Soon after I blogged about the Things I’d Tell My 17-Year-Old Self, I wondered what I might tell myself in right now, if I was 57, and looking back 20 years in the other direction.
Then I thought: Hey- my Mom is 20 years in the other direction.
So I asked her if she’d be up for sharing her thoughts on the subject, and about a week before Christmas, she gave me an envelope with a piece of paper inside.
It read…
1) Some of those crazy, heart-stopping fears you have are really just crazy. Red lights on your car dash do not always mean IMMINENT DANGER: CAR ABOUT TO IMPLODE. Dentists are there to help, not hurt. Dogs and horses that run away almost always come back for food. Overflowing toilets only get worse if you run. Wasps are very small and can be smooshed, if necessary, and seaweed is not an underwater monster trying to drown you…it’s just seaweed. (PS- At 57, you will hardly fear anything at all!)
2) You need to take care of your body. Brush and floss – MOISTURIZE – stretch and exercise – MOISTURIZE – drink lots of water – MOISTURIZE – eat unprocessed foods – MOISTURIZE. Vanity aside, at 57, you will have a lot of things left to do on your ‘bucket list’ that will require you to be in relatively good physical condition for several more years.
3) Money for retirement requires planning and diligence. Remind your children of this often. Also, quite a few of your bucket list items will cost some money. If you save a teeny $10/week over the next 20 years, you’ll have over 10,000 ‘bucket list bucks’ when you’re 57!
4) Almost-adult children need help deciding how to make their way into the real (big) world when they leave the nest. Spend lots of time helping them learn their strengths and passions so that they can have a successful, enjoyable career, and take care of themselves in any lifestyle they dream of. When you feel totally unqualified or need answers- search out capable guidance professionals, mentors, ministers, hypnotists- somebody! The old saying about “moms being as happy as their unhappiest child” is very true.
5) Family and close friend relationships need cultivating. Dig: find the real stuff. Aerate: expel the issues. Renew: forgive…it enlarges the future. Keep in touch, even if it means just being there to listen. Everyone needs, and deserves, people to catch them when they fall, and to cheer them on when they’re finding their footing. “Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo
Thank you, Mom! I love that you read my blog, and that I’ll have your words of wisdom saved right here forever! I’ll refer to them often…I promise.
Here’s to being fearless, fit, diligent, encouraging, and close with friends and family.
Sarah J
Some wonderful advice! What a wise woman your mother is!
ArtsyNina
Aww, your mom sounds awesome! Thanks for sharing!
Cha Cha
Great advice. I love that your mom is recorded on your blog telling you this beautiful wisdom, so sentimental and sweet. Like moher like daughter. Wish you and your family the best in this new year.
God Bless,
Cha Cha
Stacie @ hometownperch
I love your Mom’s words of wisdom. I especially love the one about friends. Good, lasting friendships don’t just happen to people. Your Mom is so right. They need to be nutured and cultivated to be sustained. My husband and I have worked hard on that since we moved back “home” 2 1/2 years ago. And It’s been so worthwhile.
Autum
Thank you for sharing this. It brought tears to my eye. I’m a little older than 37 but I can relate to so many. I have young adult children and you don’t often find advice on how to be a parent even after they’ve left the nest. My mom passed away when I was just 19, so I feel like I’m in virgin waters at times. Reading your moms words felt like they could have been written for me.
I don’t know if I’ve ever commented, but I read often and find so much inspiration. I actually linked to your blog in a post I wrote yesterday. Thanks for sharing not only your talent, but also your heart.
Robin
I just came across your blog and I loved this post. What great advice and I hope I’m as wise as your mom some day. Reminds me very much of the type of things my mom would say.
My New Year’s Resolution is to follow your mom’s advice 🙂
Jackie K
Your Mom rocks!! (mine does too 🙂
Marina {YummyMummyKitchen.com}
Great advice! I really needed to hear #1. Thanks to your mom 🙂
Emily @ On the V Side
I love this! Hope your mom doesn’t mind mothering the rest of us, too 🙂
Emily
tinajo
This is just great, put it in a safe place – it will be so nice to read again in the future! 🙂
Lori H
Such great advice! Thanks for sharing. I am 49 and can still take away some tips from this. 🙂
Deborah
Wonderful words of advice. I wish I had read them 17 years ago. :~)
Kim
This is a great list. Thanks, Layla’s Mom! I’m almost 50 and I agree with her. Great thoughts for a younger generation.
the domestic fringe
I love that list! Your mom must be a very wise woman. Since I’m on the verge of 37, I’m definitely taking every single bit of that advice. Thank you!
~FringeGirl
Bernie
I AM 57 too!!! May I add “Wear SUNSCREEN” to the list? And “Dont Blink”…the next 20 years will fly by, even faster than the last 20 years. Find something to enjoy, EVERY SINGLE DAY. You worry more about “adult” children in their 20’s, than teenagers….you’ll just have to trust me on that one. I agree with everything your mom says. Smart woman. ps I wouldnt go back to 37 if you paid me. 57 ROCKS!
Jaimee
What timely advice. At 41, I find the older I get the more a yearn for reflections like this from older women who hold the advantage of wisdom and experience. Your mom is a certainly a treasure; I recognize many qualities in her from my own mom. Blessings on your New Year, Jaimee
wendy
Well I guess we now know who inspires your beautiful words.
jennifer rizzo
I think that’s a great idea! Your mom is brilliant! I am looking at 40 this year, and wish my 60 year old self could give me some sound advice!
Jen @ a place 2 call home
Wow! This is kind of amazing.. My mom always says stop being so hard on yourself, in 5 and 10 years you are going to look back at pictures and remember how that day your hair looked ugly and you felt fat and now you’d kill to look like that!
kim
great post!!! love your momma’s wise words.
kate
You have a wise and cool mom!
SheilaG
Beautiful wise words. You are so blessed to still have your mom, and she is so blessed to have a daughter who realizes how blessed she is! 🙂
Alison
Tell your mother THANK YOU for sharing her words of wisdom! Your letter to your 17 year old self was one of my favorites.
Leigh
What great advice at any age. Thanks for sharing your mom’s list with your readers.
angela
smart mom…and a smart daughter because you listen!
Rhonda I
So well said, Mom’s are awesome, I enjoyed it.. and will pass it along. 🙂
Tracey
Such lovely and useful advice…this 40 year old self will take it all. I love the wisdom of women farther along in this life journey. Thanks for sharing your mom with us!
Vicki V
I’m closer to your mom’s age than yours, and I think she has some very sage advice. I especially like the last bit about treasuring relationships, not possessions. That is actually tops on my list of resolutions this year: to nurture relationships.
Frances
Great advice! My resolution this year was to save MORE. Looks like I’ll be investing in a good moisturizer too! 🙂 Thanks TLC mom!
kristin jo
I love this. What a wise woman. Thanks ladies for sharing.
Erin
A great post!! Thanks to your mom for taking the time to share with us!
Ann
Hi Layla,
I’m sort of new to your blog and this is my first time commenting. Your mom seems like a wise woman. Treasure every single minute you get with her. My mom was diagnosed with dementia 3 years ago. She has slowly slipped away until she’s almost gone. I don’t have any regrets though because we were very close and spent a lot of time together. Thank God for that. You sound like you love your mom very much. Just don’t forget to tell her that. Happy New Year…
Elisabeth
Can I just say that your mother is “da bomb”! You are one very blessed daughter!
Dixie Redmond
How beautiful. I guess I need to pretend I’m 70 and and what would I tell my almost 50 year old self….
Thanks for sharing.
Dixie
Donna
You come from good stock!
kat @ pretty in pink and green
Love this! So many words of wisdom and I am 37 as well!
hello haha narf
terrific points to ponder! my mom passed in 2006 and i wish i would have asked her questions like this. thanks so much for sharing this. it means more than you can imagine.
happy new year.
🙂
Danica Evans
My favorite post of yours ever! 🙂
giggles
At 55 I can tell you have a very very sage mother! Everything she said is so very true! She picked the gooduns too!! lol
Happy New year to the both of you!
Hugs Giggles
Kim @ Sand & Sisal
Now I see where you get your writing talent from! What a wonderful woman to deliver such wisdom!
Jane
Your mom is brilliant. Moisturize!!! I am 51 and feel I have seen some of my bucket list and learned from the wild ways of my youth, which believe it or not, seems not so long ago!! You will always feel younger in your heart and mind, so take care of your body to match it!
I have SO enjoyed following your blog this year. Best wishes to you and Kevin in all you do!!
XO,
Jane
Pine Tree Home
What a great idea to have mom share her insight. We should go to our parents more often and truly seek out what they know and listen to what they say…even when we think we know more (at 15, 18, 37 or 57.)
Shannon Hoose
Very good advice!! Thanks!
Eileen@cottage beach house
Your mom is a very wise woman. So eloquantly written. I agree with her on the savings and the moisturizing! A little bit adds up over time. Thanks Layla for sharing this special note,
Eileen
Louise
What lovely advice, and what a wonderful relationship you obviously have with your mom. Thanks so much for sharing!
Fairfield House
Layla,
I love Jude and her wise words; especially #5. This is proof positive that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Happy New Year, my friend.
Deborah
Erin{LavenderandLemonDrops}
That is one awesome Mother! Really though…. I love every single bit of advice and encouragement that she gave 🙂 You are a lucky woman to have her! P,S Great idea to ask her to write this… its so fun to hear these types of things from your parents and elders!
amanda
such a great post! i love hearing from wiser women about what they wished they’d known. thanks to you and your mom for sharing!!
Beth Anderson
Wonderful sentiment, thank you for sharing. I posted this on my facebook page for my friends. Well done.
katrn
That’s fantastic! I’m going to ask my mom to do the same thing. What a wonderful idea! Thank you to you and your mom for sharing such priceless insights.