My joints and calf are feeling much better now, and of all my moments spent resting & reading on the couch last week, this one was my favorite:
The moment my inbox said I had an email from this guy…
His name is Shaun Groves, and he works with Compassion– a child sponsorship and advocacy organization.
Of all my moments resting & reading on the couch last week, this one was my scariest:
The moment my inbox said I had an email from this guy…
His name is Shaun Groves, and I’ve been praying HARD about what he said in that email ever since I got it. The second paragraph of his email read:
“I’m headed to Peru in November with a bunch of bloggers and I’d very much like you to consider joining us.”
I first learned about the Compassion Blogger trips soon after we started sponsoring a little boy named Wat (from Thailand) a few years ago.
Since then, I’ve read about several friends’ Compassion Blogger experiences on their blogs, (Angie, Nester, Ree, Gussy, Emily) but I hadn’t ever really thought about what I would do if I had an opportunity to take one. They do, after all, involve (sometimes) getting shots, and (always) flying on airplanes.
Truth #1: I’m afraid of all medicines. Pill, liquid, powder or paste- I can’t bring myself to even take a Tylenol unless I have the most monster-sized migraine ever. Why? At some point along the way my brain decided to believe that I will most definitely have a bad or allergic (and possibly fatal) reaction to them. I also can’t shake the thought that someone has actually filled (or re-filled) my medicine containers with something other than what the label on it says. Something poisonous, or that I’m allergic to, of course. Irrational? Probably. But I titled this paragraph with the word, “truth”, so there ya have it.
Truth #2: The last time I traveled by plane was in 2005. I hadn’t flown for a few years before that because of a previous scary experience I had while flying, but I needed to join Kevin on a songwriting-related trip to Los Angeles. It was going to be a hard trip for him and he asked that I go with for emotional support. Upon take-off, it became abundantly clear that I was, in fact, still 100% terrified of flying, and I had one of those get-me-off-this-plane-right-now moments that shook me to my core. I had the mother of all panic attacks on that flight and spent the entire five-day trip completely freaked about how we were going to get home. (So much for that emotional support Kev was hoping for!) Because of fear, I came THISCLOSE to insisting that we DRIVE back to Alabama from Los Angeles. I cried desperate tears in the air on the way back home, and vowed to never fly again after we (somehow) (miraculously) made it back home safely aboard flight 308.
I’ll never forget that number.
I’m kidding.
I don’t remember the number, but I am totally serious about how scared I am to fly. Irrational? Probably. But, again, I’m just spittin’ the truth here.
(You can imagine my surprise when I began to feel a call to internationally adopt. More about that in a future post!)
All that said, and needless to say, I’ve had time to really think about what I would do if I had an opportunity to take a Compassion Blogger trip over the past few days.
The answer I’ve decided to commit to:
I’d go.
I’d go to Peru with God, and my husband, and a bunch of fellow bloggers- whom I cannot wait to meet. And, yes, I will get through those flights. (I will get through those flights, I will get through those flights) I’ve already got a burning, stress-knot the size of Machu Picchu in my stomach, but I know I will I have a rope bridge moment when we land safe and sound. No matter how afraid I get when I think about flying- actually sitting in that seat, smelling the smells, hearing the noises, and knowing how high we are off the ground- the thought of stepping off an airplane and sporting a smile that almost doesn’t fit on my face makes me want to try again.
While I was thinking & praying, and thinking & praying this weekend, I thought about the reasons why I should go, and the reasons why I shouldn’t go. The list of why shouldnt’s was very short and entirely fear-based. The list of why should’s doesn’t seem to have an ending (I haven’t found one yet anyway), and in a nutshell, it’s a matter of mattering, and showing less-fortunate folks they do.
I am so grateful for the opportunity the folks at Compassion have given us, and I feel blessed to have been invited to go with them.
So what is the purpose of a Compassion Bloggers trip?
Shaun says, “I think it’s helpful for all of us to remember the purpose of these trips. They are not rewards for faithful support of Compassion, nor are they your one opportunity to meet your sponsored child. Compassion International has an open door policy: Any sponsor can see Compassion’s ministry for themselves and meet their sponsored child. Go here to learn more about Sponsor Tours.
These trips are primarily journalistic: spending a week in a country asking questions, taking pictures, experiencing poverty and witnessing progress, ingesting large amounts of programmatic information and regurgitating it all nightly in the form of a blog post. It’s hard work.
A Compassion Blogger trip is designed to do three things:
1. Release From Poverty: Get as many children sponsored as possible with integrity.
2. Inform Sponsors: Educate sponsors at home about the particulars of Compassion’s ministry to their child.
3. Expose & Inspire: Introduce first-world Christians to third-world need and ministry and to what the bible says about poverty in hopes that they will care for the poor even if it’s not through Compassion International.”
I hope you’ll follow along with our posts from Peru. We’ll be traveling from November 12-18th.
In the meantime, I know that I need to focus on what happens during the DASH, not the flights before and after it.
Music makes me less afraid. Let’s listen Shaun play some today!
(This performance of Come By Here, by Shaun Groves, was recorded in a bathroom on a previous Compassion Blogger trip. Gotta love those acoustics!)
thrilled. can’t wait to read your every word and fall in love with children in Peru.
Thank you, sweet friend. 🙂 You always know what to say! Thank you for taking the time to talk with me the other night, too. So blessed to be your friend! 🙂
I love that you’re choosing to follow Jesus’ call on your life over fear!
Thank you, Megan. 🙂 Your comment brought tears to my eyes and I appreciate it so much!
Your blog is amazing and so is your heart, Layla. I just wanted to encourage you today and tell you how proud I am of you for following God’s call in your life. I know it isn’t always easy but I also know that He will bless you for your desire to draw near to Him and to live your life in accordance to His plans and purposes for you. Thank you as well for being an encouragement to me today (interesting how He does that, isn’t it? Uses so many means to reach ou to His children – awesome!) … I”ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now and hadn’t realized you were a Christian until I read this post … that fact just makes you even more beautiful – inside and out! May God bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine on you in all that you do in His name. Be strong in Him! xx
How wonderful for you both! It will change your life, I’m sure. It will hugely humble you and expand your worldview…which are good things! I say don’t be afraid of the shots. The one person I went to Africa about 5 years ago who didn’t get them was the one who came back sick as a dog!
The Lord has given you this opportunity for His purpose. Enjoy the ride!!
Oh, Layla, this is wonderful news! 🙂 I think you will be blessed for setting your fears aside and heading to Peru to serve. My in-laws have been to Peru several times with a church mission trip, and it is definitely a country in need. You will be a ray of sunshine and hope. 🙂
Hey Layla! It’s been awhile! I hope you and Kevin are doing well. Here’s one line that realy spoke to me yesterday when we had a guest on the show: “Don’t let FEAR replace your FAITH!” If God as opened this door for you to go, he can give you the faith and the drive to overcome. Keep your faith and squash your fear.
With love- Heather Boyd
Lots of prayers will be going with you! Thanks to you and Kelly Stamps, we have had our “daughter” Lizeth, from Ecuador for almost a year. She has the same birthday as our daughter and we are so blessed by Lizeth’s presence in her life. We know they will grow in God…together!
I decided to sponsor after the blogger trip to Kenya just about wrecked my entire world. So just know that your words will have a profound impact on your readers and those lovely little souls you’ll get to meet. What a gift! How exciting! Can’t wait to read along!
Hello, I have been following you for a long time but have never commented. I completely understand your fear of flying and have the same fear myself – it started after a scary experience but has continued through many non-scary flights. It has kept me from some great experiences so I finally decided I was not going to let fear dictate my decisions.
There are a lot of great resources to help you through the flight and each one does get better. I listen to a “fear of flying” podcast during flights and it helps tremendously – I also went through a “Fear of Flying” free online resource that helped as well. I only mention these because I know this fear can take over and take away some of the excitement of the trip. Hey, with some of these resources I made it all the way to Ecuador for a mission trip!!
Enjoy!!
Be sure to keep us posted. I am sure there are MANY of us that would love to help and be a part of your mission in any way we can.
(I wish I could fly for you because that part doesn’t bother me AT ALL).
I am sure you will do some great work.
How wonderful, Layla! The Lord will be faithful to you while serving His people and follow His call! We sponsor two children from Compassion, as well. One of my best friends is currently going through the international adoption process– they are hoping for a little boy from Ethiopia 🙂 It’s an amazing thing to watch, and tells such a story of God’s grace and redemption. Can’t wait to read about your journey!
So proud and excited for y’all! Let me know if ther is anything I can do to help you prepare or while you are gone!
Cathy
Conquering your fears, for the sake of those less fortunate, is an inspiration to us all! I’m looking forward to your inside view of the work in Peru!
NEATO…I just picked myself out a little girl to sponsor!
You will be fine Layla!!! Think of them as baby steps. Baby steps onto the plane. Baby steps (and calming breaths) during the flight. Baby steps off the plane and to your amazing destination and purposeful calling and then start baby stepping your way back home. By then- those baby steps will be easy! 🙂
Have you seen the movie ‘What about Bob’ ? Rent it if you haven’t- it is fantastic!! 🙂 What an amazing opportunity for you!! It sounds incredible to be able to give back through blogging this way!
“I’m Sailing”! I 2nd a viewing of What About Bob. If not to alleviate fears then just to get you smiling!!
Yes!!! I’m SAILING!!!! 😀 I laugh hysterically the entire movie! I think it’s because I can sooo relate to Bob and to baby-stepping 🙂 I am a big time baby stepper myself- I have even blogged about it and how great it feels to take those baby steps! You will have the best time Layla and you will be so glad that you went!!
THRILLED you and Kevin are coming with us to Peru. Your sarcasm? My sarcasm? Good times. Looking forward to getting to know you both much better.
Now, take that enormous picture of my head down.
; )
What an awesome adventure to be a part of. You will most definitely come back a changed woman. Making the decision to go despite being afraid is very noble! May God’s peace be in your heart on this journey!
Isaiah 41:8-10
8 But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
the offspring of Abraham, my friend;
9 you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, “You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you offâ€;
10 fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
John 14:25-27
25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Layla,
Thank you so much for being REAL in this post, this is why I love reading your blog. Your #1 and #2 truths are pretty much mine as well and we did talk a bit at Haven about fears, I’m the girl who wouldn’t take the elevator. 😉 Anyways, can’t wait to see what God does through this! Thank you for being such an encouragement!!!!!!!!!
I’ve said it about 14 times now but I’m SO EXCITED for you guys. I can’t wait to see pictures and read your words and yeah…so excited!
Awesome Layla (and Kevin)!! I’m so proud of you for stepping out on faith! I love Compassion’s blogger trips because it raises so much awareness AND helps kids. I’m glad you mentioned your adoption and a future post about that because I’ve been wondering for about a year and a half about that. 🙂
Dear Layla, I enjoy your blog so much! After reading your post about Compassion (which I sponsor a little girl from Bolivia, I think she is my 4th child to sponsor). I just pray that this will sink down in your spirit, that God loves you perfectly, and His love is not dependent on our own merits or performance, it is completely based on what Jesus accomplished on the Cross. It is this Truth that will cast out every fear, every lie, every anxiety, every doubt and every worry. Let this revelation of Jesus and how He made you perfect, grow in your consciousness and begin to receive a greater and greater measure of His complete Shalom (health, provision and total well- being into your life today! God loves you perfectly! And Layla, you are His beloved child!!! Don’t miss out on what God planned for your life because of fear anxiety! His perfect love casts out fear!! God Bless you Layla, and have a miraculous trip to Peru!! Shalom, Sharon
dear Layla, as one who completely understands and relates to both the fears you listed, may I recommend two helpful hints? JJ Heller’s song, “Your Hands” (written at a time in her life when she was suffering from panic and anxiety) and to remind yourself constantly, “God is bigger than my fear.” I love your decorating so much, but it’s posts like these that keep me coming back. You give me hope. Thank you.
Excited to meet you, Layla (and Kevin) and look forward to following along!
God will meet you, no doubt. And He will meet those children through you.
And this song–I played that full blast in my car with tears streaming down my face, while I drove back and forth from home during my mom’s short battle with brain cancer–until I actually moved into the hospice home with her.
Well, I cry through whole album, but I do love this song.
Wanting Him, we want for nothing. Amen.
You will love it. Even the scary parts. Maybe especially the scary parts. I read this amazing quote this week on fear – it said, “‘Most think that following your BLISS leads to your destiny, It actually comes from following your greatest FEAR.” ~ Bobette Buster at Q Epiphany, NYC.
So yea, board that plane and find your destiny through the fear. We’ll all be here cheering you on!
~Lisa-Jo
What a blessing this will be! You are making the right choice, and facing your fears will be worth it. I can’t wait to read about your experience. I’d love to do something like this in the future.
layla, You can do this trip. God will be there going with you and before you. So many people need to hear about Compassion and you are such a great team to spread the word. AWe will all support you both in our prayers. Pam
Layla, I’m so proud of you for doing this! I’ve been through many scary situations and close calls. The thing that kept me going and allowed me to put myself back into these situations again is knowing that no matter what happens, GOD is in control, even when we are not which is a freeing thought and always gives me peace. We never know what will happen to us day-to-day even if we are safe in our cozy house, we just need to walk by faith, not by sight. This scripture has become the motto for my life.
If God is for us, who and what could be against us? I believe He chose you for this trip to Peru for a reason and I can’t wait to hear all about this trip! 🙂
A HUGE kudos to you for doing this, Layla!
Mad, fierce, crazy-wild love for you, El. I’m so proud of you! And I’m with Nester, I can’t wait to fall in love with Peru through your eyes/heart/words.
Layla, for the past two years, my husband and I have gone on a mission trip to Puerto Maldonado, Peru. We have friends that are there permanently and have started a youth outreach…God is doing some amazing stuff through them. I can’t even put in to words what those trips have meant to us. I feel such a connection to those kids, despite the language barrier. To be able to serve alongside my husband has been one of the most rewarding things in my life so far (we grew so much together during those trips). I promise you won’t regret this trip…just remember why you are there. We are already starting to plan our trip next March!
Congratulations on getting the best of your fear! You’ll be a great addition to the group.
So excited for you!! It’s gonna be a great time!
Can’t wait to hear of your adventures!
I am SO excited for you!
Layla, I know you don’t know me, I don’t know you except through your blog which I have been following for a very long time and feel like I do know you but I am so proud of you for going on this trip. I will be praying for you as you go. Love your blog and design tips. Keep meaning to send in photo of my living room so you can do your magic but old minds just can’t remember. Let us know before you go to Peru and after. God bless you.
Teresa
So excited for you! I love reading about other’s experiences on these trips, it definitely makes me feel closer to my Compassion child. I’ll be praying for peace and confidence as you head on this adventure!
That’s so great that you are going despite your fears. God will bless you for trusting and putting all your faith in Him. I too am going on a trip with my church in a few days to Moldova and I too have a horrible fear of flying. I have taken many different trips throughout the years and realized that if I had stayed home and listened to my fear, I would have missed out on so many wonderful things in my life. During take-offs and landings I especially like to keep saying His promises over and over in my head and it seems to keep me relaxed…(except for the sweaty palms!!!) May the love of Christ shine through you to those you are ministering to and enjoy all that He has in store for you. For His Glory.
Thanks to Shaun Groves, this is my first time visiting your blog. Looks like one to explore more as you prepare for your trip to Peru! Can’t wait to read all about your experiences once you are there… 🙂
That’s amazing!!! From now until then, I promise to pray for you, Kevin and all of the bloggers every time I read your blog. More importantly, I promise you that I will pray that God will give you the peace and courage to handle this!
I have sponsored a little girl named Makena from Kenya through Compassion for 7 years. I’ve been blessed by her life and by my contribution to it. I would love the opportunity to meet her one day!
I went to Peru last year and haven’t been the same. It was a wonderful, God-filled, awe-inspiring trip and I hope you experience something “mo better” than that.
Here is one of the posts I wrote from that mission trip: http://www.mypointohtwo.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-1-in-peru-lima-airport.html
Looking forward to reading about your trip to Peru.
P.S. I’m afraid of flying too but it was actually a pleasant flight.
Peru is where I went on my honeymoon. It’s an incredible place. I fell in love with the country, its people and cultures. I hope you’re as moved by Peru as I was!
Well Layla, this is indeed the hand of God at work in this broken world. I follow your blog and saw the title today and kind of skipped over it as I thought that it had to do with some celebrity thing….let me explain – my eldest daughter (29) is an achodroplastic dwarf – there is a long story there but for right now this is enough). Last night she posted on Facebook the plight of a wee boy in Russia – a couple that she met through Little People of America is leading a fundraising mission to get this child out of the most horrific of conditions. I was so angry at God – how, I said to Him, could you possibly say “Suffer the little children come unto me” and then leave them in these situations? I told Him that there was little that I could do but if He had compassion at all and wanted me to have complete faith in Him, He would find someway to help this child. Would I be able to send you the link – if you think that it is as compelling as I do, perhaps you could spread the word about this fundraising and perhaps we could find this wee thing a home and a family to love him? This couple have personally committed to match up to $2000 in donations……I think you have my email address and I would be delighted to send you the information to consider. Thank you so much and just like God has worked this little miracle, he will work to help you with yours too. With love
Layla, thank you so much for posting this. I found myself welling up with tears as I read this, because I deal with those exact same fears (flying and medication), and they have stopped me from doing a lot of things. I have totally been there — the only one on a flight freaking out, panicking, feeling certain that the flight is going to crash or that something horrible is going to happen. It’s the most awful feeling. But I am so inspired by you and the fact that you are so determined, and I am so very happy for you because I know that God will be with you and your hubby on this amazing trip, and He will take the best care of you. Thank you so much for giving us examples truth and passion and a faith — you are amazing!
Layla,
The last one of my friends to visit Peru came home six months later with two babies — a boy & a girl — she couldn’t decide on one so she adopted both! She told me it was a hard place to be. Children live in the street and beg for food. When she fed them, neighbors yelled at her, explaining “now they will never get rid of them.” {As if they were hungry stray animals.} You made the right choice. Fear is the only thing to fear. You are fulfilling God’s purpose. Trust that HE will keep you safe and know you remain in our prayers. I will read every.single.word.
Your Friend,
Deborah
Girl, I FEEL YA on the flying…..I was reading that and remembering the MANY panicked/embarrassing moments I’ve had on airplanes and at airports across the country. : ) My awesome friends made me a list of bible verses that speak to fear and I LITERALLY carry it with me on all flights…reading it over and over. Also (and I’m not a huge fan of medicines either), I’ve found that one Xanax taken 1-2 hours before the flight REALLY helps. Doesn’t put me to sleep, but just helps my heart relax a little, ya know? I think it’s so awesome that you’re going on the trip! God really uses those experiences that are way out of our comfort zones, and I have no doubt He’ll bless you hugely!
I want to just add my two cents to Sherri’s recommendation of Xanax. I flew from September 2002 – last year, having either full blown panic attacks or close to it. every. single. flight. I was worse without my girls flying with me. I am a totally natural girl and was not going to take unnecessary medications just to fly.
Modern medicine is a blessing for us to use when needed. I take 1 Xanax right after we have dropped off our luggage and right before we head into security. It gets me through the flight without have a major freakout. The first time I was horrified that I would be the one to have a crazy reaction to the meds. After that I it became easier to know that I am blessed to have this little miracle in my life that makes flying possible and a lot better for my husband and daughters.
I have a girlfriend that swears by 1/2 Xanax and a sleeping pill from AZ to Europe. Good luck with your adventure, my prayers are with you.
That is awesome, Layla! I will pray you do great on your flight, and that God really uses your trip! It sounds like it will be an adventure!
I am so proud of you that you are putting your fear aside and doing such good for those who have such little. I hope that your heart is at peace during the flight.
Wow….your top two fears match my top two fears. =D Glad to know I’m not alone. Now…if I can just fly to Florida to see family…..
I love your blog and even when I’m taking a break from reading them I never stop reading yours. I believe this is my FAVORITE POST THAT YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN. Good for you, brave girl. I’ll be praying.
Thanks for writing about this great organization. We have sponsored children through “Compassion” for many years…how rewarding. I followed the “Pioneer Woman’s” children and husband’s experience several years ago. What a dream for you to take this trip. Reading what you wrote, made me feel that I need to be less afraid of a surgery I am terrified to have, but one that could make my life so much better and you know what, I am going to have that surgery and what you have written has given ME the courage to ‘go for it’. Thank you so much! I too, have a lot of fears – mostly flying and anything involving a hospital, surgery, injections, drugs….
I loved seeing Wat’s picture! We adopted one of our sons from Vietnam (he turned 14 yesterday!) and children of Asian countries seem to jump off the page or stand out in a crowd. Must be because I love one so much. Thanks for the good stuff you do.
Layla,
This is wonderful, and I know God will lift you and carry you through the scariest parts of this trip. Have faith. I can’t wait to read all of your posts.
Layla, I can’t wait to follow your blog posts about your trip. This is such an important cause and I know you will be helping these children so very much. So happy your facing your fears and following your heart. x