She wasn’t where she had been.
She wasn’t where she was going…
but she was on her way.
And on her way she no longer looked for the answers,
but held close the two things she knew for sure:
One, if a day carried strength in the morning,
peace in the evening,
and a little joy in between,
it was a good one.
And two, you can live completely
without complete understanding.
-Jodi Hills
Kevin and I put together a little photo book for Sweet P on Monday night, and I’ll cherish that time we spent at our table forever.
It’s not a fancy book…just plastic pages, filled with pictures of us and our pets…and stickers that spell his name on the front.
From what we’ve heard, two year olds don’t give a rip about “fancy”, and this book is really just about him getting familiar with our faces.
We tucked a couple of love notes into two of the pages near the back, and it’s so exciting to know that someone will be whispering those words to him for us next week! (Thank you, Someone! We are already feeling so grateful for you taking the time to do that!)
There was a *chance* we could be traveling to Haiti this weekend too, but it’s looking like Kevin and I will (probably) be booking our bonding trip in late February or early March. (which is fine because I already knew that) 😉
We dropped our photo book off at our adoption agency (Lifeline Children’s Services) in Birmingham yesterday afternoon.
That’s sweet and hardworking Meredith (our caseworker) holding it in the photo above.
She’s new-ish to Lifeline, and to the Haiti program…which, come to think of it, is new-ish to Lifeline, too. The Haiti program, I mean. It’s technically still a “pilot program”, and we’re one of the very first families to be working our way through the (new) system. Oh yeah, did I mention our system is new, too? Yep. Haiti is in the process of becoming a Hague certified country, so the rules and regulations are changing (and tightening) by the month week day. The new system is a positive one, but we are definitely sailing through uncharted waters which makes for a very mysterious journey!
But that’s where knowing believing that it’s okay to not completely understand every-little-thing has come in really handy.
It’s made this adventure feel more like….well, an adventure, I guess- ha!
Sure, there have been bumps along the way, but here’s what I’ve learned about bumps: they slow you down, but they don’t stop you. You run up and over them, and they always end up behind you. And circling back to complete understanding- I’m no expert, but I do know this: chasing complete understanding can be mentally exhausting, and loosening our grip creates breathing room in our brains. Take comfort in the Assurance that clarity will always comes in Due time.
Complete living happens from here to the horizon, so here’s to enjoying more of the adventure in between! 🙂
I cried when I saw the card that said “mama” and then “Dad”! So excited for yall!!!
Yup… that got me to! Sweetest thing EVER are those letters!
Oh my sweet friend, your posts bring a tear to my eye (the good kind!) when I read your adoption journey and see your sweet handwriting signed “mama” – you are both in for such an amazing journey and I can’t wait until you’re holding your little one!
xoxoxoxoxo
Kate
Wonderful news, the book it so cute!!!
Layla, your blog makes me smile…: )
Have fun preparing for the arrival of your little one!!
xo Leah
All of your adoption posts make me so happy for you! I’m sure the photo book is beautiful and your kiddo is going to love it!
Layla and Kevin: Your child is blessed to have you as his parents.
Cindy
YES!!!
Thank you Layla for your uplifting words! I am grateful for your blog and the sunshine that your optimism exudes! God bless you two AND your little one! 🙂
Oh man… the notes with “love mama” and “love dad” on them totally made my cry! What a blessed little one.
Well said! I am also learning this lesson!
Although we are not traveling in the “same” road, I needed your words today. Thank you. May a God bless us all to breathe deep and find joy in the journey.
This is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing!
I got chill bumps reading your post today. Memories of when my husband and I did the book many years ago – wow – 26 years ago – came to mind. Same as you, pictures of us, our son, dogs, cats, and the house where my wonderful daughter would live. And she still has it today. The time flies by – she is 33 now and a fabulous, compassionate woman. Do enjoy every second of the journey because it will simply run by you very quickly. Hard times and joyful times – all will be remembered with love in the end! So happy for you and hugs to you both!
Precious anticipation. Something about seeing those words Mama and Dad when it’s all unfolding, it’s beautiful.. Bless you Kevin and Layla
I love this:
“chasing complete understanding can be mentally exhausting, and loosening our grip creates breathing room in our brains. Clarity always comes in Due time.”
Thank you. I’ve been wrestling my own stuff, though not adoption, nevertheless, perfect word for me.
Exciting stuff!
Ditto! Vara, I need to ‘loosen my grip’ also.
Thank you, Layla for your words
How exciting to see what you are living now is what I lived 5 yrs. ago with an adoption from Ethiopia. We also adopted a 2 year old boy, who is the light of our life. His blending into our family was nothing short of amazing. I still have his book we sent to him and seeing a picture of him looking at it was so exciting! Love to you on this journey. It is a wonderful one and I would do it again in a heartbeat! This Feb. 17 it will be 5 years since I first held his sweet lil self. I wish I could attach a photo of him now and then, it is unbelievable!! Let me know if you have any questions about toddler adoption. Knowing someone who has been down the road of toddler adoption can help to answer questions!
Thank you, Susan! And happy 5th! I appreciate you offering to answer kiddo questions. I’m sure we’ll need all the good advice we can get! 😀 Most of the little ones at Three Angels are toddler-aged, so I’ve had so much fun getting to know the other adoptive parents and asking them questions, too. We’re hoping to get to travel with many of them on the next trip, so that’ll be fun to go as a group!
Oh, Mama Layla. As the days fly by, I grow more and more excited for you. It’ll be such fun to see if you’re there on 2/26, won’t it?
Reading this post today reminded me of the song “The Voyage”–I think I told you about once before, because I’d imagined Kevin singing it to you some day.
Life is a voyage;
Love is a boat–
In troubled waters it keeps us afloat.
When we started the voyage,
It was just me and you–
Now gathered ’round us we have our own crew.
The newest member of your crew is one blessed little boy!
Thank you, Richella! What lovely lyrics! XO
You are wise to let all this happen in God’s time. Why drive yourself crazy, right? We made those books for our two and they still cherish them. I remember how fun they were to make. A tangible thing to do while you wait. This is just a part of your journey. Slan awallya “safe home”.
Fun, indeed! I am so excited to look through it with him in person! 😀
Layla! That was such a sweet post it made me cry! I am so excited for you and Kevin and know that you will be truly wonderful parents. You little baby is so blessed to be joining your loving family. And your positive attitude through the unknown is so inspiring. Thanks, always, for sharing the sweet moments of your life with us!
Thank you for leaving me such a kind comment, Sarah! I appreciate your encouragement so much! XO
I’m lost for words today, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m deeply touched by your words and your story and that you are sharing everything with us readers. Thank you so much Layla & Kevin!
This is just precious and such a blessing.
I am so enjoying following your adoption story, thank you for sharing this! Your sweet p will truly be blessed to have such loving parents. I particularly enjoyed your words regarding…..”complete understanding can be mentally exhausting.” Those are profound words my friend that I am writing on my office chalkboard today. It is something I need to see often!
This is beautiful…I am a scrapbooker SO you just tugged a million heart strings darling!!!!! 🙂 Meredith looks beautiful and I can tell she is a lovely lady and you must feel blessed to have such a wonderful case worker.
I can feel it Layla, its getting close your due date if you will:) So happy for you two.
Just lovely…making my day, which was NOT so good until now. Thank you!
Lisa W. P.S. OH Layla have you ever thought about writing, I mean
REALLY writing. Your post are writtenn so wonderfully
it just made me think of that!
You are both just plain old AWESOME! I love where your hearts are, your faith, your love for each other, your beliefs….it is really too much so I’ll stop! I love your book idea for your son and I am just so “down to my toes” happy for you both! 🙂
I too started welling up tears when I saw your handwritten notes…
Layla- I got totally choked up with your notes that both you nd Kevin signed. What an amazing little book your little one will have forever. To be told how loved you are even when you haven’t even met yet- well there isn’t anything better than that. You truly made my day. I wish you both well and look forward to more updates. Thanks so much for sharing. You truly are a blessed.
Journeys of faith are always the most rewarding. 🙂
I’m a puddle of tears over here. My, my, My…So Sweet!
the pure joy in that photo of you with the kind meredith is almost overwhelming! so infectious.
p.s. my boss just walked by my office and paused to ask me if i was crying. i told him i had something in my eye. technically true…i had excitement and love in there!
I so look forward to your updates. They always make me tear up.
mwen vreman kontant pou ou ak mari ou. ke Bon Dieu beni fanmi sa.
sorry my creole spelling might be mixed with french but it says
I am very happy for you and your husband. May God bless this family.
Amen to that!!!
Your love book is so sweet! It will be a cherished treasure. Thank you for sharing such a personal project with us. Very excited for you and praying you continue in and on the journey He has for you.
Oh Layla! Those words “Love from your mama” swept my heart with emotion, and I felt the power of the Holy Spirit. To think that he had a plan for you to be the mama of this “sweet P” and him to be yours. What a great and mysterious gift… the plans of a good Father! Blessings on you guys as you wait to one day hold and hug your little guy and bring him into your home.
First, I get so excited when I see you guys have posted something new about this journey you’re on! I LOVE the book…that’s so sweet and something Sweet P will treasure. Also, your post brought tears to my eyes…but in a good way. The words about the bumps…that’s a great way of looking at it!
🙂 That’s all.
The complete love for someone who lives in your heart, before he / she even knows your face… made me cry. This is beautiful. God bless you all.
this is so beautiful. What wonderful parents you are, and I say are, not will be, because your already doing it, Love that poem also! Just perfect in every way
🙂 My heart is singing for you both! Your adventure is bringing so much joy and love! Hugs!
Teared up at this post! So happy for you guys. What a gift. Thanks for sharing the journey with all of your readers!
Jen
athomeinthenorthwestblog.com
I love what you two are doing! And I’m so so happy for you and your Sweet P.
Are you brushing up on your Français? Might make his transition a wee bit easier if you know a few basic words and/or phrases in French?
Much love to y’all!
xoxox…,
Susan
everytime I see your updates , my heart just explodes with happiness for both you and kevin. Getting pregnant was not an easy road for my husband and I but 3 children later, I can honestly tell you that a mother is not defined on who birthed you. It is defined by the love, compassion and guidance that you provide your child. All traits that your child will be overwhelmed with having you and Keven as parents. Prayers are with you that the remainder of your adventure are without challenges and that your little guy arrives safely in your arms.
Perfect. From beginning to end. I’m so excited for y’all and so inspired by your words. xo
I am BAWLING.. happy tears, of course! I’m so excited for you two. That babe is lucky to have such amazing parents. Sending up prayer and positive thoughts for you, Sweet P, and everyone involved in the process. 🙂
Hi Layla, I live in So CAL. I’ve followed your adorable blog for a while. I’m so happy for you with your new little one coming into your life. It will be fun seeing his or her room progress. Best wishes to both of you all of you.
not a better book on the ny times best sellers list. i cannot even imagine how over the moon you two are right now. thank you so much for sharing this journey.
I am so excited for you! Two year olds are awesome and international adoption has excited me for a while now. Adoption is something that I hope to do one day (hubby just has to be done with school first) and I have enjoyed these little keyhole views into your experience. Thanks for sharing.
That’s awesome! I’m so excited for you guys!
Your Sweet P is so blessed! You all will be great parents. This is surreal to watch your journey unfold.
So I feel like I missed something… it’s a two year old boy? I know you had a photo of all of the kids but did you share the photo and name of the darling you’ve been matched with? I’m so excited for you two!
I love your adoption posts and you sound way more patient than I am feeling! Your hearts are wonderful. Meanwhile, I who don’t even know you in real life, am just ‘get that child to them already!!’. Ah, that will be a joyous post to read!
It’s been nearly 31 years since I first held my bundle of joy. I can still remember the long adoption process, filling out all the paperwork, the home study — the whole process that eventually resulted in holding that precious little boy in my arms. We watched him grow into the most amazing man. I’m so blessed to have the opportunity to be his Mama. It’s been the highlight of my life! Blessing to you and your husband as you anxiously await your new arrival.