My joints and calf are feeling much better now, and of all my moments spent resting & reading on the couch last week, this one was my favorite:
The moment my inbox said I had an email from this guy…
His name is Shaun Groves, and he works with Compassion– a child sponsorship and advocacy organization.
Of all my moments resting & reading on the couch last week, this one was my scariest:
The moment my inbox said I had an email from this guy…
His name is Shaun Groves, and I’ve been praying HARD about what he said in that email ever since I got it. The second paragraph of his email read:
“I’m headed to Peru in November with a bunch of bloggers and I’d very much like you to consider joining us.”
I first learned about the Compassion Blogger trips soon after we started sponsoring a little boy named Wat (from Thailand) a few years ago.
Since then, I’ve read about several friends’ Compassion Blogger experiences on their blogs, (Angie, Nester, Ree, Gussy, Emily) but I hadn’t ever really thought about what I would do if I had an opportunity to take one. They do, after all, involve (sometimes) getting shots, and (always) flying on airplanes.
Truth #1: I’m afraid of all medicines. Pill, liquid, powder or paste- I can’t bring myself to even take a Tylenol unless I have the most monster-sized migraine ever. Why? At some point along the way my brain decided to believe that I will most definitely have a bad or allergic (and possibly fatal) reaction to them. I also can’t shake the thought that someone has actually filled (or re-filled) my medicine containers with something other than what the label on it says. Something poisonous, or that I’m allergic to, of course. Irrational? Probably. But I titled this paragraph with the word, “truth”, so there ya have it.
Truth #2: The last time I traveled by plane was in 2005. I hadn’t flown for a few years before that because of a previous scary experience I had while flying, but I needed to join Kevin on a songwriting-related trip to Los Angeles. It was going to be a hard trip for him and he asked that I go with for emotional support. Upon take-off, it became abundantly clear that I was, in fact, still 100% terrified of flying, and I had one of those get-me-off-this-plane-right-now moments that shook me to my core. I had the mother of all panic attacks on that flight and spent the entire five-day trip completely freaked about how we were going to get home. (So much for that emotional support Kev was hoping for!) Because of fear, I came THISCLOSE to insisting that we DRIVE back to Alabama from Los Angeles. I cried desperate tears in the air on the way back home, and vowed to never fly again after we (somehow) (miraculously) made it back home safely aboard flight 308.
I’ll never forget that number.
I’m kidding.
I don’t remember the number, but I am totally serious about how scared I am to fly. Irrational? Probably. But, again, I’m just spittin’ the truth here.
(You can imagine my surprise when I began to feel a call to internationally adopt. More about that in a future post!)
All that said, and needless to say, I’ve had time to really think about what I would do if I had an opportunity to take a Compassion Blogger trip over the past few days.
The answer I’ve decided to commit to:
I’d go.
I’d go to Peru with God, and my husband, and a bunch of fellow bloggers- whom I cannot wait to meet. And, yes, I will get through those flights. (I will get through those flights, I will get through those flights) I’ve already got a burning, stress-knot the size of Machu Picchu in my stomach, but I know I will I have a rope bridge moment when we land safe and sound. No matter how afraid I get when I think about flying- actually sitting in that seat, smelling the smells, hearing the noises, and knowing how high we are off the ground- the thought of stepping off an airplane and sporting a smile that almost doesn’t fit on my face makes me want to try again.
While I was thinking & praying, and thinking & praying this weekend, I thought about the reasons why I should go, and the reasons why I shouldn’t go. The list of why shouldnt’s was very short and entirely fear-based. The list of why should’s doesn’t seem to have an ending (I haven’t found one yet anyway), and in a nutshell, it’s a matter of mattering, and showing less-fortunate folks they do.
I am so grateful for the opportunity the folks at Compassion have given us, and I feel blessed to have been invited to go with them.
So what is the purpose of a Compassion Bloggers trip?
Shaun says, “I think it’s helpful for all of us to remember the purpose of these trips. They are not rewards for faithful support of Compassion, nor are they your one opportunity to meet your sponsored child. Compassion International has an open door policy: Any sponsor can see Compassion’s ministry for themselves and meet their sponsored child. Go here to learn more about Sponsor Tours.
These trips are primarily journalistic: spending a week in a country asking questions, taking pictures, experiencing poverty and witnessing progress, ingesting large amounts of programmatic information and regurgitating it all nightly in the form of a blog post. It’s hard work.
A Compassion Blogger trip is designed to do three things:
1. Release From Poverty:Â Get as many children sponsored as possible with integrity.
2. Inform Sponsors:Â Educate sponsors at home about the particulars of Compassion’s ministry to their child.
3. Expose & Inspire: Introduce first-world Christians to third-world need and ministry and to what the bible says about poverty in hopes that they will care for the poor even if it’s not through Compassion International.”
I hope you’ll follow along with our posts from Peru. We’ll be traveling from November 12-18th.
In the meantime, I know that I need to focus on what happens during the DASH, not the flights before and after it.
Music makes me less afraid. Let’s listen Shaun play some today!
(This performance of Come By Here, by Shaun Groves, was recorded in a bathroom on a previous Compassion Blogger trip. Gotta love those acoustics!)
Wow, Layla. I completely feel you on the flying bit. I’m completely petrified. But oh, how worth it will all have been in the end. I’ll be looking forward to your trip.
I love how God loves us – how He holds us tightly in His mighty hands, fears, warts and all and says I am greater, greater than all your fears. He loves you just as He loves those little ones in Peru and I believe He is bringing you both together for His purposes. How blessed you will be and how your heart will be changed forever.
I can hardly wait to read your words and see your pictures. Many blessings as you go. I will be praying…
Hooray! So glad you’re going. My blog trip to the Philippines was life-changing. You won’t regret it a bit.
Have I not commanded you? be STRONG, COURAGEOUS, do NOT be terrified, do NOT be discouraged, for the LORD your GOD will be with you, WHEREVER you may go. Joshua 1:9
🙂
Cracking up a little from truth one, get out of my head! I suffered with agoraphobia for years so I hear you loud and clear. This is what I do know, a panic attack, while uncomfortable, won’t kill you, it will build and decrease, egg it on and see, it’s nothing to fear. I applaud you for doing this, do it afraid and let God shine through you and be glorified.
Big Hugs from Cali
What an opportunity! Valid fears; however, either could happen whether you are in Alabama or Peru. Make friends with everyone around you on the plane, get an aisle seat, walk around a lot, make friends with the flight staff, and lock yourself in the bathroom with a picture of your “sponsor” child. It will be all worth it in the end. Don’t you just love it when the “Big Guy” pushes us out of our comfort zone – in your case – out of a plane!!
Yes, you are meant to go. Plane, pills, shots, all of it.
I am very excited for you. I’m sure I am not just speaking for myself; if any of your 1,000’s of followers want to help defray some of the costs for both you and Kevin, I would gladly donate $10.00. Anybody want to set up an on-line account for Layla and Kevin to accept donations?
Remember, your “going” will bless more people than you know. One person does make a difference.
~Becky in California
This is SO SO SO exciting!! It’s my dream to go on a Compassion Bloggers trip someday.. eventually… so I will be living vicariously through your every word.
I’m absolutely certain that God will be so busy working in the most amazing ways that you will not even give a thought to the flight back home while you’re there. I”m also certain that He answers prayers, removes fear, gives supernatural peace. Especially when you’re right in the center of His will, doing exactly what He asked you to do.
Only amazing things ahead for you, my friend! So excited for you!
Layla – I just want to tell you that I have been EXACTLY where you are with anxiety and panic. I had the same fears about medicine and flying. I had panic attacks several times a day. I have been panic free for over 6 years now and it was no small miracle. I was pretty debilitated for a while – couldn’t even care for my kids. I am telling you … you can do this!! You might need a little Xanax to take the edge off – but you will get off that plane in Peru and be so proud of yourself – it will be pure joy!
After not flying for 12 years, my husband took me to Barcelona, Spain for my 40th birthday. I was scared to death, but I did it and it has opened up a whole new feeling of freedom for me.
I will be happy to talk or email anytime if you need a shoulder. Don’t dwell … it will only make it worse. 🙂
What a wonderful opportunity for you, Layla! I have no doubt that your focus will be on the good that you will do when you get to Peru, that the flight there (and back) will be the smallest thought in your mind.
I’ve been flying since I was four (having flown from the UK to Australia), and I’m sure I’ve flown several hundred thousand miles at this point, and let me tell you – it’s much safer than driving!
Good luck to you and Kevin!
I love your blog and I have never commented before either. I think this opportunity for you and your husband is simply amazing and I think that it is great that you have decided to commit to going.
Please know that you do not have to fly in fear.. there are so many tool to help people who are fearful. I urge you to look some up and find some help for yourself so that you can be the best possible you for your wonderful adventure. You deserve it!
God will bless you and Kevin for trusting Him to take your hand on this trip.
Layla,
I have loved, loved your diy tips and renovations – but the Compassion blogging takes your site to the next level for me. God has given you a platform to help others – how great is that?
And “Perfect love casts out fear.” As you look to Him, He will lead you in this adventure. Nothing will be quite the same.
Praying for you, joyfully!
Yay! I’m so glad you’re going. I work for Compassion and always thought you should go on one of these trips. You will have so much fun and be so challenged at the same time. Thank you for responding to Proverbs 31:8 with your platform!
P.S. Now that I think of it, I remember that when I found out you were a sponsor, I submitted your name to our web team to go on a trip! 🙂
By the way, I wrote a book called “Hope Lives” that Compassion sometimes uses to prepare people to go on trips like these – about how the average person can respond to poverty. I’ll send you a copy if you like, just email me your address! [email protected]
I loved this post and the song at the end was exactly the message to repeat to yourself in preparation for the trip… that Jesus will come to meet you in your weakness and will totally be with you in that plane. He can even give you that “rope bridge” moment of victory over your fear of flying once and for all! That is what I will be praying for you as you journey to Peru in a few months. Thanks for your open honesty, Layla. It’s what keeps me coming back to your blog time after time. That and the design ideas :o)
Our family sponsors 3 children. One through World Vision, one through Compassion International, & one through Food For the Hungry. One of which is my 16 year olds child she pays for herself 🙂
I pray some day we can travel and possibly meet our sponsor kids. What a neat opputunity you and Kevin have <3 I can't wait to read about your trip!
I was crying by the 2nd paragraph. There is a REASON for this trip. I am so very proud of you kids!!!!
Replace the F word!!!!!! No more FEAR, just FAITH!
Let Go. Let God.
My favorite saying…… (see below)
My Dear,
Let me do it.
Love,
God
P.S. Now, what can we do to help —- besides pray?
Thank you, Ter’e!
We are always so happy to see you here! 😀
I LOVE that little letter you included in your comment. Matter of fact, I think I need to print that out and take it with me to Peru!
Thank you!!!
A boy named Peter grew up in Uganda. He did not own a pair of shoes until he was 18 years old. He was sponsored by Compassion and got to go to good schools. He wound up at The Master’s College in Southern California where he knew a girl named Lisa. He introduced Lisa to my son, Kevin. Kevin and Lisa got married and Peter was a groomsman. Peter now works for Compassion and flies all over the world all the time getting sponsors for kids. It is so great to see how God is using him and how he has come full circle. Compassion is a wonderful group of people. Glad you’ll be working with them!
I just shared your comment on Facebook and Twitter, Betsy. Absolutely HEARTWARMING! 😀
Layla – I’m so happy for you. You are a courageous gal! So glad that you have made a commitment to not letting fear win by making you miss out on amazing.
I’ll be praying for you! 🙂
Brenda
This post made me cry!!! I am so excited for you!!! I have a sign on my wall that says “Let your faith be bigger than your fear!” and that is exactly what you are doing….you are going to have an amazing, life changing trip!!!
Yeah for taking a leap of faith and following His calling! Can’t wait to follow along on your trip. Will pray for you as you prepare and journey.
so excited that you have made the choice to push past your fears and go on this adventure. really looking forward to reading all about the trip.
i’ll be praying for you!
Layla, God is going to reward your faith! Expect great miracles and blessings on this trip! I’m so excited for you!
Here is Peter’s story. It is powerful! http://vimeo.com/37030831
Layla. I am so excited for you! You have already kicked Satan between the legs by committing to go instead of listening to the fear he throws on you. Good job! Keep telling him to leave you alone, and he won’t be able to stay. I can’t wait to hear all about your trip! I will be one of many who are praying you through!!! Much love to you and Kev!
May our God bless you with his peace as you venture forth, peace that passes understanding, peace in the midst of real or imagined threats.
Thank you for your inspiring post and your willingness to say: “YES!”
I cannot WAIT to hear what God does in and through you while you are in Peru. I fell in love with the Nester’s posts last time – I’m sure I will do the same with yours. Compassion rocks. 🙂
This sounds like an amazing trip. I get terrified of flying too. Although not as much as you but I generally spend the whole takeoff in prayer. Just praying for God to take the wings in His hands and get us there safely. I’ve found flying is so hard for me because I have to relinquish all control. My complete trust has to be in God.
God will bless you tremendously through this trip and I can’t wait to hear all about it!
OK Layla, I too was a terrified flyer (ok still am). I didn’t step on a plane for 8 years until this last December when my family went on a trip to Arizona (Los Angeles to AZ only 1 1/2 hr trip). But my fear was enormous. I took a pill. It got me on the plane. I don’t remember the flight, but there is no reason to sit in the fear and trauma if you can take a pill. I’m so sorry to hear that taking drugs is also a fear of yours, but see a doctor and have them prescribe you a few pills. I only got four just for the trip. I thought I’d never fly again, but now that I have, I will just take a pill. I was afraid to get on elevators (I’m seriously claustrophobic) but now I’ve flown, I say in my heard as a get on an elevator, “I flew, I can handle this elevator.” I also bring my prayer book and there is a travelers prayer I say over and over and over again (It’s in Hebrew so I have to concentrate to say it correctly). Think what makes you most comfortable and safe and bring it with you. And know that the trip will be extraordinary and so worth it. I’m very very happy I can share in your adventures.
If all of these comments could lift you on this trip I’m sure you will be safe in your travels~I know there will be an epiphany waiting for you in Peru! So excited for you! Loved Shaun’s “bathroom” recording!
Yay for your Compassion trip! My husband and I have sponsored a Compassion child each for the past few years and it’s been really rewarding…I signed on when a friend of mine actually went to the Dominican Republic to meet his ‘child’ and found everything to be ‘on the level’ (i.e. his child DID exist in circumstances exactly as posted!). It’s a fabulous organization! Prayers for your nervous flight…I don’t like to fly either and am pretty tense until the plane actually touches down. Bring a REALLY good book that you’ve already read and loved to keep yourself occupied. A well-loved book is as soothing as a comfy quilt! 🙂 Can’t wait to read about your adventures!
Layla maybe you can talk to a professional to help you with the phobia of flying, besides God that is. We have sponsored a child from Colombia from Compassion. A great organization. Maybe putting lavender oil near your nose can help combat the plane smells. I do agree about planes and nerves. Thank goodness that the airlines have banned smoking on the flights!
The world works in mysterious ways. If you adopted a child from abroad, you would have to travel. If you had a child that needed medical care in New York City or someplace far away, you would have to fly. This is the perfect time for you to take flying therapy. I’m serious. I’ve seen it on TV. You talk, then you visit the airport, then you sit on a plane.(No trip). You Need To Do This. It will make your life so much better. What if you were picked up for your TV show? What if you had to do a press tour? The door is opening for you to become a real advocate for this cause.
About medication. A lot of medicines are derived from plant sources. Aspirin has the active ingredient that was in willow bark. Antibiotics come from mold, and other natural phenomenon. If you are privileged to adopt a child, you will have to administer vitamins, fluoride, and regular medications, especially for fevers. If you won’t take a drug, how could you give one to your child? You must confront this fear. Start with M&Ms. Imagine the worst thing that can happen to you after you take an M&M. Feel your heart beat, your sweat come, tremors, whatever. You recover. Then try a baby aspirin, see what happens. Then a whole aspirin. If you visit the Altiplano in Peru, you will definitely need to take something, at least Advil for headaches. The altitude change from near sea level where you live to 8000 ft takes some getting used to. I am a pharmacist. Go visit your nicest looking local pharmacy. Talk to the pharmacist. Tell them your fears. They should let you come back during a slow time and show you around. They can show you exactly how they fill a prescription and the safeguards they take. They will probably let you watch your own prescription being filled if you ask. If they don’t, find another pharmacy. You Can conquer this, and you will need to, to become a parent. Looking forward to your trip. Please tell us all the details. I love Peru. A friend told me that Cuzco was her favorite city in the world. If you can get to Macchu Picchu, do so. In a few years they probably won’t allow people to walk around and touch the stones and buildings because they are getting loose. Ann
God speed, my friend! I look forward to reading about your adventures, and I’m very happy you’re following your heart : )
oxox
Jennifer
“Contrary to normal expectations, it can be much riskier, much costlier to stay in the shallow water rather than to trust the Lord and launch out into the deep.” – Art DeMoss
I’ll be praying for your safety and for God to give you his unreasonable peace as you launch out (or should I say, take off!). I know Peru is a BIG country, but if you meet an 8 year old named Zarely Abigail, and happen to remember this comment, give her a hug for me!
oh Layla I will be praying for you! I know all too well the fear of flying, but “Perfect Love cast out fear” 1 John 4:18
So excited for you & know it will be life changing. I have a dear friend & neighbor Kristen Welch who went on that trip with Shaun a couple of years ago and it totally transformed her & her family and they have now opened a Maternity House in Africa. You can read more about it here on her blog: http://wearethatfamily.com/the-mercy-house/
I thought of your rope bridge moment as soon as you started talking about your flight anxiety. Phil. 4:13.
What a wonderful opportunity! You WILL be blessed and BE a blessing….and, remember, the LORD has NOT given you a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND!! Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you.
How exciting! : ) My husband and I also support Compassion. It’s concerning to me that within the Christian community, we aid the poor by bringing their children into our own families and behaving as though it is a good, happy thing. I LOVE knowing that the money we give to Compassion helps keep exisiting families together. What a beautiful way to tangibly show the love of God to another family! Good luck on your trip, I’m sure it will be amazing!
Exciting! But it doesn’t matter how much faith you have, panic attacks are real and they are usually hormonally driven. Have your levels checked and you may find some relief there.
We are not religious, but meditative/Buddhist ideals speak to us-and the thing about fear is that it is something created, rather than discovered. This is why desensitizing works; we deconstruct the wall of fear that we have told ourselves is real.
I don’t love flying, but my dad was a pilot. I KNOW it’s safer than any transportation except Amtrak. And Amtrak just doesn’t go to Peru, LOL . Sorry Kiddo. Enjoy your trip!
This sounds like an amazing opportunity! I’m excited to hear all about it!
I also can’t wait to hear more about your call to adopt internationally! My husband and I have that calling as well! 🙂
Thanks, Ashley! Kevin and I will do our best to share every detail of the trip. I’m so happy to hear you have a heart for adoption too! 😀
Thank you for being bold enough to put aside your fears and do what you know Jesus has for you. From reading your blog over the past two years, I know that you have a big heart for people. I am sure that one sponsorship through your blog would seem worth the fears and anxiety. One child being nourished and taken care of is worth a few shots and a plane ride (although I hear you on the plane anxiety!!!). Thank you for investing your time and talents to help others. I know that the mamas that can stop worrying about keeping their children alive because of the support they will recieve through your followers will certainly be worth the fear that comes with traveling. I cant wait to see your posts from Peru!!
Hi Courtney!
You’re right- one sponsorship is worth all of it! Thank you for letting me know you’ll be with us during our trip! 😀
Oh Layla! I’m so thrilled for you! I love what Compassion does and cannot wait to hear all you have to say about your trip to Peru & about one of my favorite subjects: adoption. I too was once afraid of flying. Oh heck, who am I kidding? I still am, but I don’t read Psalms during take-off anymore, not that it would hurt. However, my flights for mission trips and family emergencies always seem to have purpose and calm surrounding them. I hope you experience the same. I remember a sermon about how we put God in a box sometimes and somehow that translated into therapy for my fear of flying. I instead thought of how God has our little airplane in a box going from A to B and just how in control He really is. If I don’t look out the window (which ain’tnowaythat’sgonnahappen), then I just imagine I’m in a bus & get immersed in a good magazine or four, Cannot wait to hear all you have to blog about!! Will be praying for you!
Thank you, Rachel! It really helped me to read that, and I will definitely be thinking about that!! 😀
I admire you and you husband for going and doing a good deed… I did not read your other comments, which I am sure were complimentary and trying to give you some strength with the problem(s) you have that you stated. My thing is that there are people like me, out of work, and struggling. I am one who would LOVE to help others in another nation, but leaving my house and bills is just not feasible. I do not have the funds to do that. Bills have to be paid if one is gone, it’s a fact of life. So I hope that you will thank your lucky stars that you could AFFORD to help others (and leave your worldly BILLS here, plus have the funds to take care of them while you are away helping others). Maybe by my saying this you will realize that that’s the true helping for others… when one has the FUNDS to help others and will do so. And the good Lord will help you deal with any emotional issues you feel are a barrier to you. Sorry — I know this is probably a comment you do NOT want. Others reading this will say, “How DARE she say that about Layla!!” But I guess I just want to make you think. Then again, who the HELL am I to make YOU think, correct? 🙂
So take this with a grain of salt…. I DO wish you well on your trip in the Fall. Godspeed.
Best,
Gloria
Hey Gloria!
Not to worry! Yours is not the type of comment I don’t want to get AT ALL! 😀 It’s actually something I thought about from the minute I got the email from Shaun. We hit rock bottom a few years ago and thought surely we would lose everything, but thankfully our situation has slowly turned around and writing, photographing, and blogging has become a full-time blessing/job- which is another reason why I want to go on the trip. It’s an opportunity to continue to publish posts we feel passionate about. 🙂
Thank you for taking the time to swing by and share your heart today, Gloria! I’m really looking forward to sharing our Peru posts with you and I will say a prayer that things turn around for you soon. Please stay in touch!
Thank you for saying a prayer for me, Layla… that is very kind of you and I need all the prayers I can get. 😉
I will, of course, also say a prayer for you and Kevin for your future trip. Don’t worry, God will ease your mind and you will feel His help. Again: Godspeed!
Best,
Gloria
I cannot wait to read your posts on your trip. Your trip is going to ROCK because you are following the Lord in spite of the fear! Thanks for being an honest and faithful sister.
Thank you, Brianne! I appreciate your kind comment so much! 😀
Beautiful! I’m encouraged by you stepping out in faith and obedience despite fear. So excited to see what God has in store for you!
I can’t wait to hear what God is going to do in you and through you during this trip! Also, I look forward to hearing more about adoption – we adopted our daughter from Vietnam 11 years ago, and we always say that it was the hardest thing and the best thing that we ever did! May God bless you and keep you as you step out in faith. I feel sure that there are many blessings ahead for you and Kevin!
Layla, I am so happy to hear your news, for many reasons. One, because I am Peruvian 🙂 Both my parents are from Lima, and I was “created” there but born in Massachussetts. I still have family there, lots and lots, even a half brother with 7 kids. Peru is a beautiful country – we took a trip there to visit family in 1985, when I was gosh, maybe 14. I will never forget that trip. I didn’t want to go – I was selfish. I didn’t want to go to a poverty stricken place, to be inconvenienced. But when it was time to leave, I didn’t want to leave there. It was just such an amazing place. We visited Machu Picchu and it took my breath away. But what you are doing, is amazing. Selfless. I have seen the poverty, the children in the streets – it was heart wrenching. We did what we could – and even now, we help support my brother’s 7 kids. I know you will be blessed many times over, before, during and when you return from this trip. I have family all over the country, so if you all need assistance, please contact me and I can put you in contact with someone. I look forward to reading Shaun’s blog and info, and your journey. Hugs!
Bless your heart Layla! You are so brave to push yourself like that! A lot of people wouldn’t! I am proud of you and just remember, everywhere you go, God is ALWAYS with you!
So proud of you, my friend, for saying YES! I know it will be the experience of a lifetime and if I could I’d sit in that other seat next to you on the plane and speak funny things to you and get your mind off the big ole’ airplane. Doing one of these trips is on my wish list of things I’d love to do too. So, you go and do and be blessed! xoxo
First of SO glad your feeling better…I am pretty sure you just don’t do good being a sitter around er!!! I do have to ask though…among many blogs and such I follow. I am kind of curious regarding helping children, in poverty, terrible living conditions, whatever it may be. Do we not have allot of that here right in our own country. I guess I decided to ask you your thoughts as I read this post…and how AFRAID you are to fly. Do I not “get it” is it SO much worse in other countries.??? We have this discussion allot, like some of the stars that go to these other countries and help…give millions and so on. My brain just cannot seem to understand WHY we don’t help our own if you will…I think these programs are SO wonderful…and very sad that there is such sadness and desperate needs such as this, but I just had to ask your opinion. Thanks for listening:)