Searching For Purpose

Thanks to all the folks that weighed in on yesterday’s blog post. We’ve decided what we’re going to with that little corner in the sunroom and I can’t wait to surprise you with pictures of it when we’re done!

And speaking of work spaces in the works- Kev’s office is already coming together, little by little, too. We like to mix things up from day to day though, so we’ve been taking turns working on different floors. Sometimes I blog upstairs, and sometimes he plays guitar downstairs.

He plays his acoustic guitar 99.9% of the time, but his friend Josh brought over a little Super Champ amp the other night, and he’s been having a (low volume) blast playing his electric guitar through it for the past couple of days.

It wasn’t that long ago that my mister’s music career went from full-time, to no-time- but I’m sure it feels like forever ago to him, and I know he’s felt an incredible void in his life since he stopped writing, recording, and playing for a living.

The other day he told me that he “feels music in his soul every day of his life“, and I know that’s true because, even though he may not know it, I notice how he gravitates to his guitar, every single chance he gets.

I hear him strumming it and singing at the top of his lungs, every day…most times in the bathroom, where the acoustics are the best in the house.

He’s been doing a lot of praying about auditioning for the worship band at our church over that past several months. He can play and sing in front of thousands of people if he’s asked to, but he’s still very insecure when it comes to believing that that folks might be interested in hearing what he’s saying & playing, if ya know what I mean.

When he first brought up the idea of auditioning for the church band to me, I told him I’d support his decision either way…and I meant it. Of course I’d love for him to be more involved in music again, especially if he’s feeling a Calling- but obviously you can’t push that kind of thing, and I knew he’d eventually figure it out.

And he eventually did.

He’s auditioning next Wednesday, and although I know he’s feeling really nervous about putting himself out there again- I also know that the music he feels in his soul every day is a Gift…and Gifts were meant to be shared.

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  1. Karie says

    Good Luck Kevin! Everything is going to be alright! You have a wonderful supporter in your wife Layla….Go for it!

  2. says

    He’s got the talent and he should share it. You never know, a little kid out in the audience might say “I want to play guitar like Kevin!” or a guy that used to play in high school decides to dust off his 12 string and is able to de-stress after work and be happy. He could easily change the path of someone’s life for the better!

  3. says

    My mister is a musician too, Layla, and he recently said the same thing about wanting to play in the worship band again…I think for him, it’s the best way to engage in personal worship so even though it’s a commitment, I’d support it 100%. I guess I feel the same way with writing…it’s in my bones. :) Loving your new house!! It’s gorgeous…can’t wait to see what you do with it!

  4. Dorothy says

    Oh, Layla, how wonderful! Praising the Lord in song and using that Gift is truly a Gift from the Lord. He will never be content if that Gift is there to be used by the Lord and is hidden under a bushel. Many blessings to you both. Keep singing and praising.

  5. Melissa says

    You guys are always such an inspiration in so many ways! I like to read about dream chasers! Tell the hubby good luck and rock on!

  6. lisa sraders says

    Oh, Layla, as a believer in Christ, I want to encourage him that since he has been given those gifts by God, God is pleased to see your Kev use them for His glory! He does not need to worry – just lay down the fears – as a singer on a worship team for years, it is a beautiful humbling and transparent experience – we have the privilege lead others into the Spirit to worship! The good news for Kev is that it is not about him, but Jesus! That is how we can relax and worship Him thru our instruments! Tell him to FOR SURE go for it!

  7. Vanessa says

    I miss seeing those boys in Trustcompany play. Love being able to follow you guys and the great things you do with this blog.

  8. says

    Good luck to Kevin with his audition! I’m sure he’ll knock their socks off.

    My husband is a guitarist – he’s never played in front of 1000s of people, but he has a band that practices every Monday afternoon in our home theater (better temperature control than the garage!) My husband is the kind of person who gets his pleasure from the process, rather than the end results – for example, he’s an excellent golfer, but would rather work on his golf skills on the driving range or putting green than actually playing a round of golf. His guitar playing is much like that.

  9. says

    I’m married to a guitar loving DH who was set adrift in August so I can feel for you and Kevin – music leaves a hole like nothing else. Have faith – whatever happens it will be OK.

  10. Lesley says

    What a sweet and inspiring message. Sometimes we need reminding that the thing we feel in our soul every day IS a gift and we should keep embracing it. Thanks for the reminder. :) And best wishes to Kevin.

  11. Karen says

    I and members of my family serve regularly on our church Worship Team. What a wonderful place to use musical gifts…for the benefit of the body and for the Lord’s glory! Sounds like his heart is right, which is one of the most important factors in leading worship. :)

  12. says

    I’m sure it is not easy to share when you are putting yourself out there. Thank you for doing that – I know it will inspire someone else to go for it, too. Praying Kevin realizes God’s plan for his gifts … Loving your new house and new projects! I can’t wait to see it come together. I didn’t comment on the desk post, but I immediately thought that you should look for a corbel (or something else that speaks to you) and add more architectural detail and yourself to your new home. Looking forward to seeing your ideas!

  13. Leah says

    No matter what you are doing with your life, the music in you will never go away.: ) You share that gift in everything you do, whether you know it or not!

  14. says

    What a blessing to have a gift like that to give back to the Lord! I hope the audition goes well. I’m sure it must be such a joy to get to hear music all the time at home.
    My cousin used to play the piano beautifully and I loved going over to his house, opening the door, and hear beautiful music come pouring out.

  15. Centsational Girl says

    Yes, gifts are absolutely meant to be shared, Courage brings success, go for it Kevin!!! xo Kate

  16. says

    Good luck at the audition Kevin. You’ll do great!

    My hubby has played piano since high school, and though we still own a piano, playing has drifted farther and farther into the back ground of every day life. I know he misses it. He’s always humming or singing while walking around the house, and now he’s started to write lyrics as a form of expression. When he does wander to the piano, it makes my heart smile to hear him play. I know he misses the days when he could just sit and play and not worry about all of the other things that need to be done. Sometimes life gets in the way, but we have to make time for those things we truly want to do. Those are the things that lift our spirits and make the other stuff bearable/doable.

    Again, good luck. :)

  17. says

    I think it’s AWESOME that Kevin is open to sharing his gift with your church – Music is my favorite part of church, it lifts me up, gets me motivated, and helps me prepare to absorb the Message. Good Luck on the audition!

    You two both have very special gifts – thanks for sharing them with all of us. :)

  18. Donna Doble-Brown says

    YEA! good for you Kev . . . taking the first step is the hardest . . . . YOU are going to be terrific either way . . . . things will happen how they are suppose to . . . . if you don’t make it it’s because the universe has something better around the corner just for YOU! go get um! I’ll be cheering for you here in Rhode Island! xo

  19. says

    That’s great, Kevin! God gave you your music talent, and He intends for you to use it. Praying for you and your upcoming tryout.
    Layla, you are such a sweet and supportive wife. God bless you both!

  20. says

    It’s just so true what you say about gifts, but sometimes so hard to recognize and push ourselves out there where we can share what we have!!! I wish all the best to Kevin and the most important thing is to enjoy every single moment of his audition and have fun!

  21. says

    Hallelujah!!! What a sweet wife Layla. Sing it and play for the Lord Kevin! Being on the worship team at my church has strengthened my relationship with Christ in so many ways, as well as injected so much joy into my soul. Praying for you right now…Please Lord, make your peace evident in Kevin’s life today and stir his heart with a passion for you as he auditions. Be with him and give him courage and boldness in sharing his gift with the worship team. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  22. Naomi W. says

    Sharing your gifts takes us out of ourselves and into serving others in the body of Christ. Go for it!

  23. Gina says

    As I was reading I was thinking Kevin should use his God given talent in church to glorify the Giver and then read on and was so pleased!!!! =D I have found when I am using my God given talents I feel deeply satisfied. Praying for Kevin!! And you…such a supportive wife. ;)

  24. says

    Layla! I read this post to Jonathan! He is so much like Kevin. Music is in his soul. He got his acoustic guitar in July, and he has already self-taught himself so much.
    I would love for him and Kevin to play together soon! Jonathan could learn so much from him.
    I’ll be praying for him and his audition. :)
    Love y’all!

  25. Christie says

    Wishing you the best on your audition! Even if you don’t make the church band, don’t let that stop you from sharing your gift.

  26. Marilyn Lightle says

    My husband is one of those (forever young) drummers. It is a blessing to have him playing at our church. and the young people/kids really enjoy him. Good luck Kev, God will honor your faithfulness regardless of the outcome.

  27. Amy says

    Hi guys…just wanted to say that I am loving your blog, hearing about your passions and seeing God move in your lives! I don’t follow many blogs but you keep me coming back again and again. Thank you for being real! And I think Kevin is a very talented guy that God is using in more ways than one..I got his photoshop elements tutorial and photography and it’s helped big time! If you guys were closer, I’d love hanging out, bc you are the kind of people that I respect and you inspire me….thank you!!!!

  28. Patti Zipper says

    I’m so glad Kevin decided to try out! Your church sounds like a wonderful place for a comeback!

  29. Kim says

    Kevin- go for it! May He get all the glory with the gift He’s given you to share with others. God Bless and Good Luck.
    Layla, give lose of us who are readers of your blog a sweet surprise video:-)

  30. Terri says

    The “Gift” is crying out …. release me…. God will surely use Kevin and his talents in amazing ways!!! and I must admit …. I started smiling when I saw the “Corbel” photo…. so YOU… LOL…. I think I may have even said it out loud!!!!!!! That’s a great idea for entry “Look”!!! So love the new house and that neighborhood is just beautiful!!!!!! Blessings… Terri

  31. Jackie says

    Looks like my house…with someone playing guitar (actually 2) and a daughter at the baby grand!! Isn’t it fun to have music circulating in the air around the house?

  32. says

    Dear guy. I remember when my husband auditioned for our church worship team, and he and I were both so nervous. Jack was still a tiny newborn and I sat up on the couch just waiting for him to come home. It was a weird feeling, because I wanted it for him, and he wanted it for him, but neither of us knew if God wanted it for him or not. Turns out he did. And through that we met so many amazing christian couple friends, which we just did not have. Hi participation in worship blessed us in so many ways.

    Whatever decision he comes too, I know it will be good for you both.

  33. Ter'e Crow Lindsay says

    I love you both!!!!! Can’t wait to hear how things turn out for Kevin. I’ll be cheering and praying for him. You kids sure are being led on a path right now. Praise God and your angels every day! (Angels love to be praised).
    Can’t wait to see what you do in your house. Anxious to see that first room played out!!!!!!! I know it will just be spectacular.
    You know, I keep Jeremiah 29: 11-13 asttached to my computer monitor and I read it every time I sit down to type. It has surely been a blessing, time and time again, to David and to me.
    P.S. GOOD LUCK KEV! And, Layla, you are a little jewel.

  34. Sharon says

    I can’t comment on singing/playing in church as it’s something I know nothing about, but what I do know, is that you have to spend time doing what you love. It’s important for all of us to do what we are passionate about, what fills our happiness account. He is obviously very talented and the world is missing out if he’s not sharing it. Go Kevin!!

  35. pbhappy says

    That’s awesome! My husband is a worship pastor and loves when someone with a humble heart auditions for his team! Good for him for stepping out and using his gifts for the Lord! Tell him not to be nervous! He’ll do great!

  36. Lynnette says

    This is so touching. I’m inspired by his courage. I think creative people are sometimes the hardest on themselves.

  37. Belinda says

    I’m not usually a commenter – usually just enjoy reading, but I wanted to comment and encourage Kevin. He will have lots of prayers and God will lead him in the direction he should go.

    Bless you both!

  38. says

    Well, this is just about the sweetest post ever. It’s great of you to support Kevin in this new endeaver, and even greater that you were quiet while he came to the conclusion on his own. *wife-of-the-year kind of stuff Girl!

  39. Paige says

    My full-time job is to be a worship leader at my church, so, I audition potential musicians weekly. I heard Kevin on youtube and I promise you, he will make the cut (by a long shot). But more importantly, 2 Corinthians 4-5 says, “Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God…” Our adequacy and competency comes from Christ. Our responsibility is to walk in obedience. I’m praying that the Lord gives us all (including Kevin!) courage to walk in obedience to His will. :)

  40. Nicola Blake says

    Tears Flow( this is a phrase from my son’s book Sam’s Car). I cried after reading your post. I love, love, love this post. My husband is also an artist. He is got his degree from FIT( Fashion Institute of Technology) in NYC in Fashion Design. He has not worked in the fashion industry full time since graduatiing. He has only worked free lance jobs. I am saying all this to say that, God will send Kev to exactkly where he needs to be. My husband loves fashion and he is SOOOOO GOOOOD!!!!!! I am sure Kev loves music and he seems to be great. He has been working a job not in the fashion industry and I love to see the sparkle in his eyes during fashion week in NYC. He looks like a kid in a candy store at these shows, esp when he is working at ong, Ok enough about me, If its is ordained, then Kev will sing, People always want to know about the love and the goodness of god, like you said its a gift and I am sure its bigger than him and it will be shared.

  41. Penny says

    So glad to hear Kevin is auditioning. We just moved from Northern California to Vermont, our old church in California had a wonder worship leader who was with Kenny Loggins and now is committed to doing the Lords work and sings and plays the most wonderful music in church. We really miss him. I know Kevin will love singing and playing again. Good luck to him next week.

    Love your new home. Our new home in Vermont is a log home in the woods – quite a bit different from a neighborhood in California. I love Log homes but in a way I find it difficult to decorate as the logs are so warm and beautiful by themselves – that the decorating is not as important.

  42. says

    Good luck to Kevin, no matter which direction he chooses. I totally get the hesitation. Every dance routine I create for my students, every new item I create for my Etsy shop – even though I have many people satisfied with my work – I still ALWAYS have a nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me I’m a fraud – or that I’m not good enough.

    The trick is to be willing to shut that nagging voice out – and embrace the possibility of failure. If we fail, it is okay!!!! There are always new opportunities – sometimes God is just waiting to bless us with a better one. :) Being afraid of failure holds us back. Only when we embrace all the possibilities are we able to let our creative genius loose – and then oh, the places we’ll go, as Dr. Seuss says. ;)

  43. says

    This was kind of funny to me. Evidently you go to a much larger church than me. We beg people to play and sing for worship!
    I hope Kevin gets his heart’s desire and learns to feel comfortable sharing God through the gift God gave him.

  44. Danyel says

    My hubby plays in the bathroom too! I think it’s so weird but I guess he’s not alone. He’s also debating about the the worship band thing-he’s shy so it’s been many months of thinking/praying for the strength to do it!

  45. says

    Whether is it music, art, writing etc., it can feel very personal to share your gift but the blessings you bring others and the blessings you receive in return are so worth it! God often speaks to my heart during worship so I am so greatful for those musical hearts that “take us in”.

  46. Dawn says

    Good luck to you guys! Kevin, I know you’ll do just fine Layla at your side…or in the audience. Layla, I can’t wait to see what you do in the sunroom! I love being a part of your adventures!

  47. says

    Love this Layla ~ the music he feels in his soul every day is a Gift…and Gifts were meant to be shared. I cannot imagine my life without music ~ good luck Kevin on the audition!

  48. Theresa says

    Lots of prayes coming your way!! Kevin you will do awsome and you will bless so many with you talents!! The Lord has given you such a wonderful gift you should share it.

  49. Beckie says

    How exciting that Kevin is auditioning for your church band. Christian Music had a big part in my becoming a Christian. I love my church band and praise team! God bless you Kevin.

  50. says

    Kevin is wise to follow his heart and his dreams. I have a feeling everything will work out just as it’s supposed to…with Kevin sharing his gift and love of music once again with the world.

  51. Becky in SC says

    I’ve always felt that if you have a talent, you should use it for God’s glory. I say go for it! God will do the rest!!

  52. Lisa W. says

    WOW…I too believe it is a gift!!! Wishing him the best! I am feeling the “good” vibes…rock on Kev!

  53. Tracey Hewison says

    Go for it, Kevin, you’ll never regret it!! Who could ever regret facing their fears, no matter the outcome? :-)

  54. says

    As someone who has led worship and supported worship leaders, whether through vocals, keyboard, or prayer, there is something amazingly unique about being part of a worship team. And God brings people and takes people away in His all-knowing ways and timing.

    It’s kind of funny, I actually told my husband last week (yes, can’t believe I’m admitting this) BUT, I said, if I could do ANYthing with these guys (meaning you two), I’d just want to play worship songs together. Seriously!

    After transitioning from churches (my first time ever), I am super excited to be on the team this coming Sunday for the first time at our new church home. It’s been one year and I have missed that team aspect SO much…often you become like family. Praying for that peace and confidence in God’s will for Kev. :-)

  55. Maria says

    Stand alone desk for sure! Its your house, so your functions are what matters, most. I’m sure no guest passing on the way to bathroom would think less of you. Ive read your blog from the beginning, loved tlc, and can’t wait to watch your implementation in your new beautiful home1

  56. Genny says

    Best of luck Kevin! Keeping you in our prayers! Your gift was a blessing from God and you should share it with others!

  57. says

    I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone! The words of encouragement mean more than you will ever know. I’m feeling incredibly blessed right now. :)

  58. Daniela says

    Leila, I attend my church in Bs.As. for the worship service every Tuesday, and let me tell you that it would never be the same,if there were not these girls with their guitarrs and beautiful voices, who help us raise up … Tell Kevin that I AM SURE that if God gave him this talent, he wants him to share it … Evenmore, were the people not “egar” to listen, I know GOD will! Blessings, from Argentina

  59. says

    What better way to use your gifts than to use it to praise and worship the one who gave it to you? Kevin is part of the body of Christ and without his gift being used to further the kingdom..the rest of the body is missing part of what makes it whole. Prayers that God’s will would be evident in Kevin’s audition. ( Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good; celebrate his lovely name with music. Psalms 135:3)

  60. Claire says

    The headlights on your car don’t shine all the way home, only as far as you need to see to drive. Pray, take a step and see where God leads.

  61. Amy says

    I’m usually not a commenter on blogs… just a quiet stalker… haha, but after reading this post about your husband, Kevin, I just had to comment. The whole time I was reading this I was thinking about my 21 year old son, Trevor. He also “feels music in his soul every day of his life”, also a guitar player, also plays in the bathroom for the “great acoustic qualities”… I know the similarities are pretty unreal. After attending college in Nashville for 2 years he is trying to find where he fits into the “music arena” …I know that God is in it all and would not give him the skills that he has ( and Kevin has ) for no reason… He has a purpose and a plan! Blessings to the Both of you!!

  62. Geri says

    My favorite song that I use to sing to my grand daughter Kate seems very appropriate for you, Kevin.
    “This little light of mine…I’m gonna let it shine.
    This little light of mine….I ‘m gonna let it shine.
    This little light of mine….I’m gonna let it shine.
    Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.
    They will loe you. Geri.

  63. cheri says

    I’m another infrequent poster but I just had to wish Kevin the best.

    “Talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God”. Play for Him and everything will fall into place.

  64. Sherri B. says

    I’ll say a prayer for your Mister. ;) I am sure he’ll do great! The band will be blessed to have him! No doubt, he’s an answer to THEIR prayers!

  65. Robbie says

    I’ve never commented here before, but I just have to say this. God did not create Kevin with the ability to “hear music in his soul every day” for no reason. As someone who has no musical ability whatsoever, I could not imagine a world without gifted folks like Kevin sharing their talents with us “non-musicians”.

  66. says

    Layla, you are right, the gifts we are given are meant to be shared – whether we are ready or not, God’s timing is accurate! God hasn’t given us our talent to be boxed up and put on a shelf. I’m looking forward to hearing how the audition goes!

  67. Deidra says

    I know that feeling. I was working as a Literacy Tutor and Pre-K Teacher five years ago, and then I had my second child (and later, a third) and thought I should stay home. When I thought I was ready to get back to work, I applied at several schools. Had a few interviews, but nothing ever panned out. I had to take other jobs out of my field, which I enjoyed, but it wasn’t exactly the same. I started wondering if teaching was really my purpose or where I was suppose to be. Would I be able to confidently get back into classroom after being out for two, three, and then four years?? So this spring and summer, I tried again applying at area schools. God knew when I would be ready and when the time would be right. Thinking another summer had come and gone without a new job, I was hired in August, literally, at the last minute, four days before “Meet the Teacher Night”. It was whirlwind getting the classroom ready, but I have never felt more at home than any other school I have been in. My colleagues are wonderful and have built me up so much that I wonder why I ever lacked confidence! It has been a blessing. Timing was perfect.

    Let your heart guide you…that’s where we keep God with us…so as they always say: “Follow your heart.”

  68. says

    Every time I hear the song “Day That I Die” by Zac Brown Band, it makes me think of this post and those priceless pics of Kevin with “his guitar in his hand.”

  69. Deborah says

    I think music is a gift from God. I believe Kevin should share his gift however he feels moved. It’s all good.

  70. Heather says

    I love your blog so much. Not only is there so much creativity between the decorating, do it yourself, and photography, but there is soooo much heart. It just makes me fall in love with you guys! I sing and write songs, and I understand about music being a part of your soul, and feeling that it has just got to come out. There is no better way than as worship to the Lord! I also understand the fear that anyone else will be interested in what you have to say. Really, though, there is too much of the fake and shallow, out there. People will always be touched and want to hear what comes straight from someone’s heart; in fact, we crave that kind of realness…Go, Kevin!

  71. says

    I’ve always felt like we had similar lives, Layla. My husband went through the same thing..professional musician for 15 yrs of his life, me home alone for most of our early years of marriage. Then the record label folded, and we had small kids, so he opted to not pursue it any longer. (You can only ride around on a bus/van for so long!). Anyway, after a period of depression and reflection, he realized one of the main reasons he loved music so much, was being able to touch people’s lives with a positive message. So he went back to school, and now is a licensed professional counselor. He changes and impacts lives everyday, using his empathy and experience…and some music therapy! :) I’m not sure why I felt compelled to tell you all this, but I think so you’d know things will eventually level out, he’ll find his place on the other side of all this, and your marriage will be the better for having him around more! :) xo

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