It was right around noon on Monday when our caseworker’s call came in. I was out and about, running errands in the rain at the time.
“Is Kevin with you?” Meredith delicately said, “this is going to be a kind of a hard call“.
Kevin wasn’t with me.
Gulp.
My brain immediately raced to the worst scenario.
Meredith went on to (very gently) explain a possible change in our adoption process, and in an instant, my windshield matched my cheeks. 🙁
It wasn’t the worst case scenario that had flashed into my mind, but bottom line: we’re *probably* not going to Haiti any time soon.
On Monday, I couldn’t focus on anything but the bottom line.
I really believed we’d be booking our 2-week socialization trip in the next couple of weeks, and I felt so sure we’d be snuggling with him at the orphanage soon.
But God has really redirected my focus over the last couple of days, and I’ve got a whole new perspective today. It wasn’t about the bottom line, it was about a (potentially) better line (in the long-run).
So today, I feel encouraged to know that he’s in very Happy hands in the meantime…
…and, with a click of that play button, I feel re-encouraged to focus on the Wonder…not the wait. 🙂
I know it’s a tough thing to do–finding the positive–but I’m proud of you. I think my Mom always had it right when she told me to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. It’s something I have to constantly remind myself to do, but it’s well worth the effort. Chin up! (:
Prayers and Hugs. Hoping your little blessing will be in your arms soon.
Layla and Kevin,
I have loved following your adoption journey. I love your home decorating style too, but I love your heart for the Lord and life. I have been reminded of the very familiar verse of Jeremiah 29:11. The part that has been jumping off the of the page to me is that the Lord not only has a plan for my life, but a “good” plan. Our precious Lord has a “good” plan for your life as well as your Sweet P. I am praying for your Sweet P daily and for you. As much as you love that sweet boy, the Father loves him even more. I pray for strength for you and that our Heavenly Father will continue to guard you and Kevin’s heart and that He will continue to prepare you for this wonderful adventure of Parenthood. We have four kiddos of our own ranging from 8 years old to 14 years old. Needless to say there is never a dull moment, and these same truths that I have shared with you have been a great encouragement to this Mama’s heart. Blessings to you friend!
Sue
Sending hugs your way – so sorry you had to get the news without Kevin…I’m glad that you can look on the bright side…because amazing things are just around the corner!!
You are a strong woman. Hugs and prayers for you and Kevin.
They say good things come to those that wait…I think that applies. It will be all the more special when it all comes together and your little man is by your side!
Waiting is so hard! Dealing with the uncertainty can be such a roller coaster ride. One day (hopefully soon!) it’ll all be worth it. Thank you for sharing. (Oh and btw I’m wearing one of your “don’t quit your day dream” shirts as I type this…love it! Hang in there.)
You are brave and oh so special, I adore your ending quote, “focus on the Wonder…not the wait” LOVE! Thank-you for sharing your wonder with the rest of us.
Oh Layla,
That new perspective is a gift. It will carry you through.
God bless your wait and may you be rewarded richly through it.
Praying for you and your little one for you to be united in HIs time (may it be sooner rather than later.)
Praising God for the Hope He gives.
Hugs,
Amy
Hang in there Layla!!!!!!
I am so sorry. When we adopted from Haiti, our records were advancing during a time of change too. It was hard and sad. I worried about the kids. They were down there during the food riots, but came home before the earthquake. And, now they have been home for 5-years. It seems they have always been here.
Take the time to learn some Creole… not where’s the bathroom, bank, etc. that most tourist sites teach. Things like. Stay here, come with mama, sit down… oh, and don’t fill your mouth (with water) and sit it all over the table. Stop. Stop is a good word to know for toddlers.
I don’t mean this tritely at all- it does genuinely sound like a Romans 8:28 situation to me: All things work together for good for those who love The Lord and are called according to His purpose. Your post is a wonderful example of faith. Praying for you both and your little one as you wait for God’s timing. As terribly hard as it must be!
Waiting is very hard. We waited a long time for our daughter who was adopted from India. It was a very anxious time. But now she is a wonderful 19 year old away at college. That awful time is now just a blip in a lifetime. Best of luck.
So hard! Just remember, God’s timing is perfect!
Jer. 29:11
Even though I imagine this was difficult news, the Lord has you and this prospective child in his hands.When we feel that the rug has been pulled out from beneath us(with our original plans / timelines etc changing)..God is at the helm seeing all of this from the end result perspective.He will deliver.. love reading your blog.
My prayers are with you both as I know first hand how hard the wait and ever changing news can be. My heart is with my littles in Africa, so from one adopting mom to another hang in there. You will never see God as clearly as you do in the process of adoption.
Blessing to you both!
I haven’t commented before on your blog, but I read this verse this morning and thought you may appreciate it. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25 (NIV). Keeping your family in my prayers that your meeting with your son occurs soon.
You sound like you are in a good place. The wait is hard, but the reward will be worth it.
I tried for my boy for 15 years, and ended up pregnant when I turned 40. My miracle boy is now 6 1/2. I understand the pain of wanting for a child.
Stay positive. Sending hugs!
you all are in my prayers.
Prayers and hugs for all of you 🙂
Praying for you and your family, Layla! Believing that a Judge will be found quickly, as well as an office, and that your family will receive a TON of favor with everyone involved, getting your little boy to you sooner!
Believing and praying with you!!! Can’t wait till we see it all come together! <3 Ephesians 3:20
Thank you for sharing. I know you touched a nerve with most everyone. We are all going through some form of this if not now, recently or soon to be. I know you choosing to get a perspective on this has encouraged me. God’s timing is always perfect!
Hang in there!! Adoption is a tough process…but SO worth it in the end. I promise you will forget all of these hiccups when you are squeezing that little boy day and night!
Ohh man – what a legitimate bummer! Adopting is such an unpredictable process – but everything will be so worth it in the end, Layla! Praying for your family as you navigate to your little one!
I admire your strength and patience so much. I can’t imagine the extreme highs and lows you’ve felt through this process an I imagine that thinking of the day you hold yours on for the first time helps you get through the lows. You two are incredible for holding on when things get tough. Thinking of you and the other parents patiently waiting!
Oh, Layla. I have been following your adoption journey. I hope that your precious little one will be in your arms soon. He has an adorable room and very loving parents waiting on him.
I clicked play and my son got a huge smile on his face. He loves the song they’re singing.
Best wishes and I hope this chapter ends quickly so you can start a new chapter with your son.
Layla,
I feel for you. And also know firsthand that international adoption is not for the faint of heart. Our son was adopted almost 9 years ago from Kazakhstan. It was a journey that tested us, terrified us and, ultimately, strengthened us as a couple. It may seem like it will never actually happen, but one day your son will be in your arms forever. And then a new journey will begin. xoxo jenny
Your attitude is amazing through this whole process. Still praying.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your way acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6
It sounds like you and Kevin are already doing this but I know its not always easy.
sending prayers and a big ole hug. You have such a wonderful attitude about this process. The finish line is all that matters.
It takes such courage to go through the adoption process and in a foreign country to boot. God will reward your gentle loving heart and in the meantime we will pray for you. Big Hugs
Oh, what a huge readjustment! But you have a great attitude, and yes, God always has a better plan. hang in there, love is on his way!
All in Gods time, my dear. I love your attitude and your spirit. May God bless you, your husband, your sweet pea and all those involved in this process…..so much process
You are very brave. That was a hard phone call. You are going to be a great mom.
When I read the first phrase of your post my heart sank a bit for you and Kevin. But after reading that there is a new process in place, my hope is that it will all work out for the better for all of you, Layla.
I have absolute admiration for how you have handled the disappointment in such an understanding way. Hang in there it will all be okay…..
Prayers to you all,
Penny
I was so hopeful when I saw the title of your post. I’m sad and disappointed with you. Prayers and hugs going your way.
Layla, I love that your faith is so great! When I first started to read this I thought, “there HAS to be a reason for this change – please let it be good!”. I have faith that it will bring you to Sweet P even sooner than the previous process. Hang in there, we will keep you close to our hearts and in our prayers. Thank you for sharing your journey!
Oh Layla and Kevin, God’s plan for you is so wonderful. It all has it’s purpose and reason for delaying your union with little Sweet P. I know you’re anxious. I would be too. God is continuing to prepare everyone involved in this process. God is so good!
Layla – praying for you, Kevin and Sweet P continually!
Stay strong, Mama. Once you have that sweet little one, all of this will fade away and be replaced with more love in your heart than you can even imagine.
You are a light that shines on us from what you share. It will come to be and when it does, it will be the right time for you all. It’s good to see your love, faith and choice of emotional action.
Praying hard for the judge to be found and things to move forward as quickly as possible. Sending you a huge hug and lots or love from Canada.<3
God will handle it! Happy Easter!
You are so brave and so positive! I agree, a click of that button my heart warmed and I had a huge smile! Such precious, precious children! Thanks for sharing!
You know, the very first thing I thought when I read it was ‘oh, this is going to be great! Don’t worry Layla and Kevin!’. I will keep you in my prayers!
Layla and Kevin,
I was so frustrated during our adoption. The waiting was the worst. There were tears that could have filled a lake, but on that first night home with my son, every tear, every heartache, every anguished sob that I had cried, was worth it and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. It is worth it!!
Your faith is so inspiring. I know God will carry you through this next part of your journey.
Loved the video.
You are going to rock parenthood and this wait will be a distant memory soon! Breathe in the journey! All good things! Sariann