“Love God and be not afraid.”
-Silas Martin, 7 years old
I stumbled onto a book titled, ‘101 Things Every Blogger Should Know’ recently. I didn’t buy it, but just out of curiosity, I browsed around a few of its pages.
Now y’all, the calendar says I’ve been doing this for a living for 8 years this May, but according to that book, I don’t think I’m actually a real blogger! 😀
I’m serious though! For instance:
Tip #2: Your content must *always* blend to your niche.
Uh oh. I’m allergic to niches. I used to use this space strictly for my adventures in decorating, but it gets old just talking about your “stuff” all the time.
Tip #62: Don’t do news about your family unless you are a Kardashian. Don’t make your blog about members of your family because you will eventually bore out any reader you have.
Wait. What? My family is one of my favorite things to write about!
Tip #66: Let Twitterfeed or Hootsuite help. These tools will reduce the stress of blogging by almost 30%.
I’m confused: blogging *is* my stress releaser. Learning new programs is what feels stressful to me. 😛
Tip #74: You must know SEO.
SE-Oh Lord. Not another acronym.
Tip #83: Get ready to fast on a busy day. As a blogger, you must be trained to work for several hours without eating.
Okay. That one sealed the deal. I am definitely NOT a blogger. 😉
Tip #85 really tripped me up, too. It read: Avoid sending readers away from your blog unless it makes $en$e. It literally had the dollar signs in there too. It went on to say “one thing you must know is that anytime you send visitors out of your site, it must make you money”.
Whoops. Who knew?
Oh well. I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to let my blog (or blog “rules”) boss me around, so I’m just going to ignore that tip and use today’s blank canvas to link to a BEAUTIFUL blog post written by my friend Shannan. Click on the banner below to be sent away…
(The Table by Shannan Martin)
I cannot tell you what a huge impact it had on me. And even though it’s not going to “make me money”, being able to share it with you sure feels like a million bucks too. 🙂
Amy
I’ve never left a comment on anyone’s blog post before, but I feel compelled to do so now. I want to let you know that the first reason I visit your blog is to catch up on your adoption updates. (And I’m not an adoptive parent or prospective adoptive parent.) I’m just genuinely rooting for you and your husband (and your son). Your writing portrays your beautiful spirit, and that is what draws me in. I love your decorating projects, too (I’ve copied some of your ideas – thanks!) But I’m glad you don’t follow the “rule” about not writing about family. That’s what keeps this reader coming back! Thank you for sharing your journey. I can’t wait to read more about your parenting adventures after your son comes home.
Angela
Silas has it right on. I wish I had that much wisdom at 7.
I’m glad you’ve broken the blogging rules :). It’s you that keeps me coming back and if you didn’t let your blog get personal once in awhile, it wouldn’t be nearly as good.
Julia
I’m sorry I won’t make you money today – I’m not leaving!! Ha! Love your posts about your family. Aren’t we all virtual families by now? And I love Shannan Martin! The first thing I saw when I opened your blog this morning was ‘Silas’ and I said yep this is going to be good!
S
Hey, girl! Hey! Loved this fun comment so much. We ARE all virtual family!
Lynda Brandly
Haha! I agree with you, Layla! And who gets to make the ‘rules!’ Let’s break them all! (I love your blog!)
love and blessings~
Lynda @ Gates of Crystal
Emily Clark
Wait! I guess I’m not a blogger either… No eating?! I can down a bag of chips while I work with no problem whatsoever. 🙂
Cecilia
Hm, silly rules if you ask me. I’m glad you write about the things you do! If you followed those rules, I probably wouldn’t be following you. 🙂 Keep up the good work!
teresa
Well, Layla, never listen to those kind of suggestions or rules. I have followed your blog for years, and I love every single post and forward many on to my family and friends! We love your decorating AND your family AND all the adoption stories. You are a household name to my daughters and me. Please keep doing what you do. You are a witness to our Jesus and His saving grace, and your love for Him oozes through your blog. Can’t wait for the next update on Sweet P!
Colette
Who makes up these rules anyway? Rules are meant to be broken and you, Layla, break them in the most wonderful ways.
Logan
I’ve never commented before but after today’s post, I feel compelled to. I’ve felt the stirring to start a blog for a while and I’ve been reading some things about how to be successful at blogging. So much of it is focusing on how to make money, and although extra income would be nice, what I really want is an audience that reads my blog because it is a genuine reflection of the things a reader and I both find interesting. I don’t want it to feel mechanical or like a money maker. I couldn’t put my finger on what felt “off” before now, but this is it. Thank you for today’s post. I have 2 little girls but I hope my husband and I adopt one day and I look forward to your adoption posts the most.
Dawn
Layla,
I am not sure about all that blogging advice. I love your blog as it is! Please don’t change any thing! I am not sure how people separate blogging from sharing about family? Faith, family and friends are what makes everything work in the world.
Layla
Thank you, Dawn. And no changin’ for me…like I said, I’m not gonna let my blog boss me- LOL! 😀 You’re so right, faith, family and friends ARE what make everything work in the world, and what a blessing to be able to share all of them with each other!
Andrea
If you love someone set them free (to click through to another blog), and if they come back (I will), then the reader was already yours. Ha! Those were silly rules. 🙂
Layla
What a FUN comment you left for me, Andrea! 😀 Thank you, friend. I appreciate you taking the time to type that out!
Joanne
LOL… Layla, I’m so glad you are NOT a blogger. That is probably why you are one of the few blogs that I still follow. I’m anxiously awaiting for news of your son and to finally meet him. Keep doing as you are… Love your format and your family.
Joanne
Layla
Thank you, Joanne! You just triggered a memory. I once received an email (this is years ago when I first started blogging about adoption) from a gal who was “happy” for us, but begged me not to turn into “one of those mommy bloggers” once our child was home. She assured me that my readers “weren’t interested in that type of content” from me. That they “really only came for decorating advice”. She assured me she was “just telling me what many other people are thinking”.
I think that must have been about the time I decided to not let my blog boss me. 😉
talitha
O please please please blog about your family when your son is home ( SOON!!). It is your family’s story that makes me come back to your blog all the time. I know I’m one of MANY who are waiting for the day your son comes home!!!!
Talitha
Erin Prohaska
I’m so glad you’re allergic to niches. Thank goodness you are! Don’t change a thing, except into sweat pants if you’d like, to accommodate for comfort from being an actual human who eats while they work.
Thanks for what you do and hugs!
Brenda
Do NOT go with the flow. That’s why we love you so?
Denise
Oh, Layla, you made my day with this post. Formulas are good for book subjects, but what matters is heart. There are only a few blogs I continue to read because I feel that so many have sold their souls to marketing campaigns, and I no longer feel that connection. The reason I read blogs is for inspiration and connection, and that is what I get from yours. You inspire me to be a better, more creative person–to take chances. And you feel like a friend. In a weird way, I feel a connection to you, Kevin, and Sweet P. I want to cheer my blogging friends on and rejoice with them when they succeed. And sending people on to bless others is always a great idea. Someone else’s success is not our failure. I have to continue to remind myself that I blog because I enjoy it. When the pressure of checking off a list to become popular or make money creeps in, I always feel great stress. Sure, I’d love to have a bigger audience, but not at the expense of my enjoying what I am doing–and living a life worth living. Don’t change a thing, Layla. And maybe you should write a book about how you did it your way. <3
Jan
You are beautiful, truly beautiful. That’s all, carry on!
Beverly Palmer
Don’t change your style to conform to today’s world. You’re nonblog is one of the few I look at regularly. AND you’re unblogged family is SO ready for your sweet P to come home!!!!!
Layla
NONBLOG! I love it!!! Thank you, Beverly…I always love seeing your (same) name pop up here! 😀
Shannan Martin
I LOVE being a “rebellious” non-blogger with you. AND I LOVE SNACKS! Ha!
So glad the Universe united us all those years ago. Adore you so very much. You always make me smile!
Shauna
Couldn’t agree more! Keep on being YOU!
Emily
Ha! I love it. Blogging is such a weird and diverse thing and the WHYs behind what we do varies. I’m with you, though. Throw a bunch of those rules out and be yourself!
Xo. Emily
Amber
I love this blog. I love how you write about a little of everything. Your sticking to a budget type of decorating speaks to my soul. I’m also rooting for your adoption to go through soon and I look forward to all your posts once your Sweet P in in your home. If this blog was just about decorating then I would have lost interest when I wasn’t looking to decorate my own home. And I enjoy the churchy stuff too. You diversity keeps me coming back to read more. Thanks for being a nonblogger 🙂
Jen H
Layla, I’m so glad you don’t pay attention to any of those! I love your blog, it’s one of my favorite and I love reading about your family most of all.
Marsha Horner
I like making my own creative “rules”…I think you follow the same rule book!!
Mindy
Loves to you, Shannan (and a shout out to Silas) bloggers who don’t let their blogs boss them around. ?
Maryjane in MB Canada
That book is hogwash. Get your money back…or just burn it. It’s toxic.
The only “rules” I worry about are the important 10… the Divine ones.
Anything that promotes self-harm instead of self-care holds zero authority with me. Self-love = exercise, eating healthy, drinking ample water, be kind to one’s self, practicing good mental health, nourishing our spiritual selves, extending kindness to our earth, and being loving and kind to others/pets. Self-love allows us to be our best selves to our partners, children, friends, family, community, the planet. Interesting how the “Divine 10 rules” promote self-love also; avoid lying, refrain from stealing, honour your parents, love thy neighbour…
I’m going to send loving energy to the sad person who wrote those blogging tips. What an icky life they must lead if that’s how they think.
Robert Holden says; Let wants to come, come. Let what wants to go, go. If it is mine, it will stay. If not, something better will replace it.
Your unblog/non-blog/pretend blog is the only blog I follow consistently. I think it’s because it feels like I’m having coffee/tea with my e-friends Kevin & Layla – not so much like following a blog. Sometimes we’ve been learning the same lesson from above and I’m SO grateful to have a co-learner. A couple of times I’ve taken inspiration from your blog when leading worship at church and I’m SO grateful for the idea. My church family knows about you guys and you’re on our prayer lists often for speeding up having Sweet P come home (and patience for the wait). I refer to you two as my e-friends and I hope one day I get to meet you – or better yet, bless your life in some way.
I look forward to your decorating posts. I hope there’s more on the way.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for blogging.
Peace and blessings Layla!
Maryjane
Sherri
I thought I was losing my mind!!! I saw Shannan’s pic from her recent blog on your blog & was totally confused!! Don’t you just love her blog & her IG!?!?! I discovered her on Jeanne Oliver’s Becoming/The Unfolding of You last year. She’s one of those rare people (like you!!!!) that I follow daily! Love you both & the different topics you share on your blogs. I’ve stopped following so many people’s blogs/FB/IG due to the “staleness” of their posts. I love getting to know you for you. Everyone has a story & sharing those stories makes it something I want to tap into daily!!!
Sandra at Thistle Cove Farm
Throw away that ‘rule’ book; it’s harmin’ your blogging. I blog, therefore I am…a blogger. I’m not a good blogger or a steady blogger but I do it unto the Lord and, somehow, someway, He makes it all good.
As to Lil’ Silas…”Every doubt, every fear is a crime against My Love.” ~ God ~
May you experience His bountiful grace, mercy and love. Today.
kristin
I have only made it to the second tip #62 and have to comment. Ahhh, we love to know more about the blogger! I am afraid to ask who wrote the book. And you aren’t a “real” blogger? Ummm, OK……someone’s from crazytown.
Charolette
Like many of the previous comment entries, I must say “Keep up the good work”! If you don’t fit the someone else’s definition of a blogger–I don’t mind in the least. Yours is a breath of fresh air. I love the decor, etc. but you really draw me in with the personal news about your relationship with God and the adoption process of your most precious son. You allow us to see into the struggles, hopes and dreams of that process and you are a testament to the faith needed to allow God’s timing to manifest itself! I love seeing how you prepared your little boys room…but I love even more how you share the way your family has prepared your hearts to receive him. I will continue to watch the unfolding of God’s work in your lives! Thank you for sharing about it!
Linda McDearis
Layla, you just keep doing what you’re doing because it’s great 🙂 and we love to read your blog on whatever topic you choose on any given day that you choose to write about it!
JoAnne
Hi Layla,
It’s the beauty of your blog that I come for – everything from beautiful interiors to beautiful family/people to beautiful and inspiring messages! It’s obvious it is all written with heart and that is what makes your blog beautiful.
JoAnne
xo
cheri
Layla … I LOVE your blog! I’ve been following you from almost the start of your blog journey and your blog is the only one I’ve stuck with all these years. So glad you don’t follow the blogging “rules” You inspire me daily … and I always look forward to your posts!
michele@hellolovely
layla, you’re always a breath of fresh air. but you might not want to take my word for it since i am also not a real blogger. thank goodness i never bothered to check any rule book otherwise i may have surmised ‘what a bunch of phonies!’ besides, everyone knows blogging and eating chocolate go together like wine and cheese! carry on, warrior.
Susan
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this more than you know. That book, and those rules were probably written by a Kardashian since they’re the only family that has the right to share themselves!! ??? I got nothing on anyone, including kardashians I just cracked myself up though. And if anything, I repeat anything restricts me from food intake I’m outta there!! (Reason #101 I can’t stay on a diet for the life of me!!) ? Thanks for sharing Layla!! It’s good to know there’s others out there on the same page, and that page isn’t in that book!
Xo
Marianne in Mo.
I can’t recall all of the blogs I have stopped reading because of the ads as well as the impersonal content. I enjoy blogs that make me feel like a friend, and share with me the ups and downs. There is so much inhumanity out there, that I love the more human aspects of blogs like yours. We laugh with you, cry with you and dream with you, and so enjoy the love in your life you share. Whether I leave with a smile or a tear, or a thought, it carries me thru my day!
Abigail
I just love coming to your blog, even though I don’t comment as much as I should, because even when there are tough moments and times (because we ALL have them!) your genuine spirit is so uplifting! So glad you don’t fit the rules! Especially #83 because SERIOUSLY?! Did they just print that? Do they hear themselves?!
Marie
Whew! Thank God you put that book back on the shelf. If you didn’t talk about your family I’d worry. I keep waiting for the day when we get to see a photo of all three of you in your home. Sweet Pea (sorry that’s a bit familiar but I feel I know him already) is just going to love waking up every day in your house with you making him scrambled eggs and Kevin strumming out a few tunes, cat here dog there, jumpin in the truck to go junkin just livin the life. I’ve no interest in the Kardishians give me the Palmers everytime. God Bless:-)
LuRae
I am a little late to the comment party for this post, but my advice is DON’T! Don’t change, at least not in the ways suggested by the “rules” in the book you referenced. I am afraid if you stopped sharing about your family, I might have to move across the country and sit in a car nearby with binoculars to watch you. Which we all know is totally creepy, not to mention probably illegal! Thank you for sharing your faith, family, decorating, favorites and adventures. And for keeping me from serving jail time! ? Hugs!
Mary Catherine
Layla,
I have been a long time reader of your blog, and I have always loved that you write about your family as well as decorating. Keep doing what you’ve always done because you are really good at it!
Gail D.
Layla, I remember the old days of your blog when you wrote all the time about the projects around your house. I sensed something was missing in your life, tho, and I kept wondering why you and Kevin didn’t start a family. I lost track of you for a while, and when I came back, there was a huge change in your blog. I hope you can feel my joy, and the joy of all of your readers, now that Sweet P. will be joining you two soon for his great Adventure of Life. I’ll be praying for you.
Teresa
You are such a rebel. 🙂 I mean that in the very best of ways. Who makes the blogging rules anyway. And it seems that they change every time the wind changes. I say it’s your blog, so do it your way. I don’t comment much, but your blog is one of my favorites and precisely because you do it your way and you are so welcoming – reading your blog feels like stopping by for a visit. I don’t think you need to change a thing! I get tired of “them” telling the rest of us how to blog. Ok, off soapbox now. 🙂
Lauren
I definitely don’t agree with all those tips! I love how your blog is and how you share with us personal things. It always us to get more involved and personal with you even though we haven’t met you. I guess I m not a blogger either because I love me some food!! 🙂
Keep doing what you do, that’s why I keep coming back! Everything’s works differently for different people and that’s what makes us all unique.
Lauren | Lovely Decor
xx