!
my hand…..slipping into yours. Sigh………*hugs*
What an amazing young woman you are, to show such faith, you inspire me!! In my prayers 🙂
Sometimes it is hard to remember that things will happen in God’s time not ours.
PS I got my t-shirt and I just might not ever take it off, SO soft and comfy 🙂