“You can not lead a child to a place of healing if you do not know the way yourself.”
-Dr. Karyn Purvis
Our Sonny said his full name in the truck the other day!
(Steevenson Chevalier Palmer!)
…and, yes, I know the chest clip is supposed to be at armpit level. I noticed (after capturing that clip) that the shoulder pads kept sliding down, causing the chest clip to slide down, so I have since removed them and the clip stays in place just fine now.
It has been so fun teaching/experiencing new things with him every day. Whether it’s how to say his name, or how to take a bath, or how to play hide & seek- Kevin and I feel so lucky to learn with him. Sometimes, *right* before he falls asleep, he takes my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes, and whispers one last question before he drifts off. Last night, he said, “Mesye Leo is coming and Mesye Bob is going?“. (Earlier that day, we saw one man driving towards us, and one man driving away from us in their dump trucks and he decided they were Leo and Bob.) I told him yes, and he curled his back to my front, spoon-style, and wrapped my arms around himself like he does every night when he’s finally ready to sleep. Which reminds me… I continue to be amazed by his ability to be wide awake one second, and sound asleep the next. How on earth he can go from a somersault to snoring within the same minute is mind-blowing. 😀
Of course, life together hasn’t been happy-go-lucky every moment over the past few weeks. Along with extremely joyful times, there are also times where we all struggle to understand each other/communicate with each other. There are tantrums, and tears (ours, not his), and (for obvious reasons) I think all three of us still feel waaay out of our elements.
But one super helpful thing we learned from our post-adoption counselor this week is that a child who is in an environment that feels predictable is far less likely to have negative physiological and emotional responses. So today, we’re going to create a daily schedule chart. The visual will hopefully help show our Sonny exactly what is going to happen each day (and what transitions to expect throughout the day) so he doesn’t feel like his world is quite so out of control…causing him to feel like he needs to control everything and everybody almost every single second of every single day, which often leads to long and physically & emotionally exhausting melt downs. Right now, it feels a little like he is always on the edge of a “flare-up” (especially when it comes to wanting to make ALL of his own meals/snacks (with appliances and utensils he shouldn’t use, and that consist of WAY too much of every ingredient) and then not eat any of them until *after* the tantrum, at which point he enthusiastically eats one of the choices *he* made, and often asks for seconds- bless his heart), so our hope is to limit his choices, and establish some daily rhythms and routines that will provide the framework for trust and bonding, which will create internal calmness and help ease the transition to his new life.
Here’s the chart I’m going to use as inspiration for our chart:
I’ll keep you posted on how ours turns out and how it affects our day-to-day!