Things I’d Tell My 37-Year-Old Self

Soon after I blogged about the Things I’d Tell My 17-Year-Old Self, I wondered what I might tell myself in right now, if I was 57, and looking back 20 years in the other direction.

Then I thought: Hey- my Mom is 20 years in the other direction.

So I asked her if she’d be up for sharing her thoughts on the subject, and about a week before Christmas, she gave me an envelope with a piece of paper inside.

It read…

1) Some of those crazy, heart-stopping fears you have are really just crazy. Red lights on your car dash do not always mean IMMINENT DANGER: CAR ABOUT TO IMPLODE. Dentists are there to help, not hurt. Dogs and horses that run away almost always come back for food. Overflowing toilets only get worse if you run. Wasps are very small and can be smooshed, if necessary, and seaweed is not an underwater monster trying to drown you…it’s just seaweed. (PS- At 57, you will hardly fear anything at all!)

2) You need to take care of your body. Brush and floss – MOISTURIZE – stretch and exercise – MOISTURIZE – drink lots of water – MOISTURIZE – eat unprocessed foods – MOISTURIZE. Vanity aside, at 57, you will have a lot of things left to do on your ‘bucket list’ that will require you to be in relatively good physical condition for several more years.

3) Money for retirement requires planning and diligence. Remind your children of this often. Also, quite a few of your bucket list items will cost some money. If you save a teeny $10/week over the next 20 years, you’ll have over 10,000 ‘bucket list bucks’ when you’re 57!

4) Almost-adult children need help deciding how to make their way into the real (big) world when they leave the nest. Spend lots of time helping them learn their strengths and passions so that they can have a successful, enjoyable career, and take care of themselves in any lifestyle they dream of. When you feel totally unqualified or need answers- search out capable guidance professionals, mentors, ministers, hypnotists- somebody! The old saying about “moms being as happy as their unhappiest child” is very true.

5) Family and close friend relationships need cultivating. Dig: find the real stuff. Aerate: expel the issues. Renew: forgive…it enlarges the future. Keep in touch, even if it means just being there to listen. Everyone needs, and deserves, people to catch them when they fall, and to cheer them on when they’re finding their footing. “Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo

Thank you, Mom! I love that you read my blog, and that I’ll have your words of wisdom saved right here forever! I’ll refer to them often…I promise.

Here’s to being fearless, fit, diligent, encouraging, and close with friends and family.

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94 Responses to Things I’d Tell My 37-Year-Old Self

1. Sarah J says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm

   Some wonderful advice! What a wise woman your mother is!

   

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2. ArtsyNina says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 3:56 pm

   Aww, your mom sounds awesome! Thanks for sharing!

   

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3. Cha Cha says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 3:58 pm

   Great advice. I love that your mom is recorded on your blog telling you this beautiful wisdom, so sentimental and sweet. Like moher like daughter. Wish you and your family the best in this new year.

   God Bless,
   Cha Cha

   

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4. Stacie @ hometownperch says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 3:58 pm

   I love your Mom’s words of wisdom. I especially love the one about friends. Good, lasting friendships don’t just happen to people. Your Mom is so right. They need to be nutured and cultivated to be sustained. My husband and I have worked hard on that since we moved back “home” 2 1/2 years ago. And It’s been so worthwhile.

   

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5. Autum says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 3:58 pm

   Thank you for sharing this. It brought tears to my eye. I’m a little older than 37 but I can relate to so many. I have young adult children and you don’t often find advice on how to be a parent even after they’ve left the nest. My mom passed away when I was just 19, so I feel like I’m in virgin waters at times. Reading your moms words felt like they could have been written for me.
   I don’t know if I’ve ever commented, but I read often and find so much inspiration. I actually linked to your blog in a post I wrote yesterday. Thanks for sharing not only your talent, but also your heart.

   

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6. Robin says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 3:59 pm

   I just came across your blog and I loved this post. What great advice and I hope I’m as wise as your mom some day. Reminds me very much of the type of things my mom would say.

   My New Year’s Resolution is to follow your mom’s advice

   

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7. Jackie K says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 4:00 pm

   Your Mom rocks!! (mine does too

   

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8. Marina {YummyMummyKitchen.com} says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm

   Great advice! I really needed to hear #1. Thanks to your mom

   

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9. Emily @ On the V Side says:

   Jan 1, 2012 at 4:04 pm

   I love this! Hope your mom doesn’t mind mothering the rest of us, too

   Emily

   

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10. tinajo says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    This is just great, put it in a safe place – it will be so nice to read again in the future!

    

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11. Lori H says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    Such great advice! Thanks for sharing. I am 49 and can still take away some tips from this.

    

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12. Deborah says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Wonderful words of advice. I wish I had read them 17 years ago. :~)

    

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13. Kim says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    This is a great list. Thanks, Layla’s Mom! I’m almost 50 and I agree with her. Great thoughts for a younger generation.

    

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14. the domestic fringe says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    I love that list! Your mom must be a very wise woman. Since I’m on the verge of 37, I’m definitely taking every single bit of that advice. Thank you!
    ~FringeGirl

    

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15. Bernie says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    I AM 57 too!!! May I add “Wear SUNSCREEN” to the list? And “Dont Blink”…the next 20 years will fly by, even faster than the last 20 years. Find something to enjoy, EVERY SINGLE DAY. You worry more about “adult” children in their 20′s, than teenagers….you’ll just have to trust me on that one. I agree with everything your mom says. Smart woman. ps I wouldnt go back to 37 if you paid me. 57 ROCKS!

    

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16. Jaimee says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    What timely advice. At 41, I find the older I get the more a yearn for reflections like this from older women who hold the advantage of wisdom and experience. Your mom is a certainly a treasure; I recognize many qualities in her from my own mom. Blessings on your New Year, Jaimee

    

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17. wendy says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Well I guess we now know who inspires your beautiful words.

    

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18. jennifer rizzo says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    I think that’s a great idea! Your mom is brilliant! I am looking at 40 this year, and wish my 60 year old self could give me some sound advice!

    

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19. Jen @ a place 2 call home says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Wow! This is kind of amazing.. My mom always says stop being so hard on yourself, in 5 and 10 years you are going to look back at pictures and remember how that day your hair looked ugly and you felt fat and now you’d kill to look like that!

    

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20. kim says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    great post!!! love your momma’s wise words.

    

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21. kate says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    You have a wise and cool mom!

    

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22. SheilaG says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    Beautiful wise words. You are so blessed to still have your mom, and she is so blessed to have a daughter who realizes how blessed she is!

    

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23. Alison says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    Tell your mother THANK YOU for sharing her words of wisdom! Your letter to your 17 year old self was one of my favorites.

    

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24. Leigh says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    What great advice at any age. Thanks for sharing your mom’s list with your readers.

    

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25. angela says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    smart mom…and a smart daughter because you listen!

    

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26. Rhonda I says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    So well said, Mom’s are awesome, I enjoyed it.. and will pass it along.

    

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27. Tracey says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    Such lovely and useful advice…this 40 year old self will take it all. I love the wisdom of women farther along in this life journey. Thanks for sharing your mom with us!

    

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28. Vicki V says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    I’m closer to your mom’s age than yours, and I think she has some very sage advice. I especially like the last bit about treasuring relationships, not possessions. That is actually tops on my list of resolutions this year: to nurture relationships.

    

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29. Frances says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    Great advice! My resolution this year was to save MORE. Looks like I’ll be investing in a good moisturizer too! Thanks TLC mom!

    

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30. kristin jo says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    I love this. What a wise woman. Thanks ladies for sharing.

    

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31. Erin says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    A great post!! Thanks to your mom for taking the time to share with us!

    

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32. Ann says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Hi Layla,
    I’m sort of new to your blog and this is my first time commenting. Your mom seems like a wise woman. Treasure every single minute you get with her. My mom was diagnosed with dementia 3 years ago. She has slowly slipped away until she’s almost gone. I don’t have any regrets though because we were very close and spent a lot of time together. Thank God for that. You sound like you love your mom very much. Just don’t forget to tell her that. Happy New Year…

    

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33. Elisabeth says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    Can I just say that your mother is “da bomb”! You are one very blessed daughter!

    

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34. Dixie Redmond says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    How beautiful. I guess I need to pretend I’m 70 and and what would I tell my almost 50 year old self….

    Thanks for sharing.

    Dixie

    

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35. Donna says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    You come from good stock!

    

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36. kat @ pretty in pink and green says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    Love this! So many words of wisdom and I am 37 as well!

    

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37. hello haha narf says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    terrific points to ponder! my mom passed in 2006 and i wish i would have asked her questions like this. thanks so much for sharing this. it means more than you can imagine.
    happy new year.
    

    

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38. Danica Evans says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    My favorite post of yours ever!

    

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39. giggles says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    At 55 I can tell you have a very very sage mother! Everything she said is so very true! She picked the gooduns too!! lol
    Happy New year to the both of you!

    Hugs Giggles

    

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40. Kim @ Sand & Sisal says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    Now I see where you get your writing talent from! What a wonderful woman to deliver such wisdom!

    

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41. Jane says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Your mom is brilliant. Moisturize!!! I am 51 and feel I have seen some of my bucket list and learned from the wild ways of my youth, which believe it or not, seems not so long ago!! You will always feel younger in your heart and mind, so take care of your body to match it!

    I have SO enjoyed following your blog this year. Best wishes to you and Kevin in all you do!!

    XO,
    Jane

    

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42. Pine Tree Home says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    What a great idea to have mom share her insight. We should go to our parents more often and truly seek out what they know and listen to what they say…even when we think we know more (at 15, 18, 37 or 57.)

    

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43. Shannon Hoose says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Very good advice!! Thanks!

    

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44. Eileen@cottage beach house says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    Your mom is a very wise woman. So eloquantly written. I agree with her on the savings and the moisturizing! A little bit adds up over time. Thanks Layla for sharing this special note,
    Eileen

    

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45. Louise says:

    Jan 1, 2012 at 11:28 pm

    What lovely advice, and what a wonderful relationship you obviously have with your mom. Thanks so much for sharing!

    

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46. Fairfield House says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 12:23 am

    Layla,

    I love Jude and her wise words; especially #5. This is proof positive that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

    Happy New Year, my friend.
    Deborah

    

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47. Erin{LavenderandLemonDrops} says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 2:13 am

    That is one awesome Mother! Really though…. I love every single bit of advice and encouragement that she gave You are a lucky woman to have her! P,S Great idea to ask her to write this… its so fun to hear these types of things from your parents and elders!

    

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48. amanda says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 5:26 am

    such a great post! i love hearing from wiser women about what they wished they’d known. thanks to you and your mom for sharing!!

    

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49. Beth Anderson says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 6:51 am

    Wonderful sentiment, thank you for sharing. I posted this on my facebook page for my friends. Well done.

    

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50. katrn says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 7:29 am

    That’s fantastic! I’m going to ask my mom to do the same thing. What a wonderful idea! Thank you to you and your mom for sharing such priceless insights.

    

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51. shaunna says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Lovely. Love these posts.
    
    shaunna

    

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52. Aunt Chriss says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Wonderful! Shared on my FB page…think I should read this at least once a week for the rest of my life.
    <3

    

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    • Jude says:

      Jan 3, 2012 at 12:27 pm

      Thanks Chriss!! You seem so brave, look SO YOUNG, are married to a super financially wise man, and have goal-orientated kids – I’m honored to think you could learn from me!

      

      Reply
53. Sherry Ann says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Amen to all of the above ! Smart Mamma you have there !

    

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54. Ricki Jill Treleaven says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    Your mom rocks out loud, Layla!

    

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55. Lin says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    I am 59 and I agree with your mom’s awesome wisdom! I wish I had know these things when I was in my 30s. I am going to send them to my 35 yr old daughter and hope she will realize how important they are. I do agree to add WEAR SUNSCREEN! So important! Love you Layla and your mom!

    

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56. Kim @ Everything Etsy says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    I loved, loved, loved this post! Yay for your sweet mom for doing this…it was nice to hear.

    Happy New Year to you and your family!

    ~Kim

    

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57. Karen says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    I recently had a dream where a much older and wiser woman sat with me and told me to be true to myself, to go with the flow and to believe and it would happen…at the end of the dream she so lovingly tucked me into my bed..when I asked who she was, as I didn’t recognize her, she turned to me and said “I’m you”… And quickly vanished!
    I was amazed by this encounter and have never forgotten it…I guess the point of this is to listen to the person in you for you already know what you need to do in your life..just listen!

    

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    • Kathleen says:

      Jan 3, 2012 at 11:00 pm

      Karen, what a lovely dream. Reassuring and wise.

      Sent by a much older and wiser woman . . .

      

      Reply
58. Kathleen says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Your Mother is wise beyond her years…great post!

    

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59. Catherine Cook says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    I am 60 and my kids are 27 and 25, respectively. If I were to write a letter to them right now, I would say almost exactly the same things that your mother said. She seems like a wise woman. I wish someone had told me the one about the $10/week twenty years ago … whew! Maybe I will write them letters for their birthdays this year. Thanks.

    

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60. Woolies says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    Your Mom has some wonderful advice!!
    One thing to add to #4 (since I am also 57…although rarely if ever admit it)
    Tell your children:
    Find your passion. Follow it. Don’t just find a job.

    Great blog, so glad I found you!

    Sara

    

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61. Julia @ Hooked on Houses says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    What beautiful and wise advice. Love this! Makes me think I should ask my mom what advice she’d have, looking back.

    

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62. Wendy says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Thank you for this post. It is my favorite. Ever.

    

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63. Ashlyn@Pinecone says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    Great advice!! Love the moisturize advice – too true : )
    Happy New Year – I love checking in here to see what you guys are up to. Good luck with HGTV!!! xo

    

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64. Diane says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    This is just what I needed today to give to my daughter. Good Info. Thanks for posting.

    

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65. Julie says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    Love your Mama!

    

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66. Jenny B. says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    Oh, that is terrific! Your mom must be a sweetheart. I think it’s really special that you have such a close relationship. Not all moms and daughters are like that, so don’t take it for granted.

    

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    • Layla says:

      Jan 2, 2012 at 9:19 pm

      It’s so crazy because we weren’t close at all until I was about 19 years old- but it’s been a real blessing getting closer with her since then.

      

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67. Kristin S says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    I turned 40 last year and on my 40 1/2 birthday I emailed 40 women friends over 40 asking these questions:
    What is one thing that has become more important to you as you’ve grown older?
    What is one thing that has become less important to you as you’ve grown older?
    What is one book that you would recommend I read in the coming months/years?
    What is one quality/virtue you would encourage me to cultivate in my life?
    What is one question that you would encourage me to ask myself (by way of personal reflection) as I approach this milestone in my life?

    The responsse has been so humbling and consistent. Very similar to your mom’s words. Wisdom comes with age for sure.

    

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68. Susan says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    Layla, Please tell your mom that I love her list! I am 56 and agree with her 100%. I wish that I had realized when I was 36 to just be myself. Being “me” is just fine.

    

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69. Pat says:

    Jan 2, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    What a wise Mom. I am 55 and called my 20 yr old daughter to chare with her as well.

    

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70. Jessica says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 8:06 am

    i suppose i should go moisturize!

    

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71. sheri slowey says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 9:41 am

    awesome post! love it. happy new year.

    

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72. jenn says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 9:46 am

    How awesome! Thanks for sharing your mom’s words of wisdom

    

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73. Bethany @ 3SonsPlus1...and... says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Absolutely loved this! So beautiful!

    

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74. Robyn at Everyday a la Mode says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Love your post! Great advice! I would just add to wear sunscreen everyday, drink more water, and don’t fret the small stuff!

    

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    • Jude says:

      Jan 3, 2012 at 12:30 pm

      I do wear sunscreen and drink lots of water, religiously, everyday – I forget that I even do it!! Thanks for the reminder.

      

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75. Amanda M says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 11:00 am

    What a clever idea you had ! Your Mom is one smart and level headed lady.

    Thank you for making my day today.

    

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76. Lisa says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Great post. It encouraged me to ask my mom to do the same.

    

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77. Gail says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 11:58 am

    If you don’t moisturize when you are 37, then when you are 57, you will look 77! So true! I’m definitely closer to your mom’s side and enjoy sharing what I think to be helpful to my daughters and other younger women. In fact the Bible tells we older women to do this. In Titus 2:5 the Bible says, “That they (the aged women) may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Gail

    

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78. Nathalie says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I loved this posting. thank you and your mom for sharing.

    

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79. Laura Casey says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    What a fantastic idea – your mom has so many great tips. Happy New Year,
    Laura Casey

    

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80. Laure Gill says:

    Jan 3, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    That was beautiful, and just what my 41 year old self needed to hear today, as my 19 year and I looked first her first apartment over the weekend….time flies, I want to savor every moment…and remember what matters most, and of course to moisturize !

    

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81. Erin says:

    Jan 4, 2012 at 8:27 am

    Such great ideas! After reading, I went right to ing.com and opened a “bucket list bucks” account for my 57 year old self

    

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82. LAWallner says:

    Jan 4, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    Can I be adopted? Please?!

    

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83. Laura says:

    Jan 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Great perspective! Good Advice! Especially about saving $10/wk for the future! Cannot emphasize the importance of this enough! Thanks!

    

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84. Stephanie says:

    Jan 4, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Your mother sounds like a very wise woman. Love all the advice & I need to heed some of those myself. At 27, I love hearing advice and wisdom from mothers. =)

    

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85. ashley @ the handmade home says:

    Jan 5, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    oh my gosh. I LOVE this. especially the running away from clogged toilets part. HAHAHAHA! SO glad to know it’s not JUST ME! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

    

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86. Jeanette says:

    Jan 5, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    I am 57. {Can’t believe I’m admitting this in a comment section} Anyway…listen to your mom…she is right.

    

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87. Kelly says:

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    Wonderful and wise words! Thanks for sharing!

    

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88. camdunson says:

    Jan 7, 2012 at 6:34 am

    WOW! Your mom is brilliant! Now we know where you get it!

    

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89. Tina says:

    Jan 7, 2012 at 11:31 am

    Your mom is wise! Please tell her thank you for the advice!

    

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90. Lisa says:

    Jan 8, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    I’m 50 and your mom is right on. My mom passed away when I was 38. I had not even thought of what I would like to ASK my mom about being 58 or 68 (her age when she passed). I would have LOVED to known if she even went through menopause-if she did, she never complained! I would have like to have known more about her deep passions as a senior woman (outside of her kids, grandkids, family). I was able to ask if she had any regrets-she told me not one single regret

    

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