Guest Post by the Flowerpatch Farmgirl

I thought I’d start our adoption category with a guest post written by one of my most favorite friends in the whole wide world. Her name is Shannan, although she responds to many of the nicknames I’ve given her over the past several months, too. Some of which include- “Ess”, “Ester”, and “Estevez”. I’m also hoping to work in “Escargot” and “Escalator”.

Don’t worry, Ess has dubbed me “El”, “El Camino”, and “Auntie El”, so I’m sure she’ll be down with the new nicknames once she hears them.

(Auntie El, as “Auntie Em”)

She and her husband, Cory, have three little kiddos (Calvin from South Korea, Ruby from the U.S., and Silas from South Korea). She writes a blog called Flowerpatch Farmgirl, and her Big Adoption Series conjures up inspired tears on a regular basis. Her guest post today is about her most recent adoption, and I must warn you, it’s a tried and true tear-jerker, too. But it’s something that Kevin and I appreciate her sharing with us as we begin the journey to our special little guy or gal this year.

Without further ado, I give you, Ess….

****************************************************************


Two nights back, my littlest guy, a 2-year old, crawled across the floor to me and I teared up. He’s a walker, of course. A mad-dasher, really. He races around our house like his britches are ablaze. He never, ever stops. Not ever. Not once.

I was folding laundry in my usual spot during that nail-biting hour before Daddy, everyone’s Hero, arrives home from work. By 4 o’clock, we’re all a little tired of each other, especially when it’s ten below outside. We need a change of scenery, a new face. We’re hungry. Some of us might even be a little crabby, though I’m not naming names. He was lured over to the small towel mountain beside me, so soft and jump-able. Before long, his sillies were ramped up to high gear and he raced around the room, flinging towels and giggling. He dropped to his knees and scrambled over to my lap. It hit me then: I had never seen my baby crawl.

And that’s not even the half of it.

We picked him up 10 months ago in South Korea.

The first time I ever saw him, live and in the flesh, he was 18 months old, racing around a tiny apartment with no furniture but a plethora of houseplants and a flat-screen TV.
There’s a gaping hole there, an absence of things I’ll never know for sure, things this Mommy missed, and I’m sad for it. But what I’m finding to be even sadder is that what I missed out on is an anthill at the feet of what he has missed, what he has lost. This isn’t really about me, you know.

This is his story, and the book never does close.

My heart has been scraped raw in trying to piece together why his story had to begin with loss so large, followed by loss so piercingly sharp, so jagged and traumatic. I imagine what it must be like for a toddler, to be taken by strangers from the only home, the only family, you’ve ever known. I remember that day when I least expect it and when I would really rather not. The wound opens up again, just at the corner. It was one of the best days of my life, wrapped up in one of the worst. We took him from the arms of the people he trusted most in the world and we carried him away and he cried the saddest tears. They just kept falling, until he passed out in my arms, totally spent.

The good news is, my husband and I had known to expect this.
The bad news is, we did not expect that the whole routine would repeat itself starting at the very moment he woke the next morning, and continue on through the day, through a trip across the ocean, and the day that followed. And the day after that.

He spent his first days as a part of our family enraged and desperate, heartsick and lost. He brought his little shoes to me, crying, ready for me to lace them up and send him home. He rattled every doorknob in the house, searching for the family he lost.

For that first string of nights Silas and I both cried ourselves to sleep.

What caught me by surprise even then was the fact that I did already love my sad little boy. We had miles to go with bonding, but living in the same room with him and his Grief pushed me further along than I thought I would be. My heart cracked open for him, and then it cracked smaller and smaller until one night, it shattered.

In that moment, I was so broken for him that I wished we could hop on a plane and take him home. I wanted to stop the bleeding for him and it seemed, at that moment, like that was the only bandage that would cover his wound. Of course I was wrong, and I think I knew it even then. The truth is, he had no family back in Korea. He had no home.

He couldn’t understand it then, but I have faith that he will.

The very next morning light swept in and rescued every last one of us. That’s what He means when He says He will not give us more than we can handle. I’m here to tell you – you can trust those words. The days that followed right up to today have been a long haul, riddled with bumps and painted new with the colors of sunrise. To be honest, I imagined that we would be further along than we are in some regards, 10 months in. I have two reference points, two previous adoptions that were both so different and every bit as lovely. But his progress, our progress as a family, is worthy of a gold star, I believe. Our trust was hard-won.

Today at church, we dropped him off at the nursery. When we picked him up, he was still wearing his winter coat, snapped to the chin, and his sock hat, just as he has done for the past four Sundays. He’s happy as long as he remains suited up. We walked through the Dutch door and he ran to us, arms stretched as wide as his smile. He rested his sweaty head on my shoulder. He had been waiting for us. He knew we were coming for him and he wanted to be ready. He wanted everyone to know that he could play for a while, but that he was not staying. We hopped into our van and he yanked that hat right off. He was heading home.

****************************************************************


Thank you so much, Layla, for giving me the opportunity to share some of the harder parts of this beautiful gift – adoption. I am so excited for you and Kevin as you begin to walk a similar road and I love your heart that longs to walk with your eyes wide open. I cannot wait to see your child, hand-picked by God just for
you, at home in your arms.

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Comments

  1. says

    Thanks for sharing your heart. Adoption is such an amazing part of my store, by both being adopted and then having the privilege of bringing my special needs nephew home from Ecuador where it came full circle. Your children are blessed as will Layla and Kevin’s. :)

  2. says

    My old youth pastor and his wife just adopted a precious little boy named Abram from Ethiopia- they finally got to bring him home in October. I passed your blog address on to her, I’m sure that she’ll love to read all about your story as well.

  3. says

    Wow, you’re right there was no chafe my eyes would be dry after that story. Three of my in-laws were adopted, and it is hard not to place them into that story. Thanks for sharing her story with us!

  4. says

    beautiful! excited for this new part of your blog…. we hope to begin our own ethiopia adoption journey towards the end of 2011, so I’m excited to read about yours. thanks for sharing!

  5. says

    Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story. I had tears in my eyes. Your little boy is very fortunate to have you as his family.

  6. Deb says

    Thanks for sharing this. We adopted our son from Vietnam in 2006 and have been waiting over 3 years for a second adoption since the country shut down. Adoption is a battle–it is not for the weary of heart. The good news is God is so glorified by adoption and uses it to mold us more into the image of Christ. This story gives me new strength for the battle–I can keep fighting and waiting seeking God’s grace knowing that it is so worth it!!!
    Praying for you!

  7. says

    Shannan, your ability to write is such a gift from God and it’s amazing how you use it. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and love seeing you over here. Your stories are blessings to read. Lay, you know how excited and prayerful I am for you & Kevin as you begin to document your own story about how you met your baby!

  8. says

    Hi Layla,
    Hope it’s ok to refer to you by your first name even though we’re strangers. Somehow, I feel like I know you as much as I know a good friend. Thank you for your openness and your amazingness and your…ness.

    I am so honored that you are allowing us a glimpse into your adoption process. I am a birthmother that placed for adoption about 20 years ago. Mine is not a tragic story as I had the means and the support to raise my son but I chose to place him for adoption because I wanted more for him than I could provide. In my head, I thought of people like you and Kevin adopting my son and now that I see your story and meet your friends that are adoptive (and forever) parents, I feel such a sense of comfort and joy. Thank you for that – peace is fleeting to me, at times, and your honesty fills a hole in my heart for that baby I said goodbye to 20 years ago.

    You have all of my prayers – thank you, again, for sharing!

    Kelly in IN

    • says

      Thank you for the kind words and for sharing your story here Kelly. My Dad was adopted because his family couldn’t provide for him like they wanted to, too. One day, I’d like to adopt a child from the same Minnesota-based organization he was adopted from. :-)

  9. says

    I am a FPFG Adoption Series junkie. I dragged my computer along on vacation last March, so I could check in daily for the impending arrival of Silas. I have enjoyed your blog for quite some time and this is like a huge bonus to be able to read your family’s story. I’m already on pins and needles for future posts!

  10. Chelsy says

    Oh my, that’s just beautiful. God really knew what he was doing with y’all. I can’t even hardly see what I am typing through the tears, but I hope you all know that I am keeping you close to my heart and in my prayers. I can’t wait to read more about your journey or the day that I am able to share my adoption journey with others. Hugs :)

  11. says

    well that was just beautifully written, wasn’t it?! building your family through adoption is certainly not always easy, but definitely full of blessing as He gives us grace for each moment. Can’t wait to follow your journey. :)

  12. says

    Wow. Definitely a tear-jerker but inspiring too. It’s so wonderful there are people like you who are providing a home and love for these sweet babies. God bless you and your family.

  13. says

    shannan has a great big heart of a gracious godly mama. she loves those babies with every fiber in her soul….the simple days and the grand…all the same.
    i love her story

    & yay for you layla!!!
    how incredible to watch your story unfold too

  14. says

    from an adoptive mom (twice over) i am thrilled to read your posts. i’ll be watching and reading about your journey, holding your family close to my heart and in my prayers. i truly believe that these little ones find their way home to where they should be. bless you on your journey! :)

  15. says

    This is very sweet. You write your story so well. I’m just…happy for you and your little boy. That you found each other and that things are going well. I’m glad he has found a home with someone who loves him so much. Thank you for sharing your story.

  16. says

    Wow….what a way with words! I felt her pain for him, how she wanted to fix his, and get on a plane and take him home! How bittersweet, and sad too! But you are right, you know his home is to be with you even though he doesn’t….so confusing for him! What a transition period! What a lucky little boy to have you to love and protect him.

    Kevin & Layla, you will be amazing parents! I can’t wait to see him/her!

    Cindy
    xo

  17. says

    What a sweet story! My little brother was adopted from South Korea. He was abandoned on a doorstep when he was only 4 days old, and we got him when he was 4 months.That was over 20 years ago and I just love him so much!

  18. Shelley Davis says

    Dear Layla,

    Oh my….you have my heart aching and me crying! I am the mother of 8 children. 5 of which are adopted. Our first child that we adopted was from South Korea. Grace was 4 months old when she came home. Even at that early age she was wounded by the separation from her foster parents. She is now 21 and has been the sweetest and one of the biggest joys of our lives. Sergei came home from Russia at the age of 6 years. He seemingly never had that sense of loss or longing for his orphanage and the children he left behind. He is a wonderful healthy, happy 19 year old. The last 3 children are adopted from the foster care system. They all started out with us as new born babies straight from the hospital. They are now 5 years old. (how we ended up with 3 the same age is a whole other story :})

    All 8 of our children were divinely appointed to our family by our LORD. They were all meant to be our children. GOD just sent them to us in very different ways with very different stories. All will and have grown up knowing loving parents and a loving GOD. Your sweet little man will too. People say we are so good to “have taken these kids”. You and I know the truth we were blessed to be chosen as their parents.

    Blessings to you Layla,
    Shelley

  19. says

    Such a beautiful post! I love knowing/meeting other people who have such joy in their family. Our lives are forever changed because of adoption.

  20. says

    I am so excited to follow along with your adoption journey! We have adopted 3 kids in the last 2 1/2 years and they are all such blessings to our lives. I can really relate to Shannan’s words… my heart breaks for my kids in the strangest small moments. Like our newly adopted 5 1/2 year old today..fell and was hurt, he doesn’t even bother crying because it has never made a difference in the past. And he won’t even look at pictures from his orphanage, and tries to cover my eyes when I look at them as well. I can’t wait until we can communicate more so he can confide in me.
    All children are a blessing, and I can’t wait for you to post a photo of your beautiful bright eyed baby… What a wonderful day that will be!
    Blessings to you.

  21. Lynn says

    Layla, I am SO excited for you both! We have 3 bio children and 4 children who were adopted. I can tell you that, bio or adopted, they are all loved the same! And the journey to each is equally exciting!! It will be so fun to follow your journey!

  22. says

    I’m so excited for the two of you, Layla! I can’t wait to watch you begin this journey. Is it bad that I’m already dreaming of what this little one’s room will look like?! :)
    I just used your cake stand as a centerpiece for my dining table this morning, and I love it in every single place it’s been.

  23. Maran says

    Shannon, your story brought tears to my eyes! I am so happy for you that your little boy is becoming so attached. Several members of my extended family have been adopted and it’s a beautiful thing to bring a child with no home into your own. When one of my adopted cousins became a teenager, he fought with the question “Why did my birth mom not want me?” And my cousin (his mom) always reminds him that we don’t know the circumstances of why she couldn’t keep him but that “we chose you to be in our family. You weren’t just born to us. We specifically picked you and wanted you to be a part of us.” I think that’s been a huge help to him as he’s grown up. The best of everything to you and your family!!

  24. kelly says

    best wishes on your adoption journey, i know this is such a special process and that the right child comes to you. i have many friends that have adopted and they have the most special kids!!!

  25. says

    this is beautiful ♥
    i love hallmark stories that end up being real life!
    i follow and love flower patch farmgirl (we are like twins… except i am years behind)
    i saw your guest blog on her place… thought i would pop over for a bit.
    i am a follower of yours now too :)

  26. says

    This was beautiful. God has placed adoption on my heart (specifically China), but I’m totally clueless about His timing for us. So I’m waiting. But every adoption story just makes me get all excited/weepy/hopeful. Can’t wait to hear your progress! I love adoption blogs too. :)

  27. says

    Wow Layla, I’m so touched by this story and yours. As my family and I pursue our daughter, we understand the excitement and fear of your first adoption. Please stop by sometime and ready about our ongoing journey to be a family of five. I’ll keep you in my prayers and gladly follow along your journey!
    God’s blessings friend,
    Sarah :D

  28. says

    i never tire of hearing FPFG’s adoption journey with her precious kiddos….

    i have started slowly talking about our adoption journey with our daughter, lydia….but honestly, i’m still trying to discern what part of her story i share and what part i keep sacred just for her…..

    so thrilled for you & kevin….so many people have said it, but it’s so, so true..God perfectly hand picks your children and he sits them down in your life and you become a beautiful family…..

    even if your adjustment is hard, he still handpicked them just for you. remember that if you have hard days….

  29. Kristy says

    Shannon – thank you so much for sharing and even putting into words things I’ve been thinking and feeling the last week or so. We arrived in the US on New Year’s Eve with our 2 1/2 year old son that we just adopted. His transition has been up and down and we’ve been up and down, but there is so much joy too.
    Kristy

  30. Geri Greco says

    Layla.
    That was such a beautifully written story
    From the heart.
    I love a saying I saw years ago.
    A mother holds her Childs hand for a
    Short time but their hearts forever.
    I will love every minute of your journey
    With Kevin towards your life filled with unconditional
    Love,unlimited laughter and days of pure joy.
    Hugs,Geri.

  31. says

    Dear Layla and Kevin-
    Your blog is by far my favorite, one that I read almost everyday (even when you don’t have a new post, darn!). And now that you are sharing your adoption journey with all of us, I have new and wonderful posts to look forward to. We adopted our daughter, Jade-Rose from China this past August at the age of 5. We also created an adoption blog documenting our “paperchase” and the journey to bring Jade-Rose home. She is now 6, and joins her 6 year old twin brothers, so now I have Triplets!!

    My blog stops at the day JR landed in the United States and became an American citizen. I have only recently decided to create another blog documenting our life as a new family. I didn’t continue the original one as I wanted to give her time to adjust to her new life. Now that we have been so Blessed by her and by how well she is doing, I will be starting a new blog. But until then if you would like to check out our adoption blog it is http://konuchfamily.blogspot.com.

    I can’t wait to read about your journey! Wait until you see how your heart explodes wide open…

  32. says

    Shannon,
    Layla was right. . . I cannot stop the tears. Your post was beautiful and I thank you for sharing it with all of us. May God continue to heal and bless you and your family.

    Layla,
    I am so excited for this journey for you and Kevin! I’ve been following you on Twitter and couldn’t wait to get home from work today so I could read this new section of your blog. I will keep you in my prayers as you embark on this incredible journey. I know there is the perfect little person out there who needs the love that the two of you and TLC will provide.

    Stephenie

  33. says

    Thank you, Shannon, for sharing your story….what a blessing you are. I’ll be thinking of you guys often and praying for you.

    Layla and Kevin, I’m literally tearing up and grinning ear to ear with excitement for you guys…you will be such wonderful parents and I know that He has chosen just the child (or children) for you…you have so very much to give and I’m so thankful to be able to see the plan unfold for your family.

    love you guys, shaunna :-D

  34. Joyce says

    Layla-
    I am thinking of adoption because of your link to the Portis’ family blog, and from there all the many websites of “forever families”, including FPFG.
    Thank you.

  35. Sandra says

    Bless the both of you.

    Many of our friends have adopted, and several of my own extended family members are adopted. The gift you have to offer has no price tag, and for that, I thank you.

  36. says

    I’m verklempt. Thank you for sharing your stories, Shannan!
    Layla & Kevin I can just tell you are going to love that baby so very much and look forward to reading about him or her!

  37. says

    Wow, Shannan – this is beautiful and heartbreaking and hopeful all at the same time. Thank you for sharing. And Hi Layla – I’m so excited for you and your husband to start this new journey! My hubs and I have adopted one from Guatemala and now are fostering three – one of which is name Layla as well! The adoption/foster journies have changed my life and opened my eyes. God will bless you abundantly!!

    And you two are adorable! :)

  38. says

    I can not put into words how excited I am that you and Kevin are adopting. I’ve been following your blog for sometime now, and although I love home decor and all things related… Our (my husband and mine) heart is for children, and adoption. We have one little girl, 10months old, who we had the “old fashioned way,” but are currently working through the mountains of paper work to adopt our next child. I believe that adoption is one of the most precious things in existence and is one of the things closest to the heart of God… demonstrated by our adoption into His family through Jesus. I will pray for you as you embark on this wonderful journey!

  39. says

    Shannan…this has me in tears. Each time you share a layer of the process your family has gone through I am immeasurably thankful. Your transparency is so invaluable. As we wait…and wait some more…I know that however our story unfolds, your openness about every aspect of adoption has played a huge role in the preparation of my heart. Thank you. Again.

    Layla – thanks so much for extending this invitation. And for opening up your hearts to all of blog land as you begin this incredible journey! Can’t wait to see the road God has paved for your little family, and meet your precious little person/people! Blessings & prayers!

  40. says

    Oh my, I read Shannon all the time, and I love her posts. They make me smile, cry and laugh. There’s so much to be learned from the people all over the world – thank goodness for blogs and the internet!! Ps. Just saw your website today, and I think it’s absolutely delightful.

  41. says

    What a beautiful story!

    Layla, I don’t know you, but excited for you on your adoption journey! My husband and I adopted our gorgeous son in Dec. 2009. It was the most amazing, yet emotional time of my life. We are truly blessed!!! YOUR child will find you just at the most perfect time and he or she will be the child meant for you!

  42. says

    This made me tear right up, as most adoption stories do. My husband and I are currently waiting to be matched up with our first two children who are in Ethiopia. Good luck to you, Layla, as you begin the journey!

  43. says

    I loved reading your story – I have two little treasures of my own and your beautiful writing brings home once again all that our hearts have had to contain. I’m looking for more of your writing . . .

    blessings!

    xo ellie

  44. says

    Shannon: wondrous, as always. *sniff sniff* I had to snatch a big hug from my two year old when I was done.

    Layla, that same two year old turned to look at your website with me. He saw the picture of you and your husband and categorized you, as he does with most pictures. Pointing at Kevin, he said “Daddy.” Pointing at you, he said “Momma.” Since you and your husband look nothing like me and my husband, I guess he just knows you’re destined to be parents.

    I’ll be prayerfully anticipating seeing your darling child/children.

  45. Tracey @7294cottageway.blogspot says

    Hi Layla-Thanks for posting. Both of our children are adopted. We have a son adopted domestically and a daughter adopted from South Korea. Miracles! I would love to share our stories with you if you would like-just e-mail me! I found each story of the people who had gone before us- helped us through the process. I will TOTALLY be praying along with so many others for you and Kevin.

  46. says

    After several years of struggling with infertility, my husband and I are starting to look into the adoption process. I’m looking forward to following along with you and Kevin on your journey…thank you for sharing it with us!

    Your blog inspires me every day. In fact, my mantle right now is looking very Lettered Cottage :-)

    I would love to know what adoption blogs and resources you have found helpful!

  47. says

    layla, so excited for you to begin the adoption process!
    we are nearing the end of ours…and it’s been one heck of a ride :)

    can’t wait to have our little girl home…

  48. Corinne says

    What a beautiful post- from both of you! I look forward to following your adoption story Layla…..we hope to start our own soon. My heart says there is some one for me in Africa as well! Adoption will be an adventure for sure even down to the last tear drop….lots of grief but also miracles.

  49. Cori Heffernan says

    My oldest daughter was born in China. We became A family when she was 14 months old in April 1999. When we were there she took to my husband but didn’t want anything to do with me. I held her when she was sleeping and cried. I had read that this may happen but i didn’t want to make things any harder for her. My husband pushed the stroller and I pushed the luggage. We bonded one morning at 4am over oatmeal and Barney. She is now weeks away from 13 already taller then me. Such a treasure in my life. I can’t believe how fast the time has gone.Our small family is now up to six. All the best on your journey .

  50. Sara says

    Thank You Shannan and Layla for sharing so much of yourselves. My boys are adopted, both born in S. Korea. One was 5 months and one was 7 months when they came home to us. It’s hard at any age, but I can only imagine how much harder the grieving process is for an older child. My second son, had a harder adjustment to coming home than did my first. It was heartbreaking. He had been with his birth mother for one month, then a foster mother for 6, then home to us. Once he bonded with us, you could feel his concern about being away from his new mommy. Beginning preschool and then kindergarten this year was tough for him, never wanting to let go of my neck. And this was 4 years after coming home – sometimes it feels like there is a never ending well of sadness that might spring up from time to time. But he is LOVED (to the stars and back as I tell him) and knows it and feels it and I am so thankful that I am the one that gets to do the loving. Being their mommy is the best, most blessed thing I could have ever wanted for my life.
    Good luck Kevin and Layla!

  51. says

    TWO of my most favorite blog girls on the planet… here on the same day? It’s like a blogging miracle!!!! I love you both to pieces, and I love your hearts… and the fact that you gals are buddies? Well OF COURSE you are!!! Such a fantastic article.

    Mwah!
    Sasha

  52. says

    My heart goes out to you and your little man…I can’t even begin to imagine how he felt and you as well. The pain must be unbearable to remember for both of you. I have been unable to have a second child for over 9 years and have been contemplating adoption for a long time, but my husband sadly is not ready. I on the other hand am…I would wrap my arms around my little child or let him/her slowly get to know me, know that all I want to do is share my love. The other day my son heard me say ‘I’ve haven’t done that in 10 years,’ and right away he asked if I was pregnant and I was so sad to tell him no and he said that if I were he would be really excited. I am not sure if he hears me talk about it, but he often talks about getting children from parents who don’t want them and every time this makes me sad as well. Live is funny, sad and wonderful at the same time. I truly thank God that I have my little guy…he lights up my life!
    Thanks for sharing your lovely story, it has obviously affected me quite strongly! Take care and best wishes on your wonderful journey!

  53. says

    oh shannan. just this morning i was praying for our m, and asking God to help me, help him, fortify us all for the days that lie ahead. when i get to really thinking about it i’m sometimes scared it will break us past fixing.

    thanks for this, and for sharing the promise beyond the grief. and thank you, layla, for opening your blog to this post. (we’re adopting from ethiopia too, and i am not good for much, but i’m on my way to being certified in The Fine Art of Waiting. email me if you need tips. ;)

  54. Lou Ann says

    I’m reduced to a puddle of tears. I have a heart invested in the adoption of two children – they are now 19 & 22 years old. We are still on the journey and experiencing grief due to the fact that our daughter (19) chose to leave us to go to her birthmom ( not a good situation) and we haven’t seen her or spoken to her in 7 months. Prayers appreciated – for us and for her to know the Truth of who she is and for her broken heart to be healed. Thanks for the post, Farmgirl, and blessings on you, Kevin & Layla as you give yourself to your new child.

  55. says

    Oh how hard those first few days must have been for him and you. What a story of love,compassion and family!
    He is where he was always meant to be!Home!
    xoxo
    Natalie

  56. says

    I think adoption is such an amazing option. I have an aunt who has many adopted children. I know most of their stories. However, I never thought of the child losing the only life they have ever known. Good or bad.
    Pass the kleenex!
    Best of luck on the process! God is awesome!!

  57. Laurie says

    Beautifully written! Sounds so much like my son we adopted at 12mos old from south Korea. I could not leave the room without him following me or crying in my absence. I am thrilled to say he is now 13, and we still have a very close bond. The age a child was adopted plays so much into their adjustment. Our oldest was adopted at 4 mos and his was smooth sailing and our youngest was adopted at 7 from China and other than the language difference his adjustment has gone wonderfully!

  58. says

    Hey Layla & Kevin,

    You mentioned that you have been reading other blogs about adoption. Where you are drawing inspiration from others who are sharing their stories. I wanted to mention a blog that I found a while ago. I am not sure how I came across it, but I bookmarked it anyway. You will definitely be drawn in by Stefanie’s adorable family. The name of her website is Ni Hao Y’all. I don’t know if your website allows links to be included with comments, so if you just type all of that in, with no spaces, or punctuation, you should be able to get there. They are about to adopt their seventh special needs child from China. They also have three biological children. So, once the are able to bring their newest little one home from China, they will have ten children!!!! All I can say to that, is WOW! LOL!
    Anyway, I thought you might enjoy her website. She has definitely shared her experiences on adopting each and every one of the children. Have fun reading!

  59. says

    OOPS! I told you wrong in my last comment. Stefanie has four biological children, and is getting ready to adopt her 6th from China. Sorry about that. =)

  60. says

    I’m adopted. I just wanted to say that this was one of the most beautiful things I’ve read about adoption. Thank you for sharing. :)

  61. Sharon Wood says

    When I read your story, I was crying and had chills at the same time… what all three of you must have gone through, I know words cannot describe. I am so grateful that I have two of my own children. What you and your husband have gone through is nothing short of childbirth. I will tell you something that is some advice from a friend,”Hold them as much as you can!” I did so with both of mine and to this day,{my daughter is 32 years old and my son is 25} I do not regret a day of holding them….people told me I was spoiling them, neither are spoiled!

    By the way,my friend that gave me the advice had 6 children and will celebrate her 91st birthday this month, I have been friends with her for 42 years.

    Love to you and Kevin,

    Sharon

  62. says

    So excited for your adoption Layla! I have never commented here, but the topic of adoption always lures me out of lurkdom!!! Our oldest son was adopted from Ukraine 5 years ago at the age of 3 (with a heart defect). I could relate to so much of your guest poster’s words. Adoption is beautiful, but it’s not easy. We still battle the effects of our son’s first 3 years spent in an institution in Eastern Europe. Anyway, I have his story on my blog and would love for you to read it if you want. I was like you when we were in process and wanted to read every adoption story I could lay my hands one. Here’s the link….www.miraclemama.blogspot.com. Can’t wait to see how God leads you and provides a child for your family!! Oh, and I’m just up the road a bit from you in Tuscaloosa:)!

    • says

      As an adoptive mother myself, i really appreciate ur story. Our sweet Nate was born here in the US, so we didnt travel abroad………I truely believe that God knows just the right children for just the right parents. Good luck and best wishes for the future…………Bonnie

  63. Analisa in Goliad says

    My husband just turned 62. He is the eldest of 5 siblings who were adopted by an amazing family when he was only 9 years old and the youngest was 18 months old. He remembers how it felt to be left and as he states it, how it felt to be rescued! He later met up with his biological family and had no regrets in doing so, but he will tell everyone that his Mom and Dad are Mr. Mrs. Bill Kennedy of Woodsboro, Texas. So for those of you who are looking to adopt, remember the older children too as they can grow up to be as special as my husband of 36 years, a college graduate, Vietnam Veteran, and now a judge. Good Luck with all adoptions as it is truly a gift for both sides.

  64. LeeH says

    I understand completely the anguish experienced by both you and your lovely boy. I used to work for an international adoption agency, and I had the opportunity to go to Seoul to escort home a 2-year old girl. Her foster parents were crying, but she had no idea what was coming until I climbed into the van and that sad, broken hearted woman handed the little sweet girl to me. I sat by the window and they came around to my side of the van and put their hands on the window and I will never forget the howl that came from that child. I tried my best to comfort her and she was not having it. It was a rough day for both of us and she was pretty numb when I handed her to her new family. There was a Korean woman from the agency there at the airport to softly speak Korean to her and I have heard she has adjusted just fine. But it really is a double-edged sword. I could not be a foster parent.

  65. says

    I’ve never experienced adoption, but did fostering for several years in the 90’s. This is a beautiful post about love, faith and the knowledge that God knows us personally and will NEVER try us beyond our strengths… either He will strengthen us OR change to situation to meet our strengths/weaknesses.

    Hugs and best wishes on your new happy journey with your sweet son!

  66. Allison says

    I was stumbling through home decor blogs when I saw the sweet little face of this little boy in a black and orange striped hoodie. I attend Muncie First Church and was working in the childrens Sunday School room a while back when this same sweet little face came in, striped hoodie and all. He was not so thrilled to be there and made sure I knew he wanted to stay bundled in his sweatshirt, hood up and all, it was so sweet. He let me hold and cuddle him until I had to leave. What a precious child! It took me by surprise to see that picture so I wanted to leave a post!

  67. says

    Hello There, Im new to your blog.. but was immediately intrigued by both the designing/diy aspect and the adoption page… It has always been a dream of mine to someday adopt a child, so thank you for sharing your journey. I hope all your adoption wishes come true!!!!

  68. Stephanie says

    That I was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I felt your sons heart breaking inside my own chest and yours as well.
    What strong beautiful words you have shared.
    I thank you.
    Stephanie

  69. Alecia Shannon says

    Yay!!! I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for you all in this beautiful journey. You are living out James 1:27 – Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. – Thanks for your sweet example of this and for opening your hearts and home to a child that needs and deserves it! :-) Blessings to you all as you walk out this new journey. I pray the Lord will give you strength and wisdom for what’s a head. I pray a quick bond will happen between you and your little one.

  70. Phyllis Sideris says

    My husband and I have been foster parents for over 20 years. We have mostly taken long term children who were considered “unadoptable” for one reason or another. A few of them have stayed with us all through their teen years and are still our “family” even though they were never made available for adoption. They have been such a blessing to our family and now a couple of our girls are parents and we are grandparents to some beautiful children. We were actually able to adopt one of the “unadoptable” girls when she was 14. She is now almost 24 now and is a mother to an adorable 18 month old boy. She has been such a blessing to us as are the other “children” in our lives. Particularly 2 women and 2 men.. What a joy it is to be able to add to your family this way. You will be blessed beyond belief and so are we!

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