We completed the ‘physicals’ step in our adoption home study last week. I made a comment about being freaked out by needles in my last home study-related post, and I wish I could say that the experience went easy-breezy, but it didn’t. It was more queasy-MEasy.
After a short wait in the waiting room, the door to our left swung open and we heard someone call out, “Palmer!“. I wasn’t feeling too nervous at this point, but I was relieved that they were allowing us to go back to the panic room, I mean, examination room together.
I tweeted this Instagram photo while we were waiting for the needle, I mean, nurse to come in:
Shortly after that, we heard a knuckle knock-knock on the door and the nurse came in to get the party started. I could feel my pulse quicken as she began to wrap the death gripper, I mean, blood pressure checker around my left arm. “118 over 83. Whew. Maybe I’m not as nervous as I thought“.
After that, she handed us little plastic cups and pointed to the restrooms. I won’t go into detail about this part of the process, but I will say that I am currently smiling as I type this thinking about Kevin wandering the hallway with his sample because he didn’t know where to put it when he was done. (Don’t worry, I introduced him to the little two-sided cubby door in the wall- ha!)
After that, another nurse came in to draw our blood.
Re-cue: Anxiety.
I casually-with-a-internal-side-of-very-seriously mentioned, “some friends said I should ask for a butterfly needle”, as she snapped the tourniquet around my upper arm.
I concentrated on breathing. I forced a smile, and when she turned away to prepare the needle I tried to use mental telepathy to get a message over to Kevin: “I don’t think she got the butterfly thing! Should I be saying something else about the butterfly thing?!“. He just mouthed, “You’re okay. It’s gonna be okay.”
Needle nurses never have an easy time with my veins. They hide, they roll…they fight that needle like they’re allergic to it. The last time I had blood drawn, it took three different nurses and six different sticks. No joke. Total swiss cheese moment, for realz.
It took longer for my tube to fill up than Kevin’s, but it only took one stick, and it didn’t hurt that bad, so I was pretty smiley at this point. But then all of a sudden, my arm started hurting from my elbow down to my hand. I asked Kevin if his hurt, and when he responded, “no“, I yanked my sweatshirt back off to see what was wrong.
The area around the needle hole was swelling with a quickness, and needless to say, I was instantly allergic to smiling, too.
The doctor came in a second later and I immediately went into full, “what the heck is going on with my arm” mode. He apologized, and told me that needle must have gone all the way in and through my vein. He also told me to apply pressure for the next five minutes, and was happy to oblige when I made him look me in the eye and (truthfully) repeat the words, “you are not going to die“.
So here we are, a week later. I’m still alive, but man is my arm sore from the elbow down. I’ve got a hard bump the size of a bird egg next to the sticking point, and I’m still black and blue (and yellow and green), but I’m thinking things will be back to normal with it soon.
The next step of our home study involves reading a book called The Connected Child and taking a 10-hour adoption course online. Yay! Reading and writing! I’m definitely not allergic to that.
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OUCH!!!! I can so relate. My veins do the same thing, and I’ve come home with nasty bruises. BUT, your bruise looks so sore!!!! A little bit of heat – sit in the tub, read the book and soak your arm!
So glad things are progressing well for you. I know it must seem like a LOT, but the end will be so worth it!!!
Best,
Debi
You nailed my needle anxiety to a t! Even reading your post proved anxiety proviking. I lay down for all needles. My last surgery after multiple nurses poking me they called in the anethesiologist who had to use a pediatric needle! Ick.
Good luck with your adoption process! Three of my 5 siblings were adopted and my oldest child was, too.
Oh sweetie! Your veins must be even worse than mine! I was a nurse, and I didn’t mind sticking laboring women for a half-gallon of blood, but I CANNOT WATCH when mine gets drawn. I get dizzy, too. And I’m not sure that the butterfly really helps. Digging is digging in my opinion (and that of my soon-to-be-bruised, no-I-have-not-been-attacked-and-beaten arm)! Here’s to a bruise-free rest of the adoption process! And I’m glad Kevin understands the drive-thru specimen window now!
Bless your heart girl. I’m sorry you got a big bruise but happy to hear the stick part wasn’t too bad. Butterfly? What’s this you speak of? I may need to ask for that myself. I get blood work done a lot and bruise too so I think your ordeal may have just inadvertently helped a sista out.
Layla,
Try drinking pineapple juice for the bruising. I can relate because I hate needles! I have to wear sunglasses whenever I have to get one. It really does help for some reason. Next time give that a shot!! Lol no pun intended.
I feel your pain. I have the same problem and nurses have to use the butterfly needles on me every time. I did find out at my last blood draw that they DO NOT HAVE TO take it from the bend in your arm. It’s not a law or anything! They took it from a vein halfway between my elbow and my wrist and it was, without a doubt, the easiest draw I’ve ever had. I’ve decided that if I ever move, I’m taking that nurse with me.
Good luck with the adoption!
@Tarisa – So True! They can also do the back of your hand or your foot, if necessary. I’m also needle phobic from having a traumatic blood draw as a kid, so the first thing I say to the phlebotomist is that if I see the needle, I’ll hyperventilate, which it true. Then, they only get one try. No multiple sticks by the same person. If the 1st person can’t get it, then need to bring in the BEST person they’ve got! @Layla, so glad it’s over with! You and Kevin will rock out the next stage!
Eck! I hate needles too. I once passed out at the health department after getting shots. And I have never given blood. Most of the women in my family can’t for some reason…Anyway so glad you made it. Reading is definitely better than needles. You all are in my prayers
Oooh, reminds me of the first (and ONLY) time I decided to give blood. Hurt like the dickens! The next day I was black and blue all the way from above the elbow to mid-forearm, and all the way around to the other side. I had to see the doctor a few days later for an allergy shot, and when he saw my arm, he was shocked…which I now think is funny! I mean, I actually shocked a doctor! :0)) He thought I should file a complaint with Red Cross, because I had some serious pain. But I just decided they weren’t going to get any more of my blood, unless they could guarantee I would not have that experience again! I was never fearful of shots, and still am okay with it, but every time I get poked I’m wondering how it will go. Sometimes they can’t get the spot they need, and I start having anxiety right away!
Word of advice…keep it moving, it helps with the soreness!
Layla – READ EVERY WORD OF THE CONNECTED CHILD…then re-read it…then watch the Karen Purvis videos ….then read it again. (Then maybe one more time for good measure) I will be honest – I skimmed it when we were waiting. I kind of took it with a grain of salt when our sw told us to educate ourselves as much as we could about toddler grief- then we brought our greiving toddler home and our world turned upside down. For the first 6 months home I clung to that book – but reading it when you are sleep deprived and emotionally fragile isn’t nearly as good. If I had one thing I could have done differently about our adoption that woudl have been it. Read all you can on adjusment and grief. Seriously. Seriously.
I agree! – read The Connected Child as many times as you can before your child comes home! Read it enough times that you are dreaming about it, that you quote Karyn Purvis in your sleep. The go the an Empowered to Connect conference and listen to Karyn and take notes and then read the book again. Then buy the videos and watch them, then watch them again. I have 2 boys adopted from Ethiopia and ETC and Purvis’ work changed our lives!
And I am so sorry about your arm – I had a reaction to one of the vaccines for travel to Ethiopia. My arm was so sore I wore a tank top in the middle of winter (in South Dakota!). I feel your pain! It’s the pain of bring our kids home. 🙂
PS…good job on the needle – I have “hidey veins too”.
Awww, you poor thing! That looks so uncomfortable! Nurses always have a hard time getting a vein on me. One tip I was given is to drink a ton of water beforehand. Also, the nurses at my OB are the only ones who don’t make me queasy when they draw blood and I think it’s partly because they sit down at your height to draw blood. Everywhere else I’ve gone, they stand over you and then they dig and dig, but these nurses usually get me on the first try. I hope this is your last blood draw for a while. It’s no fun for sure!
Layla! The next time you have to get blood drawn, you need to ask for a butterfly needle for your HAND. It sounds like it would hurt more or be a crazy suggestion, but trust me, all nurses have learned to take blood this way. Seriously, I’ve had blood taken like that my whole life and it’s okay. Still hurts. Still scary. But there’s never a chance they can’t find a vein or the vein will hide (there’s no where for it to go)! I also find it helps to pump up the veins in your hand my keeping your hands super warm (like hold them against a hot drink) and make sure you are super hydrated. Seriously, it will make it not hurt so much! 🙂
Layla, Please don’t suffer in pain. Get some Emla Cream. I also do not like needles and this has been a God send.
EMLA cream (topical anesthetic) is available only by prescription and should be applied 45 mins to one hour prior to venipuncture. For best results, place a small piece of plastic wrap over the cream after application.
When my husband and I went to get our marriage license in Wyoming Years ago…he knew we were having blood drawn, I did not. They took us into separate rooms across the hall from each other. I yelled across the hall…YOU knew about this right? Good thing I love you!!
We celebrate 30 years next month. Hard times and good times…he was worth it. Your little one will be worth it ALL!!
When you check in at the clinic, you could mention that you have difficult veins and it would be really appreciated if you could have the most experienced person available to do the blood work. At least you are less likely to get a greenhorn poking around. I find deep breathing helps control the anxiety when going for blood work, especially if I inhale deeply just as the needle is going in. It gives me something to concentrate on instead of what they are doing. I also slouch down in the chair so I am as reclined as I can be without falling out. Ideally lying down is the best. At least the worst part is over and you’re one step closer to your dream coming true.
Great job! And you even managed it without a butterfly!
For what it’s worth…it helps to drink a few glasses of water within a few hours of getting blood drawn…makes it easier sometimes. (And you’ll be sure that you have to pee on command then too!)
Even though I don’t know you personally, I got a little laugh out of imagining your hubby wandering the halls with his cup! I still remember when my son (when he was 9), came back to the examination room, and announced to me that he succeeded in filling the cup all the way to the top! lol
I’m not needle phobic….but I hate, with a passion, IV’s….I always feel dizzy! Whoever invented injections vs medicine was a genius, I’ll take one little prick any day. IV’s…and I’m curled up feeling sick.
Hi Layla~Just a little advice for your next blood drawing session. Let them know the second the call your name that you need to have some type of heat applied to your arm about five minutes before the draw. Some places just wrap the arm in a warm blanket. Some use a warm bag of rice. Once this is done, the blood can be drawn much more quickly.
I am a HUGE needle phobic. Here are my tricks –
Drink plenty of water starting a few hours before hand.
Music and headphones – something soothing,
lie down if possible.
NEVER LOOK!
Did you have to get any other testing done? I pass out even looking at a needle, and as far as other *ahem* girly exams, avoid as much as possible!!
Nope. Just a sheet full of questions, a urinalysis, a blood pressure check, a vision check, and blood test. That was it! 🙂 #ThankGoodness
I think I can survive that! Haha! Thanks! =)
Ooh what a fun experience! The things we’ll do for our babies! 😉 I had a nurse do the same thing when I was in labor with my 2nd baby…I’m a queasy measy too & the blood all over the floor didn’t help the whole labor experience! Hopefully that’s the last of the needling for you…at least for some time! 🙂
I cringed, had anxiety and got nauseous just reading this – I’m terrified of needles! I can’t even look when I take my dog to the vet because I feel like I’ll pass out!!
It’ll totally be worth it though!! Enjoy reading your adoption story process.
It’s interesting reading your process. My husband and I have adopted from Russia and were starting a second adoption when they banned the U.S. over the holiday season. It’s curious that you’re process is a little different though. We had to have our exam and several other things completed before even meeting with a social worker for our home study report. It’s nice that you’re getting to do things after your meetings, keeping the process moving.
I’m sorry if it’s mentioned and I didn’t notice, are you pursuing an international or domestic adoption?
Enjoy the training and the book!
A physical? It makes sense, but I never thought of it.
So, my question for you is this: do you prefer six sticks and no after effect or one stick and a goose egg with bruising? Yikes! Either way sounds dreadful! All this adoption talk made me think of an adoption story for you. I got to witness one for people I didn’t even know. I’ll let you know when I finally write it out.
One stick with a goose egg and bruising? #IWantToSayNEITHER! 😀
now i have another reason to be scared to get my blood taken. i didn’t even know that could happen!!
Your story makes me so nervous! We have our first foster (to adopt) class this weekend. I know we will have to get physicals and blood work soon – hope I don’t pass out.
At least we know it will all be worth it in the end!
uggghhhhhhhhhhhhh, another reason why we are friends. I make enemies in doctors offices all the time because I have the same issue and I insist on having the ONE nurse who knows how to deal with me. They should be happy. Just give me the right nurse and you won’t have to pick me up off the floor. You have a problem with that? LOL
Glad it’s over. Your arm looks horrid.
hugs
Now I”m queasy. Oh so queasy. Ugh.
Oooh, that happened to me once, on my hand. All the nurses gathered around to see the damage, which scared me even more. Love a good bedside manner. All I got out of the deal was a lot of pain and a lovely purple hand, but you and Kevin get to move one step closer to your new family. So worth it.
Layla – I just love you and your anxiety. I am the.most.anxious.person.alive! So it’s so nice to hear there are others just like me. I had to have surgery a few months back and I just about drove my doctor crazy with questions. I even interogated the anesthesiologist – asking him his age, how long he’s “knocking people out”, and what are the worst case scenios! That stuff freaks me out:(
I just received a copy of the Connected Child with the workbook in the mail, and man was I excited. A friend of mine (after reading a plethora of material on the subject) said that it is by far the best resource she has found. It has proven to be the most beneficial for their adoption experience. Anyway, all that to say, I think it is awesome that your adoption agency recommended and encouraged you all to make this a step to your adoption process…seems vital. I have yet to dive into the reading because after receiving it my husband agreed that it is equally important for him to go through it as well. Bonding hasn’t been as smooth sailing with our latest adoption, so we need all the encouragement we can get:). Love your updates! -erika
You can definitely REQUEST a butterfly but that doesn’t mean you will get it. For some reason they take that as an insult and then set out to prove they can get your blood with a regular needle. So many stories. So sorry you are hurting. Drawing blood is definitely a talent that few have. Did you know they can numb the area prior to digging around for your vein? Why keep that a secret?
Agreed! I also ask for the most experienced/whomever is feeling the luckiest if there is a choice of people drawing that day. I actually have a guy that I “stalk” around town that always gets me on the first poke… :o)
Yeah – I’ve got a few of those stories from Dr’s rooms as well – not fun! Generally, anytime something sharp comes into the picture it isn’t pretty over here 😉 Glad to hear you made it through!
Well, my good gracious, girl! I am sending up a prayer asking our sweet Jesus to heal that arm up quick…and maybe to keep those needles away from you for a while ;).
You’ll have your Master’s degree in bravery by the time your little Sweet Thang arrives! 🙂
After years of infertility treatment and blood draws I have scars on both my arms in that little crook of my arm. (I should mention my two kids were totally worth it!) however I ALWAYS tell them (tell!) them to use the butterfly needle in the back of my hand. SO much easier and you look tough because the world can see your bandaid!
Bless you! I’m scarred too, from all the needles during infertility stuff.
I’d do it all over again, too 😉
Oh, you poor dear! I am a hard prick too, and now I may be a bit more nervous next time I have blood drawn. Hope you are feeling better.
going through IVF so I’m no stranger to needles (have to inject yourself twice a day in the stomach for a fortnight initially, and then many many blood tests after that) and I still have a small bruise from a blood test a week ago. But I had no idea that could happen! Hope the pain eases soon!!
I’m cracking up at Kevin walking down the hall with his cup of urine! Sounds like something Jason would do!
We have family members awaiting a referral from So. Korea. They were fortunate enough to attend a Connected Child conference last weekend & they can’t stop talking about all they learned. See if you can find one in your area.
I am glad you are posting your experiences. We are in the middle of our first adoption (4th child) and seeing your posts have encouraged me to get going on the process when I feel like quitting! Glad you braved the needle. Your child is totally worth it! That is what I keep telling myself while feeling completely overwhelmed by the process to adopt. I am very excited for your family!
Hi Layla~ I read your blog all the time and really enjoy the little slice of your lives together that you share here. I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your experience. I can totally relate… I’ve had draw after draw just like yours. It doesn’t help that my one good arm is completely scarred after 5 years of infertility treatments. Try a warm compress on your bruise/arm… it might help. A warm compress also helps right after, as does wrapping your arm all the way around with a bandage at the draw site for an hour or so after having your blood drawn. I hope it gets to feeling better soon. Best of luck with your adoption journey. And a quick shout out for the Canton IKEA. That’s my “local” IKEA (an hour drive for me) and I was so excited to hear you were in my stomping grounds recently!
Melissa
I do not know you, but I visit your blog from time to time. You were brought to my mind a few times today. Just wanted to let you know that I was praying for you all today. God knows your needs and your concerns. He hears and is answering. Keep seeking, knocking and asking. God bless.
I’m with you…I don’t like needles. My advice is this…I always lie down on the bed thingy not seat in the seat. I always lie down while they prep and I have my eyes closed the entire time until it is finished. I had my first blood test at 38 and when I was pregnant at 40 and 42, let me say that there are so many more “taking blood” and needles that you just have to do it. My last blood test I actually sat up and had it done but I had to fast for 12 hrs but it was about 10am in the morning by the time I dropped the kids off, found the place I had to go and sat in the queue so I fainted once she started…when I woke up with her slapping my face gently I said did you get it ” and she replied” no…because you are dead weight when you faint so she had to look after me rather than the needle..so had to start all over again. I even had my little vegemite sandwiches ready to eat after the blood test but it was too long not to eat so I stand by my…….lie down, close your eyes and tell them you have to do this and wait until it is finished. It’s the only way for me. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia
Reminds me of the feeling every time I go to the doctor and have a series of tests including needles being poked on my skin. It’s so annoying to bear the anxiety and the pain of course. But in your case, I guess being poked by needles is going to be worth it once you succeed in your adoption process. Still, I could have fainted myself as I am really, really allergic to needles. Looking forward to your next post.
I am also a horrible stick, it took 3 nurses with my last c-section and 5 sticks to get my IV in and the one that did work? Well it managed to spray the nurse with blood and I felt so bad about it, like I aimed it there! I have learned that there are some people who are just really good sticks, and thankfully the nurse at my doctors office is one of them since I get my blood drawn 3-4 times a year for anemia. She rocks, one stick I dont need a butterfly and its all good. There are others who are not so good!
The Connected Child is awesome. Soak it all in. And, if you have a chance, attend one of Dr. Purvis’ “Empowered to Connect” conferences and/or view her videos. Have I somehow missed where you’re adopting from? I can’t recall reading that. I know you’re with Lifeline (as am I). If you are adopting from Ethiopia, we have a private Facebook page for families….email me at movedtomove @ gmail for an add.
The blood draw during my adoption physical was pretty awful too. I almost passed out! My veins are hard to find too so I always cringe when the process starts. The nurse did a HORRIBLE job. She stabbed and jabbed and kind of got into a vein but it obviously wasn’t in right because it really hurt and was taking FOREVER to fill the vial. That’s when I started getting hot and woozy and almost passed out. She finally pulled the needle out, gave me a few minutes to rest and then used a butterfly in the back of my hand. That one didn’t go great, but it was at least better than my arm. Hate, hate, hate having blood drawn! I tried fertility treatments for a while and I told my husband I was going to have PTSD from all the blood draws!
OH MY! I can totally relate! This is my experience almost every time. And everyone thinks “they” are the ones that are going to get it right the first stick. I suffered from severe Postpartum Preeclampsia with the birth of my daughter (our only child). When we were in the ER after be 36 hours of being released from the hospital after giving birth, they attempted 15 times to put in an IV (this included 3 collapsed veins and one burst vein). One nurse came in and said she was going to put an IV in my neck! That’s when I rudely said “Ah, no you are not, get out”! Hormones:-) In the end I ended up with a PICC Line (may you never and if you do, tell them to knock you out). I recently had to have some blood work done and they took 17 vials of blood! That was severe anxiety. Lucky me, she was good and it only took 3 sticks. Congrats on your adoption process! I will be intrigued to hear how this adoption process goes! Needless to say, due to our past pregnancy we have considered adoption, but are scared of the process and cost for that matter. Looking forward to future posts. Thanks for sharing! Sorry about your experience…it does stink. But secretly I am glad to know I have a vein twin out there! 🙂